This document summarizes the key points from a parenting skills workshop consisting of 6 sessions. The summary covers: 1) The workshop aimed to increase parenting confidence, strengthen parent-child relationships, teach discipline skills, and help children develop emotional security and self-esteem. 2) Session topics included the goals of parenting, temperament, attachment, meeting children's emotional needs, play, listening skills, parenting styles, discipline, safety, and building strong family relationships. 3) Effective discipline was discussed as training children through loving limits, consistency, and age-appropriate boundaries, rather than punishment. The importance of meeting children's physical, emotional and security needs was also emphasized.

2. SESSION ONE
What being
a parent’s
really like!

3. GROUPAGREEMENT
What ground rules do we
want in this group to help
it run smoothly?

4. TIME OUT FOR PARENTSAIMS TO:
• increase your confidence in your skills and ability
as a parent
• help make the relationship between you and your
child even better than it is now
• teach skills to help you children be more
emotionally secure and raise their self esteem

5. TIME OUT FOR PARENTSAIMS TO:
• work out the best way to effectively discipline
your child
• give you tools to help you in your relationship
with your child’s other parent/carer
• provide you with greater support where you
would like it

6. SESSION PLAN
• The goal of parenting
• Expectations and realities of parenting
• Temperament and its impact on behaviour

7. THE GOAL OF
PARENTING
To raise
adults who can
cope in the
outside world

8. THE ROLLER
COASTER OF
PARENTING!

9. OUR EXPERIENCES OF
BECOMING APARENT
Think about any:
• Surprises
• Disappointments
• Hopes
• Joys
of being a parent so far

10. BREAK

11. TEMPERAMENT
What is temperament?
The traits, or characteristics you
were born with that influence
how you behave.

12. THREE DIFFERENT TEMPERAMENT TYPES
Easy/flexible
(‘I can’)
Difficult/active
(‘I won’t’)
Slow to warm
up/cautious
(‘I can’t’)

13. How can Adam’s
parents help him
as he makes the
move to nursery?
How could an
understanding of
temperament help
Susie’s mum?

14. REFLECTION
• Introductions
• Made a group agreement
• Aims of the course
• The goal of parenting
• Expectations and realities of parenting
• Temperament and its impact on behaviour

15. FOCUS FOR THE WEEK
• What was your child’s temperament like as
a baby?
• How would you describe him or her now?
• What do you enjoy about your child?
• What do you find challenging about your child?
• What changes have you made to the way you
act with your child now you know about
temperament?

16. NEXT WEEK
We will be
looking at
the children's
needs

17. SESSION 2
Children’s
needs

18. SESSION PLAN
• Attachment and how to develop a
good relationship with your child
• Developing emotional security
• The Five Love Languages
• Emotional bank account

19. THE GOAL OF PARENTING
To raise adults who can…
• function in the outside world
• cope with the knocks of life
and bounce back
• make good relationships
And are the sort of people
we’d like to spend time with!

20. What are
children’s
needs?

21. ATTACHMENT
“Attachment is a deep
and enduring emotional
bond that connects one
person to another across
time and space.”
Ainsworth 1973 and Bowlby 1969

22. WEALLHAVE CERTAIN NEEDS
PHYSICAL NEEDS
Food, air, sleep etc
ESTEEM NEEDS
Feel good about themselves
SOCIAL NEEDS
Feel loved, close relationships
SAFETY AND SECURITY NEEDS
Safe environment

23. CHILDREN’S NEEDS
ESTEEM
NEEDS
SOCIAL
NEEDS
SAFETY AND
SECURITY
NEEDS
PHYSICAL
NEEDS

24. KEYS TO ENCOURAGING
ATTACHMENT
• Make yourself available.
• Be attentive to your child’s cues.
• Respond quickly and appropriately.
• Be warm, positive and caring.
• Follow your child’s lead and co-operate with them
on how they play and interact.
• Avoid over stimulating your child as you interact.

25. BREAK

26. MEETING CHILDREN’S
EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Attention
Acceptance
Appreciation
Encouragement
Love and affection
Respect
Support
Comfort
Approval
Security

27. CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW
THEYARE LOVED
“In modern society, raising emotionally
healthy children is an increasingly difficult
task … If children feel genuinely loved by
their parents, they will be more responsive to
parental guidance in all areas of their lives”
G Chapman and R Campbell
The Five Love Languages of Children

28. THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
Physical touch
(Touch)
Words of affirmation
(Words)

29. Quality time
(Time)
Receiving gifts
(Gifts)
THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

30. THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
Acts of service (Actions)

31. EMOTIONAL
BANKACCOUNT

32. REFLECTION
• Reviewed take home activity
• Attachment and how to develop a good
relationship with your child
• Meeting our child’s emotional needs
• The Five Love Languages
• Emotional bank account

33. FOCUS FOR THE WEEK
Emotional needs
• Pick one or two emotional needs that you will actively try
to meet for your child this week.
• Identify specific ways you can try to meet this need.
Love languages
• Think about what your primary love language might be.
• How does this affect how you give/show love to your child?
• Think of ways you can demonstrate love for each of the 5
love languages and see if you can do them this week for
your child.

34. NEXT WEEK
We will be
looking at
play and
listening

35. SESSION 3
Play and
listening

36. SESSION PLAN
• The importance of play
• How to support play
• Listening and expressing feelings
• Words that build up
• Recognising children’s feelings
• Active listening

37. THE IMPORTANCE
OF PLAY
Play is a vital part
of a child’s
development
and growth

38. WHAT CAN WE DO TO PLAY
WITH OUR CHILDREN?
• Ideas for play for babies up to
12 months old…
• Ideas for play for toddlers
1-2 years old…
• Ideas for play for children
2-4 years old…

39. BREAK

40. THE POWER OF WORDS
“Sticks and stones may
break my bones, but words
will never hurt me.”

41. HOW TO RECOGNISE
CHILDREN’S FEELINGS
Children often ACT OUT their feelings
because they can’t put them into words
Being able to put
yourself in your child’s
shoes helps you to
understand your
child’s behaviour

42. HELPING YOUR CHILD
EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS
“I am convinced that life is 10%
what happens to me and 90% of
how I react to it.”
Charles R Swindoll

43. REFLECTION
• Reviewed take home task
• The importance of play
• How to support play
• Listening and expressing feelings
• Words that build up
• Recognising children’s feelings
• Active listening

44. FOCUS FOR THE WEEK
• Play – actively play with your child
• Listening – describe a moment you
actively listened to your child
• Time together – take the time to read
your child a story of their choice

45. NEXT WEEK
We will be
looking at
parenting styles
and setting
boundaries

46. SESSION 4
Parenting
styles and
boundaries

47. SESSION PLAN
• What is discipline?
• Setting loving limits
• Parenting styles
• Keys to positive parenting

48. DISCIPLINE –
WHAT IS IT?

49. SETTING
LOVING LIMITS

50. WHYARE BOUNDARIES
IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN?
Because they…
• teach children to respect others and their
property
• teach children self-control
• teach children about acceptable limits
• teach children how to be responsible adults
• give children security
• keep children safe

51. WHATAGE/WHAT BOUNDARY?
What boundary would you have
for your age group:
• Bedtime
• Mealtimes
• Television watching
• Playing outside

52. SETTING BOUNDARIES
If we don’t,
someone else will...

53. LOVING DISCIPLINE ISN’T…
• Shouting and yelling
• Dominating and controlling
• Criticising and putting down
• Hitting
• Being inconsistent
• Being cold or detached

54. LOVING DISCIPLINE IS…
• Training
• Leading by example
• Consistent
• Age appropriate

55. BREAK

56. TWO SIDES
TO PARENTING
The Child and The Parent

57. THEREARE 3 DIFFERENT
RECOGNISED STYLES
OF PARENTING
• Authoritarian
• Permissive
• Authoritative/assertive

58. AUTHORITARIAN

59. PERMISSIVE

60. AUTHORITATIVE/
ASSERTIVE

61. • Can you plot yourself on the line?
• Do you want to make any changes?
• Do you think there are times when you use
different styles of parenting to your ‘usual’ style?

62. KEYS TO POSITIVE PARENTING
• Expectations and house rules
• Routines
• Consistency
• One-to-one fun time
• Communication
• Giving choices

63. REFLECTION
• Reviewed take home tasks
• What discipline means
• Setting loving limits
• Two sides of parenting
• Parenting styles
• Keys to positive parenting

64. FOCUS FOR THE WEEK
Parenting styles – think about your own
‘main’ style of parenting and whether there
are changes you want to make. Write down
your reflections.
Try and give your child some choices this
week.
Keys to positive parenting – focus on one
this week and write down things you try.

65. NEXT WEEK
We will be
looking at
discipline
and safety

66. SESSION 5
Discipline
and safety

67. SESSION PLAN
• Disciplining your child
• Why do children misbehave?
• Keeping children safe

68. YOUR DISCIPLINE TOOLKIT

69. ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOUR
Star chart/sticker chart

70. ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOUR
Rewards

71. ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOUR
Praise and overheard praise

72. ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOUR
Counting 1, 2, 3

73. DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Removal

74. DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Distraction

75. DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Planned ignoring

76. DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Time out

77. DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Taking away privileges

78. DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Giving choices and consequences

79. There are laws in the UK covering the
use of physical punishment on children
DISCOURAGING BAD BEHAVIOUR
Smacking

80. MAKE UP
AFTERWARDS

81. BREAK

82. WHY CHILDREN MISBEHAVE
• Child’s behaviour relates to how they
are feeling
• Children ‘act out’ their feelings
• They may be tired, hungry or anxious
• They want more attention or love

83. Stop Think Act

84. HANDLING CHALLENGING
BEHAVIOUR

85. KEYS TO MANAGING BEHAVIOUR
• Action not anger!
• Try to keep a sense of humour
• Keep a united front
• Try to think what might be
triggering the behaviour

86. KEEPING CHILDREN SAFE

87. REFLECTION
• Reviewed take home activity
• Strategies for dealing with behaviour
• Why children might misbehave
• Keeping children safe

88. FOCUS FOR THE WEEK
• Think of a specific discipline issue that you
would like to deal with this week.
• How are you going to deal with it?
• What strategy are you going to use?
• Write down a short account of what
happened, what you did, what the outcome
was and how you felt about it, or think about
it ready to discuss next week.

89. NEXT WEEK
We will be
looking at
the wider
family

90. SESSION 6
The wider
family

91. SESSION PLAN
• Importance of time for you
• Importance of communication
• Handling conflict
• Family vision and traditions
• Family vision statement

92. IMPORTANCE OF
TIME FOR YOU
On a plane parents
put on their own
oxygen mask before
helping their child

93. EMOTIONAL
BANKACCOUNT

94. IMPORTANCE OF
COMMUNICATION

95. “I” MESSAGES
• When you…
• I feel…
• Because…
• Would you…

96. HANDLING CONFLICT
STOP BAD HABITS
S – scoring points
T – thinking the worst
O – opting out
P – putting down

97. STOP SCORING POINTS
• Apologise, deal with the issue and
don’t allow things to get out of control.
• Swallow your pride and put your
relationship first.

98. STOP THINKING THE WORST
• Make sure your conclusions are fair.
• Ask questions.
• Check your assumptions. You may
be pleasantly surprised.

99. STOP OPTING OUT
• Say you’re feeling under pressure but
keep talking.
• Let the other person know you care.
• You could ask for time out and suggest
another time when you can give your
full attention.

100. STOP PUTTING DOWN
• Recognise your bad attitude.
• Look for the good things your
partner/child does and
compliment them.

101. PRINCIPLES FOR
HANDLING CONFLICT
• Pick your battles and be prepared to
compromise
• Don’t pick up on everything
• Ask yourself ‘why is this such a big deal
for me?’
• Do we need to lower our expectations to
become more realistic?

102. BREAK

103. FAMILY TRADITIONS
Traditions are a valuable way to create
strong, lasting memories and to create a
connected family.
Do you have any memories of family
traditions? Some can be very simple and
not cost much.

104. FAMILY VISION STATEMENT
Families are important and valuable. We need to do
all we can to keep them strong, stable and loving.
Writing a family vision statement is a good way of
working out what is important to you as a family and
how you might keep your identity as a family.
Suggestion for structure:
We will…
We won’t…
We hope that…

105. FAMILY VISION STATEMENT
We will… be polite
We won’t… shout at each other
We hope that… our family will be
friendly and loving

106. REFLECTION
• Reviewed focus for the week activity
• Importance of time for you
• Importance of communication
• Ways of handling conflict
• Family traditions
• Family vision statement

107. FINALTHOUGHTS
• What have you enjoyed most about the
course?
• What is the main thing you learnt from
the course?
• Name one hope that you have for your
family’s future

108. THANK YOU
FOR COMING
www.careforthefamily.org.uk