This document discusses teaching children about good and bad secrets. It notes that toddlers and preschoolers should not be expected to keep any secrets. When children are older, they can be taught that good secrets are surprises like birthday gifts, while bad secrets involve situations that make them uncomfortable, such as abuse, or when an adult tells them to keep something secret forever. Parents are advised to have ongoing discussions with their children about secrets and whether situations involve good or bad secrets.

1. Safety Rules for your Kids (Part 3)
GOOD SECRETS
BAD SECRETS
Child Abuse Prevention Program
By Puja Kanth Alfred, M.A, EFT-Cert1
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2. Don’t allow or expect Toddlers and Preschoolers to
keep any kind of SECRETS.
When children are old enough to understand then
teach them about
Good Secret - Bad Secret

3. Surprising someone with a
birthday gift is a Good secret.
WHAT IS A GOOD SECRET?
Keeping someone’s birthday
a Surprise is a Good secret.

4. When someone asks you to keep a secret forever and says don’t tell
anyone.
When someone hits you or touches you
and says, “ keep it a secret”.
If someone plays a game and says,
“keep it a secret”.
Someone presents you something and says, “keep it a secret”.
WHAT IS A BAD SECRET?
When an adult or a child ( younger, same age or elder child) tells something or
behaves in a way that you don’t like or are uncomfortable with, and asks you to keep
it a secret, then it is a bad secret.

5. FOR PARENTS
 Don’t tell your kids to keep secrets from your spouse.
 Teach kids to share everything with
you – both mother and father.
 Follow the policy of “ No Secrets in our
family” until the child is old enough to understand the
difference between good and bad secrets.

6. FOR DIVORCED PARENTS
In divorced families, parents often ask kids to
keep secrets from their ex-wife or ex-husband,
which is not a good practice.
No matter how much you dislike your ex,
please ask and let your child share everything
with you both.

7. TEACHABLE MOMENTS
 Have discussions with your children on a regular basis.
 Take examples from stories to discuss and ask your children,
“Do you think that is a good secret or a bad secret?” “Why?”
 Allow your child to answer: Keep a poker face. Don’t
immediately offer answers.
Remember there should be ongoing discussions, please don’t think this is a
one-time conversation and it’s covered.
Reference: http://www.kidsafefoundation.org/a-child-who-keeps-secrets-%E2%80%A6-an-easy-
target-for-a-predator

8. References
References:
http://www.kidpower.org/library/article/safe-unsafe-secrets/
http://www.kidsafefoundation.org/a-child-who-keeps-secrets-%E2%80%A6-an-easy-target-for-a-
predator/