A 79-year-old man was asked by his doctor to provide a semen sample as part of a physical exam. The next day, he returned the empty jar to the doctor. When asked what happened, the man explained that neither he, his wife, nor their neighbor Arleen were able to open the jar to collect the sample. The doctor was shocked to learn that the man had asked his neighbor for help with the task.

1. Elderly Physical Exam (老人體檢) [Humor Essays]
[幽默小品：中文由老編西歪翻譯]
A 79-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as
part of his physical exam.
醫生要 79 歲的老先生取一點精子，這是他體檢的一部分。
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and
bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”
醫生給了他一個小罐子說：「將這個罐子帶回家，明天把精液樣本帶回
來。」
The next day the 79-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office
and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.
第二天 79 歲的老先生到診所，將罐子交給醫生，罐子是空的和前天一

2. 模一樣。
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, “Well, doc,
it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
醫生問這是怎麼回事？該名男子解釋說，「喔！醫生，是這樣的，剛開
始我用右手，但是沒有成功。然後我試著用我的左手，但仍然沒用。
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with
her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.
然後我向妻子求救。她試著用右手，然後左手，仍然不行。她又嘗試用
嘴，先用牙齒，然後把假牙拿掉，依然無效。
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it
between her knees, but still nothing.”
我們甚至叫了隔壁的艾琳女士也試過，她先用雙手，然後腋窩，她甚
至試著在膝蓋之間擠壓，但是仍然徒勞無功。」
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
醫生驚呆了！「你叫你的鄰居？」
The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”.
老先生回答，「是的！我們沒人能把罐子打開。」
Now What Were You Thinking?
現在，你在想什麼？

3. [Note] 原文取材自下列網頁。
This article is derived from the following website, the Chinese
translation by changcy0326.
https://www.facebook.com/DR.for.LOVE/posts/488299834585076