Developing Healthy
Support Networks
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 1
Objectives
 Define interpersonal effectiveness
 Identify barriers to interpersonal
effectiveness
 Examine the goals of interpersonal
effectiveness
 Review techniques for improving
interpersonal effectiveness
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 2
Developing Relationships
 Relationships are our greatest buffer against stress
 The first relationship to develop is that with
yourself characterized by self-esteem, self-respect
and self-compassion.
 Relationships require attention and a clear
awareness of what you want/need/expect from
other people and yourself.
 Make full use of opportunities to interact with
others
 Interact with people who share similar interests and
generally respond positively to you.
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 3
Interpersonal Effectiveness
 Interpersonal effectiveness is the ability to
 Get others to do things you want them to do
 Get others to take you seriously
 Effectively say no to unwanted requests
 Strengthen current relationships
 Find and build new relationships
 End hopeless relationships
 Create and maintain balance
 Balance acceptance and change
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 4
Interpersonal Effectiveness with 7 Habits
 Be proactive
 Communicate often and effectively
 Know what you need and want in life and from others
 Know what your partner needs**
 Believe that you deserve what you want
 Begin with the end in mind
 What does a good relationship look like?
 What does it NOT look like?
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com
5
Interpersonal Effectiveness with 7 Habits
 Put first things first
 Prioritize your partner and yourself
 Don’t sacrifice long term goals for short term
relief/urges
 Think win-win
 Give up always being right
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com
6
 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
 Be aware of your impact on others
 Pay attention to transference issues
 Pay attention with interest and curiosity
 Avoid assuming what other people think
 Stop multitasking
 Stay in the present instead of planning your response
 Develop good communication skills
 Be open to new information
 Let go of judgmental thoughts about others
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com
Interpersonal Effectiveness with 7 Habits
7
Interpersonal Effectiveness with 7 Habits
 Synergize
 Combine your strengths**
 Ensure there is give and take
 Balance your needs and the other person’s needs
 Sharpen the Saw
 Dedicate quality time
 Take time away
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 8
Temperament
 In order to understand what you and others need and
effectively communicate and synergize, it is helpful to
understand temperament
 Environment/Socialization
 Conceptualization
 Making Meaning/Values
 Time Management
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 9
Temperament
Extrovert
 Are expansive; less
passionate
 Easy to get to know
 Like meeting new people
 Would rather figure
things out while they are
talking
 Know what is going on
around them rather than
inside them
Introvert
 Are intense and passionate
 Difficult to get to know
 Exert effort to meet new
people
 Figure things out before
they talk
 Are more likely to know
what is going on inside
them
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 10
Temperament
Sensing
 Are practical and realistic
 Prefer facts and live in the real
world
 Would rather do than think
 Focus on practical, concrete
problems
 See the details and may ignore
the big picture
 Believe “if it isn’t broken,
don’t fix it”
iNtuitive
 Are imaginative dreamers
 Prefer abstraction, inspiration,
insights
 Would rather think than do
 Focus on complicated abstract
problems
 See the big picture but miss the
details
 Believe anything can be
improved
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 11
Temperament
Thinking
 Want to apply objective
principles
 Value objectivity above
sentiment
 May think that those who are
sentimental take things too
personally
 May argue both sides of an
issue for mental stimulation
Feeling
 Want to apply values and
ethics
 Value sentiment above
objectivity
 Think that those preferring
objectivity are insensitive
 Prefer a to agree with those
around them
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 12
Temperament
Judging
 Plan ahead
 Thrive on order
 Maybe hasty in making decisions
 Time and deadline oriented
 Thinks those preferring
spontaneity are too
unpredictable
 Excellent planners. May not
appreciate or make use of things
which are not planned or
expected
Perceiving
 Adapt as they go
 Thrive on spontaneity
 May fail to make decisions
 Always think there’s plenty of
time
 Think that those who are not
spontaneous are too rigid
 Good at handling unplanned
events, but may not make
affective choices among the
possibilities.
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 13
OTHER SKILLS
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 14
Communication Skills: DEAR MAN
 Describe in specific, objective terms
 Express feelings and opinions using “I” statements
 Assert
 Ask for what you want
 Don’t expect mind reading
 Reinforce by explaining the benefits to the other person
ahead of time
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 15
Communication Skills: DEAR MAN
 Mindfulness
 Stay focused on your goal
 Ignore diversion techniques-blaming, magnification, justification
or switching topics
 Appear confident in verbal and nonverbal behavior
 Negotiate
 Offer and ask for other solutions
 Compromise
 Say no but offer alternatives
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 16
Communication Skills-GIVE
 Gentle—No attacks, threats, manipulation, judging
(should, shouldn’t, moralizing), no sneering, smirking,
eye rolling, name calling
 Interested
 Listen
 Pay attention to nonverbals (yours and theirs)
 Maintain eye contact
 Try to unhook from your emotions
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 17
Communication Skills-GIVE
 Validate
 Pay attention
 Reflect back
 Pay attention to what is not being said
 Understand how the other person’s reactions and
thoughts make sense based on their past and present
 Acknowledge the valid
 Show equality treating the other person as an equal not
as fragile, incompetent or domineering
 Easy manner
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 18
Finding New Relationships
 Look for people with similar interests
 Work on conversational skills
 Mentally rehearse asking open-ended questions
 Identify two things you could make small talk about
 Find common ground: What are your interests?
 Skillfully self-disclose (be aware of disinhibition)
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 19
Summary
 Healthy relationships are vital to a healthy life
 By becoming interpersonally effective, people can
better get their needs met and meet the needs of
others
 The 7 Habits can serve as a reminder for important
things to do to build healthy relationships
 By understanding temperament people can better
understand themselves and others and
communicate and synergize in meaningful ways
Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 20

Developing Healthy Support Networks

  • 1.
    Developing Healthy Support Networks Presentedby: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 1
  • 2.
    Objectives  Define interpersonaleffectiveness  Identify barriers to interpersonal effectiveness  Examine the goals of interpersonal effectiveness  Review techniques for improving interpersonal effectiveness Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 2
  • 3.
    Developing Relationships  Relationshipsare our greatest buffer against stress  The first relationship to develop is that with yourself characterized by self-esteem, self-respect and self-compassion.  Relationships require attention and a clear awareness of what you want/need/expect from other people and yourself.  Make full use of opportunities to interact with others  Interact with people who share similar interests and generally respond positively to you. Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 3
  • 4.
    Interpersonal Effectiveness  Interpersonaleffectiveness is the ability to  Get others to do things you want them to do  Get others to take you seriously  Effectively say no to unwanted requests  Strengthen current relationships  Find and build new relationships  End hopeless relationships  Create and maintain balance  Balance acceptance and change Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 4
  • 5.
    Interpersonal Effectiveness with7 Habits  Be proactive  Communicate often and effectively  Know what you need and want in life and from others  Know what your partner needs**  Believe that you deserve what you want  Begin with the end in mind  What does a good relationship look like?  What does it NOT look like? Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 5
  • 6.
    Interpersonal Effectiveness with7 Habits  Put first things first  Prioritize your partner and yourself  Don’t sacrifice long term goals for short term relief/urges  Think win-win  Give up always being right Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 6
  • 7.
     Seek Firstto Understand, Then to Be Understood  Be aware of your impact on others  Pay attention to transference issues  Pay attention with interest and curiosity  Avoid assuming what other people think  Stop multitasking  Stay in the present instead of planning your response  Develop good communication skills  Be open to new information  Let go of judgmental thoughts about others Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com Interpersonal Effectiveness with 7 Habits 7
  • 8.
    Interpersonal Effectiveness with7 Habits  Synergize  Combine your strengths**  Ensure there is give and take  Balance your needs and the other person’s needs  Sharpen the Saw  Dedicate quality time  Take time away Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 8
  • 9.
    Temperament  In orderto understand what you and others need and effectively communicate and synergize, it is helpful to understand temperament  Environment/Socialization  Conceptualization  Making Meaning/Values  Time Management Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 9
  • 10.
    Temperament Extrovert  Are expansive;less passionate  Easy to get to know  Like meeting new people  Would rather figure things out while they are talking  Know what is going on around them rather than inside them Introvert  Are intense and passionate  Difficult to get to know  Exert effort to meet new people  Figure things out before they talk  Are more likely to know what is going on inside them Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 10
  • 11.
    Temperament Sensing  Are practicaland realistic  Prefer facts and live in the real world  Would rather do than think  Focus on practical, concrete problems  See the details and may ignore the big picture  Believe “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” iNtuitive  Are imaginative dreamers  Prefer abstraction, inspiration, insights  Would rather think than do  Focus on complicated abstract problems  See the big picture but miss the details  Believe anything can be improved Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 11
  • 12.
    Temperament Thinking  Want toapply objective principles  Value objectivity above sentiment  May think that those who are sentimental take things too personally  May argue both sides of an issue for mental stimulation Feeling  Want to apply values and ethics  Value sentiment above objectivity  Think that those preferring objectivity are insensitive  Prefer a to agree with those around them Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 12
  • 13.
    Temperament Judging  Plan ahead Thrive on order  Maybe hasty in making decisions  Time and deadline oriented  Thinks those preferring spontaneity are too unpredictable  Excellent planners. May not appreciate or make use of things which are not planned or expected Perceiving  Adapt as they go  Thrive on spontaneity  May fail to make decisions  Always think there’s plenty of time  Think that those who are not spontaneous are too rigid  Good at handling unplanned events, but may not make affective choices among the possibilities. Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 13
  • 14.
    OTHER SKILLS Copyright 2018AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 14
  • 15.
    Communication Skills: DEARMAN  Describe in specific, objective terms  Express feelings and opinions using “I” statements  Assert  Ask for what you want  Don’t expect mind reading  Reinforce by explaining the benefits to the other person ahead of time Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 15
  • 16.
    Communication Skills: DEARMAN  Mindfulness  Stay focused on your goal  Ignore diversion techniques-blaming, magnification, justification or switching topics  Appear confident in verbal and nonverbal behavior  Negotiate  Offer and ask for other solutions  Compromise  Say no but offer alternatives Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 16
  • 17.
    Communication Skills-GIVE  Gentle—Noattacks, threats, manipulation, judging (should, shouldn’t, moralizing), no sneering, smirking, eye rolling, name calling  Interested  Listen  Pay attention to nonverbals (yours and theirs)  Maintain eye contact  Try to unhook from your emotions Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 17
  • 18.
    Communication Skills-GIVE  Validate Pay attention  Reflect back  Pay attention to what is not being said  Understand how the other person’s reactions and thoughts make sense based on their past and present  Acknowledge the valid  Show equality treating the other person as an equal not as fragile, incompetent or domineering  Easy manner Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 18
  • 19.
    Finding New Relationships Look for people with similar interests  Work on conversational skills  Mentally rehearse asking open-ended questions  Identify two things you could make small talk about  Find common ground: What are your interests?  Skillfully self-disclose (be aware of disinhibition) Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 19
  • 20.
    Summary  Healthy relationshipsare vital to a healthy life  By becoming interpersonally effective, people can better get their needs met and meet the needs of others  The 7 Habits can serve as a reminder for important things to do to build healthy relationships  By understanding temperament people can better understand themselves and others and communicate and synergize in meaningful ways Copyright 2018 AllCEUs.com All Rights Reserved. Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com 20

Editor's Notes

  • #12 Overview of Keirsey's Four Temperaments Temperament is a configuration of observable personality traits, such as habits of communication, patterns of action, and sets of characteristic attitudes, values, and talents. It also encompasses personal needs, the kinds of contributions that individuals make in the workplace, and the roles they play in society. Dr. David Keirsey has identified mankind's four basic temperaments as the Artisan, the Guardian, the Rational, and the Idealist. Each temperament has its own unique qualities and shortcomings, strengths and challenges. What accounts for these differences? To use the idea of Temperament most effectively, it is important to understand that the four temperaments are not simply arbitrary collections of characteristics, but spring from an interaction of the two basic dimensions of human behavior: our communication and our action, our words and our deeds, or, simply, what we say and what we do. Communication: Concrete vs. Abstract First, people naturally think and talk about what they are interested in, and if you listen carefully to people's conversations, you find two broad but distinct areas of subject matter. Some people talk primarily about the external, concrete world of everyday reality: facts and figures, work and play, home and family, news, sports and weather -- all the who-what-when-where-and how much's of life. Other people talk primarily about the internal, abstract world of ideas: theories and conjectures, dreams and philosophies, beliefs and fantasies --all the why's, if's, and what-might-be's of life. At times, of course, everyone addresses both sorts of topics, but in your daily lives, and for the most part, Concrete people talk about reality, while Abstract people talk about ideas. Action: Utilitarian vs. Cooperative Second, at every turn people are trying to accomplish your goals, and if you watch closely how people go about your business, you see that there are two fundamentally opposite types of action. Some people act primarily in a utilitarian or pragmatic manner, that is, they do what gets results, what achieves your objectives as effectively or efficiently as possible, and only afterwards do they check to see if they are observing the rules or going through proper channels. Other people act primarily in a cooperative or socially acceptable manner, that is, they try to do the right thing, in keeping with agreed upon social rules, conventions, and codes of conduct, and only later do they concern themselves with the effectiveness of your actions. These two ways of acting can overlap, certainly, but as they lead your lives, Utilitarian people instinctively, and for the most part, do what works, while Cooperative people do what's right. As Concrete Cooperators, Guardians speak mostly of your duties and responsibilities, of what they can keep an eye on and take good care of, and they're careful to obey the laws, follow the rules, and respect the rights of others. As Abstract Cooperators, Idealists speak mostly of what they hope for and imagine might be possible for people, and they want to act in good conscience, always trying to reach your goals without compromising your personal code of ethics. As Concrete Utilitarians, Artisans speak mostly about what they see right in front of them, about what they can get your hands on, and they will do whatever works, whatever gives them a quick, effective payoff, even if they have to bend the rules. As Abstract Utilitarians, Rationals speak mostly of what new problems intrigue them and what new solutions they envision, and always pragmatic, they act as efficiently as possible to achieve your objectives, ignoring arbitrary rules and conventions if need be.