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What are the Historical & Current Trends in Dating & Mate Selection?
Dating
• History of Dating in the United States
• Colonial – lives of children, especially daughters, strictly
controlled
– Courtship – a publicly visible process with specific rules
& restrictions
– Parents didn’t have legal right to prevent an undesirable
marriage, but did exert considerable influence
– Courtship more liberal than European arranged
marriages
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• From Courtship to Dating
– Industrial Revolution made it impossible for parents to
maintain strict control on their children
– Invention of the automobile increased mobility &
provided alone time for young couples
– Dating – when two people meet at an agreed upon time
& place to partake in social activity
• Modern Dating
– Women’s movement empowered women to initiate dates
– Couples increasingly split the cost of dates
– Sexual intimacy became common
– Cohabitation increased
– Increased rates of casual relationships
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• Reasons for Dating
• Functions dating fulfills
– Recreation
– Provides companionship & intimacy
– Helps learn social skills
– Gain confidence & self-esteem
– Develop one-on-one communication skills
– Mate Selection
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• Marriage Market – a system in which prospective
partners evaluate the aspects & liabilities of potential
spouses & choose the best
– Three Components
○ Supply of men & women looking for partners
○ Preferences for particular characteristics
○ Resources which can be offered to potential
partners
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• Types of Dating
• Going Steady – dating one person exclusively
• Pack Dating – dating in small groups without
committing to one person
• Serious Dating – couple see each other exclusively &
usually spend most of their leisure time together
• Engagement – the public commitment to marry
– Prenuptial Agreement – a legal document
stipulating financial arrangements in the event of
a divorce
– Disengagement – the breakdown of an
engagement
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• Meeting Potential Partners
• Online Dating – using special dating Web sites to meet a
potential spouse
• Online dating is the 3rd
most popular place to find a romantic
partner
• Facebook will continue to lure people away from traditional
online technologies
• Speed Dating – an accelerated form of dating in which men
& women choose whether to see each other again based on
a very short interaction
• Differences in Dating Practice
• Gender
– Traditional gender roles still influence the dating script
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• Difference in Dating Practice Continued
• Social Class
– Most date & marry within their social class
– Lower class youths are less likely to go on
structured dates
• Race
– Trends mirror those of social class due
– Shortage of well-educated eligible black men
– Interdating – when people date members of other
racial or ethnic groups
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• Difference in Dating Practice Continued
• Age
– Spouses tend to be just 2-3 years apart in age
• Sexuality
– Being part of a marginalized group is the primary
difference between homosexual & heterosexual
relationships
○ Marginalized group – a group relegated to a
social standing outside the mainstream
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• Diversity in Dating
• Youth support diversity in dating while parents lag
behind
• Racial homophily – the preference of associating with
individuals of the same racial background
• Diversity in socioeconomic status is also increasing
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• Dating Violence
• The perpetration of an act of violence against a person in the
context of a relationship
• Date Rape – the act of forcing sexual intercourse on a non-
consenting date or partner
• Theories of Mate Selection
• Psychodynamic Theories
– Parent Image Theory – people are more likely to select
partners which resemble their opposite sex parent
– Ideal Mate Theory – people develop a model image of
their mate based on their early childhood experiences
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• Theories of Mate Selection Continued
• Needs Theories
– Complementary Needs Theory – people select
mates whose needs are opposite but
complimentary to their own
• Exchange Theories – uses the concepts of rewards &
costs to explain interpersonal attraction
• Developmental Process Theories
– Individuals narrow down their choice of mate using
a filtering system
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Field of Eligibles – the group of people whom society defines as
acceptable marriage partners
Propinquity – geographic closeness
Physical Attractiveness similar to one’s own
Social Filter
• Homogamy – same race, class, age, & educational
background
• Heterogamy – dissimilar race, religion, or age
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Think Marriages & Families
How Do Theorists View Dating & Mate Selection?
• Functionalism
• As a forerunner to marriage in Westernized cultures,
dating is part of a stabilizing process
• Dating has negative consequences
– Dysfunctions – the negative consequence of a
social structure
• Dating habits are influenced by social values, gender
roles, & demographics
– Sex Ratio – relationship between the number of
men & women of a given age in a society
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Think Marriages & Families
• Conflict Theory
• Inequality is an inevitable aspect of most social
relationships
• Conflict also exists between individuals
– Consensus – an agreement that is achieved in
mate selection by choosing a partner with similar
values & beliefs
• Differences of power & status influence social behavior
• Symbolic Interactionism
• Socialization influences the qualities desired in mates
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Discover Marriages & Families in Action
How are Couples & Families Finding Creative Ways to Date?
• Keeping Dating Fresh
• Family Dates – revolve around including children in
the date
• Educational Dates – revolve around learning new skills
& enhancing knowledge
• Charitable Dates – revolve around doing something
positive for their community