This document discusses how social media and technology have changed parenting in the digital age. It notes that most teens and many children now have smartphones and social media accounts. Some parents closely monitor their children's online activities, while others are more hesitant due to privacy concerns. Experts argue that constant monitoring can damage trust and prevent children from learning self-regulation. They recommend open communication about appropriate online behavior and gradually providing more independence as children demonstrate responsibility. The conclusion is that finding the right balance between oversight and privacy is difficult but important for healthy child development in today's digitally connected world.

1. Policing or
Parenting?
How Social Media Surveillance
Has Changed Parenting As We
Know It
Photo: Matt Popovich 2016 via Unsplash By Charlotte Smith

2. It’s no secret that the
Digital Age is changing our
lives. In 2015 it was found
that:
Photo: João Silas 2016 via Unsplash
-68% of U.S. adults owned a smartphone [1]
-45% of U.S. adults own a tablet [1]
-Facebook had more than 1.4 billion users
[2]
-65% of those were daily users [2]

3. And adults aren’t the only
ones.
Photo: Elijah Henderson 2015 via Unsplash
-92% of teens report going online daily [3]
-24% report going online “constantly” [3]
-Nearly ¾ of teens have or have access to a smartphone [3]
-Facebook had 9.8 million users aged 13-17 in 2014 [4]
-75% of teens aged 13-17 have at least
one social media account [8] So much of life is now spent
online, so how do parents cope?

4. Some parents are diving in
headfirst:
“Children leave a digital trail, and you
feel like a negligent parent if you're not
monitoring.” [5]
Photo: Thomas Lefebvre, 2014 via Unsplash

5. While others are more hesitant:
“All the boundaries have broken down. Facebook is constantly sending alerts of what
they're up to: liking and commenting and posting and sharing, like squirrels pecking
away. But when their mothers are reading, it's way too much information.” [5]
Photo: Luke Chesser, 2013 via Unsplash

6. Photo: Carlos Martinez, 2014 via Unsplash
Schools have begun to realize the demand for
programs that help parents understand and
adapt to their children’s digital lives.
MediaSmarts, a Canadian digital literacy organization, is one
of many that work in co-operation with schools across the
country to deliver social media workshops to both students
and their parents.
“We believe that active parental involvement is
essential to raising ‘media smart’ children and
teens.” [7]

7. Photo: Todd Quackenbush, 2014 via Unsplash
Some companies have begun to see the possibility in parents’ struggle with
technology: companies such as Uknow and Webroot Software Inc. provide tools
for parents to monitor and control their children’s online activities.
These tools
include:
GPS
tracking
Scanning the web
for more profiles
Reviewing any/all
posts, captions,
comments, replies,
etc.
Info on
when their
phone is
being used
Viewing what
sites they visit
Flagging risky
posts, people, activities
Translating
slang and text-lingo
[9]

8. Photo: Gili Benita, 2014 via Unsplash
Many experts warn, however,
that this Big Brother stance can
often cause children and their
parents to experience
a D I V I D E
‘Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at Common
Sense Media, says parents need to recognize
that kids "believe that their phones are sacred
and private." To her, parents who try to
intrude on that are setting up a "parent versus
kid situation, even for good kids who are not
doing anything wrong.“’ [10]

9. The
Issues
Photo: Seabass Creatives, 2016 via Unsplash

10. Photo: Sylwia Bartyzel, 2014 via Unsplash
The Breakdown
of Privacy
Where once, years ago, children’s
private lives would be left on the
streets, they are now in their
hands. This accessibility is
enticing to many parents, but is
problematic.
Jen Nessel, a communications
coordinator for The Center for
Constitutional Rights in New
York says, "I think we're in a very
different world now where it is
possible to surveil our children
constantly, which doesn't mean
that we should. There's ways in
which we want to keep our
children safe, of course, but at the
same time we have to respect
them as whole human beings
who deserve privacy.“ [10]
Just as parents may hold secrets
from their children, so too may
children.

11. Photo: Edan Cohen, 2014 via Unsplash
‘Most parents recognize the hypocrisy in their
roving curiosity. ''When I was a 15-year-old
seminarian in Chicago, I was sneaking into gay
bars, which were not nice places back then,'' Mr.
Savage said. ''If I'd had that on my Instagram
and e-mails, my parents would have murdered
me.'‘’ [5]

12. Photo: Jay Wennington, 2014 via Unsplash
The Trust
Factor
Trust between children and their parents is
massively important. Without trust no truthful or
meaningful dialogue can happen, and relationships
can fall apart. Children need to know their parents
trust them in order to return the favour.
Constantly monitoring and digging
through your child’s online life can
come across as untrusting and
underhanded, no matter the good
intentions.

13. When Jen ‘Nessel's mom was a girl, she'd
been horrified that her mother insisted
on reading her diary; "She was very clear
she would never do that with me and I
would never do that with my child
either," Nessel recalled.’ [10]
Photo: Dariusz Sankowski, 2016 via Unsplash

14. Photo: Jacob Walti, 2014 via Unsplash
Self
Regulatio
n
A huge part of growing up is learning
balance. Balancing work and play, family
and friends, relationship and
responsibility. And these are things that
have to be taught through experience.
So how do kids learn balance online if they are
not left to experience it themselves?

15. Photo: David Marcu, 2014 via Unsplash
“kids need to be
free to make their
own mistakes”[10]

16. The
Expert
Advice
Photo: Ben Rosett, 2015 via Unsokash

17. Photo: Varshesh Joshi, 2016 via Unsplash
Caroline Knorr ‘urges parents to discuss
boundaries and appropriate online
behavior with their children and to
"parent around the device" by "doling out
features sparingly" when the phone is
new. She suggests opening up more
features as the child demonstrates the
ability to "follow the rules and meet
expectations and understand
consequences.”’ [10]

18. In
Conclusion
Photo: Zara Walker, 2016 via Unsplash

19. “The concept of online privacy is a
difficult one — even governments
are still debating it and trying to pin
it down, and it’s no different when
it’s in the home.” [11]
Photo: Ronda Darby, 2015 via Unsplash
Growing up is the most difficult thing for both children and their
parents. For kids, it is a whole realm of possibilities that steadily draws
back the curtain on their adulthood, and for their parents it is the loss
of the innocent and youthful joy that their children carried with them.
Understanding how to both encourage and escort them through their
transition is, as it always has been, a difficult balance. The digital age
has made the issue more complex, and walking the fine line between
parent and police will be a precarious position for all.
But don’t lose your child,
in an effort to find them.

20. Cited:
• [1] Anderson, Monica. "Technology Device Ownership: 2015." Pew Research Center Internet Science Tech RSS. 29 Oct. 2015.
Web. 01 June 2016.
• [2] "Facebook Passes 1.44B Monthly Active Users and 1.25B Mobile Users; 65% Are Now Daily users." VentureBeat. 22 Apr.
2015. Web. 01 June 2016.
• [3] Lenhart, Amanda. "Teens, Social Media & Technology Overview 2015." Pew Research Center Internet Science Tech RSS. 09
Apr. 2015. Web. 01 June 2016.
• [4] "Company Info | Facebook Newsroom." Facebook Newsroom. Web. 01 June 2016.
• [5] Paul, Pamela. "Cyberparenting and the Risk of T.M.I." New York Times 5 May 2013: 8(L). Academic OneFile. Web. 3 June 2016.
• [6] "Company Profile." About Webroot. Web. 02 June 2016.
• [7] "Our Mission & Beliefs." MediaSmarts. Web. 02 June 2016.
• [8] "Social Media, Social Life: How Teens View Their Digital Lives | Common Sense Media." Social Media, Social Life: How Teens
View Their Digital Lives | Common Sense Media. 26 June 2012. Web. 02 June 2016.
• [9] "Digital Parenting Tools: Social, Location and Mobile Monitoring -." Digital Parenting Tools Social Location and Mobile
Monitoring. Web. 2 June 2016.
• [10] Augenbraun, Eliene. "Should Parents Snoop on Their Kids Online?" CBSNews. CBS Interactive, 16 Sept. 2014. Web. 02 June
2016.
• [11] Ingram, Mathew. "Snooping on Your Kids: If the NSA’s Tools Were Available, I Probably Would Have Used Them." Gigaom.
07 Aug. 2013. Web. 02 June 2016.