3. • “I don't want to be married anymore."
• A whisper moved across my husband’s lips as if
he couldn’t find his voice. A whisper, a barely
audible cluster of words, were about to change
the trajectory of my entire life.
• “What? I stammered…….
4. • We stood there in the kitchen, our two year
old son playing at our feet. it felt like the
time dad told me grandpa passed away and
I felt the weight of the whole world come
down on my shoulders
• My Husband looked to me, pained, then
covered his eyes as if to hide. His shoulders
slumped.
5. • There were no tears -my body couldn’t react to a
world that didn’t yet make sense. And I struggled
to process the scene, especially my son who was
playing in complete and blissful oblivion while his
world crashed around him. I knew no matter how
hard we tried, we’d GROWN APART, that phrase
people use when they can’t point to abuse or
affairs or addiction, the usual suspects leading to
divorce. In fact, those reasons are far more
forgivable than merely growing apart.
7. Ashley Davis Bush- Specialist in Couples Therapy
“It’s Incredibly easy for couples to grow apart
because we have such busy lives.”
8. Some Contributing Factors
• Ageing - Age gap
• Differences in Views (Generally)
• Health issues
• Careers - Work
• Economic and Social Gap/Differences
• Changes in Family Structure - Kids Marrying and Leaving, Grand
Kids coming
10. BUT THEN THERE COULD BE
SERIOUS THREATS TO YOUR
RELATIONSHIP
11. A relationship can Die without a single
slammed door or Raised voice
• Even when there is no Cheating, No Screaming,
No irreconcilable differences, It can happen
Slowly and Silently
12. Some Warning Signs
• Absence of Affection
• Absence of Humour
• Absence of Curiosity
• Absence of Excitement
• Absence of Empathy
13. How About
• Chasing/Pursuing New Frontiers
• Trying to close gaps alone
• Bringing unwelcome change
• Feeling abandoned in the middle of a collapsing
family
14. • If you have a huge fight with your partner it
would be very strange for both of you not to
notice. One of you should worry if that happens
and such conflicts should be addressed.
17. Talk about it
• This invites COLLABORATION Instead of playing the
blame game.
• let your partner know how you’re feeling about it.
• Be open about it and seek COUNSELLING immediately
• Most Couples wait around six years before seeking help
18. PRIORITIZE SEX
• Couples who do not grow apart continue to maintain sexual
relationship
• In fact sex can be used as a good measure for how healthy a
relationship is
• Commit to making sex a PRIORITY
• Everyones needs are different, so talk about it and try to meet in
the middle
• Scheduling sex can help
19. BRING BACK OLD
HABITS
• Go back to doing the things you did when you
fell in love
• Which Activities brought the best side of
Him/Her
20. TRY NEW THINGS
• “Relationships thrive on Novelty” - Ashley Davis Bush
• Try things you have not done before
• Go to a new Restaurant
• Have new Friends
• New Hairstyle
• New Hobbies
21. LISTEN AND BELIEVE THE THINGS YOUR
PARTNER SAYS ABOUT YOU
• Appearance
• Your Friends
• New Habits
• Fashion
• Moods?Temper
• Routine
22. PLAN RECURRING DATE
NIGHTS
• “Plan a regular Date Night and commit to talking
about anything BUT the Kids, Reminisce about
(Your) Dating days and share something that the
other doesn’t about” says Hansen
23. ASK MEANINGFUL
QUESTIONS
• Hansen says:
• “To avoid growing apart couples must remain interested in one another, And
one way of doing that is to ask your spouse meaningful questions”
• “They help to deepen the conversation and allow us access to our partners
inner thoughts”
• “If you are new parents, talk about how becoming a parent has changed you,
what you like the most about it, and what’s been the most surprising
change.”
• “If you are going to be new parents, talk about how its going to impact your
routine, how you would need the other to help etc.”
24. DON’T BE AFRAID TO GO PERSONAL
WITHOUT BEING OFFENSIVE
• How can I change
• How can I help you to change
• What do you expect from me
• When do you expect it
• How do you expect me to execute it
25. Be Reasonable with Your
expectations
Do Not Overlook Obvious Limiting
Factors
26. One thing which could help
those in long, working
relationships
27. Stay Separate to Stay
Together
• No matter How long you have been together it is
important to maintain some degree of SEPARATION.
• Have Individual Hobbies
• Have Different groups of Friends
• This gives you the chance to MISS each other and look
forward to the reunion
28. WHEN IS IT REALLY
OVER?
• Unfortunately There are Times and Instances
When it is really over and ONLY God could
CHANGE things around.
29. • Does every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial,
evolve into a fight?
• Do you or your spouse continually refer to hurtful
events in the past?
• Is all respect gone from your relationship, and do you
feel it is impossible to bring that respect back?
• Is your partner no longer showing interest in your
individual growth and progress?
30. • Have you both lost the art of compromise such that
every argument ends with each individual maintaining
their own path?
• Have you both changed so much that you no longer
share Moral, Ethical or Lifestyle values?
• Do you and your spouse have a basic sexual
incompatibility? Do you feel completely un-attracted to
each other despite help from professional therapists?
31. 5 Signs That You’re
Heading In The Wrong
Direction
32. • Your Spouse has stopped COMPLAINING.
• You both put your Kids first.
• You are more interested in other couples than
your own Relationship.
• Your FRIENDSHIPS suddenly become more
important.
• You no longer WONDER what the other is
thinking.
33. Before You close I HAVE
a Question
a Comment
a Query
a Compliment
