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We come into Chapter 6 with Loki catching up with several of his
friends.
“Gary Walton! You have no right to ask about my 'blueberry pie' kissing
method!
Go find your own style, man!”
Loki then realized he had bragging to do to his ex-wife Circe.
She was, after all, still stuck, alone in their old mansion, with nobody but Nervous to
keep her company.
“Nooo it wasn't ice cream sundaes we had the other night, it was our 10th
kid!” He
revealed, after making her guess, “That's right! *snorts * 'Harlot from the Black Lagoon'
indeed!” He teased, laughing.
That afternoon, Loki found an interesting fellow passing by out on the sidewalk.
His name was Quinten McAuley.
“Hmm. . . Quinten,” Loki mused, “Why does that name sound so blastedly familiar?”
“I dunno,” Quinten shrugged.
“My wife's twin brother had a college buddy named Quinten-something, but that weirdo
ran around in a green faux-hawk hairdo and clown face-paint! I mean, can you
imagine?!” Loki laughed snootily.
“Yeah, ha-ha. . . weirdo,” Quinten laughed nervously in reply.
Quinten was invited to stay for lunch, and suffered what grew to be an
overwhelming sense of deja-vu by the time they were done eating.
“You know,” Quinten said thoughtfully, “don't take this in any
kind of weird way, but there's something about your son that's
familiar to me too, and we've never met! Does that chin run in
the family?”
Loki stopped in his tracks and stared at his new acquaintance.
“Why do you ask?”
“It's just this dream I had, where I married this guy with a chin
like that, but the house we had wasn't anything like this! To be
honest, just being here is freaking me out a little,” Quinten
replied.
Dear old Naproxen Sodium hasn't quite gotten the hang of
making pancakes yet, even with 5 cooking points.
Do you prefer yours charred to a cinder, or just extra-crispy?
I suppose we could give him the benefit of a doubt and say he just used too
much castor-oil.
WELL! 'Blackened Pancakes a la Naproxen' seems to have one benefit -
Maybe sonny-boy spiked them with love potion!
Then again that might be problematical, since the boys are eating them too. Lol..
Whatever the cause, Loki and Tootie are a-feelin' frisky and want to go on a date!
“Woo- wee!” Naproxen hooted at his parents.
“All right mom and dad!!” Nitroglycerin cheered, “but go somewhere else,
please,” he added uneasily as he returned to his burned food.
Somewhere else it is! Both parents rolled the want to woo-hoo in the
car; I'm afraid the Dude-Mobile was passionately desecrated, but for
the sake of their happiness I suppose it can be looked over just this
once..
STILL going you two?? I guess all that time focusing on the kid-lets leaves
one's romance-time wanting. Just be sure and take a breath here in a minute,
okay guys? Hello??
“Mmmm. . . cheese . . .” Loki sighed, with his lips dreamily entwined in
hers.
Cripes, man! After that little make-out session they were fired-up enough to get back in
for another round of woo-hoo in the car!
My, what energetic um. . . wants you have rolled, grandma! O.O
Then there was the massage, the romantic hug, and. . *sighs * more make-
out session.
To top it all, Tootie wanted a third woo-hoo in the car.
Loki didn't object too strenuously, even though he was about ready to call it a
night.
Very well, ONE MORE TIME, and then we have to go, okay kids?
I finally just cut them off with this goose.
“BE CAREFUL WOMAN!” Loki yipped, “ it's tender there.”
Rated that one a dream date didja, Loki?
You heart-breaker, you!
“She's the knot in my knotty pine . .” he sighed as he swooned like a lovesick
schoolgirl.
Just don't be surprised when he starts writing 'Mr. Tootie Freshnfruity' on
his notebooks.
The next day we found Oxycodone wandering the halls.
What the beech-nut are YOU doing here?! I sent you packing!
“I came to hear the goods on mom and dad's date!” she replied, finger-
gunning.
Later on, Loki tried his hand at repairing the busted kitchen sink.
Just because his skills are maxed – out, I guess it doesn't mean he's going to
sweet-talk the plumbing into being fixed, because he got rough with it.
“ You monkey-tripping piece of potato-sacking pile of cheap- plumbing
filth,” he cursed,
“ why won't you stay fixed?!” he ranted as he smacked the faucet again.
Since the house in sim-limbo is full, Naproxen Sodium is one of the ones that gets to
hang out at home until the heir is decided upon, while also continuing to go to work
and contribute to the family fundage.
Who should happen to drop by for a visit but Ibuprofen!
It's so cute watching these two reunite over a chess game.
“Whose move is it, bro?” Ibuprofen asked.
“I dunno, I think it's your move. But maybe it's mine,” Naproxen said as they both
stared at the board.
Dashing off to work afterward, Naproxen Sodium came home promoted to
Senator!
Ain't he Mr. Big and Important all of a sudden? He's got a snazzy suit and
everything.
Everyone will have to address him with at least a modicum of respect from
now on.
Would ya lookit that?!
Nitroglycerin brought Omeprazole home from work!
Usually it's some random townie, but I kind of forgot she was in the
music career too.
Lookin' pretty rock n' roll there, Mr. Nitro!
Broken microwave and trash compactor??
Way to go, you guys. . .
BETTER AND BETTER!!
Mr. Naproxen Sodium has now made it to the top of the Politics career track
as MAYOR.
Having done so, he has achieved his lifetime want, and will therefore be in a
permanent platinum mood for the rest of his sim-ly days.
Meanwhile Nitroglycerin continues his boogie-licious moves up the music career
ladder.
He has come home with a promotion to Studio Musician, and has also brought
Sanjay Ramaswami home to meet the family.
'Oh goody! Another random townie for me to meet!' thought Webster the
stray, 'wait, where'd he go?'
Nitroglycerin is the Chuck Norris of the Music track!
Yesterday he got promoted to Concert Pianist, today it's Symphony conductor!
I wonder if he could stash a conductor's wand in that chin. . .
This reminds me of that one fairy tale. Wasn't it 'Sleeping Tootie'? She's clearly just as
princessly!
*snorts “Gimme another pint, Ralph! ” Tootie slurred as she drooled in her sleep,
rolled over and continued to snore like a lumberjack.
All of her skilling lately has left Tootie tired and stinky. BUT she only has one
cleaning point left to get before she maxes out ALL of her skills!
Cue the angel's chorus! Tootie and Loki BOTH have completely maxed out all of their
skills!
Since they both are Education Ministers, both of their job panels now look like this,
except that the vacation days differ. They are going to make quite the handy
grandparents.
Nitroglycerin is looking pretty slick these days!
I wonder if his boss just stole a suit from Jimmy Jungle's closet?
* gasps * Maybe his boss IS Jimmy Jungle! O.O
In the middle of the night, Naproxen Sodium rolled a want to be friends with Quinten
McAuley. Quinten happened to be walking by, and Naproxen ran out to greet his
future best-buddy on the whole Sim-planet.
“How're ya doing since you left us after dinner that night? Naproxen asked Quinten.
“I'm okay; would you mind running inside to get your dad? I'm curious to know what my
new cosmetic-line specs were doing in your dad's briefcase.”
“No sweat! He's probably just admiring them, you know dad!” Naproxen laughed.
Naproxen came back out a few minutes later.
“Dad's asking 'What specs?' I guess we need to help him remember,” Naproxen Sodium
reported.
“Well there was the 'Luscious Lizzie' turkey dinner-flavored lip gloss for one,” Quinten
said, annoyed,
“Also my 'Kibbles n' Gravy- scented shimmer-dust compacts'.”
“Okay, I'll tell him,” Naproxen nodded, “just hold on.”
Naproxen Sodium returned again a moment later with another report:
“Dad says 'It was that filthy-rat work-buddy of yours, Nepolito, that stole them and you
know it'. See? He's showing you his butt from their bedroom window as proof of his
innocence, somehow.”
“Well your dad's a jerk, but you're a good guy,” Quinten replied, “ let's be friends!”
Meanwhile, somewhere totally different from here, a child finds a book on the
floor. . . . .
“Hey, what's this? Ma! Can I read this crusty old book I found on the floor? It has
pictures!”
“Sure kiddo, just leave me alone to do my kitten-stenciling; Ruffles and Sugar-baby
need more stripes!”
“Okay!”
And so he begins to read. . .
Once upon a time, in an
unknown magical fairy land, a
decidedly disagreeable diversion
was in the works as one fairy
gazed through her crystal ball,
deep in thought:
“I wonder. . . what was Tinkletina's goal in rewarding he that erased all of existence?
Furthermore, once Abnerazak's Curse of Lindo Bonito was broken, why did Freshnfruity
Castle not revert back to a mortal house? Did the spell glitch? Were there further
protective enchantments?”
The dark fairy determined that
this error must be remedied, and
so she passed through her
mystical gateway that would
take her to the mortal realm.
“Take me to Freshnfruity Castle, Mojobo!” she said to the
stone gatekeeper, The fire was then eerily snuffed out by
unseen fingers as the magic began.
Emerging from the mystical
gateway, the fairy found
herself in the throne room of
the castle she sought.
In the mortal realm she began
to feel her ancient age.
This displeased her greatly.
“This mortality is unpleasant, Mojobo,” she said to
the gatekeeper.
Knowing that none of the
inhabitants of the castle
were alert to her presence
just yet, this creature
found herself with time to
gloat.
“I shall render these stones into rubble so small that it will not be fit for
paving the streets!
And when they ask me why I must do it, I will ask them to look to that
conniving Tetanus!!”
She then saw the money
trees on either side of the
hall; these further stoked her
fury, as these mortals had
been favored with the
currency of the magical
realm!
“But what is this? Fairy money??” she screeched, “Tinkletina should be
brought before the tribunal for this!” The fairy's rage exploded at this
injustice as she continued to rant.
“She should be stripped of her wand!! She should be banished!! The thief!”
She raged,
“I shall confiscate this immediately, and these trees will bear no more fruit!”
“Hey, we've had enough lately with random kooks thinking they can all just walk into our
house,” Nitroglycerin said boldly, “So just who the llamas in pajamas are you?”
This is not for you to know, mortal,” the dark fairy said in her unearthly hollow and metallic
voice.
A little chill crept up Nitroglycerin's spine but he plowed on, regardless.
The inhabitants of the
castle then began to stir
and rouse themselves.
One was so bold as to
approach and foolish
enough to make demands.
“Gee, you're pretty,”Nitroglycerin grinned mindlessly. He actually did know how dumb that
sounded, but couldn't seem to loosen the mysterious grasp that her mere presence held him
in.
“ Insolent man!” the fairy screeched, Your family shall know my wrath, know it well indeed
by this terrible night's end!”
The dark fairy did not approve
of the forward-ness of this
mortal.
With the smallest flick of one
little finger she pinned him
against the wall.
Yet, the mortal was
mysteriously smitten.
“Oh go blow it out your. . . bendy-straw,” Nitroglycerin responded as his infatuation
dissolved away.
“What's this??” The fairy said, mostly to herself, “He must not have ever encountered a being
with such power as I; Mojobo I must stand my ground!”
The mortal simply shook his
head and became free of the
enamorous enchantment.
The fairy was taken aback
but determined to carry out
her private mission.
“You're lucky I don't strike you dead for your insinuations!” Once again Nitroglycerin was
frozen and no amount of head-shaking would release him. He began to worry.
She continued: “You shall watch as each one of these stones is transformed. THIS one! And
THAT! You alone shall bear witness to your family's just reward! And NEVER will you be
able to show your cowardly countenance in their presence again!”
“Oh MAN, I am in SO much trouble,” Nitroglycerin moaned.
The fairy made it clear to
the mortal that he was
lucky to have his life, as
harshly as he had spoke.
He was not, however, to
escape without paying a
price.
“See this and remember me well, little man.” With that, an impressive golden staff with a
dark purple orb appeared in her hand. As she slowly waved it, stirring the air in large
circles, ages-old stones began to crumble. Other stones simply fell. Still others began to
liquify and change shape.
“ABRA-KA DOWN-GRADE!!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs. . . .
The fairy then struck her
final, damning blow.
She brought out the only
tool in her arsenal powerful
enough to deliver such
justice:
The Staff of Power.
“This book is weird, mama! I'm gonna go watch Jacko n' Effie!”
“Sure, kiddo! But be quiet! You almost made me mess up Bunnykins's
mouse-friend!”
“Okay!”
Returning to Freshnfruity Castle . . .
Returning back home to Freshnfruity Castle. . .
“Daughter-kins? I know you're busy in limbo and all, but we would be so honored if you
would come and have a celebratory dinner with us,” Tootie said into the phone one night,
“We have a surprise for you as heir-poll winner!”
“I'm a little afraid, but okay,” the voice said at the other end of the line.
“Hey, I'm here for some special dinner-or-other; who are you?” Fluticasone asked the strange
man in her parents' dining room.
“The name's Jessie Miguel, and I was invited to dinner too! Say, you've got side-boob and I've
got a fanny-pack! Maybe we can make this work after all!” Jessie said delightedly, making
eyes at this special girl.
“Make what work, exactly??” Fluticasone sneered as she tried to pull her hand back out of
Jessie's clammy, death-grip hand-shake.
After dinner there was a magical moment between these two, where a friendship
must have taken root.
The moment where they realized it was a match made in spazz-a-tron heaven.
“ Yeeeaaaahh!! Shake what yo mama gave ya Jessie!” Fluticasone cheered her new
acquaintance on.
“But I don't think I – OW my tendon!!” Jessie screamed as he tripped over himself.
So the remaining awake dinner-party members lounged in the sweaty work-out room to
hang out for awhile.
“Honey, tell Jessie about that time you got that soccer ball stuck in your- “ Tootie was
interrupted by her daughter.
“Oh come on, ma; nobody thinks that's interesting anymore,” Fluticasone casually dodged
the topic.
“Well I'm interested, now!” Jessie replied eagerly, leaning in to hear the rest of the story.
“Actually that's not so bad,” Jessie responded afterwards, “I have a particular. . . thing for
sumo-wrestling,” he added, winking that creepy wink.
“Yep, that's my cue to go beddy-bye!” Tootie interjected, slapping her knees.
Note: After Tootie left, Fluticasone and Jessie ended up hanging out together(as
friends) until 5:15 the next morning!
The next evening, Loki and Tootie were returning home from a casual night out when:
“Honey, does our house have a purple smoke-leak? We should really get that looked-at,”
Tootie commented.
“Huh, I was not aware that there even was such a thing,” Loki replied, fascinated.
Suddenly the ominous tendrils of smoke became clouds which expanded,
especially around the front door. . .
“Yikes! The entire castle is shaking apart! Better run for the nearest hotel,
chunky-buns!” Loki cried out to his wife.
“No problem! Running away!!” Tootie yelled back, over the noise.
The castle was enveloped in an impenetrable wall of thick purple smoke the rest
of the evening, with occasional explosions echoing from within like cannons,
and the sounds of crumbling stone.
How the neighbors slept I'll never know!
Witnesses say at one point a male voice(probably Nitroglycerin) cried out from
within; something that sounded like:
“OH NO SHE DIDN'T!”
The next morning, we find that the purple smoke has mostly dissipated, having done its
dastardly magical deed.
Where once there was a majestic, ancient stone castle complete with fine furnishings, there
now stands a stack of three rectangular storage containers, converted into trailer-like living
quarters, adorned with musty, threadbare shag carpeting, a disco-era kitchen, and
furnishings that have definitely seen better days.
. . .and then Tootie & Loki returned from their rather sudden
evacuation to a hotel.
“Umm. . . bunny-brains, are we lost?” Tootie asked, perplexedly
gazing around.
“What is this nonsense??” Loki asked nobody in particular,
becoming angrier.
While Tootie wandered away to explore the new digs., the evil fairy
returned . .
“ Who in the name of eeny-meeny-blue-Houdini are you?!” Loki demanded
rudely. He was still a a wee bit miffed from this entire scenario, you see.
“My name is not important,” the heretofore un-named fairy informed him
sweetly, if not a tad inappropriately cheerily, “but I am the one who has
finally delivered sweet justice unto this family for its past misdeeds.”
“You held that grudge a little too long, don't you think?!” Loki continued, “
That was the or-ig-in-al legacy, this is the bleeping re-birth!! Es numero
dos!!”
“And I also wanted to thank you,” the fairy continued, ignoring that last
statement of Loki's, “For my performance, I'm to receive an award!”
“Wonderful,” Loki replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “Well since you got
your reward, couldn't you rewind the clock a little and give me and my wife a
little. . alone-time before you destroyed our castle?”
“Humph! Mortals!” The fairy said, and with that she disappeared in a huff.
When Tootie returned from exploring the lot, Loki was still pondering all that had happened
to them within the last couple of days.
“What's happening, Loki my wonderful wonder-beast?” Tootie asked him cautiously as she
approached.
And so he began to relate to his wife what he had recently found out, and especially how he
found it out.
“. . . . and then she flew off just like a bird! Tweet-tweet-tweet!” He finished.
“Onoshi Di'nt!” Tootie scowled, doing the head-swivel(somewhere, just then a certain purple
fairy descended to Hades, having had her name discovered by mortals) , “you're telling me
that we're paying for something that technically would have happened on the other side of
our family, if I'd had a twin brother?? That really sands-off my dress-buttons! I call no-
fairsies!!”
Now let's backtrack a little bit, back to about the time Loki and Tootie first came upon their
“remodeled” family home, and check up on the inside. Everything okay there?
Hearing a noise in the kitchen on the second floor, I went to investigate; I found
Fluticasone(of all people) in the kitchen, putting out cheesecakes, of all things.
Narrator: Hey lady, you know this house has a special purpose, right? Not just anyone
can waltz in and make themselves at home!
“Oh, hello narrator,” Fluticasone replied, “I just have to have somewhere to put all these
cheesecakes my siblings made for me, for some reason. I'm just stashing them in the fridge,
then I'll be out of here. You can go on about your business.”
But before I knew it she had let the welcome-wagon in, and was using the phone for personal
calls, which is definitely not 'I'll be out of here' , cool though the welcome-wagon was. Hola,
Nervous Subject; welcome to the new house, prematurely, I guess. . .
“Yeah dad, uh-huh, 'remember the goldfish', whatever that means.”
Fluticasone is starting to remind me a little of Goldilocks. She just walked into the new house and
made herself comfortable. I guess she approves of this as a pretty sweet spot to grill from.
Narrator: “Didn't you say you'd be leaving, girlie-pie?”
“Wait, where are you? Anyway my guest got hungry, and so did I; just gimme a few minutes,” she
replied irritably.
Narrator:” Just to remind you, there will be an heir-poll winner coming along shortly, who will
expect an unoccupied house to move into.”
“Yeah, Yeah, In the morning alright?!” she sighed impatiently.
Great. Now the place will smell like sour carpet and hot dogs when I let everyone in. Guests
do get hungry, though.
“Hey Fluticasone! You're cute and single! Want me to show you the rocket I just got?” Nervous
asked her.
“But we don't have rockets in buy-mode yet,” Fluticasone replied, perplexed, “and what does being
single have to do with anything??” she asked, turning her head.
“Well you know- I uh, call it my love-rocket, because. . chicks dig it and uh. . .” Nervous began to
stutter and stammer.
“. . .the truth is, I haven't really unpacked it yet,” Nervous confessed.
“Oh. Well I think I have to ask you to leave. You're creepy and I was supposed
to be gone anyway.”
“What?! Because I wanted help unpacking my love-rocket?? You're weird!”
Nervous exclaimed.
The next day Fluticasone showed up to find her parents waiting to greet the new
heir.
“Congratulations, honey!!” Tootie exclaimed excitedly.
“Pretty. . . sweet deal you've landed, kiddo,” Loki said, struggling to find something
positive.
“Mom! Dad! I'm not the heir, stop already!” she said, laughing.
“But you are sweetie, you won it all!” Tootie explained, “this is yours!”
“ That's silly,” Fluticasone half-chuckled; the joke was getting old fast, “ Who the
heck am I getting married to, if I won the heirdom to generation 2?”
Narrator: Meanwhile out on the sidewalk, Jessie Miguel is now
officially moved-in! I love you, Jessie! You and your $9,000.
Fluticasone: “Oh beans, this was planned out all along, wasn't it, you
scheming plotter?”
Narrator: “Yep. Welcome to the rest of your life. Everybody loves you, and
you beat out all of your hook-nosed brothers in the big poll.
Fluticasone: “On second thought, he IS one hot specimen. I'll do it!” she
smiled.
“Oh Jessie, I'm so happy!” Fluticasone cheered and pounced on her
husband-to-be.
“I OWANNA E A FATHOW ET!!” Jessie tried to scream around her
invading tongue.
(for the non-gibberish-informed that translates to 'I don't wanna
be a father yet' lol.)
“Quick, Jessie! You need a makeover!” Fluticasone
informed her fiancee, and dragged him quickly up to the
second floor.
Narrator: Ever done this before, Fluticasone?
Fluticasone: “Nope!”
Narrator: “Are you at least going for fabulous?
Fluticasone: “Yep!”
Narrator: “Okay, just checking. Carry on then.
“Mom and dad, this is Jessie. You remember him,” Fluticasone reminded Tootie and Loki, as
she introduced her betrothed.
“Humph! Not THAT weirdo again!” Loki grumped, opting out of the introductory hand-shake.
“Well I do,” Tootie replied, “ but my, haven't you changed your. . . 'look' since we last met!” she
answered politely.
“Why thank you!” Jessie responded, flattered, “Your beautiful daughter made me over, but I
may still make a special 'sprucing up' trip to the barber for the wedding.”
Meanwhile, over in Limbo-Land(downtown), in the currently-being-wallpapered(and bricked),
new fancier limbo-house, Omeprazole wants to (a.) invite her sister over and (b.) give a gift.
This is amazing, because Omeprazole was charged with a special responsibility before all of the
non-winning siblings(like her) left Strangetown for good. . . .
“Hi, Flutie how ya been? Wanna come see the new house? I have another
house-warming gift for you. YES besides the cheesecake! Sheesh, okay,
bye.”
The deed was progressing. Not done, mind you, but progressing.
“Well I WAS gonna give you that pair of 'Ooga-Ooh' shoes of mine you always liked,” Omeprazole
began.
“You mean the ones with the jingly-jangly bells all over? Can I really have them?” Fluticasone
asked eagerly.
“No- I mean yes, you can still have them and their gawdawful noise,” Omeprazole continued, “
but let me tell you what happened -” she was interrupted a second time by her winning sister's
curiosity.
“ What? What could be cooler than those-” and then she froze mid-sentence, her eyes lighting up as
an idea came to her.
“Shut-up!” Fluticasone exclaimed in a fit of watery-eyed, girlish excitement, fanning her face with
her hands, “It IS NOT that necklace you got off the ABC Shopping channel is it? OOOh. . . I think it
iiiss!” She said in a sing-song way, giggling and getting giddy over the idea.
“No, no! That hunk of junk fell apart ages ago! Now what happened was a mysterious cursor
dropped this in my inventory, and I thought it might be handier for you some day, to-” again with
the interruptions!
“ Oooh whatisit-whatisit-whatisit?!” Fluticasone jumped up and down, squirming a little. It looked
like she might just wet the sidewalk if no one got around to telling her what she came for.
Omeprazole sighed exasperatedly. “Here, I didn't want our other siblings seeing me give you
this, otherwise they might be jealous I got the task. Take it for Jeebus's sake! But don't
open it until you get home, otherwise I'm told it'd spoil the tension, whatever that means.”
“You got it!” Fluticasone responded in quiet, subdued awe.
That evening, Fluticasone opened and assembled her house-warming gift in a quiet corner
of the backyard.
“A phone?! Sis, what are you pulling?” she speculated to no one in particular, “Gosh this thing
is creepy-looking! Where does she find these goofy novelty shops? That crazy girl! Ha-ha! Oh
well, time to go back inside,” Fluticasone sighed. Underwhelmed, she turned and went back
inside, leaving the phone where it was and shaking her head in bemused wonderment. Why
would Omeprazole pick that thing out for her?
Coming back in from the back yard, who should we find to greet us but
Blinky, that magical scarecrow that sat outside the dollhouse in the
original legacy!
How in Jeebus did you survive the nothing button, old buddy? Is
there more going on here than we know? Probably. I'll have to keep an
eye on this one.
Loki has discovered the chocolate candy-making machine in the shed in the
backyard; it was one of several of the siblings' career-reward objects given
to Fluticasone as prizes for winning the heir poll.
You can't see it from here but Jessie has made a trip to the jewelry store at Shop-
a-Lot Center and gotten thoroughly pierced and bejeweled, because his future wife
likes jewelry.
He now aims to fully get in shape to heighten Fluticasone's attraction to him; after
all he also needs to spiff-up for the wedding to come!
Narrator: Let's see you sweat, you pudgy turd-ball!
* Jessie grunting and heaving in reply *
During the middle of his workout, minor crisis struck in the back yard when lightning struck their
precious banana tree in a storm, after which the storm quickly ended, leaving the unrelenting blaze
for the valiant new couple to extinguish. Jessie went to the rescue, despite having practically no
skills.
“Save our tree!!” Fluticasone cried out in a damsel-like panic from the corner of the yard, “Save our
bar!!”
“I can't! I can't!” Jessie screamed back over the noise of the extinguisher, “It won't go out!!” he
sobbed.
“You cosmic weiner, here I'll do it,” Fluticasone sighed, taking over.
“Mr. Dog! Mr. Dog! Whadowedo?! FIRE Mr. Dog, FIRE!!” Jessie continued to panic, dancing
well away from the danger of the tree-fire.
'”Arf,” the stray barked dejectedly, shaking his head. Loosely translated, this meant 'You
people are so not going to make it.'
Of course it was Fluticasone who came through, in the end. But Jessie does have his little
way of being thankful.
“Mah he-wo” He slobbered on her chin, trying to form the words around their make-out
session once again.
'Ugh, somebody get me out of this crazy place!' the stray thought as it fruitlessly searched
for a direction to run.
What's happening in the front yard? Ah yes, joining our growing family of tacky lawn-
ornaments is Fernando the Flamingo. Everybody say hello to Fernando! What do you mean
why?! It's the polite thing to do, and we mustn't hurt Fernando's feelings, right boy?
“Squawk!”
Coming back inside from her harrowing, traumatic experience(and because Jessie returned to
his workout), Fluticasone felt the burning desire to express her woes in music. As a result,
she maxed-out her creativity skill!
“Camp-town races sing this song, do-dah! Do-dah!” she swayed joyously from side to side in
time, as she sang the happy tune.
Ah, the first, festive snow of the season. And Tootie has come home from work
and decided to make the first festive snowman. Still in her festive pantyhose and
heels from work. Will she even be able to walk after this, if she takes her time
the way she is?
Loki came home about the same time, but chose to unwind that evening by looking at the
stars.
Tootie chose to go shopping at Shop-a-Lot, because she wanted to give a gift. She interrupted
her husband's stargazing to give him his.
“Look honey, I got us cell-phones! There's a new little store at the shopping center now, isn't
that neat?”
“We don't keep up with our friends as it is and you got us these things?” Loki asked,
cocking his head at her.
Jessie's lifetime want is to max-out all 7 skills. Hey that's super-easy! It also means he can go
into whatever career we want to stick him in, since his want is nothing career-related.
However he seems to be having a hard time finding anything very interesting. I wonder if it
has anything to do with his pretty new makeup-job from the barber's?
Jessie then met up with Fluticasone for a spaghetti lunch.
“Is that your new makeup? It looks so good with your piercings honey!!” she
commented delightedly.
After lunch Jessie returned to the basement, this time to get a little practice with mechanical
skill-building via the surgery-training station.
“EEW!! A squishy purple thing! Put it back! Put it back!!” he said to himself. Hmm.. okay so
no brain surgery-profession for this guy, I'm guessing?
Let's see what's happening elsewhere. . . .
A pillow-fight? In the house?? Tootie and Loki should behave themselves a little
more than that!
Hey, what's that I hear going on downstairs?
Surprise! It's wedding-time, brought to you by Rent-a-Deck!
“They'll slap it up, then tear it down again, YES it's Rent-a-
Deck!”
Introducing Jessie Freshnfruity!! Now let's “cake” this thing.
“Liquor-time, right ma?” Omeprazole asked Tootie.
“No dear, we're waiting to watch the cake-cutting bit first,” Tootie responded
sympathetically.
“All the way over there?!” Omeprazole complained under her breath.
“Oh, just watch the stupid cake-thing and behave yourselves,” Loki mumbled from
behind them.
“It's so nice to celebrate with family, isn't it dear?” Fluticasone said wistfully to her
new husband.
On the right-hand side of the deck was the bride and groom to whom nobody was paying any
mind:
“Heeere comes the choo-choo!” Jessie said, “ chugga-chugga-chugga!”
“Ha-ha-ha- *ulp *” Fluticasone gulped as cake was shoved in her bridal food-hole, *hack,
hack, cough, choke *
On the left, Omeprazole and Hydrocodone were gathered with Tootie , Loki, and some
random townie waiting for the toast:
“Now champagne?” Omeprazole asked.
“Champagne?? Champagne?? The random townie and Hyrdocodone echoed each other, “YES
CHAMPAGNE!!”
“Coming in for cake?” Loki called back to the guests.
“CAKE! YES CAKE!” Hydrocodone and the teen townie switched tracks but continued to
echo one another.
“N-nope, w-we're s-standing out h-here until we f-f-freeze w-waiting to do our t-t-toast!”
Tootie said stubbornly.
“You may just,” Loki agreed, “see you two in a little while then!”
Upstairs, Omeprazole makes peace with her newly-married sister.
“Sorry for that lapse in sober judgement, sis,” she said somewhat guiltily, “still besties?”
“It's no problem, I knew you came to see me get hitched, not just as an excuse to get
sloshed,” Fluticasone nodded sagely, “hey wait, that dress looks really familiar. . . uh, what
do you know, we shop at the same stores! Ha-ha,” she laughed awkwardly.
“It is SO great missing work for this, I mean eating my favorite cardboard-flavored cake with
these curly little cardboard shavings! And getting a husband?! Puh-lease,” Fluticasone
rapturously rambled on.
“No DUH,” Omeprazole agreed, “did you do something with your hair? It looks really good
today! Not that it isn't great every day. . .”And so it went.
And finally, there's that toast that every parched reader has been waiting for.
“To the lovely couple, “ Loki began serenely, “may their many wants be granted, may they
live long and happily, and may all of their babies be smacked absurdly, inappropriately-
hard with the ugly-stick!”
“Here-here!” somebody said approvingly.
“The best toast EVER!” Somebody else cheered. Indeed, it was a fine moment in an
otherwise bat-shorts-crazy wedding celebration.
Fluticasone and Jessie rocked out together till late into the evening(on another career-
reward-prize from another sibling, no less), when it grew dark and the snow began to fall
prettily. They earned a Good Time party-score for it all, too!
“What is it mother, an Albino Snow-Chigger invasion?” Hydrocodone asked, her voice
wavering hesitantly near fear.
“You've seen this before dear, “Tootie explained serenely, “ Everytime a wedding happens,
the angels bless the new couple with their strawberry-scented dandruff. Like, alot.”
What is this?? Oohh! Jessie and Fluticasone's first real on-the-bed makeout session, and
in their pretty new third-floor bedroom too!
I fear where this may be leading, but I'm entertained by the prospect of where all of his
makeup will end up by tomorrow morning. *eg
Wait- one minute they're all hot and heavy and the next they're just flat
exhausted?
What just happened here?? Did we miss something?? Surely not.
They look so cozy we'd better just let them sleep.
The next morning, Fluticasone's pancake breakfast did not seem to agree with her.
Poor girl's got a stomach bug the very morning after her wedding, apparently! HOW
does it get any worse, I ask you?
This looks like a really bad virus; Fluticasone has now blown her
Freshnfruity chunks two times in a row!
What was even the point of eating in the first place?
Good ol' Jessie was nice enough to clean up after his wife, who went in to get more pancakes.
Lol..
All poor Fluticasone wanted to do was put her feet up after Tootie and Loki went off to work,
so Jessie looked for ways to entertain himself.
“ Yep, that's a fine snow-hombre right there; it doesn't need a another darned thing,” he said
proudly to himself .
Eh, it's just a minor detail you missed, Jessie- maybe he'll figure it out in Chapter 7,
d'ya think? See you there!

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Freshnfruity rebirth chapter 6 for lj

  • 1.
  • 2. We come into Chapter 6 with Loki catching up with several of his friends. “Gary Walton! You have no right to ask about my 'blueberry pie' kissing method! Go find your own style, man!”
  • 3. Loki then realized he had bragging to do to his ex-wife Circe. She was, after all, still stuck, alone in their old mansion, with nobody but Nervous to keep her company. “Nooo it wasn't ice cream sundaes we had the other night, it was our 10th kid!” He revealed, after making her guess, “That's right! *snorts * 'Harlot from the Black Lagoon' indeed!” He teased, laughing.
  • 4. That afternoon, Loki found an interesting fellow passing by out on the sidewalk. His name was Quinten McAuley. “Hmm. . . Quinten,” Loki mused, “Why does that name sound so blastedly familiar?” “I dunno,” Quinten shrugged. “My wife's twin brother had a college buddy named Quinten-something, but that weirdo ran around in a green faux-hawk hairdo and clown face-paint! I mean, can you imagine?!” Loki laughed snootily. “Yeah, ha-ha. . . weirdo,” Quinten laughed nervously in reply.
  • 5. Quinten was invited to stay for lunch, and suffered what grew to be an overwhelming sense of deja-vu by the time they were done eating. “You know,” Quinten said thoughtfully, “don't take this in any kind of weird way, but there's something about your son that's familiar to me too, and we've never met! Does that chin run in the family?” Loki stopped in his tracks and stared at his new acquaintance. “Why do you ask?” “It's just this dream I had, where I married this guy with a chin like that, but the house we had wasn't anything like this! To be honest, just being here is freaking me out a little,” Quinten replied.
  • 6. Dear old Naproxen Sodium hasn't quite gotten the hang of making pancakes yet, even with 5 cooking points. Do you prefer yours charred to a cinder, or just extra-crispy? I suppose we could give him the benefit of a doubt and say he just used too much castor-oil.
  • 7. WELL! 'Blackened Pancakes a la Naproxen' seems to have one benefit - Maybe sonny-boy spiked them with love potion! Then again that might be problematical, since the boys are eating them too. Lol.. Whatever the cause, Loki and Tootie are a-feelin' frisky and want to go on a date! “Woo- wee!” Naproxen hooted at his parents. “All right mom and dad!!” Nitroglycerin cheered, “but go somewhere else, please,” he added uneasily as he returned to his burned food.
  • 8. Somewhere else it is! Both parents rolled the want to woo-hoo in the car; I'm afraid the Dude-Mobile was passionately desecrated, but for the sake of their happiness I suppose it can be looked over just this once..
  • 9. STILL going you two?? I guess all that time focusing on the kid-lets leaves one's romance-time wanting. Just be sure and take a breath here in a minute, okay guys? Hello?? “Mmmm. . . cheese . . .” Loki sighed, with his lips dreamily entwined in hers.
  • 10. Cripes, man! After that little make-out session they were fired-up enough to get back in for another round of woo-hoo in the car! My, what energetic um. . . wants you have rolled, grandma! O.O
  • 11. Then there was the massage, the romantic hug, and. . *sighs * more make- out session.
  • 12. To top it all, Tootie wanted a third woo-hoo in the car. Loki didn't object too strenuously, even though he was about ready to call it a night. Very well, ONE MORE TIME, and then we have to go, okay kids?
  • 13. I finally just cut them off with this goose. “BE CAREFUL WOMAN!” Loki yipped, “ it's tender there.”
  • 14. Rated that one a dream date didja, Loki? You heart-breaker, you! “She's the knot in my knotty pine . .” he sighed as he swooned like a lovesick schoolgirl. Just don't be surprised when he starts writing 'Mr. Tootie Freshnfruity' on his notebooks.
  • 15. The next day we found Oxycodone wandering the halls. What the beech-nut are YOU doing here?! I sent you packing! “I came to hear the goods on mom and dad's date!” she replied, finger- gunning.
  • 16. Later on, Loki tried his hand at repairing the busted kitchen sink. Just because his skills are maxed – out, I guess it doesn't mean he's going to sweet-talk the plumbing into being fixed, because he got rough with it. “ You monkey-tripping piece of potato-sacking pile of cheap- plumbing filth,” he cursed, “ why won't you stay fixed?!” he ranted as he smacked the faucet again.
  • 17. Since the house in sim-limbo is full, Naproxen Sodium is one of the ones that gets to hang out at home until the heir is decided upon, while also continuing to go to work and contribute to the family fundage. Who should happen to drop by for a visit but Ibuprofen! It's so cute watching these two reunite over a chess game. “Whose move is it, bro?” Ibuprofen asked. “I dunno, I think it's your move. But maybe it's mine,” Naproxen said as they both stared at the board.
  • 18. Dashing off to work afterward, Naproxen Sodium came home promoted to Senator! Ain't he Mr. Big and Important all of a sudden? He's got a snazzy suit and everything. Everyone will have to address him with at least a modicum of respect from now on.
  • 19. Would ya lookit that?! Nitroglycerin brought Omeprazole home from work! Usually it's some random townie, but I kind of forgot she was in the music career too. Lookin' pretty rock n' roll there, Mr. Nitro!
  • 20. Broken microwave and trash compactor?? Way to go, you guys. . .
  • 21. BETTER AND BETTER!! Mr. Naproxen Sodium has now made it to the top of the Politics career track as MAYOR. Having done so, he has achieved his lifetime want, and will therefore be in a permanent platinum mood for the rest of his sim-ly days.
  • 22. Meanwhile Nitroglycerin continues his boogie-licious moves up the music career ladder. He has come home with a promotion to Studio Musician, and has also brought Sanjay Ramaswami home to meet the family. 'Oh goody! Another random townie for me to meet!' thought Webster the stray, 'wait, where'd he go?'
  • 23. Nitroglycerin is the Chuck Norris of the Music track! Yesterday he got promoted to Concert Pianist, today it's Symphony conductor! I wonder if he could stash a conductor's wand in that chin. . .
  • 24. This reminds me of that one fairy tale. Wasn't it 'Sleeping Tootie'? She's clearly just as princessly! *snorts “Gimme another pint, Ralph! ” Tootie slurred as she drooled in her sleep, rolled over and continued to snore like a lumberjack. All of her skilling lately has left Tootie tired and stinky. BUT she only has one cleaning point left to get before she maxes out ALL of her skills!
  • 25. Cue the angel's chorus! Tootie and Loki BOTH have completely maxed out all of their skills! Since they both are Education Ministers, both of their job panels now look like this, except that the vacation days differ. They are going to make quite the handy grandparents.
  • 26. Nitroglycerin is looking pretty slick these days! I wonder if his boss just stole a suit from Jimmy Jungle's closet? * gasps * Maybe his boss IS Jimmy Jungle! O.O
  • 27. In the middle of the night, Naproxen Sodium rolled a want to be friends with Quinten McAuley. Quinten happened to be walking by, and Naproxen ran out to greet his future best-buddy on the whole Sim-planet. “How're ya doing since you left us after dinner that night? Naproxen asked Quinten. “I'm okay; would you mind running inside to get your dad? I'm curious to know what my new cosmetic-line specs were doing in your dad's briefcase.” “No sweat! He's probably just admiring them, you know dad!” Naproxen laughed.
  • 28. Naproxen came back out a few minutes later. “Dad's asking 'What specs?' I guess we need to help him remember,” Naproxen Sodium reported. “Well there was the 'Luscious Lizzie' turkey dinner-flavored lip gloss for one,” Quinten said, annoyed, “Also my 'Kibbles n' Gravy- scented shimmer-dust compacts'.” “Okay, I'll tell him,” Naproxen nodded, “just hold on.”
  • 29. Naproxen Sodium returned again a moment later with another report: “Dad says 'It was that filthy-rat work-buddy of yours, Nepolito, that stole them and you know it'. See? He's showing you his butt from their bedroom window as proof of his innocence, somehow.” “Well your dad's a jerk, but you're a good guy,” Quinten replied, “ let's be friends!”
  • 30. Meanwhile, somewhere totally different from here, a child finds a book on the floor. . . . . “Hey, what's this? Ma! Can I read this crusty old book I found on the floor? It has pictures!” “Sure kiddo, just leave me alone to do my kitten-stenciling; Ruffles and Sugar-baby need more stripes!” “Okay!” And so he begins to read. . .
  • 31. Once upon a time, in an unknown magical fairy land, a decidedly disagreeable diversion was in the works as one fairy gazed through her crystal ball, deep in thought: “I wonder. . . what was Tinkletina's goal in rewarding he that erased all of existence? Furthermore, once Abnerazak's Curse of Lindo Bonito was broken, why did Freshnfruity Castle not revert back to a mortal house? Did the spell glitch? Were there further protective enchantments?”
  • 32. The dark fairy determined that this error must be remedied, and so she passed through her mystical gateway that would take her to the mortal realm. “Take me to Freshnfruity Castle, Mojobo!” she said to the stone gatekeeper, The fire was then eerily snuffed out by unseen fingers as the magic began.
  • 33. Emerging from the mystical gateway, the fairy found herself in the throne room of the castle she sought. In the mortal realm she began to feel her ancient age. This displeased her greatly. “This mortality is unpleasant, Mojobo,” she said to the gatekeeper.
  • 34. Knowing that none of the inhabitants of the castle were alert to her presence just yet, this creature found herself with time to gloat. “I shall render these stones into rubble so small that it will not be fit for paving the streets! And when they ask me why I must do it, I will ask them to look to that conniving Tetanus!!”
  • 35. She then saw the money trees on either side of the hall; these further stoked her fury, as these mortals had been favored with the currency of the magical realm! “But what is this? Fairy money??” she screeched, “Tinkletina should be brought before the tribunal for this!” The fairy's rage exploded at this injustice as she continued to rant. “She should be stripped of her wand!! She should be banished!! The thief!” She raged, “I shall confiscate this immediately, and these trees will bear no more fruit!”
  • 36. “Hey, we've had enough lately with random kooks thinking they can all just walk into our house,” Nitroglycerin said boldly, “So just who the llamas in pajamas are you?” This is not for you to know, mortal,” the dark fairy said in her unearthly hollow and metallic voice. A little chill crept up Nitroglycerin's spine but he plowed on, regardless. The inhabitants of the castle then began to stir and rouse themselves. One was so bold as to approach and foolish enough to make demands.
  • 37. “Gee, you're pretty,”Nitroglycerin grinned mindlessly. He actually did know how dumb that sounded, but couldn't seem to loosen the mysterious grasp that her mere presence held him in. “ Insolent man!” the fairy screeched, Your family shall know my wrath, know it well indeed by this terrible night's end!” The dark fairy did not approve of the forward-ness of this mortal. With the smallest flick of one little finger she pinned him against the wall. Yet, the mortal was mysteriously smitten.
  • 38. “Oh go blow it out your. . . bendy-straw,” Nitroglycerin responded as his infatuation dissolved away. “What's this??” The fairy said, mostly to herself, “He must not have ever encountered a being with such power as I; Mojobo I must stand my ground!” The mortal simply shook his head and became free of the enamorous enchantment. The fairy was taken aback but determined to carry out her private mission.
  • 39. “You're lucky I don't strike you dead for your insinuations!” Once again Nitroglycerin was frozen and no amount of head-shaking would release him. He began to worry. She continued: “You shall watch as each one of these stones is transformed. THIS one! And THAT! You alone shall bear witness to your family's just reward! And NEVER will you be able to show your cowardly countenance in their presence again!” “Oh MAN, I am in SO much trouble,” Nitroglycerin moaned. The fairy made it clear to the mortal that he was lucky to have his life, as harshly as he had spoke. He was not, however, to escape without paying a price.
  • 40. “See this and remember me well, little man.” With that, an impressive golden staff with a dark purple orb appeared in her hand. As she slowly waved it, stirring the air in large circles, ages-old stones began to crumble. Other stones simply fell. Still others began to liquify and change shape. “ABRA-KA DOWN-GRADE!!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs. . . . The fairy then struck her final, damning blow. She brought out the only tool in her arsenal powerful enough to deliver such justice: The Staff of Power.
  • 41. “This book is weird, mama! I'm gonna go watch Jacko n' Effie!” “Sure, kiddo! But be quiet! You almost made me mess up Bunnykins's mouse-friend!” “Okay!” Returning to Freshnfruity Castle . . .
  • 42. Returning back home to Freshnfruity Castle. . . “Daughter-kins? I know you're busy in limbo and all, but we would be so honored if you would come and have a celebratory dinner with us,” Tootie said into the phone one night, “We have a surprise for you as heir-poll winner!” “I'm a little afraid, but okay,” the voice said at the other end of the line.
  • 43. “Hey, I'm here for some special dinner-or-other; who are you?” Fluticasone asked the strange man in her parents' dining room. “The name's Jessie Miguel, and I was invited to dinner too! Say, you've got side-boob and I've got a fanny-pack! Maybe we can make this work after all!” Jessie said delightedly, making eyes at this special girl. “Make what work, exactly??” Fluticasone sneered as she tried to pull her hand back out of Jessie's clammy, death-grip hand-shake.
  • 44. After dinner there was a magical moment between these two, where a friendship must have taken root. The moment where they realized it was a match made in spazz-a-tron heaven. “ Yeeeaaaahh!! Shake what yo mama gave ya Jessie!” Fluticasone cheered her new acquaintance on. “But I don't think I – OW my tendon!!” Jessie screamed as he tripped over himself.
  • 45. So the remaining awake dinner-party members lounged in the sweaty work-out room to hang out for awhile. “Honey, tell Jessie about that time you got that soccer ball stuck in your- “ Tootie was interrupted by her daughter. “Oh come on, ma; nobody thinks that's interesting anymore,” Fluticasone casually dodged the topic. “Well I'm interested, now!” Jessie replied eagerly, leaning in to hear the rest of the story.
  • 46. “Actually that's not so bad,” Jessie responded afterwards, “I have a particular. . . thing for sumo-wrestling,” he added, winking that creepy wink. “Yep, that's my cue to go beddy-bye!” Tootie interjected, slapping her knees. Note: After Tootie left, Fluticasone and Jessie ended up hanging out together(as friends) until 5:15 the next morning!
  • 47. The next evening, Loki and Tootie were returning home from a casual night out when: “Honey, does our house have a purple smoke-leak? We should really get that looked-at,” Tootie commented. “Huh, I was not aware that there even was such a thing,” Loki replied, fascinated.
  • 48. Suddenly the ominous tendrils of smoke became clouds which expanded, especially around the front door. . . “Yikes! The entire castle is shaking apart! Better run for the nearest hotel, chunky-buns!” Loki cried out to his wife. “No problem! Running away!!” Tootie yelled back, over the noise.
  • 49. The castle was enveloped in an impenetrable wall of thick purple smoke the rest of the evening, with occasional explosions echoing from within like cannons, and the sounds of crumbling stone. How the neighbors slept I'll never know! Witnesses say at one point a male voice(probably Nitroglycerin) cried out from within; something that sounded like: “OH NO SHE DIDN'T!”
  • 50. The next morning, we find that the purple smoke has mostly dissipated, having done its dastardly magical deed. Where once there was a majestic, ancient stone castle complete with fine furnishings, there now stands a stack of three rectangular storage containers, converted into trailer-like living quarters, adorned with musty, threadbare shag carpeting, a disco-era kitchen, and furnishings that have definitely seen better days.
  • 51. . . .and then Tootie & Loki returned from their rather sudden evacuation to a hotel. “Umm. . . bunny-brains, are we lost?” Tootie asked, perplexedly gazing around. “What is this nonsense??” Loki asked nobody in particular, becoming angrier.
  • 52. While Tootie wandered away to explore the new digs., the evil fairy returned . . “ Who in the name of eeny-meeny-blue-Houdini are you?!” Loki demanded rudely. He was still a a wee bit miffed from this entire scenario, you see. “My name is not important,” the heretofore un-named fairy informed him sweetly, if not a tad inappropriately cheerily, “but I am the one who has finally delivered sweet justice unto this family for its past misdeeds.” “You held that grudge a little too long, don't you think?!” Loki continued, “ That was the or-ig-in-al legacy, this is the bleeping re-birth!! Es numero dos!!” “And I also wanted to thank you,” the fairy continued, ignoring that last statement of Loki's, “For my performance, I'm to receive an award!”
  • 53. “Wonderful,” Loki replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “Well since you got your reward, couldn't you rewind the clock a little and give me and my wife a little. . alone-time before you destroyed our castle?” “Humph! Mortals!” The fairy said, and with that she disappeared in a huff.
  • 54. When Tootie returned from exploring the lot, Loki was still pondering all that had happened to them within the last couple of days. “What's happening, Loki my wonderful wonder-beast?” Tootie asked him cautiously as she approached. And so he began to relate to his wife what he had recently found out, and especially how he found it out.
  • 55. “. . . . and then she flew off just like a bird! Tweet-tweet-tweet!” He finished. “Onoshi Di'nt!” Tootie scowled, doing the head-swivel(somewhere, just then a certain purple fairy descended to Hades, having had her name discovered by mortals) , “you're telling me that we're paying for something that technically would have happened on the other side of our family, if I'd had a twin brother?? That really sands-off my dress-buttons! I call no- fairsies!!” Now let's backtrack a little bit, back to about the time Loki and Tootie first came upon their “remodeled” family home, and check up on the inside. Everything okay there?
  • 56. Hearing a noise in the kitchen on the second floor, I went to investigate; I found Fluticasone(of all people) in the kitchen, putting out cheesecakes, of all things. Narrator: Hey lady, you know this house has a special purpose, right? Not just anyone can waltz in and make themselves at home! “Oh, hello narrator,” Fluticasone replied, “I just have to have somewhere to put all these cheesecakes my siblings made for me, for some reason. I'm just stashing them in the fridge, then I'll be out of here. You can go on about your business.”
  • 57. But before I knew it she had let the welcome-wagon in, and was using the phone for personal calls, which is definitely not 'I'll be out of here' , cool though the welcome-wagon was. Hola, Nervous Subject; welcome to the new house, prematurely, I guess. . . “Yeah dad, uh-huh, 'remember the goldfish', whatever that means.”
  • 58. Fluticasone is starting to remind me a little of Goldilocks. She just walked into the new house and made herself comfortable. I guess she approves of this as a pretty sweet spot to grill from. Narrator: “Didn't you say you'd be leaving, girlie-pie?” “Wait, where are you? Anyway my guest got hungry, and so did I; just gimme a few minutes,” she replied irritably. Narrator:” Just to remind you, there will be an heir-poll winner coming along shortly, who will expect an unoccupied house to move into.” “Yeah, Yeah, In the morning alright?!” she sighed impatiently.
  • 59. Great. Now the place will smell like sour carpet and hot dogs when I let everyone in. Guests do get hungry, though. “Hey Fluticasone! You're cute and single! Want me to show you the rocket I just got?” Nervous asked her. “But we don't have rockets in buy-mode yet,” Fluticasone replied, perplexed, “and what does being single have to do with anything??” she asked, turning her head. “Well you know- I uh, call it my love-rocket, because. . chicks dig it and uh. . .” Nervous began to stutter and stammer.
  • 60. “. . .the truth is, I haven't really unpacked it yet,” Nervous confessed. “Oh. Well I think I have to ask you to leave. You're creepy and I was supposed to be gone anyway.” “What?! Because I wanted help unpacking my love-rocket?? You're weird!” Nervous exclaimed.
  • 61. The next day Fluticasone showed up to find her parents waiting to greet the new heir. “Congratulations, honey!!” Tootie exclaimed excitedly. “Pretty. . . sweet deal you've landed, kiddo,” Loki said, struggling to find something positive. “Mom! Dad! I'm not the heir, stop already!” she said, laughing. “But you are sweetie, you won it all!” Tootie explained, “this is yours!” “ That's silly,” Fluticasone half-chuckled; the joke was getting old fast, “ Who the heck am I getting married to, if I won the heirdom to generation 2?”
  • 62. Narrator: Meanwhile out on the sidewalk, Jessie Miguel is now officially moved-in! I love you, Jessie! You and your $9,000. Fluticasone: “Oh beans, this was planned out all along, wasn't it, you scheming plotter?” Narrator: “Yep. Welcome to the rest of your life. Everybody loves you, and you beat out all of your hook-nosed brothers in the big poll. Fluticasone: “On second thought, he IS one hot specimen. I'll do it!” she smiled.
  • 63. “Oh Jessie, I'm so happy!” Fluticasone cheered and pounced on her husband-to-be. “I OWANNA E A FATHOW ET!!” Jessie tried to scream around her invading tongue. (for the non-gibberish-informed that translates to 'I don't wanna be a father yet' lol.)
  • 64. “Quick, Jessie! You need a makeover!” Fluticasone informed her fiancee, and dragged him quickly up to the second floor. Narrator: Ever done this before, Fluticasone? Fluticasone: “Nope!” Narrator: “Are you at least going for fabulous? Fluticasone: “Yep!” Narrator: “Okay, just checking. Carry on then.
  • 65. “Mom and dad, this is Jessie. You remember him,” Fluticasone reminded Tootie and Loki, as she introduced her betrothed. “Humph! Not THAT weirdo again!” Loki grumped, opting out of the introductory hand-shake. “Well I do,” Tootie replied, “ but my, haven't you changed your. . . 'look' since we last met!” she answered politely. “Why thank you!” Jessie responded, flattered, “Your beautiful daughter made me over, but I may still make a special 'sprucing up' trip to the barber for the wedding.”
  • 66. Meanwhile, over in Limbo-Land(downtown), in the currently-being-wallpapered(and bricked), new fancier limbo-house, Omeprazole wants to (a.) invite her sister over and (b.) give a gift. This is amazing, because Omeprazole was charged with a special responsibility before all of the non-winning siblings(like her) left Strangetown for good. . . .
  • 67. “Hi, Flutie how ya been? Wanna come see the new house? I have another house-warming gift for you. YES besides the cheesecake! Sheesh, okay, bye.” The deed was progressing. Not done, mind you, but progressing.
  • 68. “Well I WAS gonna give you that pair of 'Ooga-Ooh' shoes of mine you always liked,” Omeprazole began. “You mean the ones with the jingly-jangly bells all over? Can I really have them?” Fluticasone asked eagerly. “No- I mean yes, you can still have them and their gawdawful noise,” Omeprazole continued, “ but let me tell you what happened -” she was interrupted a second time by her winning sister's curiosity. “ What? What could be cooler than those-” and then she froze mid-sentence, her eyes lighting up as an idea came to her.
  • 69. “Shut-up!” Fluticasone exclaimed in a fit of watery-eyed, girlish excitement, fanning her face with her hands, “It IS NOT that necklace you got off the ABC Shopping channel is it? OOOh. . . I think it iiiss!” She said in a sing-song way, giggling and getting giddy over the idea. “No, no! That hunk of junk fell apart ages ago! Now what happened was a mysterious cursor dropped this in my inventory, and I thought it might be handier for you some day, to-” again with the interruptions! “ Oooh whatisit-whatisit-whatisit?!” Fluticasone jumped up and down, squirming a little. It looked like she might just wet the sidewalk if no one got around to telling her what she came for.
  • 70. Omeprazole sighed exasperatedly. “Here, I didn't want our other siblings seeing me give you this, otherwise they might be jealous I got the task. Take it for Jeebus's sake! But don't open it until you get home, otherwise I'm told it'd spoil the tension, whatever that means.” “You got it!” Fluticasone responded in quiet, subdued awe.
  • 71. That evening, Fluticasone opened and assembled her house-warming gift in a quiet corner of the backyard. “A phone?! Sis, what are you pulling?” she speculated to no one in particular, “Gosh this thing is creepy-looking! Where does she find these goofy novelty shops? That crazy girl! Ha-ha! Oh well, time to go back inside,” Fluticasone sighed. Underwhelmed, she turned and went back inside, leaving the phone where it was and shaking her head in bemused wonderment. Why would Omeprazole pick that thing out for her?
  • 72. Coming back in from the back yard, who should we find to greet us but Blinky, that magical scarecrow that sat outside the dollhouse in the original legacy! How in Jeebus did you survive the nothing button, old buddy? Is there more going on here than we know? Probably. I'll have to keep an eye on this one.
  • 73. Loki has discovered the chocolate candy-making machine in the shed in the backyard; it was one of several of the siblings' career-reward objects given to Fluticasone as prizes for winning the heir poll.
  • 74. You can't see it from here but Jessie has made a trip to the jewelry store at Shop- a-Lot Center and gotten thoroughly pierced and bejeweled, because his future wife likes jewelry. He now aims to fully get in shape to heighten Fluticasone's attraction to him; after all he also needs to spiff-up for the wedding to come! Narrator: Let's see you sweat, you pudgy turd-ball! * Jessie grunting and heaving in reply *
  • 75. During the middle of his workout, minor crisis struck in the back yard when lightning struck their precious banana tree in a storm, after which the storm quickly ended, leaving the unrelenting blaze for the valiant new couple to extinguish. Jessie went to the rescue, despite having practically no skills. “Save our tree!!” Fluticasone cried out in a damsel-like panic from the corner of the yard, “Save our bar!!” “I can't! I can't!” Jessie screamed back over the noise of the extinguisher, “It won't go out!!” he sobbed.
  • 76. “You cosmic weiner, here I'll do it,” Fluticasone sighed, taking over. “Mr. Dog! Mr. Dog! Whadowedo?! FIRE Mr. Dog, FIRE!!” Jessie continued to panic, dancing well away from the danger of the tree-fire. '”Arf,” the stray barked dejectedly, shaking his head. Loosely translated, this meant 'You people are so not going to make it.'
  • 77. Of course it was Fluticasone who came through, in the end. But Jessie does have his little way of being thankful. “Mah he-wo” He slobbered on her chin, trying to form the words around their make-out session once again. 'Ugh, somebody get me out of this crazy place!' the stray thought as it fruitlessly searched for a direction to run.
  • 78. What's happening in the front yard? Ah yes, joining our growing family of tacky lawn- ornaments is Fernando the Flamingo. Everybody say hello to Fernando! What do you mean why?! It's the polite thing to do, and we mustn't hurt Fernando's feelings, right boy? “Squawk!”
  • 79. Coming back inside from her harrowing, traumatic experience(and because Jessie returned to his workout), Fluticasone felt the burning desire to express her woes in music. As a result, she maxed-out her creativity skill! “Camp-town races sing this song, do-dah! Do-dah!” she swayed joyously from side to side in time, as she sang the happy tune.
  • 80. Ah, the first, festive snow of the season. And Tootie has come home from work and decided to make the first festive snowman. Still in her festive pantyhose and heels from work. Will she even be able to walk after this, if she takes her time the way she is?
  • 81. Loki came home about the same time, but chose to unwind that evening by looking at the stars. Tootie chose to go shopping at Shop-a-Lot, because she wanted to give a gift. She interrupted her husband's stargazing to give him his. “Look honey, I got us cell-phones! There's a new little store at the shopping center now, isn't that neat?” “We don't keep up with our friends as it is and you got us these things?” Loki asked, cocking his head at her.
  • 82. Jessie's lifetime want is to max-out all 7 skills. Hey that's super-easy! It also means he can go into whatever career we want to stick him in, since his want is nothing career-related. However he seems to be having a hard time finding anything very interesting. I wonder if it has anything to do with his pretty new makeup-job from the barber's?
  • 83. Jessie then met up with Fluticasone for a spaghetti lunch. “Is that your new makeup? It looks so good with your piercings honey!!” she commented delightedly.
  • 84. After lunch Jessie returned to the basement, this time to get a little practice with mechanical skill-building via the surgery-training station. “EEW!! A squishy purple thing! Put it back! Put it back!!” he said to himself. Hmm.. okay so no brain surgery-profession for this guy, I'm guessing? Let's see what's happening elsewhere. . . .
  • 85. A pillow-fight? In the house?? Tootie and Loki should behave themselves a little more than that! Hey, what's that I hear going on downstairs?
  • 86. Surprise! It's wedding-time, brought to you by Rent-a-Deck! “They'll slap it up, then tear it down again, YES it's Rent-a- Deck!” Introducing Jessie Freshnfruity!! Now let's “cake” this thing.
  • 87. “Liquor-time, right ma?” Omeprazole asked Tootie. “No dear, we're waiting to watch the cake-cutting bit first,” Tootie responded sympathetically. “All the way over there?!” Omeprazole complained under her breath. “Oh, just watch the stupid cake-thing and behave yourselves,” Loki mumbled from behind them. “It's so nice to celebrate with family, isn't it dear?” Fluticasone said wistfully to her new husband.
  • 88. On the right-hand side of the deck was the bride and groom to whom nobody was paying any mind: “Heeere comes the choo-choo!” Jessie said, “ chugga-chugga-chugga!” “Ha-ha-ha- *ulp *” Fluticasone gulped as cake was shoved in her bridal food-hole, *hack, hack, cough, choke * On the left, Omeprazole and Hydrocodone were gathered with Tootie , Loki, and some random townie waiting for the toast: “Now champagne?” Omeprazole asked. “Champagne?? Champagne?? The random townie and Hyrdocodone echoed each other, “YES CHAMPAGNE!!”
  • 89. “Coming in for cake?” Loki called back to the guests. “CAKE! YES CAKE!” Hydrocodone and the teen townie switched tracks but continued to echo one another. “N-nope, w-we're s-standing out h-here until we f-f-freeze w-waiting to do our t-t-toast!” Tootie said stubbornly. “You may just,” Loki agreed, “see you two in a little while then!”
  • 90. Upstairs, Omeprazole makes peace with her newly-married sister. “Sorry for that lapse in sober judgement, sis,” she said somewhat guiltily, “still besties?” “It's no problem, I knew you came to see me get hitched, not just as an excuse to get sloshed,” Fluticasone nodded sagely, “hey wait, that dress looks really familiar. . . uh, what do you know, we shop at the same stores! Ha-ha,” she laughed awkwardly.
  • 91. “It is SO great missing work for this, I mean eating my favorite cardboard-flavored cake with these curly little cardboard shavings! And getting a husband?! Puh-lease,” Fluticasone rapturously rambled on. “No DUH,” Omeprazole agreed, “did you do something with your hair? It looks really good today! Not that it isn't great every day. . .”And so it went.
  • 92. And finally, there's that toast that every parched reader has been waiting for. “To the lovely couple, “ Loki began serenely, “may their many wants be granted, may they live long and happily, and may all of their babies be smacked absurdly, inappropriately- hard with the ugly-stick!” “Here-here!” somebody said approvingly. “The best toast EVER!” Somebody else cheered. Indeed, it was a fine moment in an otherwise bat-shorts-crazy wedding celebration.
  • 93. Fluticasone and Jessie rocked out together till late into the evening(on another career- reward-prize from another sibling, no less), when it grew dark and the snow began to fall prettily. They earned a Good Time party-score for it all, too! “What is it mother, an Albino Snow-Chigger invasion?” Hydrocodone asked, her voice wavering hesitantly near fear. “You've seen this before dear, “Tootie explained serenely, “ Everytime a wedding happens, the angels bless the new couple with their strawberry-scented dandruff. Like, alot.”
  • 94. What is this?? Oohh! Jessie and Fluticasone's first real on-the-bed makeout session, and in their pretty new third-floor bedroom too! I fear where this may be leading, but I'm entertained by the prospect of where all of his makeup will end up by tomorrow morning. *eg
  • 95. Wait- one minute they're all hot and heavy and the next they're just flat exhausted? What just happened here?? Did we miss something?? Surely not. They look so cozy we'd better just let them sleep.
  • 96. The next morning, Fluticasone's pancake breakfast did not seem to agree with her. Poor girl's got a stomach bug the very morning after her wedding, apparently! HOW does it get any worse, I ask you?
  • 97. This looks like a really bad virus; Fluticasone has now blown her Freshnfruity chunks two times in a row! What was even the point of eating in the first place?
  • 98. Good ol' Jessie was nice enough to clean up after his wife, who went in to get more pancakes. Lol..
  • 99. All poor Fluticasone wanted to do was put her feet up after Tootie and Loki went off to work, so Jessie looked for ways to entertain himself. “ Yep, that's a fine snow-hombre right there; it doesn't need a another darned thing,” he said proudly to himself . Eh, it's just a minor detail you missed, Jessie- maybe he'll figure it out in Chapter 7, d'ya think? See you there!