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Developing Healthy Support Networks
This document discusses developing healthy support networks and interpersonal effectiveness. It defines interpersonal effectiveness and identifies techniques for improving relationships, including applying the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. These habits include being proactive, putting others first, seeking to understand others, and synergizing strengths. The document also discusses temperament types and communication skills like DEAR MAN and GIVE that can help strengthen relationships and find new ones. The overall message is that healthy relationships are important for well-being and can be developed through self-awareness, effective communication, and understanding others.
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Developing Healthy Support Networks
- 1. Developing Healthy Support Networks Presentedby: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 1
- 2. Objectives Define interpersonaleffectiveness Identify barriers to interpersonal effectiveness Examine the goals of interpersonal effectiveness Review techniques for improving interpersonal effectiveness Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 2
- 3. Developing Relationships Relationshipsare our greatest buffer against stress The first relationship to develop is that with yourself characterized by self-esteem, self-respect and self-compassion. Relationships require attention and a clear awareness of what you want/need/expect from other people and yourself. Make full use of opportunities to interact with others Interact with people who share similar interests and generally respond positively to you. Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 3
- 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness Interpersonaleffectiveness is the ability to Get others to do things you want them to do Get others to take you seriously Effectively say no to unwanted requests Strengthen current relationships Find and build new relationships End hopeless relationships Create and maintain balance Balance acceptance and change Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 4
- 5. Interpersonal Effectiveness with7 Habits Be proactive Communicate often and effectively Know what you need and want in life and from others Know what your partner needs** Believe that you deserve what you want Begin with the end in mind What does a good relationship look like? What does it NOT look like? Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 5
- 6. Interpersonal Effectiveness with7 Habits Put first things first Prioritize your partner and yourself Don’t sacrifice long term goals for short term relief/urges Think win-win Give up always being right Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 6
- 7. Seek Firstto Understand, Then to Be Understood Be aware of your impact on others Pay attention to transference issues Pay attention with interest and curiosity Avoid assuming what other people think Stop multitasking Stay in the present instead of planning your response Develop good communication skills Be open to new information Let go of judgmental thoughts about others Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com Interpersonal Effectiveness with 7 Habits 7
- 8. Interpersonal Effectiveness with7 Habits Synergize Combine your strengths** Ensure there is give and take Balance your needs and the other person’s needs Sharpen the Saw Dedicate quality time Take time away Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 8
- 9. Temperament In orderto understand what you and others need and effectively communicate and synergize, it is helpful to understand temperament Environment/Socialization Conceptualization Making Meaning/Values Time Management Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 9
- 10. Temperament Extrovert Are expansive;less passionate Easy to get to know Like meeting new people Would rather figure things out while they are talking Know what is going on around them rather than inside them Introvert Are intense and passionate Difficult to get to know Exert effort to meet new people Figure things out before they talk Are more likely to know what is going on inside them Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 10
- 11. Temperament Sensing Are practicaland realistic Prefer facts and live in the real world Would rather do than think Focus on practical, concrete problems See the details and may ignore the big picture Believe “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” iNtuitive Are imaginative dreamers Prefer abstraction, inspiration, insights Would rather think than do Focus on complicated abstract problems See the big picture but miss the details Believe anything can be improved Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 11
- 12. Temperament Thinking Want toapply objective principles Value objectivity above sentiment May think that those who are sentimental take things too personally May argue both sides of an issue for mental stimulation Feeling Want to apply values and ethics Value sentiment above objectivity Think that those preferring objectivity are insensitive Prefer a to agree with those around them Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 12
- 13. Temperament Judging Plan ahead Thrive on order Maybe hasty in making decisions Time and deadline oriented Thinks those preferring spontaneity are too unpredictable Excellent planners. May not appreciate or make use of things which are not planned or expected Perceiving Adapt as they go Thrive on spontaneity May fail to make decisions Always think there’s plenty of time Think that those who are not spontaneous are too rigid Good at handling unplanned events, but may not make affective choices among the possibilities. Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 13
- 14. OTHER SKILLS Copyright 2018AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 14
- 15. Communication Skills: DEARMAN Describe in specific, objective terms Express feelings and opinions using “I” statements Assert Ask for what you want Don’t expect mind reading Reinforce by explaining the benefits to the other person ahead of time Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 15
- 16. Communication Skills: DEARMAN Mindfulness Stay focused on your goal Ignore diversion techniques-blaming, magnification, justification or switching topics Appear confident in verbal and nonverbal behavior Negotiate Offer and ask for other solutions Compromise Say no but offer alternatives Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 16
- 17. Communication Skills-GIVE Gentle—Noattacks, threats, manipulation, judging (should, shouldn’t, moralizing), no sneering, smirking, eye rolling, name calling Interested Listen Pay attention to nonverbals (yours and theirs) Maintain eye contact Try to unhook from your emotions Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 17
- 18. Communication Skills-GIVE Validate Pay attention Reflect back Pay attention to what is not being said Understand how the other person’s reactions and thoughts make sense based on their past and present Acknowledge the valid Show equality treating the other person as an equal not as fragile, incompetent or domineering Easy manner Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 18
- 19. Finding New Relationships Look for people with similar interests Work on conversational skills Mentally rehearse asking open-ended questions Identify two things you could make small talk about Find common ground: What are your interests? Skillfully self-disclose (be aware of disinhibition) Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 19
- 20. Summary Healthy relationshipsare vital to a healthy life By becoming interpersonally effective, people can better get their needs met and meet the needs of others The 7 Habits can serve as a reminder for important things to do to build healthy relationships By understanding temperament people can better understand themselves and others and communicate and synergize in meaningful ways Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 20
Editor's Notes
- #12 Overview of Keirsey's Four Temperaments Temperament is a configuration of observable personality traits, such as habits of communication, patterns of action, and sets of characteristic attitudes, values, and talents. It also encompasses personal needs, the kinds of contributions that individuals make in the workplace, and the roles they play in society. Dr. David Keirsey has identified mankind's four basic temperaments as the Artisan, the Guardian, the Rational, and the Idealist. Each temperament has its own unique qualities and shortcomings, strengths and challenges. What accounts for these differences? To use the idea of Temperament most effectively, it is important to understand that the four temperaments are not simply arbitrary collections of characteristics, but spring from an interaction of the two basic dimensions of human behavior: our communication and our action, our words and our deeds, or, simply, what we say and what we do. Communication: Concrete vs. Abstract First, people naturally think and talk about what they are interested in, and if you listen carefully to people's conversations, you find two broad but distinct areas of subject matter. Some people talk primarily about the external, concrete world of everyday reality: facts and figures, work and play, home and family, news, sports and weather -- all the who-what-when-where-and how much's of life. Other people talk primarily about the internal, abstract world of ideas: theories and conjectures, dreams and philosophies, beliefs and fantasies --all the why's, if's, and what-might-be's of life. At times, of course, everyone addresses both sorts of topics, but in your daily lives, and for the most part, Concrete people talk about reality, while Abstract people talk about ideas. Action: Utilitarian vs. Cooperative Second, at every turn people are trying to accomplish your goals, and if you watch closely how people go about your business, you see that there are two fundamentally opposite types of action. Some people act primarily in a utilitarian or pragmatic manner, that is, they do what gets results, what achieves your objectives as effectively or efficiently as possible, and only afterwards do they check to see if they are observing the rules or going through proper channels. Other people act primarily in a cooperative or socially acceptable manner, that is, they try to do the right thing, in keeping with agreed upon social rules, conventions, and codes of conduct, and only later do they concern themselves with the effectiveness of your actions. These two ways of acting can overlap, certainly, but as they lead your lives, Utilitarian people instinctively, and for the most part, do what works, while Cooperative people do what's right. As Concrete Cooperators, Guardians speak mostly of your duties and responsibilities, of what they can keep an eye on and take good care of, and they're careful to obey the laws, follow the rules, and respect the rights of others. As Abstract Cooperators, Idealists speak mostly of what they hope for and imagine might be possible for people, and they want to act in good conscience, always trying to reach your goals without compromising your personal code of ethics. As Concrete Utilitarians, Artisans speak mostly about what they see right in front of them, about what they can get your hands on, and they will do whatever works, whatever gives them a quick, effective payoff, even if they have to bend the rules. As Abstract Utilitarians, Rationals speak mostly of what new problems intrigue them and what new solutions they envision, and always pragmatic, they act as efficiently as possible to achieve your objectives, ignoring arbitrary rules and conventions if need be.