You don’t need another self-help book! Thousands of authors have written about Leadership, Sales, Effectiveness, Management, Success and Happiness. Do you really think there is a secret just beyond our reach, one that the next best-selling book will reveal? The truth is that we’ve known the secrets for thousands of years. From Confucius to Madison, Augustine to Lincoln, Aquinas to Covey -- the great truth is that relationships of virtue matter most. Jeff Meacham provides a framework and practical examples for success in virtually any facet of life (e.g., work, family, community) by getting back to the basics… virtuous relationships.

1. Virtuous Relationships
A Framework
A Way Forward
A Challenge

2. Stop the Madness!

3. Point of View: Life
Happiness Significance Purpose Love
Success Meaning Good Life
…happen in RELATIONSHIP
Quality Relationships are…
RELATIONSHIPS OF VIRTUE
Live It
Learn It Practice It

4. Point of View: Work
Effectiveness Customers Make a Difference Balance
Enjoy Culture Leadership Roles Advancement
…happen in RELATIONSHIP
Quality Relationships are…
RELATIONSHIPS OF VIRTUE
Live It
Learn It Practice It

5. Credits
• Mine? Ha! • Bible
• Cardinal virtues • Historians
• Heavenly virtues • Founding fathers
• Philosophers • Alexandre Havard
• Theologians • Steven Covey
• Business gurus • Steven M.R. Covey
• Chuck Colson • Jim Collins
• Search Institute • Etc.

8. Humility

9. Humility
• Respect, Gentleness, Peace; ~ Recognition of Place ~
• How do you see the world? Your relationship with others?
• Heavenly virtues of Humility (Pursuit of Modesty), Patience (Pursuit of
Peace); Beatitude “Poor in Spirit”
• Acknowledge all of creation as sacred
• “All are equal under the law” (United Nations)
• Acknowledge imperfect nature (St. Augustine).
• A great leader: self-confidence, forgiveness, grace (Leo Hindery Jr.)
• If you want to test a man’s character,… (Abraham Lincoln)
• Recognize your place? Where it comes from!

10. Integrity

11. Integrity
• Honesty, Truth, Reason, Wisdom; ~ Living the Truth ~
• Is it the TRUTH?
• Reason = understand what is right and true and good
• Cardinal virtue of Prudence; Heavenly virtue of Chastity; Beatitude of
being “Pure in Heart”
• Pursuit of Knowledge, Wisdom, Ethics
• The holistic, integral self. No false self. Gandhi as example.
• Hypocrisy destroys trust, destroys relationships
• Transparency with Wisdom… Telling all is not always prudent!
• Confront reality, especially our own self-interest.
• Checks and balances (J. Madison)
• No “holes in the boat!”

12. Discipline

13. Discipline
• Habit, Focus, Self-control; ~ Mastery of Heart & Mind ~
• Cardinal, heavenly virtues of Temperance, Diligence; Beatitude of
Meekness
• We are creatures of desire… Must “reconcile your desires with the needs
of others”. (Confucius)
• "We are what we repeatedly do“ — Aristotle
• 5 moral precepts in Buddhism? Abstaining from immoral behavior
• Subject the passions to reason (St. Thomas Aquinas)
• Desire and Reason: “Reason bids us resist, while desire regards the
present… it does not see the future.” — Aristotle
• Boundaries and expectations, restraint for young people
• The only way to really effect change from today’s presentation!

14. Resolve

15. Resolve
• Will, Choice, Persistence, Courage, Steadfastness; ~ Staying the Course ~
• Virtue of Hope, Liberality (Free choice, Pursuit of Will)
• Must INVEST in relationships
• Love: Pursuit, Action Verb
• Consistent effort: “Baby steps”
• Covey “Be Proactive,” Collins “Flywheel”
• Niebuhr, “Courage to change the things I can”
• The difference between a successful person and others
… (V. Lombardi)

16. Compassion

17. Compassion
• Love, Caring, Justice, Understanding; ~ Living for Others ~
• Confucius (551 BC) = Golden Rule
• Generosity (Pursuit of Charity), Kindness (Pursuit of Love), Beatitude of
Mercy
• “Seek first to understand” (St. Francis, Covey)
• Critical aspect of child and family: having a caring adult in their life
• “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be
happy, practice compassion.” — Dalai Lama
• See the benefit: “A tree shall be known by its fruit” (Bible)
• Is it FAIR to all concerned? Is there mutual BENEFIT?
• Sales Success: “Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with
your ears...and your eyes and heart.” (Covey2)

18. Belief

19. Belief
• Faith, Confidence, Hope, Trust, Purpose; ~ Striving to Great Things ~
• Virtue of Hope, Beatitude of a “Hunger for Righteousness”
• Includes SELF: "Nothing is a greater impediment to being on good terms
with others than being ill at ease with yourself.“ — Balzac
• Positive identity for young people
• Will it build GOODWILL and better friendships?
• Jim Thome on Charlie Manuel: “He believed in me”

20. Framework
HUMILITY RESOLVE
Respect, Peace Choice, Persistence, Courage
~ Recognition of Place ~ ~ Staying the Course ~
INTEGRITY COMPASSION
Honesty, Truth, Wisdom Love, Caring, Understanding
~ Living the Truth ~ ~ Living for Others ~
DISCIPLINE BELIEF
Habit, Focus, Self-control Faith, Confidence, Hope, Trust
~ Mastery of Heart & Mind ~ ~ Striving to Great Things ~

21. A Way Forward
Belief
Resolve
Discipline
Compassion
Integrity
Humility

22. A Challenge
• Think of at least one relationship that you hope to
improve
• Contemplate which parts of the tree need attention
• Set a goal – with a deadline – for taking action
• Approach the other with Humility, Honesty,
Understanding
• Keep your commitment: Choose to Act. Focus and
Persist
Enjoy Your Relationships!