This document discusses parenting challenges in the digital world. It notes that 78% of teens now have cell phones, nearly half being smartphones, and one in four teens are "cell-mostly" internet users. Issues raised include "slut shaming", appropriate cell phone use, profanity/inflammatory speech, pornography, and photo sharing on social media. It provides a top ten list of parenting moments in the digital world, including setting reasonable boundaries with children, understanding that rules may need to change, considering the permanence of online posts, monitoring expensive devices, modeling good digital behavior, continuing digital education, remembering other technologies like Fotomat exposed private photos, determining what media kids consume, and being willing to say "no" despite

1. Parenting in the
Digital World
Holly Gerla
Sam Harris
Emily McMason 29 April 2013

2. What's new in 2013?
•
o Pew Internet and American Life Project
• “Slut Shaming”
• Facebook pros and cons
o danah boyd: Is Facebook Destroying the American
College Experience?

3. Cell Phone Use By Teens
"One in four teens are “cell-mostly” internet
users, who say they mostly go online using
their phone and not using some other device
such as a desktop or laptop computer."
"78% of teens now have a cell phone, and
almost half (47%) of them own smartphones."
"23% of teens have a tablet computer, a level
comparable to the general adult population."

4. Slut Shaming
• "...using photos and videos to turn a girl's private life
inside out." (NPR Story)
• "...the UnSlut project reminds us that technology is not
to blame for sexual shaming—our culture is. - Slate.com
• teaching kids about consent
more resources on our
Gender/Social Health
board

5. Facebook Pros and Cons
"Facebook is not itself the problem. The issue stems from
how youth use Facebook and the desire that many youth
have to focus on building connections to people that
think like they do. ”
- danah boyd, "Is Facebook Destroying the American College Experience?"
"...millions of users of these networks have supplanted their
profile pictures with that symbol to display their support
and hope that the Justices will rule in favor of marriage
equality."
- "Painting the Internet Pink." The New Yorker, 27 Mar. 2013

6. Issues/Concerns Raised in our
Community
general cell phone manners
o when is it okay to be on your phone?
o when is it not?
profanity and inflammatory speech
o what does your language say about you?
o when it goes viral and other consequences
o what does a 'like' say about you?
pornography
o why are kids looking at it?
o what are they learning from it?
photo sharing: Instagram, Snapchat, etc.

7. What do we
really mean
when we ask our
kids to stop and
think about
something
before they act?

8. A Top Ten...
List of Parenting Moments in
a Digital World

9. ...with your children. Ask them what they think
are reasonable boundaries. You might be
pleasantly surprised. Working with them
creates buy-in and a sense of joint purpose.
Once the rules are set, put them in writing.
1. Draw a line in the sand...
and then sign a pre-nup.

10. 2. Be wishy-washy.
It’s okay to change your mind. To try a set of rules and then change them. Explaining to your child
why the change is happening lets them know we all learn and adapt with new information.

11. 3. Play Your Top 40.
Over and over again. Remind kids that whatever they put out into the ether is there…forever. Even if
you hit ‘delete’, it isn’t gone. Have them envision 40 people: consider how their grandparents,
their teachers, the girl they have a crush on, the dean of admissions to the college of their
dreams, their potential employers, never mind their parents, are going to react when they see
your post.

12. 4. The Price is Right
A $400 pencil? An $800 bracelet? Would you
worry about these items getting lost,
damaged or stolen?

13. 5. On the Catwalk
Model it. Work it. Show your kids that the rules
are livable. By everyone in the family.

14. 6. Fly like an Eagle
Even when you want to be an ostrich. It is
tempting to put our heads in the sand and
say that kids are digital natives and are fine.
Kids are also vehicular natives. Can you
imagine giving your keys to an 11 year old?

15. 7. Remember Fotomat?
Where teenage employees saw your pictures
even though you were the one with the
camera? The same is true today. If your child
doesn’t have a device, that doesn’t mean
they aren’t aware, viewing, or participating in
digital behaviors that may be questionable.

16. 8. Missing Persons
In the hours our kids are consuming media
content, what aren’t they doing?

17. 9. HDL or LDL?
Are your kids playing Minecraft or Halo 4? Are
they watching Cinderella or Brave?

18. 10. Parent, party of one.
Don’t be afraid to stand up to the pressure of
your kids and your own peers and say ‘no’.

19. Q and A
What else is on your mind?