love yourself

1. Love Yourself
Dr. Mahasweta Mandal
Happiness and Mindset Coach

2. Self-Love
• What is “Self love”?
Self love means to be respecting yourself,
knowing who you are and having high self-
esteem.
Being confident, taking responsibility for oneself
, with all flaws, imperfection and rejection.

3. • Self-love is a state of appreciation for
oneself that grows from actions
that support our physical, psychological
and spiritual growth.
• Self-love means having a high regard for
your own well-being and happiness.

4. How can I learn?
• Simply start paying attention to how you feel.
• If you feel crunched up inside, have a ball of
tension or some other unpleasant feeling
(our feelings often start being expressed in subtle
or sometimes not so subtle tensions or sensations
in the body),
• look at your thoughts and you’ll probably find
negative beliefs about yourself and self-talk

5. Imagine A Mother And A Child

6. • The mother is critical, moody,
unpredictable, sharp or even shouts at her
child.
• How does that child feel? Into what kind
of person does that child develop?
• Yes, that’s right, un-self-confident,
uncertain of how to bond or trust with
others and more

7. Now, imagine a ‘good enough mother’
• She is warm, understanding, patient
but also firm and encouraging.
• How does her child develop?
• Curious, creative and free to move
toward self-actualizing

8. • Now let’s look at you
• You are metaphorically both the child and
the mother.
• Which mother are you to yourself?
• Yes, that’s right. You’re probably the toxic
mother. And then you wonder why you feel
unstable and unhappy…

10. How To Discover Self love
• Be a good ‘mother’ to yourself!
 Be unconditionally kind, warm, patient, understanding
and yet firm and encouraging with yourself.
 If there is no love for yourself you are like an empty
teapot. If it is empty, you have no tea to fill the cups on
the table.

11. • Mindful self-awareness.
 Learn to listen to yourself, feel what you are feeling
without indulging and without judging.
 Just relax and give yourself permission to experience
your sadness, fear, anger, anxiety but also joy, love,
faith… whatever you are feeling simply is what you are
feeling. There is nothing wrong or right about it. Relax
and explore!

12. Self Care
Get Outside
Happy Morning walk o evening walk for spending yourself only.
Take Deep Breaths
Do Meditation
Silence for 20mins for connecting with higher energy
Do Exercise

13. Commit To Love Yourself And Take Action
Towards Personal Growth
• Make loving yourself the
number one step from
which you will be taking
on everyday. Write a love
letter to yourself.
• Add sparking moment in
your life.
• Adopt a personal growth
mindset and take on new
challenges and
opportunities for fun and
learning

14. Self talk Meditation Sunbath
Bath
Exercise
Journaling
Emotional Diet For Self Love

15. Forgive, Forget about Past Mistakes
• Let go of past mistakes.
• Forgive all the people in
your past .
• Past trauma is just that—
PAST. Once you’ve
acknowledged the pain, felt all
the feelings, and processed it,
you can let go. You do not have
to continue to be a victim of
old baggage in this moment.
• Release them with love.

16. Take Back Power Over Your Life
• Drop the victim mentality
• No more blaming others or
circumstances.
• Happiness is not dependent on
people. No one can make me
happy and I can’t make others
happy, till we want to do it for
ourselves.
• No one is responsible for my
hurt, pain, fear or anger. It is
my own creation in response to
their behavior. I have another
choice.

17. CTFAR Model
.
•The CTFAR technique helps you analyze how
your thoughts about a circumstance may affect
your emotions, actions, and finally the results
you are experiencing.
If you don’t see the results you are
hoping for, you may not be taking the right
action.
If you are currently not taking the right
action, you may not be generating the right
feelings to propel you to take the right
action.
If your feelings are not aligned with the
action you are hoping to take, you may not
be generating thoughts and beliefs that
serve your goal attainment.

18. Circumstances
 The first step is about reflecting on the circumstances of
the problem or your goal. It is a prompt to distinguish
facts from beliefs and perceptions.
 This step empowers you to understand what you can
and cannot control. What happened in the past,
including your beliefs and emotions about it at the time,
is not something you can change.
 Write the circumstances around your problem or
goal and ask yourself which of them are facts and
which are beliefs.

19. Thoughts
 Thoughts refer to the way we give meaning to
circumstances. It serves as a prompt to reflect on the
impact of your beliefs on your feelings and actions.
 This step is also a reminder that we are not our thoughts,
but instead have a choice over the way we interpret
situations and events.
 Thoughts are sentences in your head. Often, the sentence
contains descriptive words or opinions. If you say, “I have a
terrible past,” that is a thought.
 Reflect on your beliefs about the circumstances, and ask
yourself how they make you feel. What action do they
propel or prevent you to take?

20. Feelings
 It is a prompt to perceive and reflect on the source of our
emotions. How do you feel about the situation and your
beliefs about it?
 Understanding that your thoughts cause your feelings is
how you learn how to feel better without changing
your circumstances. When using the Model, feelings
should be described in one word. Examples of feelings that
can be expressed in one word are happy, sad,
angry, ashamed, joyful, and depressed.

21. • Feelings are like children, they need attention. They are
simply trying to give us a message about ourselves. When
you acknowledge your feelings, they get the attention
they need and go back into their proper perspective and
place in your psyche
• BUT, if you avoid, judge, resist, project or use any other
defense mechanism…. They will persist and make you
and those who love you suffer

22. Action
• The next step challenges you to identify how your feelings
make you more inclined to act one way or another.
• Actions are what you do, don’t do, or react to (e.g.,
actions, inactions, and reactions). In the Model, your
feelings cause your actions, inactions, or reactions.
• If you’re not taking action and wondering why not, ask
yourself what feeling you have right before you want to
take action. Then work backward to see what thought is
driving the feeling.
• Even a ‘wrong’ action is more likely to generate results
than procrastinating.

23. Result
• The last step is a reminder that your experiences are
mostly a result of your actions. If you are not seeing the
result you are hoping for, you may choose to work
backward through the CTFAR model to identify
opportunities to create change.
• The presumption of the CTFAR model is that the results
you see in your life are caused by the actions you take,
which are driven by your emotions, evoked by your
beliefs.
• The Model is a way for you to solve any problem at the
root cause instead of only fixing the symptom
temporarily.

26. • you will not master self-love
instantly. There is a
learning curve.
 Self-love is something we
aspire to. Not something
we put pressure on
ourselves to achieve.
 The road to self-love is full of
interesting twists, turns and
other opportunities for
developing self understanding,
patience, kindness and
compassion

32. • If you’d like to share your insights,
experiences or need some help
overcoming barriers and
cultivating self-love, feel free to get in
touch!
• Wishing you a wonderful, enriching and
successful adventure of selflove.