This document summarizes several theories for why relationships change and end, including the triangular theory of love, social exchange theory, the investment model of commitment, equity theory, and additional factors. It discusses key concepts such as satisfaction, commitment, alternatives, investments, rewards/costs, communication patterns, and perceptions of equity that can impact relationship stability and likelihood of breakup. Research studies are summarized that investigate how these concepts predict whether relationships last or end.

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Why Relationships
Change and End

2. +
Learning Outcome
 HR.1.D Analyse why relationships may change or end.

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Triangular Theory of Love
Sternberg (1988)

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Buunk (1998)
Communication and Happiness
 Express their feelings openly
and disclose their thoughts.
 Show affection and
understanding for each others’
feelings (empathy and
perspective taking)
 Show conflict-avoidance
 Demonstrate soothing
 Take part in destructive
communication.
Happy Couples Unhappy Couples

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Social Exchange Theory
Kelly & Thibaut (1959)
 We make cost-benefits that guide our behavior. (Economic
Thinking)
 A relationship will endure as long as it is profitable to both parties.
 Balance is needed for long-term success

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Investment Model of Commitment
 Extends on Social Exchange Theory to apply to
close relationships.
 Adds dimensions of satisfaction and commitment.
 Satisfaction: positivity of feelings or attraction to partner or the
relationship.
 Commitment: The tendency to maintain a relationship or feel
psychologically attached to it.
 Comparison to other possible relationships is key

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Key ideas of Investment Model
1. Satisfaction in a relationship depends on rewards,
costs, and the partner’s comparison to other possible
relationships.
2. Commitment: A relationship depends on
satisfaction, alternatives, & investment.
3. Commitment directly relates to whether a person
stays in a relationship.

8. Satisfaction
InvestmentAlternatives
Commitment

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Two Examples of the Investment
Model
 A dissatisfied partner stays in an abusive
relationship because they feel as though they are
lacking other options or are invested.
 A satisfied partner leaves a relationship because
they feel as though they have other options or are
not attached.
 Key idea: Commitment is the main factor in
maintaining relationships.

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Rusbult (1983)
 Aim: To investigate why relationships last and end.
 Method: Longitudinal study of 34 new college couples for 7
months.
 Broke participants into 3 categories: The Stayers, The
Abandoned, The Leavers.
 Findings: Stayers had high rewards, low costs, high
satisfaction, few alternatives, & high commitment over the
course of the study.
 Conclusions: Those ratings predict lasting relationships.

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Investment Model of Commitment
Rusbult
 Patterns of Accommodation (responding to a partner’s
negative behavior) are key to maintaining relationships.
 Constructive Accommodations: Discussing problems openly
and honestly, forgiving each other, and letting problems solve
naturally are key to maintaining relationships.

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Equity Theory
 The relationship must be perceived as
equal/balanced in order for relationships to last.
 Unhappiness comes from imbalanced
relationships.

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Hatfield (1979)
 Aim: To investigate how perceptions of equity impact
relationship satisfaction.
 Method: Interviewed over 2000 couples
 Findings/Conclusions:
 Under-benefitted partners were more likely to cheat.
 Greatly-Over or Greatly-Under benefitted partners were more
likely to think their relationships would not last.
 Equitable partners were more likely to think that their
relationship would last.

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Why Relationships End
Flora & Segrin (2003)
 Aim: To investigate possible factors that predict the break-up of
relationships.
 Method: A longitudinal series of interviews, self-reporting, and
questionnaires of 66 Young dating couples and 65 recently
married couples.

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Flora and Segrin et al. (2003)
 ¼ of couples broke up
 General concern with the time
spent together and common
interests.
 Men: Negative and positive feelings
had little impact.
 Women: The amount of negative
feelings correlated with the rate of
breaking-up.
 No Divorces
 Concern with both emotions and
shared interest.
 Men: More concerned with shared
interest and shared time. Some
emphasis on negative emotions
shown by their partner.
 Women: Satisfaction largely
dependent on the amount of
negative feelings of their partner.
Dating Couples Married Couples
Conclusion: Gender impacts the perception of a healthy
relationship.

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Additional Factors that
Impact the End of Relationships
 Women end relationships more than men (Gray and Silver
1990).
 Marriages between younger than average partners are
unstable (Duck 1988).
 Early parenthood and divorce are correlated (Pringle 1986).
 Marriages between partners from lower economic groups and
lower education levels tend to be unstable (Duck 1992).
 Having divorced parents increases divorce rates (Duck 1992).
 Marriage between partners who have had many sexual
partners before marriage are less likely to last (Duck 1992).

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UP Analysis: Carl and Ellie
 Watch the following clip from UP and explain how
the ideas from this standard explain their
relationship.
 What makes their relationship work? How do they use
communication? What accommodations do they make?
How/why does their relationship change? Why are they able
to make their relationship last?

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Discussion/Response Questions
 How might these theories relate to the happiness in arranged
and choice marriages?
 What role does communication have on the changes within a
relationship?
 What strengths and limitations exist within these theories?