The document emphasizes the importance of effective communication skills in the workplace, highlighting active listening, conflict management, and the effective use of questions. It discusses the challenges posed by emotions in communication and provides tips for improving interpersonal interactions, including managing misconceptions with email. The document also suggests resources for enhancing communication and suggests an action plan for implementing these strategies.

1. LISTEN MORE, WORRY LESS
Camille Stell
Director of Client Services
Lawyers Mutual

2. AGENDA
• Develop “active listening” skills to tune in to
coworkers and cultivate productive relationships
• Use communication skills to build a team
approach that motivates others and facilitates
change
• Use questions to open thinking
• Discuss effective methods of managing conflict

3. ADVANTAGES OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Increase productivity
• Better understand what others are saying
• Better understand how to get your message
across
• Enhance relationships
• Reduce work place stress
• Save time and money

4. WHAT IS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION?
• Is ease in communication a given?: Talking is easy. True communication
is an exchange with another and this requires greater skill.
Communication demands that we listen and speak skillfully, not just talk
mindlessly.
• Challenges to effective communication: Interacting with fearful, angry,
or frustrated people (whether our clients, our peers, or our bosses) can
be difficult, because we're less skillful when caught up in such emotions.
• Proven Success: Don't resign yourself to a lifetime of miscommunication
at work because of these challenges. Tips for success follow.
• Result: Good communicators can be taught as well as born.

5. YOUR ROLE AS COMMUNICATOR
• Tone of voice
• Body language
• Key words
• Style of speech

6. THE POWER OF LISTENING
• Prepare to listen - eliminate distractions
• Set aside listening time
• Concentrate on what others are saying
• Use non-verbal signs to show you are listening, nod in
agreement, maintain eye contact, lean in to show support
• Avoid interruptions
• Avoid making your decision while others are speaking
• Avoid forming your argument while others are speaking
• Avoid getting defensive
• Avoid prejudice towards the message
• Practice paraphrasing “is this what you mean?”
• “Listen” for feelings
• Ask questions
• Establish eye contact (appropriately)

7. ACTIVE LISTENING CAN…
• reduce threat
• clarify the speaker’s point of view
• build trust

8. USE ACTIVE LISTENING WHEN…
• the other person becomes angry or
agitated
• there are arguments
• you need a catalyst for dialogue

9. ASKING VS. TELLING
• Telling is parental
• It breaks down rapport and creates a feeling
of being pressured or pushed
• Asking elicits thought and suggests a
credible, thinking adult
• It builds relationships and shows you care
enough to show respect

10. THE POWER OF QUESTIONS
Why ask questions:
• Questions demand answers
• Questions stimulate thinking
• Questions provide valuable information
• Questions allow you to start the dialogue
• Questions get people to open up
• Questions lead to effective listening
Helpful questions to ask:
• Can you clarify that?
• What specific results are you looking for?
• What do you want to accomplish?
• What are your priorities?
• How can I help?

11. NONVERBAL CUES
Visual
• Facial, eye contact, the
body, personal appearance
Vocal cues
• Volume, pitch, rate, tone, pauses
Spatial
• Personal, social, public

12. TO IMPROVE YOUR PERCEPTION
• Keep openness and skepticism
balanced
• Listen and ask for feedback
• Become an observer
• Convey feelings as well as content
• Be flexible

13. THE POWER OF YOUR WORDS
• Follow through on your promises and commitments
• Manage conflict
• Respond rather than react
• Provide feedback and ask for feedback
• Keep your team up-to-date
• Deliver bad news when necessary

14. LOST IN TRANSLATION – EMAIL
Email has become our primary form of communication.
Email makes it harder to build rapport - people hide behind e-mail.
Until now, most complaints have focused e-mail overload or embarrassment
when sending to the wrong people. However, new research indicates that
over-reliance on e-mail can degrade an organization's interpersonal
communications. If it's not used properly, instead of making your company
quicker and more efficient, too much text-based communicating can work in
the reverse. One study by UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian
found that 55% of meaning in an interaction comes from facial and body
language, 38% comes from vocal inflection, and only 7% of an interaction's
meaning is derived from the words themselves. Yet, I’m sure all of you have
been offended or have offended others by your email “tone”.

15. EMAIL TIPS
• Avoid communicating anything sensitive, important, or
complicated in email.
• Refrain from combining multiple themes and requests in
a single e-mail, make sure the e-mail subject line clearly
reflects both the topic and urgency of the message.
• Do not overburden colleagues with unnecessary e-mail,
especially one word replies such as "Thanks!" or
"Great!" and use "reply to all" only when absolutely
necessary.

16. SURVEY SAYS . . .
• Lack of Communication
• Ability to air grievances without repercussions
• Understand the role of paralegal (helps with dealing with
issues related to them – billable hours, certification, CLE
requirements, team assignments)
• Administrators balance many different things – can any
work be shared during down times with staff not as busy
• Communicate changes in firm such as hirings, firings, lay-
offs, office moves, insurance, salaries, as well as procedural
changes – balance with confidentiality
• Technology (or lack of) and equipment issues
• Clear expectations - evaluation process and job
descriptions
• Involve staff through staff
meetings, committees, discussions

17. MANAGE CONFLICT THROUGH
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Recognize that disagreements may result from different
perceptions
• Recognize when someone disagrees with you, they are not
inept
• Discover the cause for the differing viewpoints
• Understand the other person’s “frame of reference”
• Recognize your own bias
• Take into account your own emotions
• Take into account other’s emotions and biases
• Discuss observable behavior and performance
• Use concrete words vs. abstract words
• Use examples to enhance meaning

18. MANAGE CONFLICT THROUGH
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
• Avoid jumping to conclusions
• Investigate the facts before making a conclusion
• Ask yourself, “Fact or inference?” about any
statement
• Be wary of generalizations
• Ask yourself the specifics of your generalizations
• Ask others to do the same
• Avoid the “know-it-all” attitude. Check authenticity
of second-hand accounts
• Be aware of problems arising from:
 Bias
 Personal Motivations
 Emotional Style

19. BUILD A TEAM: ESTABLISH COMMON GOALS
• Think about the other person and his/her goals
• Build the bridge from the other side
• If you don’t know, ask. Then listen and sincerely
care
• Help by asking questions to clarify their goals
• Solve problems together

20. ACTION PLAN
• What are you going to take action on?
• List specific behaviors
• Be as systematic as possible
• Break difficult behavior into several smaller
behaviors
• Repeat specific behavior until mastered
• Measure and evaluate
• Keep records (preferably visual)
• Use visual reminders (pictures, charts, etc.)
• Remember: ("A small goal is enough!")

21. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
• Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B.
Cialdini, Ph.D.
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by
Ron McMillan, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, and Al Switzer. Sign
up for email newsletter at www.vitalsmarts.com.
• We Got Fired by Harvey Mackey
• Famous Failures by Joey Green
• Tough Choices: A Memoir by Carly Fiorina
• Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath
• 250 Job Interview Questions by Peter Veruki

22. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
• NCBA Member Services - whitney@ncbar.org or call
1-800-662-7407 or 919-657-1554
• BarCARES Plus – Anne Arbert, Program Manager
800.640.0735 (mental health counseling and career
counseling)
• LinkedIn.com
• Martindale-Hubbell Connected
• Monster.com

23. CONTACT INFORMATION
Camille Stell
Director of Client Services
Lawyers Mutual Liability Insurance Company Of North Carolina
P.O. Box 1929, Cary, NC 27512-1929
Tele: 919.677.8900 | 800.662.8843
camille@lawyersmutualnc.com
www.lawyersmutualnc.com
Follow us on Twitter: @LawyersMutualNC, @CamilleStell,
@MarkScruggsEsq, @ WarrenSavage1 and @Troy_Crawford