Role of Women in Overcoming Erectile Dsyfunction was presented by Clinical Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching at a public forum organised by a group of NTU students at Singapore Conference Hall on Sat 21 Feb 2016. Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching since 2009. She is a certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists), as well as a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). Martha holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality as well as Certificates in Sex Therapy, Practical Counselling and Life Coaching. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World Singapore in July 2010 and ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women by CozyCot Singapore in March 2011. Website: http://www.eroscoaching.com.

1. Role of Women in Overcoming
ED with their Partners
21 February 2016

2. Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Clinical Sexologist
• Doctorate in Human Sexuality
• Masters in Public Policy and
Management
• Bachelor of Arts (Comm)
• Certificate in Sex Therapy
• Certitificate in Practical Counselling
• Cert in Life Coaching

3. Agenda
1. Background
2. Myths/
misconceptions
about sex
3. What happens?
4. Suggestions of
what to do

4. What is Sexology?
Study of sexual interests, behavior, and function which combines:
Biology Physiology Medicine Psychology Statistics Epidemiology
Criminology Religion Philosophy Zoology Anthropology Sociology

5. Sexologists study:
Sexual
development
Sexual
orientation
Sexual
relationships
Sexual activity Sexualities of
special
group

6. Sexual Response

7. Consider the Impact of Culture

8. Culture Impacts Function
• Sex is not discussed 
– Ignorance re: anatomy, function, technique
• Sense of self ≠ societal expectations 
– Anxiety, confusion, shame, isolation
– More depression, substance abuse, unprotected sex
• Gender role inequities 
– Poor communication re: safer sex, sexual needs
– Sexual inhibition/avoidance after sexual trauma

9. Sex and Gender Differences
• Sexiness criticized in women; admired in men:
– ‘Slut’ vs. ‘stud’
• Premarital / extramarital sex unacceptable for women;
condoned in men:
– Intact hymen, chastity belt
• Sexual pleasure valued less / taboo for women:
– ‘My husband’s needs come first’
– Female genital circumcision
• Stigma greater for older women than men:
– ‘All dried up’, ‘withered’ vs. ‘he’s a real Don Juan’

10. • Sex means sexual intercourse
• Talking about sex is not natural, proper, or
necessary
• Sex is for younger people
• Men should initiate sexual activity
• Sex should be spontaneous
• A firm penis is a requirement for satisfying sex
• Quality sex ends with a orgasm
Myths about Sexuality

11. Misconceptions of
Sexual Function & Satisfaction
• Men want sex more than women
• Women care about intimacy more than men
• If you love your partner, sex will be wonderful
• My partner should know what I want
• Good sex is spontaneous
• Movies and TV portray sex as it really is
• Bigger is always better

12. Facts about Sexual Function
• Both women and men enjoy sex / intimacy
• Fulfilling sex often requires planning / effort
• Changes in function occur with life stress, aging,
illness, and many medications
• Lifestyle adaptations preserve sexual satisfaction
in many circumstances
Laumann EO, Paik A, Rosen RC. Sexual dysfunction in the United
States: prevalence and predictors. JAMA 1999;281:537-544.

13. • Internalize things – must have done
something wrong
• No longer attractive to their partner – own
self-perceived lack of attractiveness
• Accusations of affair/ adultery
What happens when there is
persistent ED

14. Line of questioning 
hurt 
feel attacked 
pull back 
He Says/ She Says

15. Line of questioning 
hurt 
feel attacked 
pull back 
He Says/ She Says
confirmation
more attacks
pull back

16. Line of questioning 
hurt 
feel attacked 
pull back 
He Says/ She Says
confirmation
more attacks
pull back
Communication Break-down

17. Relationship Problems
• Anger
• Poor Communication
• Criticism
• Neurotic Interactions
• Incompatible Sexual
fantasies
• Alcoholism & Sexual Abuse
• Phobic Avoidance of Sexual
Intercourse
• Unconscious Conflict about
Sex, Commitment, Pregnancy
• Sexual Abuse Issues

18. Psychosocial Issues
• Lifelong or acquired
• Symptom or situational
• Unresolved history of sexual abuse or trauma
• Body image/ Self-esteem issues
• Psychiatric history
• Stress, anxiety, sadness
• Relationship conflict
• Partner’s sexual dysfunction

19. 1.Get educated
2.Don't personalize it
3.Don't feel rejected
4.Be positive
5.Discuss things calmly
6.Discuss outside of the bedroom
7.Reassurance - treat your man as your best
friend
8.Encourage but don’t push
9.Continue being sexual - lots of different ways
to be sexual
10.Go with your guy to the doctor
11.Adopt a healthy lifestyle together
Suggestions of What to Do

21. We Don’t Ask Because Of…
• Personal embarrassment
• Lack of knowledge re: clinical relevance
• Ignorance re: who, when, how, or what to
ask
• Concern re: not knowing how to answer
questions
• Concern re: becoming
aroused/uncomfortable
• Concern re: appearing seductive/intrusive
• Uncertainty about legal issues
• Time constraints

22. Lack of Sexuality Education

23. We Can Make a Difference
By Talking about Sex

24. What is Your Approach?
• Sex-positive
• Non-judgemental
• Educational
• Client-centered
• Do no harm

25. Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Clinical Sexologist
Eros Coaching Pte Ltd
Website: www.eroscoaching.com
Email: drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com