Self-compassion involves being kind and understanding towards oneself, recognizing one's shared humanity, and maintaining a mindful awareness of one's emotions. It has three main components - self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Practicing self-compassion can help improve mental health by reducing self-criticism and feelings of isolation. Research shows self-compassion is influenced by early family environment and oxytocin levels, and that it allows people to view failures as learning opportunities rather than personal flaws. Mindfulness techniques like acknowledging discomfort without judgment can help cultivate self-compassion during stressful times.

1. Self-Compassion
Gráinne Clancy

2. Definition
• “Behaviour that aims to nurture, look after, teach,
guide, mentor, soothe, protect, offer feelings of
acceptance and belonging – in order to benefit
another person.”(Gilbert, 2013, p.217).
• Self-compassion is then directing this to you
(Neff, 2011).
• Learning self-compassion teaches us how to
respond to our emotional reactions when
stressed with kindness, (Neff, 2011).

3. Components of Self-Compassion
• Self-kindness
• common humanity
• Mindfulness
Neff, 2011, p.41

4. Self-kindness
• Self-kindness is being kind to oneself.
• Dejitterate, Hsieh, and Neff, (2005) found
students who were self-compassionate seen
failure as an opportunity to learn from their
academic mistakes.
• It is then not criticising, blaming, complaining
to oneself about mistakes you have made.

5. Common humanity
• Understanding that we are all imperfect human
beings helps us to connect with others (Neff,
2010)
• Isolating yourself is linked with mental health
problems.
• Not facing your problems can result in “Escalating
levels of self-criticism and self-depreciation, a
self-perpetuating downward negative spiral”,
(Graham, 2014).

6. Family of origin
• Neff and McGehee (2010) found that the family
environment impacted on the level of self-
compassion.
• For individuals who grew up in loving, supportive
homes, self-compassion was high.
• A nurturing family environment where problems
are openly discussed increases the levels of
oxytocin resulting in “Increased feelings of trust,
calm, safety, generosity and connectedness, (Neff
et al, 2010).

7. Mindfulness
• Mindfulness involves being aware of the positive
and negative feelings in that moment and not
over identifying and rumination about those
thoughts and feelings, (Neff, 2011)
• Rumination can result in a downward spiral of
negativity, (Albers, Neff, Peters, Smeets, 2014).
• Focusing our awareness of being aware of our
breath is an effective aid in preventing your body
invoking the flight, fright or freeze response
whilst still being aware of negative emotions (Van
Der Volk, 2014).

8. Oxytocin
• Historically oxytocin was deemed a hormone which was pivotal in
pregnancy and breast feeding mothers, (Grabowski and Tortora, 1993).
• MacDonald and MacDonald (2010, p.16) review of the literature conclude
“Oxytocin has effects on social perception, behaviour and social memory”.
The level of oxytocin in your blood stream can influence how sociable you
are.
• Research conducted by Hoge, Keshaviah, Lawson, Metcalf, Pollack, Simon
and Zak, (2012,) found that those clients who had a history of depression
and generalised social anxiety disorder had lower levels of oxytocin.
• Oxytocin helps to slow down and affects the intensity of those feelings
(Neff, 2011).
• Oxytocin levels are increased by positive social interactions and through
touch (Hoge et al, 2012) Oxytocin is seen as the hormone of love and
attachment (Neff, 2011).

9. Stress
• Not dealing with severe stress can result in
“Overidentification. Our sense of self becomes so
wrapped up in our emotional reactions that our
entire reality is consumed by them”, (Neff, 2011,
p. 83).
• This can result in isolation and increased risk of
self-harm (Arensman et al 2014). ).
• Oxytocin helps control the rise of the stress
hormones in moments of flight, fright or freeze
moments, (Van Der Kolk, 2014).

10. Gain an understanding
• “One of the most difficult lessons to master as
we struggle to create effective change is to
learn not to label something as bad because it
is different from what we want” (Glasser,
2011, p. 32).

11. Practical application of self-
compassion
• Teaching yourself that you are not unique but
normal and imperfect (Germer and Neff, 2013).
• Reflect on your self-talk and how this differs from
how you talk to your friends e.g. not criticising,
blaming, complaining to oneself about mistakes
you have made.
• Realising and acknowledging the mistakes you
have made and learning from these mistakes (this
can take time).

12. Recognising discomfort
• Thinking of phrases you would use when you
feel under pressure, stressed or anxious.
• For example “This is a moment of pressure”
(using mindfulness to recognise the suffering)

13. Common Humanity
• How would a friend feel in this situation?
• Acknowledging that a friend would feel the
same way this could be pressured, stressed or
anxious

14. Physical Component
• Self-hugging or stroking your hand will release
oxytocin.
• Oxytocin helps to slow down and affects the
intensity of those feelings (Neff, 2011).

15. References
Arensman, E., Cannon,M., Chambers, D., Clarke, M., Corcoran, C., Keeley, H., McMahon, E., Perry, i. (2014). The
iceberg of suicide and self-harm in Irish adolescents: a population-based study. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric
Epidemiology, 49(12), 1929-1935. doi:10.1007s00127-014-0907-z
Dejitterat, K., Hsieh, Y., Neff, K. (2005). Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure. Self
and Identity, 4, 263-2087. doi:10.1080/13576500444000317
Grabowski, S.,Tortora, G. (1993). Principles of Anatomy and Physiology. New York: HaperCollinsCollegePublishers
Gilbert, P. (2013). The Compassionate Mind. London: Constable.
Glasser, W. (2011). Take Charge of Your Life. Bloomington.
Graham, L. (2014 , February 02). Greater Good. Retrieved from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu:
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_self_compassion_overcome_procrastination
Hoge, E., Keshaviah, A., Lawson, E., Metcalf, C., Pollack, M., Simon, N., Zak, P. (2012). Plasma oxytocin
immunoreactive products and response to trust in patients with social anxiety disorder. Depression and Anxiety, 29,
934-930. doi:10.1002/da.21973
Neff, K., McGehee, P. (2010). Self-compassion and Psychological resilience among adolescent and young adults. Self
and Identity, 9, 225-240. doi:10.1080/15298860902979307
Neff, K., Vonk, T. (2009). Self-Compassion versus Global Self-Esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself.
Journal of Personality, 77(1), 23-48. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2008.00537.x
Van Der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score. London: Allen Lane.