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In this webinar, Sandy Magaña, PhD, Professor of Disability and Human Development at the University of Illinois at Chicago, will discuss:
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How has the meaning of friendship changed with the huge advancements in technology and social media? This presentation looks deeper into this idea and some of the dangers associated with it.
This presentation is born out of my own experience of despair after a bicycle accident few years back.
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Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed creating it.
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Friendship for ever.pptx
1. Types of Friends
And
Social Media
On the front of this unit in the packet, write at
least 3 qualities you think a “good” friend
should have.
2. Friends
• Friends are:
– Trusted companions
– People you can share your joys and
frustrations with
– People who believe in you
3. Types of Friendships
Acquaintances
– People you recognize, but don’t really
know.
– These are people you say “Hello” to in the
hall, but you don’t make a point to see
them socially. They can be classmates you
recognize, friends of friends, neighbors
who live in your area, people who ride the
same bus as you, etc.
– Peers are usually acquaintances.
• A group with a commonality
• Usually your same age
• Shares common interests
4. Types of Friendships
Casual Friends
– People you share a common interest with
like school or activities.
– It’s someone you’re assigned to work with
on a science project, someone who is on
the soccer team with you, attends your
church, etc.
5. Types of Friendships
Close Friends
– Friends you hang out with and
share some emotions/personal
experiences with.
– These are friends you hang out
with, go to the movies with, whose
homes you visit and who you invite
into your home. You share your
feelings, thoughts and ambitions
and can argue and express
different opinions without being
afraid of ruining the friendship.
6. Types of Friendships
Intimate Friends
– Friends you have had for a long period of
time with whom there is a deep sharing of
emotions and personal experiences.
– These friends have the freedom to tell you
the truth, no matter how it may affect you.
They know all about you and you know all
about them. Intimate friends don’t just
appear in our lives, but develop through
the other stages of friendship.
7. Friendships
• Friends can be peers and peers can be
friends. BUT…friends are not always peers
and peers are not always friends.
• Friendships are the foundation for love and
commitment.
• Friends need to develop a good RAPPORT:
(Understanding each other in a close
relationship).
8. Friendships
• Next to parents, friends have the greatest
influence on your behavior.
• Choosing your friends is one of the MOST
critical decisions you will ever make!
• Remember, friends are role models. Who are
you allowing to affect your behavior? What
kind of friend are you going to be?
9. Needs that Friends Meet:
– Disclosure: someone to talk to and
confide in.
– Feedback: someone to help analyze what
your situations and feelings are.
– Empathy: someone to care about you
– Trust: someone who keeps things
confidential
– Social Interest: someone to go places with
11. Friendship and YOU
• What are the qualities you look for in a good friend?
• When does an acquaintance become a “friend”?
• Do your friendships typically develop quickly or
slowly? Why is this?
• What are some of the difficulties in becoming friends
with someone you don’t know very well?
• What are some behaviors you expect from your
friends?
• What are some behaviors you would not tolerate in
terms of friendship?
• How does one’s ability to listen and communicate
impact friendship development?
12. Friendship Tips
• Choose steady friends who like you for
who you are, not inconsistent ones who
like you for what you have.
• Make as many friends as you can, but
never center your life on them.
• Stop trying to be “popular”. Just be
yourself, be nice to everyone, and good
things will follow.
13. Friendship Tips
• Be quick to forgive your friends faults,
just as you hope they’ll forgive yours.
• If people are gossiping about you or
you’re being bullied, confront the bully or
find a way to live above it.
• When it comes to friendships, stop
competing or comparing and start
thinking “win-win.”
• Remember, you and your friends may
change and pursue different interests
and that’s okay.
14. How to be a GOOD friend
• Listen to each other
• Don’t put each other down or
hurt each other’s feelings
• Try to understand each
other’s feelings and moods
• Help each other solve
problems
• Give each other compliments
• Disagree without hurting each
other
15. How to be a GOOD friend
• Be dependable
• Respect each other
• Be trustworthy
• Give each other room for
change
• Care about each other
• Keep promises and
confidences
16. Making and Being a Friend
• Be Slow to Judge
– Try not to judge others based on
first appearance or first
impression. Go outside your
comfort zone and get to know
new people. There is always
more to a person than you think.
“Strangers are just friends
waiting to happen.”
17. Making and Being a Friend
• Make the Effort
– Sometimes you have to be
proactive and make the effort
first. Don’t just wait for friends
to come to you.
18. Making and Being a Friend
• Look for Chances to Build
Relationships
– Don’t forget the small stuff
matters. Find ways to make
relationships stronger: do small
acts of kindness, say you’re sorry,
be loyal, keep promises, listen,
etc.
19. Making and Being a Friend
• Make Yourself More Likable
– You can’t make people like you.
But, you can make yourself more
likable. Become aware of your
weaknesses and try to improve
upon them.
20. Making and Being a Friend
• Be Inclusive
– Don’t be afraid to allow new
people into your “group”. You
never know what you could be
missing out on.
21. Making and Being a Friend
• Treat Unkindness with Kindness
– It’s easy to be nice to people who
are nice to you. The challenge is
being nice to the mean people.
But, it goes a long way in
changing behavior.
22. Making and Being a Friend
• Lift Others
– Are you the negative friend who
brings others down? Or, the
positive friend lifting others up?
Who do you want to be?
23. Listening
• Being a good friend means being a good listener.
Here is a review of active listening skills:
– Listen with more than just your ears. Your body
language should also communicate real interest.
– Give verbal clues that show you are listening closely
to what your friend is saying.
– Do not interrupt.
– Don’t shift the attention from your friend’s problem
to one of your own.
24. Listening
More listening tips:
– Do not spend too much time planning your
next response that you don’t hear what is
being said.
– Try not to let your emotions get in the way of
hearing.
– Don’t rush the conversation.
– Don’t try to solve the problem. Just be there
as a support. Your friend needs to find the
solution on their own.
26. What is a Toxic Friend?
•Unsupportive
• Takes, Takes, & Takes
•Stifling
•Gives Nothing Back
•Unreliable
•Overly Demanding
27. Warning Signs of a Toxic Friend
They talk about
everyone…EVEN YOU!
• Her neighbor is stupid. Your cousins are fat. His
coworkers are nosey. And did you hear about
who Stacy was hanging out with last night?
• Here’s a clue, if your friend gossips about
everyone don’t think for one moment that they
aren’t gossiping about you!
28. Their “world” is
always worse than
yours.
•Drama, drama, drama!!!
•You mention how you were late to an important meeting
because you forgot to fill up the tank, and you had to stop and
get gas.
•Toxic friend tells you, “That’s nothing! This one time I was late
to work because my boyfriend took my car to go somewhere
and he didn’t come back on time and I had to report it stolen
because I forgot that he still had the car…..” (You get the point.)
Whatever you say is “nothing” because their life is always so
much worse.
29. Your positives are
their negatives.
• You just got a promotion. Toxic friend doesn’t
congratulate you; instead he points out how
you’ll have to work more and you probably
didn’t get that much of a raise anyway. He also
mentions how others at work will probably hate
you because you are now their boss.
• They cannot be happy for you because it did not
happen to them.
30. Their motto is “Just
Kidding! I Love You!”
or “No offence, but…”
• You are eating a cheeseburger and she calls you a
cow…Just Kidding!
• He says, “No offence, but your shirt is really
ugly!”
• They always insult you, but say “Just Kidding”
afterwards.
• Guess what…..it’s still an insult!
31. How to Handle a Toxic Friend?
• Recognize the toxicity.
• Realize that they are toxic.
How do you really feel when
you are around them? They
may not be toxic to others,
but they are to you.
32. How to Handle a Toxic Friend?
• Take responsibility.
• By continuing a toxic friendship, you’re
allowing your friend to hurt you, but you’re
also hurting yourself.
• Are you a people pleaser? Do you have a
hard time standing up for yourself?
• Even though we want to our friends to like
us and to have them rely on us, take
responsibility for toxic friendships and how
they make you feel.
33. How to Handle a Toxic Friend?
• Set boundaries.
• Make your own self-care
more important than
pleasing the toxic friend.
• Even though it is hard, SAY
NO!!!!
34. How to Handle a Toxic Friend?
• Talk to your nontoxic friends.
• See if they can help you gain an
objective opinion about your toxic
friend.
• Do not use it as a gossip session
to talk about or bag on your toxic
friend. It is meant for asking
advice and gaining new insight
into the friendship.
35. How to Handle a Toxic Friend?
• Suggest help.
• Although it is a sensitive subject,
you may suggest that your toxic
friend seek help to sort out their
career, emotions, family, etc.
• Suggest help in a loving way and
tell them that you will be
supportive every step of the way.
36. How to Handle a Toxic Friend?
• End the friendship.
• It is difficult to end any
friendship. It is not fun and it
hurts. However, the
friendship is doing more
damage and hurting worse
than the breakup will be.
37.
38. Social Media & Friendship
•How does social media impact
friendships?
Pro’s Con’s
Improves relationships and
helps to make new friends
Less to say in person/lack of in-
depth conversation
Can enable face-to-face
meetings
False sense of true friendship by
how many “friends” or “likes”
they have
Helps people become
connected with social
groups
More comfortable posting
inappropriate content that can
never be taken back
39. Cautions of Social Media
• Possible consequences of
using social media
negatively include:
– Social rejection
– Bullying/Cyberbullying
– Gossiping
– Sexual harassment
– Abuse
41. Social Media & Your Future
• Your use of social media can impact
your future opportunities. Think
about the consequences BEFORE
putting something online!
– How is it going to make others feel?
– Is it really that important to post?
– Could it impact your future career/life?
– Could it impact someone else's future?
(Friends, family, co-workers, etc.)
Before beginning the presentation, and after students have written down the qualities they think a “good” friend should have, ask students to assess if they possess those specific qualities?
Each table take one of the questions and discuss. Then share with the class. Think, Pair, Share.
Be careful of what you put into print/photo’s online. Once it is out there it is out there and there is NO retrieval. DO NOT put anything online that you would not say to the person face-to-face. Think about the consequences of what you put online- How is it going to make others feel? Is it really important to post? Could it impact someone’s future? Could it impact your future?
This is where we can reinforce Passive, Aggressive, Assertive behaviors.
Be careful of what you put into print/photo’s online. Once it is out there it is out there and there is NO retrieval. DO NOT put anything online that you would not say to the person face-to-face. Think about the consequences of what you put online- How is it going to make others feel? Is it really important to post? Could it impact someone’s future? Could it impact your future?
This is where we can reinforce Passive, Aggressive, Assertive behaviors.
Be careful of what you put into print/photo’s online. Once it is out there it is out there and there is NO retrieval. DO NOT put anything online that you would not say to the person face-to-face. Think about the consequences of what you put online- How is it going to make others feel? Is it really important to post? Could it impact someone’s future? Could it impact your future?
This is where we can reinforce Passive, Aggressive, Assertive behaviors.
Be careful of what you put into print/photo’s online. Once it is out there it is out there and there is NO retrieval. DO NOT put anything online that you would not say to the person face-to-face. Think about the consequences of what you put online- How is it going to make others feel? Is it really important to post? Could it impact someone’s future? Could it impact your future?
This is where we can reinforce Passive, Aggressive, Assertive behaviors.