At the wedding of a young migrant couple in the 1960’s the best man delivered an unexpected gift. This gift was readily accepted, and yet the consequences created a trap. In this article find out what the career wrecker moment was and the ultimate outcome as it played out decades later.

1. Delegation and Youth
By: Madelaine Cohen

2. In 1960 a young migrant couple from Europe were married in Sydney. In
these times it was customary to ask a man who you looked up to and who
you thought could lead and support you in times of need to be your Best
Man. A Best Man was not your closest buddy who knew how best to ensure
you were hammered on your bucks night and could articulate the worst of
you in a wedding speech.
At this wedding more than fifty years ago the young couple were only
slightly older than a school leaver and were both already working hard for a
living, she in a bank as a secretary and he as a chef. The Best Man stood up
to make his speech and he offered the couple the best wedding gift he could
think of. He said to them,
“I have bought you a gift, a material possession of crystal and gold to
commemorate this day. It is worthless in comparison with the best gift I can
give you and this gift is my advice… If you want to be successful beyond
your wildest dreams, learn how to be effective at delegating.”
This sounds like incredibly good advice, I agree, except there’s a
fundamental problem. Delegation being led by youth is so often a troubling
web of misunderstandings.

3. Painting the picture, you’re a smart, intelligent 21 year old new to the
workforce and you want to be successful. Taking on the advice of this Best
Man you show your skills by delegating and taking a leading role with your
colleagues who range in age from 1 month to 30 years older than you. What
happens?! You are considered a troublesome, self righteous upstart who
should not be delegating to people older than you, on the basis that they are
well, older than you. Your colleagues hate you and you become frustrated so
you leave your job and vow to never stick your neck out again. Starting your
next job, you instead decide the pathway to leadership success is to be
prepared to do everything and never again delegate a task that you are
capable of doing yourself, soon enough you find yourself leaving work late,
becoming increasingly isolated and the theme in your workplace sees most
people lurching from one crisis to another.
Fifty years ago and today, if a young staff member in an organisation
attempts to lead and delegate there is a very good chance this will not go
down well and will upset the status quo of those who believe that age
determines leadership and seniority. Human nature shows that it’s insane to
repeat a behaviour or approach and expect a different result, so many a
young and very capable leader sees him or herself as much less than the
person he or she really is and complies with a working life of eggshells and
stunted potential. On the other hand these leaders can also take the
approach of being super achievers and burning themselves out with
overwork and a lack of life balance that their boss relishes until they are
literally spat out because they have become so bitter with not being
recognised and rewarded that the management of their organisation sees
their irrepressible sarcastic outbursts as a sign of their poor attitude not the
repression the organisation has delivered. I have spoken to many leaders
who in employment found their choice was either sit under the radar of
showing who they really are or effort beyond what is humanly possible to
earn stripes that are never awarded. What lies beneath this is leadership in
the form of being great at delegating, mistimed in youth and the injury was
so harsh the patient never recovered.
The answer for a sensible, smart, hard working young leader is to combine
free enterprise with employment, until incomes are realised enabling the
young leader to “retire” from employment and forge ahead in their own
business. Be careful savvy entrepreneurial types to avoid a job trap based
on age equals autonomy. This issue can be a career wrecker. Instead look
for measured and well tested ways to use your skills and parallel paid
employment with a move into free enterprise where the scope for you to
grow and earn is limitless.