Good Grief and
Facilitative leadership
Welcome!
Esther Matte

CULTUREcon 2014

Boston, MA
Losing someone…
or something…
• Grief can also happen at work

• Small changes, big changes: both
initiate a grief process

• Dealing with grief is mostly an
individual process

• In an organization, it influences
interactions and productivity

• When conscious of the grief
process, people can help each
other

• Grief cycle is a healing cycle
MISS!
• The worst change I
experienced in an organization.

• Imposed

• Not explained

• No influence, no autonomy

• What made it happen: H2H

• Conversation 

• Connection
Adapted from Elizabeth
Kubler-Ross, Harrison Owen
and Genuine Contact™
Program 

Grief cycle
Agile News : 

Shock, Anger
« Why?

Urghhh!?! This is stupid and
unnecessary! 

What’s going to happen to me? »

!
Help : Clear explanation of why; not a
good stage for training.
Denial
« It’ll pass - just be patient. Let’s keep
doing our job. Not much will change. »

!
Help : Talk a lot about the change,
clarify it’s pertinence, reassure but avoid
talking about only positive aspects:
recognize difficulty and effort needed
Memories

« Hmm… 

Do you remember when…? 

We did a great job on that one! »

!
Help : Listen, recognize and
honour the past, DO NOT accuse
people to be resistant to change
Acceptance
« Things change. I want to know
more about this. How is this
going to work? »
Letting go

« My expertise can probably still be valuable
and helpful.

!
Will others help me? Will I have time to learn
and adapt? How long will it take before I feel
expert again? »

!
Help : Ask for feedback, express gratitude,
recognize expertise, involve people in
something positive
Openness
« I wonder how we can make this
work well or better than before… » 

!
Help : Invite people to share
experiences and learn together,
invite energy to create and
innovate
Reframing
« Lots of possibilities and opportunities to
grow! »

!
« Let’s try this… »

!
« I wonder if we can make it even better? »

!
Help: Celebrate!
Open Space Technology is a great tool!

It creates space for grief work AND for 

figuring out how to become agile in your organization.

WARNING: It is a cycle. If you try to skip a step, it’ll get you later!
My Verchères-Manhattan-Bromont story
Listen with
curiosity and
compassion…
!
Have clear info
and good
conversations…
!
Give it time…
!
Create space for
a common
vision…
Adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Harrison
Owen and Genuine Contact™ Program
Questions? Comments?
About Esther Matte, organizational coach and
trainer in collaborative methodologies
• Independent consultant for 20 years
• Started in strategic communications, moved to facilitating collective
work in the context of change and transformation
• Works and teaches mobilization and development of teams,
organizations, communities
• How I work:
• Use collective intelligence
• Generate openness, authenticity and responsibility
About Ev Lagüe, Illlustrator
!
Ev	
  Laguë	
  
Illustratrice	
  /	
  illustrator	
  
-­‐	
  evlague.tumblr.com	
  -­‐	
  
-­‐	
  cargocollec0ve.com/evlague	
  -­‐	
  

	
  ☎	
  	
  	
  	
  1	
  450	
  779-­‐5535	
  
@	
  	
  	
  evlague	
  (at)	
  outlook	
  (dot)	
  com	
  
18
Thank you!

Good grief: Facilitative leadership in Agile transformation initiatives

  • 1.
    Good Grief and Facilitativeleadership Welcome! Esther Matte
 CULTUREcon 2014
 Boston, MA
  • 2.
    Losing someone… or something… •Grief can also happen at work • Small changes, big changes: both initiate a grief process • Dealing with grief is mostly an individual process • In an organization, it influences interactions and productivity • When conscious of the grief process, people can help each other • Grief cycle is a healing cycle
  • 3.
    MISS! • The worstchange I experienced in an organization. • Imposed • Not explained • No influence, no autonomy
 • What made it happen: H2H • Conversation • Connection
  • 4.
    Adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross,Harrison Owen and Genuine Contact™ Program 
 Grief cycle
  • 5.
    Agile News :
 Shock, Anger « Why? Urghhh!?! This is stupid and unnecessary!  What’s going to happen to me? » ! Help : Clear explanation of why; not a good stage for training.
  • 6.
    Denial « It’ll pass -just be patient. Let’s keep doing our job. Not much will change. » ! Help : Talk a lot about the change, clarify it’s pertinence, reassure but avoid talking about only positive aspects: recognize difficulty and effort needed
  • 7.
    Memories
 « Hmm… Do youremember when…? We did a great job on that one! » ! Help : Listen, recognize and honour the past, DO NOT accuse people to be resistant to change
  • 8.
    Acceptance « Things change. Iwant to know more about this. How is this going to work? »
  • 9.
    Letting go
 « My expertisecan probably still be valuable and helpful. ! Will others help me? Will I have time to learn and adapt? How long will it take before I feel expert again? » ! Help : Ask for feedback, express gratitude, recognize expertise, involve people in something positive
  • 10.
    Openness « I wonder howwe can make this work well or better than before… » ! Help : Invite people to share experiences and learn together, invite energy to create and innovate
  • 11.
    Reframing « Lots of possibilitiesand opportunities to grow! » ! « Let’s try this… » ! « I wonder if we can make it even better? » ! Help: Celebrate!
  • 12.
    Open Space Technologyis a great tool! It creates space for grief work AND for 
 figuring out how to become agile in your organization.

  • 13.
    WARNING: It isa cycle. If you try to skip a step, it’ll get you later! My Verchères-Manhattan-Bromont story
  • 14.
    Listen with curiosity and compassion… ! Haveclear info and good conversations… ! Give it time… ! Create space for a common vision… Adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Harrison Owen and Genuine Contact™ Program
  • 15.
  • 16.
    About Esther Matte,organizational coach and trainer in collaborative methodologies • Independent consultant for 20 years • Started in strategic communications, moved to facilitating collective work in the context of change and transformation • Works and teaches mobilization and development of teams, organizations, communities • How I work: • Use collective intelligence • Generate openness, authenticity and responsibility
  • 17.
    About Ev Lagüe,Illlustrator ! Ev  Laguë   Illustratrice  /  illustrator   -­‐  evlague.tumblr.com  -­‐   -­‐  cargocollec0ve.com/evlague  -­‐  
  ☎        1  450  779-­‐5535   @      evlague  (at)  outlook  (dot)  com  
  • 18.