This document discusses interdependence theory and its application to personal relationships. It contains the following key points: 1) Interdependence theory analyzes how people in relationships coordinate outcomes to maximize benefits for both partners, taking into account rewards, costs, comparisons to alternatives, and issues of fairness. 2) Relationships are most satisfying when rewards outweigh costs, outcomes meet or exceed expectations, and the relationship is perceived as fair. Commitment increases with satisfaction but people may stay in dissatisfying relationships due to investments, lack of alternatives, or moral commitments. 3) Self-disclosure, intimacy, power balances, conflict resolution styles, and accommodation versus neglect during dissatisfaction all impact relationship satisfaction and commitment over time according

1. Chapter 9
Personal Relationships

2. Personal Relationships
 Three basic characteristics
 Frequent interaction over a long period
of time
 Many different kinds of activities
 Strong mutual influence

3. Interdependence Theory
 Analyzes the exchange and
coordination of outcomes between
interdependent partners

4. Interdependence Theory
 A reward is anything a person gains
from an interaction
 Particular or universal, symbolic or
concrete
 Basic types of rewards:
Love Information
Money Goods
Status Services

5. Interdependence Theory
 A cost is any negative consequence
that occurs in an interaction or
relationship
 Time
 Energy
 Conflict
 Others’ Disapproval
 Opportunity Cost

6. Interdependence Theory
 Outcome = Rewards – Costs
 We evaluate outcomes with standards
 Profitability
 Comparison level
 Based on past experience
 Comparison level of alternatives
 Based on other currently available relationships

7. Interdependence Theory
 In relationships, we need to
coordinate outcomes to maximize
benefits to both partners
 Easier to do when partners are similar
 In case of conflicts of interest, partners
must negotiate a settlement
 Social norms and social roles help provide
solutions to some coordination problems

8. Interdependence Theory
 People are most content when they
perceive their relationships to be fair
 Rules for Fairness
 Equality Rule
 “To Each According to Need”
 Equity Rule: profits proportional to inputs
 P’s outcome
= O’s outcome
P’s contributions O’s contributions

9. Interdependence Theory
 Basic Assumptions of Equity theory
 Individuals try to maximize their outcomes in a
relationship.
 Rewards can be maximized by evolving rules or
norms about fairness.
 Perceived inequity fosters distress.
 For both the under-benefited and the over-benefited
 People who perceive inequity will try to restore
equity.
 Either actual or perceived equity may be restored.

10. Interdependence Theory
 Research on Equity Theory
 Concerns with fairness may be highest
at the beginning of a relationship, and in
a long-term relationship when it
encounters stressful changes
 Equity is less important to happiness
than the absolute level of rewards

11. Interdependence Theory
Exchange Relationships
People give benefits
expecting a return of
benefits soon after
Strangers & Casual
Acquaintances
Clark & Mills (1979)
Communal Relationships
People feel responsible for
meeting their partner’s
needs
Family, Friends, Romantic
Partners
Including other in self
means that benefiting
partner benefits self too

12. Self-Disclosure
 Self-disclosure is a special type of
conversation in which we share
intimate information and feelings
with another person.

13. Self-Disclosure
 Reasons we disclose
 Social Approval
 Relationship Development
 Self-Expression
 Self-Clarification
 Social Control

14. Self-Disclosure
 Liking
 Self-Disclosure
 In general, we most like people whose self-
disclosure is reciprocal and gradual.
 The impact of self-disclosure on liking
depends on the nature of the relationship.
 E.g., an intimate self-disclosure by one’s roommate may
be received very differently than an intimate self-
disclosure by a random stranger in a lecture hall.

15. Self-Disclosure
 Self-disclosure also entails risks:
 Indifference
 Rejection
 Loss of Control
 Betrayal
 Because of the risks of self-
disclosure, we sometimes conceal our
deepest feelings and keep secrets

16. Self-Disclosure
 Self-disclosure varies by culture and by
gender
 E.g., Japanese are less self-disclosing than
Americans across relationships
 Women reveal somewhat more than men,
particularly in same-sex relationships in the
U.S.
 Men may be more revealing in same-sex
relationships in cultures that encourage this

17. Intimacy
 Intimacy results not just from self-
disclosure, but when self-disclosure
evokes a response that makes a
person feel understood, validated,
and care for.

18. Gender and Intimacy
 Men and women do not define
intimacy differently.
 However, men experience less
intimacy than women in their same-
sex interactions (there are no
difference in cross-sex interactions)
 Cultural norms may explain this.

19. The Balance of Power
 Social power = a person’s ability to
influence deliberately the behavior,
thoughts, or feelings of another.
 In some relationships, power is balanced,
in others, one person has more power
than the other.

20. The Balance of Power
 Heterosexual couples in the U.S.:
 Equal power 64%
 Male-dominant 27%
 Female-dominant 9%
Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983
 Equal power can mean shared or “separate
but equal” decision-making
 Consensus between partners is generally
the key to happiness
 However, female-dominant relationships are less
satisfying

21. The Balance of Power
 Three things determine whether a
relationship is equal in power:
 Social Norms and Attitudes
 Relative Resources
 Especially if the one with greater resources is a man
 The Principle of Least Interest
 The person who is least dependent on the relationship
has the most power (Waller, 1938)

22. Conflict
 The process that occurs when the
actions of one person interfere with
the actions of another
 The potential for conflict increases as
interdependence increases

23. Conflict
 Three types of problems
 specific behaviors
 norms and roles
 personal dispositions

24. Conflict
 Conflict can help or hurt a relationship,
depending on how it is resolved.
 On the one hand, it can lead to defensiveness,
withdrawal, even threats and violence.
 On the other, it can provide opportunity for
clarification of agreements, to discover their
depth of feeling for each other, and renew
efforts to create a satisfying relationship.

25. Satisfaction & Commitment
 Satisfaction = an individual’s subjective
evaluation of the quality of a relationship.
Better when:
 Rewards > Costs
 Outcome > C.L.
 Happy couples spend more time in joint
activities, use more humor, engage in more
affectionate touching, and in less criticism,
hostility, & arguing

26. Satisfaction & Commitment
 Commitment = all the forces, positive &
negative, that act to keep a person in a
relationship.
 Increased by
 Satisfaction
 Values & morals
 Barriers that make it costly to leave
 Investments
 Decreased by
 C.L. alt (available alternatives)

27. Satisfaction & Commitment
 Generally, there is a close relationship
between satisfaction & commitment
 However, sometimes couples stay together
despite low satisfaction. Why?
 Higher investments
 Lack of alternatives
 Moral commitments
 Low feelings of personal control

28. Satisfaction & Commitment
 Factors that help in understanding
commitment in heterosexual
relationships are generally useful in
understanding homosexual
relationships as well.
 The major difference is fewer barriers to
breaking up for homosexual relationships.

29. Satisfaction & Commitment
 Factors that increase commitment:
 Positive Illusions about Relationships
 Misremembering the Past
 Forgoing Tempting Alternative Partners
 Explaining a Partner’s Behavior in a
charitable fashion
 Willingness to Sacrifice
 Accommodation & Forgiveness

30. Satisfaction & Commitment
 Reactions to Dissatisfaction:
 Voice
 Loyalty
 Neglect
 Exit
 Rusbult, 1987