Learn how we can instill positive self identity in our children and coach them to be positive influences on others' identities.  We adults have a natural instinct to protect our children from harsh realities and yet prepare them to navigate this complex world - is it possible to do both? What are ways to talk about identity, difference, and justice in age appropriate ways? How do you reinforce family and school values without shutting down perspectives? How do you facilitate authentic and respectful dialogue across difference? Engage in these questions and more through this interactive session. Together, we can co-create inclusive communities that work toward success for all.

1. Gill St. Bernard’s School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Talking to Young People
About Sensitive, Complicated, and Heated Topics
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

3. Agenda
 Courageous Conversations
 Hard Topics
 How to Talk to Youth
 How to Facilitate Conversations
 Questions and Answers
 Resources
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

4. Courageous Conversations
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

5. Hard Topics in General
 Race
 Gender
 Class
 Religion
 Politics
 Sex
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Current Realities
 Political Polarization
 #MeToo, Time’s Up, Etc.
 Gun Violence
 Immigration, DACA, Etc.
 Black Lives Matter
 Climate Change and Denial
 And More…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

7. Young People’s Experience
 Increase in Anti-Group Sentiment
 Increased Uncivil Discourse
 Rise in Sadness, Fear, and Anxiety
 Increased Acting Out
 And More…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

8. Developmentally Appropriate
Approaches and Talks
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Early Awareness of Difference
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Age Signs
6 months Can discern racial feature differences
3 years Awareness of own and others’ gender.
Beginning awareness of gender roles
5 years Desire to categorize – self, others
Curiosity about meaning of differences
Aware of biases
7 years Can regulate biases versus behaviors
Starting to parrot adult messages
3rd grade Are aware of societal stereotypes
cross group play can increase
5th grade Have internalized stereotypical messages
cross group play can decrease

10. When They’re Little
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Theme: Trying to Understand the World
 Curiosity based questions about difference
 Find out what they’re actually asking
 Find out why they’re asking
 Answer their questions straightforwardly
 Model and coach humility, delight, and
curiosity about difference
 Be mindful of children’s media – it’s not
always good for kids

11. In the Middle Years
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Theme: Who Am I? How Do I Have Power?
 “Friendship Extinction Event”
 Identity search through grouping
 Good and bad cliques
 Open their horizons about identity
 Be steady through their rollercoaster
 Coach more, teach less

12. In the Later Years
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Theme: My Future Place in the World
 Gender and sexuality stereotypes
 Power play through social status
 The role of inclusivity in their college,
professional, and personal lives
 Charging them to “practice for the real thing”
 Define values and boundaries, then accept
that they will push
 Be their consultant

13. Talking With Your Kids
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
 Be explicit about your values
 Be open about your own
struggles
 Don’t stay silent
 100 1-Minute Conversations
 Relationship Based
Interruption

14. How to Talk to Young People
About Current Events
 What have you heard?
 How do you feel?
 What questions do you have?
 How can I support you?
 Here are our values.
 What positive action can you take?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

15. How to Talk to Young People
About Hate and Extremism
 Prepare Yourself
 Be Alert
 Listen
 Reassure
 Be Honest
 Share Your Values
 Take Action
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

16. How to Talk to Young People After
Personal Incidents
 “I want to help you feel strong.”
 Affection, correction, protection
 Emotions are always right; not all
action is always right
 Avoid either/or thinking
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

17. Helping Young People Talk to One Another
 Create Safety and Courage
 Express Feelings
 Generate Questions
 Share Facts
 Learn More
 Complicate Thinking
 Take Action
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

18. Sharing the Challenges,
Sharing the Wisdom
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
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19. Sharing the Challenges,
Sharing the Wisdom
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
 A challenge we couldn’t strategize well
around was…
 A great approach we discussed was…
 I have a question about…
 What if…

20. Questions and Comments
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

21. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)