Bullying affects all of us, whether we are perpetrating, receiving, or standing by bullying. Understand the difference between conflict and bullying, how bullying mirrors societal injustices, and how we can transform from bystanders to allies so that we can help create safe schools. Practicing inclusion in schools will help us create a more just world as we leave schools.

1. Bystander to Ally:
Changing Yourself to Change the World
Gilman School Middle School Students
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

3. Agenda

Conflict versus Bullying

Why Should You Care?

Practicing for the Real Thing

Bystander to Ally

Questions

Resources
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

4. The Big Deal About Bullying
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

5. Definition of Conflict
 A clash between two
individuals or groups
 A disagreement or
argument about
something important
 Others?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. When It’s Bullying
 Power is uneven
 Intent to harm
 Repeated and
sustained
 Efforts to hide from
adults
 Advocacy not
changing behaviors
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

7. Why Should You Care?
 Health and Safety
 Psychological Pain
 Academic Risk
 Explosive Release
 Long-Term Scars
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

8. Bullying Hurts Everyone
 Targets
 Agents
 Bystanders
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Repeating Cycles –
Agents, Targets,
Bystanders
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

10. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

11. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

12. Put Downs and Isms
“That’s so gay!” ----- heterosexism
“You’re so ghetto.” ----- classism and racism
“That’s retarded.” ----- abelism
“Don’t be such a b**ch.” ----- sexism
“Your name’s weird.” ----- ethnocentrism
“That’s so lame.” ----- abelism
“Sissy” ----- sexism, heterosexism
“Trailer trash!” ----- classism and racism
“Did you forget to take your meds?” ---- ableism
“Your food stinks!” ----- ethnocentrism
“Crybaby!” ----- adultism and sexism
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

13. Becoming the Adults
We Want to Be
Adolescent Brain Development
Peer Pressure
Backstage and Frontstage Spaces
Path of Least Resistance
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

14. An Ally Is…
“a person who is a member of the dominant or
majority group who works to end oppression in
his or her personal and professional life
through support of, and as an advocate with
and for, the oppressed population”
Washington and Evans, Becoming an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

15. An Ally Is…
“Someone who doesn’t have to stand up for
someone else, who might even lose something
if they do, but they do it anyway because they
know it’s the right thing to do”
Anna, 6th Grader
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

16. Bystander to Ally
Agent
Active
Bystander
Passive
Passive
Ally
Active
Karen Bradberry, PhD
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

17. Ally Skills
 Don’t exclude, hurt, or bully
 Speak up when someone else is being bullied
 Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that
assumption make you silent
 Ask questions to clarify and to educate
 Don’t make the person who is bullying into
someone who is getting targeted
 Actively include those who are easily left out
 If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an
adult at school or at home
 Keep the climate healthy
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

18. Relationship Based Interruption
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

19. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

20. I change myself,
I change the world.
-Gloria Anzaldua
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

21. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

22. Identity Resources
• Carlos H. Arce, “A Reconsideration of Chicano Culture
and Identity”
• Atkinson, Morten, & Sue, “Racial/Cultural Identity
Development Model (R/CID)”
• Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, “Socioemotional
Development for Girls”
• Vivienne Cass, “Homosexual identity formation: Testing a
theoretical model”
• William Cross, Shades of Black: Diversity in African
American Identity”
• Anthony D’Augelli, “ Identity development and sexual
orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual development”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

23. Identity Resources
• Erik Erikson, “Eight Stages of Man”
• J. E. Helms, Various Publications on Racial and Ethnic
Identity Development
• Jean Kim, “Processes of Asian American Identity
Development”
• James Maricia, “Four Ego and Identity Statuses”
• Suzanne Kobasa Ouellette, “The Three C’s of Hardiness”
• Jean S. Phinney, “Ethnic Identity in Adolescents and
Adults: Review of the Research”
• Ponterotto & Pederso, Preventing Prejudice
• Maria P. P. Root, Various Works on Multiracial Identity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

24. Identity Resources
• Patricia Romney, Karlene Ferron, and Jennifer Hill,
“Measuring the Success of Diversity Directors in
Independent Schools”
• Pedro Ruiz, “Latino/a Identity Development Model”
• Chalmer E. Thompson and Robert T. Carter, Racial
Identity Theory
• Alex Wilson, “How We Find Ourselves: Identity
Development and Two Spirit People”
• Christine J. Yeh, “The Collectivistic Nature of Identity
Development Among Asian-American College
Students”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

25. Miscellaneous Resources
• Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, “Privilege and
Power,” Summer Diversity Institute, National Association
of Independent Schools, 2009
• Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education
Network) www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference
• Johnnie McKinley, “Leveling the Playing Field and Raising
African American Students’ Achievement in Twenty-nine
Urban Classrooms,” New Horizons for Learning,
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/
mckinley.htm
Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)