Emerging Leader Workshop: Verbal Defense and Influence

2. Conflict Management for
Store Security Professionals
Non-Escalation, De-Escalation
and Crisis Intervention Tactics

3. Critical Tasks
• Understand the Verbal Defense and Influence Framework
• Understand Non-Escalation strategies and Perform Universal Greeting
• Understand and Perform “Showtime” Tactic
• Understand our 10-5-2 Rule and Proxemics
• Understand De-Escalation Strategies and Identify Conflict Triggers and Perform Redirections
• Demonstrate and Perform how to make an initial contact
• Understand Persuasion and Apply Sequence
• Understand the importance of closure

4. This training is designed to prepare professionals
for managing “Real World” situations that will
contain harsh words, racial slurs, and profanity in
potentially violent situations. Therefore, harsh
words and profanity may be shown in videos and
used in demonstrations.
Is everyone ok with this?

5. Vistelar’s Overview

6. Extra! Extra! Plane landing safely!

7. Discussion
Write down a plane crash you have heard
about or witnessed in our workplace?
Heard or Witnessed First Hand

8. Brutal Takedown

10. Methodologies
1.0 Treat People with Dignity by Showing Respect
2.0 Be Alert & Decisive / Respond, Don’t React
3.0 Showtime Mindset
4.0 Proxemics 10 5 2
5.0 Universal Greeting
6.0 Beyond Active Listening
7.0 Redirections
8.0 Persuasion Sequence
9.0 Crisis Intervention
10.0 Take Appropriate Action
11.0 Closure
Page 2 of your workbook

11. 6Cs Framework
1. Context
2. Contact
3. Conflict
4. Crisis
5. Combat
6. Closure

12. 6Cs of Conflict Management Chart
Page 2 of your workbook

13. Treat People with Dignity

14. By Showing Respect – But How?
See the world through their eyes
Listen with all of your senses
Ask and Explain Why
Offer Options let them choose
Give them an opportunity to reconsider
“Treat People Right Card”

15. Universal Greeting

16. Four Great American Questions
1. Who are you?
2. What gives you your authority?
3. Why are we here?
4. What’s in it for me?

17. #1 Who Are We?
Trainer 1 Dave Young
Trainer 2 Gary Klugiewicz
Trainer 3 Tony Sherman
Trainer 4 Pablo Velazquez
Trainer 5 Kati Tillema
Trainer 6 On-Line Al Oelschlaeger
Vistelar
• Consulting and training institute
• Address the entire spectrum of human conflict
• Point-of-impact and non-escalation focused
• Contact professionals & organizational conflict

18. What is Vistelar?
Vistelar is a global consulting and training
institute focused on addressing the entire
spectrum of human conflict at the point of
impact — from interpersonal discord, verbal
abuse and bullying – to crisis communications,
assault and physical violence.

19. #2 What Gives Us Authority?
• 4th Century C.C. – Aristotle’s Rhetoric
• Early 80s Verbal Self Defense Books
• 80s & 90s started in Law Enforcement
• Gary Klugiewicz helped create in State of Wisconsin a mandatory
unified tactical communications system for law enforcement
• Relationship with Dr. Thompson
• 2008 expanded beyond Law Enforcement
• Diverse pool of consultant input

20. #3 Why Are We Here?
• P.O.L.E. Acronym
• Physical
• Organizational
• Legal
• Emotional
Page 4 of your Loss Prevention Manual

21. #4 What’s in it for Me?
-Prevent and Mitigate Violence-
-De-escalate Anger and Resistance-
-Avert Verbal and Physical Attacks-
-Control Crisis and Aggression-
-Improve Future Interactions-
-Look Good on Camera-
-Choreograph Your Response-
-Communicate Concern-
Page 5 of your Loss Prevention Manual

22. Universal Greeting - Introduction
C1. Appropriate Greeting - Excuse Me Sir/Miss
C2. Name and Affiliation – My Name is …I’m Store Security
C3. Reason for Contact - The reason that I am approaching you is;
C4. Relevant Question - Lets discuss this in an area out of public view.
Can you follow me please?
Page 4 of your workbook

23. Activity – Universal Greeting
C1. Good morning, my name is _________________.
C2. I am from (where you work) ________________.
C3. The reason I am approaching you today is that I have been given an
assignment as part of this class.
C4. May I ask your name, the area you work in, and where you
experience conflict in your personal and professional life?
Page 4 your workbook

24. Universal Greeting Applicability
1. Establish a positive initial contact
2. Develop rapport
3. Allow you to gather information

25. Discussion
What are some ways that you can prepare for a
possible conflict situation?
Bottom of Page 5 of workbook

26. Control Your Tone

27. Showtime Tactic

28. Showtime Tactic
1. Say SHOWTIME to yourself
2. Stack Up Your Blocks
3. Breathe in, Pause, Breathe Out
4. Put on Your Appropriate Face
5. Use the Appropriate Self Talk
6. Step Onto the Stage
Page 5 of your workbook

29. Be Their Equal

30. Communication Alignment
Match
Words, Tone, and Non-verbals
to create Congruence – communication without
contradiction

31. Proxemics 10-5-2
Page 6 of your workbook

32. 10-5-2 Rule (Risk and Threat Assessments)
10 Feet – Evaluation / Exit
5 Feet – Communication / Evade
2 Feet – Operation / Escape

33. Activity: Develop Exit Strategies
I forgot
I just got texted, paged or called
I will need to check on something

34. Relative Positioning
INSIDEINSIDE 11
2222
2 1/22 1/22 1/22 1/2
11

35. Five Indicators of a Threat
Tells us that communication is breaking down and or personal safety
might be compromised:
1. Inability to Manage Distance
2. Failing to Controlling Position
3. Monitoring Tone of Voice / Excessive Repetition
4. Noticing Hands Movement
5. Observing Eye Focus
Page 6 of your workbook

36. Proxemics: Overview
1 Hand 2 Hand Emergency Time out
Tactical Thinking Guiding Hands Tactical Sitting
Page 6 of your workbook

37. Conflict Triggers

38. Conflict Triggers
Societal
• Individual, Familial, Social, Community
Universal
• Indignity, Fear, Stress, Vulnerability
Personal
• Hot Buttons – e.g. name calling, slurs

39. Anger Management Debrief
• What took place?
• What groups are present?
- Flight Attendant
- Customer
- Co-worker
- Other passengers
- Air Marshal
• What could have been said by Flight Attendant?
• What could have been said from Sky Marshal?

40. Activity: Improving Performance
Work with your partner to practice a
Universal Greeting to prevent conflict in
an initial contact.
Situation is a customer has waited for 45 minutes
for you to arrive and you are just now making first
contact with them

41. Professional Language

42. Indignity / Dignity Phrases
1. "Calm down"
(Alternative: Can you help me understand what's happening)
2. "I need you to"
(Alternative: “Can I “we “ please…”)
3. "I know just how you must feel"
(Alternative: "I want to help you anyway I can")
4. “As I said before”
(Alternative: “Would you repeat that again, so I can understand”)
5. "You people"
(Alternative: "Will everyone please ...")

43. Crisis Interventions

44. Secondary Goal: Recovery
• Return to normal communication tactics
• Show them respect
• Empathize
• Practice Showtime
• Respect personal space
• Approach them from the side
• Arrange for appropriate follow-up care

45. Crisis Management Strategies
1. Reduce Stimulation
2. Separate & Support
3. Adapt Communications
4. Meet Unmet Needs
5. Mode Calmness
Joel Lashley – Vistelar Consultant

46. Redirections
Page 8 of your workbook

47. Discussion Activities
• “I understand and I’d probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes. Nevertheless, I
have a job to do here.”
• “Is there something I did to make you mad at me? I apologize if I did something wrong,
but I have to ask you not to swear at me.”
• “You seem upset and I’m sorry you feel that way, however …”
• “I understand sir. No one here means to disrespect you; can we start over? I know I want
to…
• “I hear what you are saying, but I am asking you to wait in line so I can be fair to the other
people who have been waiting longer than you.”

48. Activity: Store Security Redirection
Comment:
I do not have to listen to you – you are not police!
Response:
Sir/Ma’am, I can see you are upset, often we are mistaken for police?
I am just here to return the items to the store…

49. Activity: Store Manager Redirection
Comment:
What in the world, took you so long! Did you stop and take a nap
before getting here!
Response:
Sir/Ma’am, I just returned from being outside, I am here now how
can I assist you!

50. 2) Divert Attention
Purpose is to take their minds off of their thought process when they
start to become agitated or verbally combative;
• “Your last name sound familiar – did you go to school out here?”
• “If they are wearing a sports jersey – ask how their team did this
year?
• “Let me ask you a question — do you like bananas or apples?”

51. Activity
Witnessed first hand or heard?
Write a redirection using your conflict trigger
1. “You’re only talking to me because I am”
Black/White/Red/Yellow/Green
2. “The Store is not going to miss this”
3. “I do not have to listen to you, because you are NOT a cop”
Page 8 of your workbook

52. Activity: Practice Initial Contact Script
C1. Good Afternoon.
C2. I am __________________from the_______________________.
C3. The reason that I approached you today is that I noticed that you were wandering in the hallways – looking a little bit lost.
C.4. May I help you? Pause.
I was trying to find the _BUSINESS OFFICE__________________.
CL1/CL2 (Optional, if appropriate because identification is required)
Response is dependent on situation.
CL3. You’re in luck. The _ _BUSINESS OFFICE is kind of hard to find but I can show you the way.
That would be great.
Let me show you how to get there.
I really appreciate your help.
CL4. There’s the _ _BUSINESS OFFICE Is there anything else that I can do to assist you?
No, you have been a great help. Thank you.
I am glad that I could be of assistance.
Page 9 of your workbook

53. Time to take a break
Please return at
2:25 PM

54. Persuasion Sequence
Page 10 of your workbook

55. Verbal Intensity
• Search Talk – Normal conversational tone
• Persuasion – soft, soothing tone
• Light Control Talk – insistent tone
• Heavy Control Talk – Issue ultimatums
- Daniel Vega, Crisis Intervention Specialist

56. Persuasion Sequence
We use this tactic when;
• Question What you Said…
• Resist Your Request…
• Refuse Your Request…

57. Persuasion Sequence Application
After you ask someone to do something and they question you, become resistive or
refuse;
1. Explain why — Confirm understanding
2. Offer options – Let them choose
3. Give a them an opportunity to reconsider; then take appropriate action

58. Discussion: Persuasion Sequence Components
P1. Set Context – Tell them why –
a) Explain the Rule or Policy or Law
b) Explain the Reason for the Rule or Policy or Law
c) Ask if they Understand the Rule or Policy or Law

59. Discussion: Persuasion Sequence Components
P2. Present Options
a) Present Positive Options
b) Present Negative Options
c) Put a final emphasis on the Positive

60. Discussion: Persuasion Sequence Components
P3. Give a second chance – (allows them to reconsider)
Is there anything I can say, (at this time)…pause… to
get you to ………………….., I’d like to think so?

61. How to start the conversation over
Use
The Rewind Button …
I apologize, can we start over?

62. Closure
Page 11 of your workbook

63. Group Discussion
Why is closure an important
final step for any interaction?

64. Activity – Write it down
Lets role play
You get a chance to change the ending.
What would you say if you were the
responding Store Security and when you arrive
you saw the store Manager and another Store
Security Staff helping hold a shoplifter on the
ground who is out of control?

65. Post Incident Closure Questions:
1. Check emotional stability
2. Confirm their mental level of alertness
3. Verify any physical injuries

66. Activity: Closure
Develop and practice your
personal Closure Statements

67. Applying VDI Principles
1. Applying Non-Escalation Strategies
1. Approaching unknown person(s)
2. Applying De-Escalation Strategies
1. Approaching person(s) in Conflict/Crisis(Yelling)
3. Applying a Redirection
1. Dealing with a verbally abusive contact
4. Applying Persuasion
1. When someone says “No”.

68. Combine Verbal with the Physical

69. 6Cs of Conflict Management Chart

70. What did you learn today?
Add your three takeaways from
today to your list?
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