Soft skills such as Empathy, Assertiveness,Proactiveness, Passion and Ability to construct win win solutions play a critical role in career development. They need to be cascaded on top of the technical expertise that one has to build. These are illustrated with many role play examples for effective teaching in a class room environment.

1. balasubp@gmail.com
Soft Skills for (managing) Hard Choices in Life and Career
delivered on Feb 20, 2017 by
Dr. P. Balasubramanian, Ph.D.
Founder & CEO, Theme Work Analytics, Bangalore
Seminar Series of lectures at
Madurai School of Management

2. Hard Choices in Life and Career: …..at present
I have finished college but my father
wants me to run his textile store
I want to go to Chennai to work in a
four star hotel as a manager but my
family wants me to stay in Madurai and
work in a factory here
I want to work for a few years but I may
have to get married soon
No hierarchy but strong emotional
bonding with family

3. Hard Choices in Life and Career: at work
Your Project Manager wants you to go
abroad on a project for a year but you don’t
want to go because the assignment is not
exciting
Your customer is demanding the car be
repaired and returned in three days but the
mechanics are unwilling to work overtime
Your colleagues want to go on strike to
press their demand for better canteen
facilities but you don’t want to join
Hierarchy exists but weak bonding with others.

4. Hard Choices in Life and Career
You need to
Communicate
Debate
Negotiate
Accommodate
Assert
Motivate
Inspire
Convince
Unify
Resolve
Being effective in each of these acts calls
for building the soft skills; ability to
relate and interact well with people.

5. Effective Communication ( incl.Presentation)
Brevity
Clarity
Simplicity
A picture can be
equal to 1000
words.

6. Agenda
Human Motivation: Maslow’s Need Hierarchy
Group Behaviour
Know yourself
Organisational Expectations
Effective Communication ( incl.Presentation)
Effective Interaction
Understanding others from their perspective
Cross Cultural impact: Help Desk Case Study
Constructing Win Win Solutions
Effective Discussions, Negotiations
Soft Skills Ladder
Summary
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
in Life and Career

7. Know yourself: What is your personality?
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
Adaptable
Idealistic
Aspiring or Content
vocal or silent
Self Conscious
meticulous or Careless
empathetic
Sensitive
Moody
Possessive
Adventurous
Proactive
Forthright
Abrasive or Assertive
impulsive or cautious
analytical
Sharing and caring
Reactive
humorous ?

8. Know yourself: What is your personality?
How fair and objective are you?
How passionate are you? How is it being communicated?
Do you stand by your convictions; willing to take losses?
Do you celebrate success and accomplishment of team and colleagues?
Do you free yourself from constraints; and others too?
Are you comfortable with yourself? Do others enjoy interacting with you?
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
We differ in personality.
Everyone is unique. There are no
right or wrong traits.
What matters is how do we react
and respond to others; carry out
given tasks

9. How do I succeed in my career ?
Circle of concern
Circle of
Influence
How to operate from the right frame of mind
Image Credit:
Images from the book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”,
Stephen R Covey, Simon & Schuster Publication, 2004 Copyright

10. Circle of concern
Circle of
Influence
How to operate from the right frame of mind
How do I succeed in my career ?
Image Credit:
Images from the book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”,
Stephen R Covey, Simon & Schuster Publication, 2004 Copyright

11. Organizational Expectations
• to be competent, innovative,
efficient and self motivated
• Quality, Productivity and
Customer focused
• to be continuously adding
value to yourself
As an Individual

12. Organizational Expectations
• to coordinate, cooperate
and communicate
• Goals, Targets and
Deliverables focused
• to share and to mentor
As a team player

13. Organizational Expectations
• to be caring and sharing
• to be responsible in social
behaviour
• to be ethical
• to be a stakeholder
• to be an ambassador
As an Employee

14. Performance Differentiators
• to work hard and be
dedicated
• To be result oriented and
Customer focused
• to be self disciplined
• to lead by example

15. Performance Differentiators
• to be fair, ethical and
concerned
• to go the extra mile
• to be a learner and a
listener at all times
• to be a team player

16. The significant problems we face
can not be solved at the same
level of thinking we were at when
we created them .
Albert Einstein
Where do we begin ?

17. Hard Choices in Life and Career
You need to build these soft skills
Communicate
Debate
Negotiate
Accommodate
Assert
Motivate
Inspire
Convince
Unify
Resolve
Empathy
Assertiveness
Proactiveness
Passion
Think Win Win

18. Hard Choices in Life and Career
You need to build these soft skills
Communicate
Debate
Negotiate
Accommodate
Assert
Motivate
Inspire
Convince
Unify
Resolve
Empathy
Assertiveness
Proactiveness
Passion
Think Win Win
respect
Trust
fairness
But these skills are meaningful only when built on the
foundation of Respect, Trust and Fairness

19. Hard Choices in Life and Career
Foundation respect
Respect the individual.
Respect one’s right to think, say and act
differently from you.
Respect their diversity; cultural ,religious or
socio economic background.
Carry no gender bias.
“ மா#றா% ேதா(டt+ மl-ைகk1m மணm உ56 “

20. Hard Choices in Life and Career
Foundation Trust
person’s dependability and ability to
get a job done.
Demonstrate trust by entrusting the job,
empowering the person and giving
enough autonomy to perform.
Constant oversight signifies mistrust.
இதைன இதனாl இவ%µ;k1m எ%றாyn+
அதைன அவ%க5 @டl.
1றll 517:

21. Hard Choices in Life and Career
Foundation
fairness
Show that you can be fair and objective in
all dealings.
You can keep aside your preferences and
views or biases however correct they may
be.
Your judgment and decision will always be
based on merits.
எpெபாEll யாrயாrவாyk ேக(πIm அpெபாEll
ெமypெபாEll கா5ப தJK.
1றll 423:

22. Hard Choices in Life and Career
Empathy
• Understanding others from their
perspective and feelings
• Non judgmental interaction
No need to justify their thought or action but to accept their right
to think and act differently.
Understand their state of mind and comprehend their
circumstances well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SW4agS9HXDchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4qCP_NEYYU

23. Hard Choices in Life and Career
Assertiveness
• Ability to state and hold your
views and position firmly
• Standing up for yourself in a
confident and positive manner
Non aggressive posture
no meek submission or accommodation of others needs at the cost of
your priorities and preferences

24. Hard Choices in Life and Career
• Goal oriented action with a
determination to get job done
• Anticipatory action
• forethought
Not merely reacting to commands
not waiting for step by step guidance instructions
Proactiveness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7Gq77sbf4k

25. Hard Choices in Life and Career
• refers to display and clear
communication of
passion,feelings or intent
• transmitting the intensity
• Compelling enthusiasm
Passion
display of passion is the magic ingredient in motivation.
it is infectious,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f37G5HlPe4

26. Speak, write or present with clarity
Organise your thoughts in a logical order
Be fair and Objective at all times
Be assertive: Commit to Deliverables
Don’t generalise Don’t prejudge
Present Data, Evidence, Analysis and Conclusions in that order
Respect time, yours and theirs
Create space for feedback and discussions
Inject passion and humour where needed
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
Effective Communication

27. Communication
skills include oral,
written and spoken
sentences.
Effective Communication ( incl.Presentation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CYb5yxxgjY

28. Recognise it as a two way street
Respect time, theirs and yours
Communicate proactively
React judiciously; respond thoughtfully
Show Empathy
Show respect for the person
Acknowledge the value of diversity ( gender,religion etc)
Let the interaction be transaction based
Debate ideas and concepts not people
Above all,build a foundation of trust, ahead of time
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
Effective Interaction

29. Image Credit:
Kaplan, Robert B. 1966. Cultural Thought Patterns in Inter-cultural
Education. Language Learning 16: 1-20.."
Communication patterns
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
Effective Communication

30. Image Credit:
Images of the book "Ost trifft West" (East meets West),Hermann Schmidt
Verlag Mainz-Differences between Germans and Chinese - A diary of
Yang Liu @Yang Liu Design, 31 July 2007 ; ISBN-10: 387439
Communication
West
East

31. Image Credit:
Images of the book "Ost trifft West" (East meets West),Hermann Schmidt
Verlag Mainz-Differences between Germans and Chinese - A diary of
Yang Liu @Yang Liu Design, 31 July 2007 ; ISBN-10: 387439
Tackling an obstacle
West
East

32. Image Credit:
Images of the book "Ost trifft West" (East meets West),Hermann Schmidt
Verlag Mainz-Differences between Germans and Chinese - A diary of
Yang Liu @Yang Liu Design, 31 July 2007 ; ISBN-10: 387439
Interaction in a Group
West
East

33. Image Credit:
Images of the book "Ost trifft West" (East meets West),Hermann Schmidt
Verlag Mainz-Differences between Germans and Chinese - A diary of
Yang Liu @Yang Liu Design, 31 July 2007 ; ISBN-10: 387439
Ego / Self Esteem
West
East

34. Image Credit:
Images of the book "Ost trifft West" (East meets West),Hermann Schmidt
Verlag Mainz-Differences between Germans and Chinese - A diary of
Yang Liu @Yang Liu Design, 31 July 2007 ; ISBN-10: 387439
Team Lead
West
East

35. Decision
Content
Decision Context
Context impacts heavily on decision content
Copyright: PB
Content Vs Context

36. Decision
Content
Decision Context
Culture is not an
overlapping layer
on Context
Copyright: PB
Cross Cultural Interactions
Culture ?

37. Decision
Content
Decision Context
Instead Culture
permeates into
both the Context
and the Content
layers
Copyright: PB
Content Vs Context

38. Knowledge of
both mathematics
and
American Culture
needed to enjoy
this humour.
Effective Communication: Cross Culture

39. India’s Diversity
• India is equal to
all these
countries put
together in
terms of
population,
language,
religion &
Cultural diversity
Respect
persons, views
and diversity

40. Copyright: PB
Cross Cultural Interactions

41. Help Desk Process
Copyright: PB

42. Help Desk Process : Notable Features
It recognises the need to be time efficient from both
the customer and service provider perspectives.
It is a fair system of service for agreed value.
It recognises the need for division of labour.
It creates separate queues based on severity of the
problem.
And it treats the customer as a valuable resource for
system improvement
Selling function is separated from the Servicing
function
Copyright: PB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CYb5yxxgjY

43. Help Desk Process : Issues from the East
Customer Preference is to talk to a person
To set the Context
To describe the issue in detail to start with
Authentication must wait
Family needs to be signed up for service
To combine sales and service functions
To train the agent on multi tasking
Copyright: PB

44. Clarity in Agenda
Setting the boundary lines
Identify all stakeholders
Don’t be the Devil’s Advocate all the time
Go beyond Idea Generation
Don’t be judgmental or opinionated
Be judicious in use of authority
Construct win win solutions
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
Effective Discussions

45. Create a congenial atmosphere
Know your strength vis a vis the other party
Get a firm grip on Decision Criteria
Understand what is valued the most and why
Plan trade offs
Do not fear failure
Soft Skills for managing Hard Choices
Effective Negotiations

46. Constructing Win Win Solutions
Identify all stakeholders
Understand their Decision Criteria
Study trade off preferences
Grasp their emotional connects
Propose fair solution alternatives
Maintain a cordial atmosphere
Allow solution iteration
Be willing to cascade the solution structure
Copyright: PB

47. The Six Thinking
Hats
Image and Concept Credit:
“Six Thinking Hats”, Author: Edward de Bono: Book Publisher: Penguin
Books, Copyright with MICA Management Resources Inc., 1985, 1999

48. Image and Concept Credit:
“Six Thinking Hats”, Author: Edward de Bono: Book Publisher: Penguin
Books, Copyright with MICA Management Resources Inc., 1985, 1999

49. Each Hat represents one type of thought
The White Hat
The White Hat calls for Information known or
needed.
The Red Hat
The Red Hat signifies Feelings, Hunches,
and Intuition.
The Black Hat
The Black hat is Negative Judgment—the
devil’s advocate or why something may
not work.

50. The Yellow Hat
The Yellow hat symbolizes brightness and
optimism.Benefits and Value. Constructive
Thinking.
The Green Hat
The Green hat focuses on creativity: the
Possibilities, Alternatives, and New Ideas.
The Blue Hat
The Blue Hat is used to Manage the
thinking process
Each Hat represents one type of thought

51. White Hat
Facts & Figures
Just give me the facts in a neutral and
objective manner.”
“Never mind the interpretation: just the facts
please.”
White Hat Thinking is a convenient way of
asking for the facts and figures to be put
forward in a neutral manner.

52. “…don’t ask me why. I just don’t like this deal. It stinks.”
“..I have a hunch that in spite of our planning this
project is not going to have a great going.”
The Red Hat
Emotions and Feelings
Red Hat is the opposite of neutral, objective
information
Hunches, intuition, impressions are allowed
No need to give reasons or the basis

53. “…I don’t think lowering prices is going to help.”
The logical negative
Why it will not work
It does not fit our knowledge and experience
Critical judgment
The pessimistic view
The Black Hat
Logical- Negative

54. “…the positive thing now is that we know how
he is going to act. The uncertainty is over.”
The Yellow Hat
Speculative- Positive
Positive Thinking
Optimism
Focus on benefits
Constructive thinking
Making things happen

55. The Green Hat
Creative and Lateral Thinking
“…lets have some new ideas on this.
Put on your green thinking hats.”
Green Hat is about:
New ideas, new concepts and new
perceptions.
The deliberate creation of new ideas.
Alternatives and more alternatives.
Change.
New approaches to problems

56. Using 6 straight lines (without lifting your pen
or retracting a line) connect all 16 dots.
The Green Hat
Creative and Lateral Thinking

57. “…My blue hat thinking definitely
suggests that we ought to be looking
for alternatives at this point.”
The Blue Hat
Control of Thinking
Control
Thinking about thinking
Instructions for thinking
The organization of thinking
Control of other hats
Asking the right questions Defining the problem

58. The Use of 6 Thinking Hats
• It’s a critical meeting facilitation tool.
• It’s an outstanding team
• productivity/communication tool.
• It’s a creativity enhancer.
• It’s a control mechanism used to
maximize and organize a person’s
thoughts (help make decisions and
solve problems).
• Can be used to avoid and resolve
conflicts.
Image and Concept Credit:
“Six Thinking Hats”, Author: Edward de Bono: Book Publisher: Penguin
Books, Copyright with MICA Management Resources Inc., 1985, 1999

59. Decision
Content
Trust
Copyright: PB
Cascading the skill Sets
Trust
Respect
Fairness
Communication
Interaction
Discussion
Negotiation
Leadership

60. How to succeed in career ? The Soft Skill Ladder
Respect Trust Fairness
Empathy
Assertiveness Pro-activeness
Passion
Discretion Congeneal
Win Win mindset

61. • Know how to boot strap success
• Construct win win solutions for all stake
holders
• Inject passion into it for effective
implementation
• Be Capable of impacting on team’s beliefs
and altering its behaviour. ( going far
beyond knowledge sharing or skill building)
• Be an Intrepreneur
How do I succeed in my career ?

62. • Soft Skills are essential for effective
performance.
• Many soft skills can be acquired by practice
• Empathy, Assertiveness, Proactiveness,
Discretion, Display of Passion and Thinking
Win Win are the foremost traits.
• Trust, Fairness and Respect for others are
core values needed to be an effective
Communicator, Performer and a Leader
• Add Life Skills such as Time and Stress
Management, Proactiveness and Equanimity
to Soft Skills to succeed in life and career.
Summary

63. • Time Management
• Stress Management
• Spoken,Written and Presentation
Communication Skills
• Supervisory Skills
• Practicing Empathy.Assertiveness,
Proactiveness and Passion
• Checking your foundations of
Respect,Trust and Fairness all the time
• Structuring Win Win Solutions
Summary: Going Forward
Soft/Life Skills to be acquired
Teams Win

64. Interaction Effectiveness Illustration 1
Customer has paid a credit card bill but not on time.
So her next purchase is denied .
She thinks she paid the bill on time.
She is angry about the credit denial at the store.
She calls in her cell phone.
How do you talk to her?
Copyright: PB

65. Interaction Effectiveness Illustration 2
Customer has paid the credit card bill on time.
But your company data base is not updated on time.
So it shows the amount as outstanding.
Hence credit is denied.
Angry customer calling.
How do you handle it?
Copyright: PB

66. Interaction Effectiveness Illustration 3
you are gathered in the conference room and waiting to
make a presentation to customers who are in a hurry.
Your team mate is loading his presentation and suddenly
spills coffee on the key board.
you are upset as the presentation will be delayed by 5
minutes until the spill is cleaned up.
What will you do now?
Copyright: PB

67. Interaction Effectiveness Illustration 4
You have two team members.
You have asked (a) to collect the data and hand it over to (b) in two days.
Then you have asked (b) to perform some calculations using a
spreadsheet and submit the results to you in a day.
(b) brings the results to you.
On scrutiny you find a major error and you are upset with (b).
She starts crying saying that you did not give her enough time.
How will you handle this situation?
Copyright: PB

68. Interaction Effectiveness Illustration 5
You have two team members.
You have asked (a) to collect the data and hand it over to (b) in two days.
Then you have asked (b) to perform some calculations using a
spreadsheet and submit the results to you in a day.
(b) brings the results to you.
On scrutiny you find a major error and you are upset with (b).
She argues saying she never makes a mistake.
What will you do now?
Copyright: PB

69. Interaction Effectiveness Illustration 6
you are the supervisor in a garment factory.
One worker cuts the cloth and the other stitches lace border on it.
Both of them come to work together and go back together for the past two years.
You find that the productivity can be improved by staggering their work by two hours.
Now the second worker has to come two hours later and leave two hours later.
How will you convince her?
Copyright: PB

70. balasubp@gmail.com
Soft Skills for (managing) Hard Choices in Life and Career
delivered on Feb 20, 2017 by
Dr. P. Balasubramanian, Ph.D.
Founder & CEO, Theme Work Analytics, Bangalore
Seminar Series of lectures at
Madurai School of Management
Thanks and Best Wishes