Is this strategy document taking the piss? Or is this insight that is deeper than deep? Judge for yourself, kemo sabe.

1. How to Be Successful and
Beloved in Advertising.

2. Step One:
Get a job in advertising.

3. Step Two:
Be a scientist. Observe.
Take a look at what make things and
people rich and beloved.
Start with the real world.

4. Dating sites like OK Cupid have a lot
of data to crunch about what
people do to meet someone they
love (even for a night), as opposed
to what they say they think.
For example, OK Cupid users rate
can rate pictures of each other on a
5-point “attractiveness scale”.

5. This woman is rated a 3.4.
Lots of scores of 5s and 4s.

6. This woman is rated a 3.3.
Lots of 5s. But also lots of 1s, the
lowest score.

7. The women on the right gets
3 times more messages than the
woman on the left.

8. OK Cupid’s Insight:
“If someone doesn't think you're
hot, the next best thing for them to
think is that you're ugly.”

9. Insight:
Being beloved is easier if you’re a
not bland -- and people can see it.

10. (Before we move on, a tangent for all you single
people – men and ladies.)
OK Cupid has also analyzed what single question
is the MOST LIKELY INDICATOR that someone will
consider having sex on the first date.
And that question is:

11. “Do you like the taste of beer?”

12. People who like the
taste of beer –
regardless of
gender – are 80%
more likely to
consider having sex
on the first date.
Work THAT into a
Budweiser pitch
this year.

13. Moving on…

14. Holiday Observation:
What beloved figure does this sound like?
Big belly.
Extremely generous.
Laughing all the time.
Really seems to have his shit together.

15. Santa?

16. Santa? Or Buddha?

17. Insight:
Being know for happiness and easy-
going generosity can make you
beloved around the world.

18. What about the fake world of
advertising and marketing?

19. Observation:
This is the Super Bowl ad people
consider the best-ever. The product it
introduced was a miserable flop for
almost a year after it aired.

20. Conclusion:
Beloved -- But Not Successful

21. Observation:
The guy who got his soup at eye level
on this store shelf probably sold more
product than any Super Bowl ad ever.

22. Conclusion:
Successful -- But Not Beloved

23. Observation:
This is Steve Hayden – the guy who
wrote the “1984” Super Bowl ad.

24. Steve ran global creative for the IBM at
Ogilvy – NY from 1997 until this year.

25. He was well-known as one of the most
generous guys in advertising – from
collaborating to giving credit.

26. And Ogilvy has traditionally been known for
its weekly, in-building happy hours.

27. Insight:
Working hard, doing good work,
knowing your shit, and not being a dick
will go a long way to make you
successful and beloved – and regular
free drinks don’t hurt.

28. What final conclusion does that
bring us to?

29. Fat, drunk and stupidly happy is a
GREAT way to go through an advertising
life – and be successful and beloved
while doing it.

30. A final thought

31. Fake Buddha Quote #197:
“When you realize how perfect
everything is, you will tilt your head
back and laugh at the sky.”