Conversational Messages in Interpersonal Communication

1. CONVERSATIONAL MESSAGES
Disclosure • Conv. Management • Conv. Process • Repair Strategies

2. the things about oneself a person
voluntarily tells another person and
which the latter one would be unlikely
to know or discover from other
sources
- Pearce & Sharp, 1973, p. 414
“
“
SELF-DISCLOSURE:
Communicating the self

3. SOCIAL PENETRATIONTHEORY
The “Onion Model” (Altman &Taylor, 1973)

4. SOCIAL PENETRATIONTHEORY
Breadth:
number of topics
Depth:
intimacy level,
degree to which
you penetrate
the core
Explains what happens when a relationship develops (Altman &Taylor, 1973)
Self-disclosure
varies in breadth
and depth
Public Layer
Personal Layers
Core Layer

5. Acquaintance
peripheral items
Friend
Lover/Parent
private info
TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP & DISCLOSURE
Self-disclosure varies among relationships

6. DISCLOSURE & RELATIONAL DEVELOPMENT
As mutual SD increases
in breadth & depth
Relationship becomes more intimate
Reciprocity of SD is normative

7. FACEBOOK
ACTIVITY
Discussion&

8. Refer to your list of 20 random things

9. Map your disclosures onto the onion.
Mostly positive/negative?
How many breadth areas?
How intimate?

10. “The trajectory for most
relationships is to non-intimacy”
- Steve Duck in Relating to Others
Non-intimacy

11. ?
SELF-DISCLOSURE LEADS TO LIKING
LIKING CAUSES SELF-DISCLOSURE
LIKING RESULTS FROM SELF-DISCLOSURE

12. 1.We like people who disclose to us
• Self-disclosure causes liking, but not as much as we think
• relationship between actual s-d and liking is not as strong as that
between perceived s-d and liking
2.We disclose more to people we like
3.We like others because we disclose to them
• Higher levels of voluntary s-d lead to greater liking of target

13. - HeraldTribune, Sept. 08, 2008
Many of the avidTwitterers, Flickrers and Facebook users I
interviewed described an unexpected side-effect of constant
self-disclosure.The act of stopping several times a day to
observe what you're feeling or thinking can become, after
weeks and weeks, a sort of philosophical act. It's like the Greek
dictum to "know thyself," or the therapeutic concept of
mindfulness. (Indeed, the question that floats eternally at the
top ofTwitter's Web site — "What are you doing?" — can
come to seem existentially freighted.What are you doing?)
Having an audience can make the self-reflection even more
acute, since, as my interviewees noted, they're trying to
describe their activities in a way that is not only accurate but
also interesting to others: the status update as a literary form.
REWARDS OF SD:

14. Risks: You cannot undisclose (comm. is irreversible)

15. •Tell others increasingly private/intimate info
•Why?
•To indicate liking
•To develop relationship
•To induce disclosure
RISKS: VULNERABILITY

16. ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS
Theories of Relational Development
Social PresenceTheory • Social Information ProcessingTheory

17. Relationships in the age of Facebook

18. Ch. 6 of Digital Nation
Relational Development in the Digital Age

19. BANDWIDTH DIFFERENCES
Channels vary in the number of message cues they allow
• Paralanguage
• Facial expressions
• Eye-contact
• Etc.

20. SOCIAL PRESENCETHEORY
• Number of message cues exchanged (bandwidth) influences
degree to which comm. is personal or impersonal
Short,Williams & Christie, 1976
Assumptions:
impersonal
reduced social
presence
High
Cues
Low
Cues
personal
great social
presence

21. TheTV Hologram: Increased Social Presence?
2008 Presidential Election

22. Degree to which a person is perceived as a ‘real person’ in
mediated communication. Degree of awareness of the person

23. SOCIAL INFO. PROCESSING
• Communicators attempt to reduce uncertainty
• They use available cues to do so
• Media capacity affect rate of social info exchange
• Social info processing takes longer in CMC
Walther, 1992
Assumptions:

24. THE HYPERPERSONAL EFFECT
• Receiver Processes:
Social identity model of deindividuation effects (SIDE)
When receivers perceive a social vs. individual identity =>
overattributions of similarity, conformity to norms
• Sender Processes:
mindful construction, no nonverbal leakage, editing
• Channel Processes:
Disentrainment: when time is short focus on task, not social
maintenance.When time stops, no impediment
• Feedback Processes:
Behavioral confirmation: feedback loop
When online relationships become more personal than FTF relationships

25. 90s
21st Century

26. ?
SELF-PRESENTATION ONLINE
WHICH ISTHE REAL SELF
ONLINE SELF OR REAL LIFE SELF

27. Ch. 3 & 5 of Growing up Online
Expression of Self - Relationships built on true self?

28. TRANSCRIPT
ACTIVITY
Discussion &

29. 1. How does Barry try to escalate the relationship with Julia?
2. Do Julia & Barry vary in the breadth & depth of their
respective self-disclosures?
3. What are some clues in Julia’s discourse that may have
given her away as a bot?
4. Would you feel betrayed if you were Barry? Why/why not?
Internet communication with old flames tends to be a serious
violation to most marriages, even without a physical affair, Doty said.
When the spouse finds out, there is a sense of betrayal.
“
“

30. ONLINE ID
• ALICE
• JabberWacky
• Mark
Famous Chatterbots

31. CONVERSATIONAL PROBLEMS
Prevention • Repair

32. POLITENESS & FACEWORK
Erwin Goffman: On Facework; Presentation of Self in Everyday Life
• Face: an image of self displayed in a particular
encounter (socially situated identity)
• Face Threat: when a person’s desired identity
in a particular interaction is challenged
• Creates discomfort & embarrassment
• Face Needs: two universal ones
• Positive Face: desire to be liked/respected
• Negative Face: desire to be autonomous
• Face Dilemma: Satisfying one threatens other

33. 1. Preventive facework:
• Avoiding face threatening topics & changing subjects
• Pretending not to notice
• Disclaimers: used to save own face
• Politeness: used to save other’s face (directness/indirectness)
2. Corrective facework: repair face damage
• Avoidance (i.e. ignoring predicament & continuing)
• Humor
• Excuses: explanation
• Apologies: expression of regret
• Accounts (i.e. explaining inappropriate behavior)
FACEWORK
Manage face dilemma and counteract face threats to self & others

34. Corrective Facework after a “FaceThreat”

35. Face-threatening Situations: Relational Break-up

36. • Expression of regret
• Request for forgiveness
• Self-castigation
• Promise to do better in future
• Offers of restitution
APOLOGIES
Corrective Facework: Repair Strategy

38. I engaged in behavior which
was regrettable and
demonstrated bad judgment.
I’m 23-years-old, and despite
the successes I have had in the
pool, I acted in a youthful and
inappropriate way, not in a
manner that people have
come to expect from me.
For this, I am sorry. I promise
my fans and the public – it will
not happen again.
“
“

39. • Expression of regret
• Request for forgiveness
• Self-castigation
• Promise to do better
• Offer of restitution
√
√
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-
-
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40. DISCLAIMERS
• Hedging: indicates uncertainty
“I may be wrong, but...”
• Credentialing: cites qualifications for engaging in actions
“I’m your husband, I have a right to read your email”
• Sin license: citing acceptable situation for rule violation
“What the heck, this is a special occasion”
• Cognitive disclaimer: indicates that behavior is reasonable
despite appearances
“This may sound crazy, but ...”
• Appeal for suspended judgement:
“Hear me out before you start yelling”
Preventive facework: ensures message won’t reflect negatively on you

41. CONVERSATION MANAGEMENT
Initiating • Maintaining • Closing

42. • Cute-flippant opener:
humorous, indirect, ambiguous
least preferred by both sexes
• Innocuous opener:
highly ambiguous lines
liked because they serve
negative face needs
• Direct opener:
clearly demonstrate interest
men like direct ones
TYPES OF OPENING LINES

43. SAMPLE PICK-UP LINES
• Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
• Hello.Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
• Somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
• Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time
to write down my number?
• Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm
ridiculous or anything, but you are the most
gorgeous girl/guy I have ever seen. I just felt like
I had to tell you.
• Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you
want to be my friend?

44. Turn-maintaining
cues
Turn-yielding cues
Turn-request cues Turn-denying cues
To Speak To Listen
Listener
Speaker
Conversational Wants
MAINTAINING
CONVERSATIONS

45. Breadth Depth
Intent
Honesty
Duration
DIMENSIONS OF DISCLOSURE

46. CLOSING CONVERSATIONS
• Reflecting back & summarizing
• Directly stating desire to end
• Asking for closure
• Stating that you enjoyed the
interaction
• Refering to future interaction