Book Review of " How to Listen by Oscar Trimboli

1. Oscar Trimboli
Book Review by
Balachandhiran Sankaran

2. About the Author: Oscar Trimboli
 Author of Books
 Deep Listening – Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to
Confront Assumptions
 How to Listen – Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication – the
most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace,
 Host of the Apple award-winning podcast “Deep
Listening”
 Sought-after keynote speaker
 Along with the “Deep Listening Ambassador
Community”, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep
listeners in the workplace
 Marketing and technology industry veteran working for
Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He
consults with organizations including American Express,
AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC,
Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens

3. Review:
“When Oscar Trimboli has something to
say about listening, listen. He’s the best in
the world.”
Michael Bungay Stanier, bestselling
author of The Coaching Habit and How to
Begin

4. Book Contents
 Chapter 1: Why listen?
 Chapter 2 & 3 : Level 1 – Yourself: Get Ready to listen & Give and Pay
Attention
 Chapter 4: Level 2 – Content: Hear, See and Sense
 Chapter 5 & 6 : Level 3 – Context: Explore the Backstory & Notice How
It Is Said
 Chapter 7: Level 4 – Unsaid: Focus on What Is Unsaid
 Chapter 8: Level 5 – Meaning: Listen for Their Meaning

5. Are we ready to
Listen?!

6. Listening is a skill, a strategy, and
a practice – a way to balance how
you communicate

7. Why Listen?

8. Establish and Nurture Relationships
Engaged Employees
Successful Products and Organizations
Happy Customers
Healthy Community
The more senior you are in an
organization, the more your
listening matters!!

9. Listening is the
willingness to have
your mind changed.

10. We each think we are much
better listeners than other
people are. Not just much better,
but actually six times better!!

11. Deep Listening Research Data
 Rate yourself as a “Listener” perspective:
74.9% of people rated themselves either well above average or
above average listeners
 Rate yourself as a “Speaker” perspective:
12% of people rated the person listening to them above average
or well above average.
Self-awareness bias!!

12. Five Levels of Listening

13. Level of Listening - Yourself

15. Listening is
a state of mind

16. Listening commences before we arrive at the discussion
so
Prepare by “Tuning”
because
It is always an act of curiosity and care

17. You will get
Distracted!!

18. Anticipate distractions
Internal:
Allowing the subconscious time to process makes
listening light and liberating rather than draining
External:
Switching off Electronic devices and Quiet
environment
The deeper you breathe, the
deeper you listen!

19. Listening is about being present
and open to many possibilities

20. How well do you notice
whether you listen for
similarities or for differences?

23. Paying versus Giving attention
Paying attention: Well known situations
Giving attention: Emerging or emergency situation

24. Listening is very difficult because
we use working memory when you
listen to a conversation.
Working memory can actually only
perform one task at a time.

25. Attention is the gateway to working memory
But,
Our mind is waiting for the speaker – and
while it’s waiting, it’s anticipating what they
might say next
Why?

26. Deep Listening Research Data
Talking Speed – 125 words per minute
Listening Speed – 400 words per minute
Thinking Speed – 900 words per minute

27. We are all fast listeners!
125/400 Rule
While the speaker is speaking between 125 to
150 words per minute, we can listen to 400
words per minute!

28. Level of Listening - Content

29.  Hear – Listening with our body and
mind
 See – Facial expression and body
language
 Sense – the emotion present during
the discussion

30. Distinct ways of communication:
Stories
 Statistics
Mismatched preferences between the
speaker’s preferred style and listeners will
accelerate how quickly we drift away

31. Paraphrasing is reflection, not
interpretation
It is an opportunity to increase shared
comprehension

32. Body Language:
Notice the disconnect between what they
say and how their face looks

33. Sense the emotions:
 Notice the shift in emotions
Emotions bring energy to a conversation. We can
use their power to create something compelling

34. Level of Listening - Context

35. Something powerful and transformation
happens when a speaker says the entire
story out loud from the beginning from
the idea’s inception
The backstory is the critical link

36. Adjectives are signposts for teams and
systems
Pronouns are useful shortcuts to
understanding the speaker’s orientation : self,
other, system
Time – Past, Present, Future
The way of expressions
• Positive or negative
• Absolute or relative

37. Levels of Listening - Unsaid

38. Their complete thoughts are not in
their first explanation
What else? Or Who else? Or And
Treat Silence like a complete word
The curiosity to pause and ensure
shared understanding

39. Levels of Listening - Meaning

40. The speaker creates their meaning
when they link the past and the
future. It’s our role as a listener to
help create this connection

41. When we listen for meaning, opposing ideas
and views can coexist and cooperate. This is
the essence of Deep Listening:
Impact beyond words

43. Good Listeners: Listen to make sense of what’s said
Great Listeners: Help the speaker make sense of what
they’re thinking.
Shifting the orientation
from
“How does this make sense for me?”
to “
“How does this make sense for them?”

45. Listening is a will.. It
starts with humility!!

46. Additional Listening Resources:
https://www.oscartrimboli.com/recommended-
listening-resources/
https://www.oscartrimboli.com/listeningquiz/
https://www.oscartrimboli.com/90days/
Join the Deep Listening Ambassadors Community
The Apple-award winning podcast Deep Listening