Marosy Porter & Healy - When it’s Not Just a Personality Conflict

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ASSOCIATION FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION (ACR)
“When It’s Not Just a Personality Conflict:
Effective Interventions into Workplace Bullying”
Thursday, October 9, 2014 from 3:30-5:00 pm
Presented by Melissa Marosy, Pattie Porter and Debra Healy
Resources
Articles
Conflict Motivations and Tactics or Targets, Bystanders and Bullies (Lutgen-Sandvik, Pamela and
Fletcher, Courtney Vail; 2013) http://www.sagepub.com/upm-data/54202_Chapter_13.pdf
Mediating Bullying Complaints: Taking an occupational health and safety approach (Moira Jenkins)
http://www.aboto.com.au/mediating-bullying-complaints
Winners Who Become Losers: Abrasive Leaders (Crawshaw, Laura; 2013)
http://www.bosswhispering.com/Winners-Who-Become_Losers-Chapter.pdf
Workplace bullying: To mediate or not? (McLay, Leah; 2009)
http://epublications.bond.edu.au/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1456&context=adr
Books
Crawshaw, Laura (2007). Taming the Abrasive Manager: How to End Unnecessary Roughness in the
Workplace. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Einarsen, S, Hoel, H., Zapf, D., Cooper, C. (Eds.). (2011). Bullying and Harassment in the Workplace:
Developments in Theory, Research, and Practice. Boca Raton, Fla.: Taylor & Francis Group, LLC.
Tehrani, Noreen (Editor) (2012). Workplace Bullying: Symptoms and Solutions. New York, NY:
Routledge.
Organizations
International Association of Workplace Bullying and Harassment http://www.iawbh.org/
The Boss Whispering Institute http://www.bosswhispering.com/
Workplace Bullying Institute
http://www.workplacebullying.org/

2. Policy or Code of Practice
Preventing and Responding to Workplace Bullying Code of Practice (Draft) (July 2013). Safe Work
Australia.
http://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/sites/swa/model-whs-laws/public-comment/pages/whs-cop-bullying-
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Videos
Taming the Abrasive Manager
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nskusBSxxA
What Killed Kevin?
http://whatkilledkevin.com/
Website Sources
Our Bully Pulpit
Articles, resources, videos and your stories about workplace bullying
http://bullyinworkplace.com/

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Workplace Bullying: Do You Recognize It When You See It?
When It’s Not Just a Personality Conflict:
Effective Interventions into Workplace Bullying
October 9, 2014
3:30 – 5:00 p.m.
You spread out the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle without a picture to guide you as to what
the completed puzzle should look like. What factors do you consider as you attempt to fit the
pieces together?
A crime is committed in the middle of the day on a busy city street. The police arrive,
secure the scene and begin interviewing witnesses. The witnesses’ descriptions of the incident
vary and even contradict each other. How do we decide “what happened”?
In each of these scenarios, there is a combination of known, unknown and/or possibly
conflicting information. How do we piece together what we know (or think we know) to create a
complete picture? How do we determine what we don’t know and whether we need more
information? If we need additional information, where and how will we obtain it?
Psychiatrist Carl Jung opined that when our minds are active, we alternate between two
functions: 1) taking in information and 2) making decisions about what that information means.
However, between taking information in and making decisions about it, another activity
occurs: we make inferences and assumptions. These inferences and assumptions derive from
a myriad of sources including our life experiences, personality type, values, beliefs and needs.
Information we obtain from others is also likely to be based on inferences and assumptions. If
the information doesn’t support our understandings, we may reflect and reconsider our
conclusion, or we may reactively disregard any unsupportive information.
Eventually, and in many cases very quickly, we determine “the facts” of a situation by
gathering information and relying on inferences and assumptions to fill in any gaps. We qualify
these facts as reality - and respond or react accordingly. In her book The Search for Signs of
Intelligent Life in the Universe, author Jane Wagner wrote “Reality is nothing but a collective
hunch.” Just a humorous thought or is there some truth in it?
Consider this scenario:
A co-worker confides in you and describes an upsetting situation regarding his
supervisor, Mary. The co-worker says: “I just can’t take Mary’s disrespectful and demeaning
treatment any longer. I think she’s trying to sabotage my career with this organization. I’m not
sleeping and I’m having health issues. My doctor says they are related to on-the-job stress.
What should I do?”

4. What factors may determine your reaction? Your position in the workplace hierarchy?
Whether you personally know, or have any history with the employees involved? Do you
indicate belief/disbelief of the employee’s description of the incident? Do you offer support or
give advice? Do you deflect the issue believing “There are always two sides to every story”?
Do you call for an in-depth investigation of the situation based on the company’s zero-tolerance
harassment policy?
If you saw signs of workplace bullying, would you recognize them? What would you do?
At this year’s ACR Conference, we’ll be examining the variety of ways destructive
interpersonal behavior presents in the workplace. We’ll consider the spectrum of interventions
and their effectiveness. We’ll also provide information about an approach to workplace bullying
that may be new to you, a highly effective model known as “Boss Whispering.”
In an interactive format, we’ll consider a number of scenarios, determine whether they
constitute workplace bullying and guide you through the decision-making process to address
these situations productively. Our collective experience with abrasive behavior in both the
public and private sectors will assist you in recognizing workplace bullying and making decisions
regarding how to approach it effectively.
Pattie Porter, LCSW, AAP is the Founder and Owner of Conflict Connections®, Inc. and The
Texas Conflict Coach® radio show. A full-time conflict management practitioner since 1994,
she provides a spectrum of conflict intervention services to government agencies, private
businesses and universities. She is working towards her accreditation through the Boss
Whispering® Institute and is a senior trainer and coach-mentor of the CINERGY® Conflict
Coaching model. Pattie teaches conflict management coaching as an adjunct professor at
Southern Methodist University’s Graduate Dispute Resolution Program. Finally, she is the
author of the MiniBük® Stop the Dreaded Drama: 55 Tips for Ending Destructive Conflict
(2014).
Melissa Marosy, PhD, is the Executive Officer of Creative Conflict Resolution, a USDA-Forest
Service Enterprise Unit, operating as an intrapreneur within the federal government since 1998.
She is a full-time professional mediator, facilitator, and coach specializing in conflict prevention
and resolution in the workplace. She is a certified transformative mediator and an accredited
Boss Whisperer®.
Debra Healy, MS, owner of agree2agree – Healy Conflict Management Services, is a conflict
consultant in the area of workplace and organizational conflict. She provides conflict
assessments and integrative interventions including mediation, facilitation and coaching to
eliminate destructive workplace conflict. Debra has a master’s degree in Conflict
Management/Dispute Resolution and a bachelor’s degree in Legal Studies, giving her a unique
understanding of conflict and its impact on interpersonal workplace relations and successful
organizational functioning. Debra is also an accredited Boss Whisperer®.
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