Confessions of a Wicked Vendor
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Tips for managing people and projects, presented at HighEdWeb 2010
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Confessions of a Wicked Vendor
- 3. TRUE “The politics of the university are so intense because the stakes are so low.” -Wallace Sayre December 1973
- 4. FALSE “Higher education consultants are given more credibility than full time staff who say the exact same thing.” -Karlyn Morissette April 2009
- 10. How many of you are managers?
- 11. Every person in this room is a manager
- 21. What’s wrong? Who’s to blame? How can I prove I’m right? How can I be in control? Why is that person so clueless and frustrating?
- 22. What works? What’s possible? What are my choices? What am I missing or avoiding? What assumptions am I making? How can I make this a win-win? What is the other person feeling, needing, wanting?
- 29. Recognize different personality types
- 30. Leader
- 32. Big picture – don’t give them details.
- 33. Be rational and give them opportunities to be in control.
- 36. Share your feelings. Praise generously and omit criticism.
- 37. Explain how your idea will benefit people.
- 40. Describe things in step-by-step detail.
- 41. Don’t get angry or yell.
- 45. Do not try to control them.
- 46. Be prepared for unique solutions to problems.
- 52. There are always going to be more projects...and you’ll never have the time to do everything.
- 55. Create the Right Tools
- 64. Few people are ever really qualified to be a boss.
- 65. What are you afraid of?
- 66. Don’t expect overnight miracles
- 67. Ready to make the leap?
- 70. Get it in writing
- 71. You’re not one of the cool kids anymore.
- 72. Karlyn Morissette www.rebelphd.com @KarlynM www.doteduguru.comkarlynmorissette@gmail.com www.fire-engine-red.comwww.linkedin.com/in/karlynmorissette
Editor's Notes
- way. For example:
- What is the common thread of all of these?
- Every single one of them is playing the blame game. “It’s not my fault! Look at the idiots I’m working with! There’s just nothing I can do.”And I’m not trying to make fun of Susan or Paul or Michael because goodness knows, it is extremely easy to fall into that mindset without even realizing it. If you are in this type of mindset, things are not going to get better until you make a conscious effort to change them.
- Every change, big or small, begins with a new question. One of the greatest gifts that Pamela gave me was introducing me to the book “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” by Marilee Adams. This book really changed the way I looked at my interactions with the world around me. The basic premise of the book is that every time we have a work (or life) decision to make, we consciously or unconsciously ask ourselves a series of and the way we frame those questions makes all there difference about if we move forward in a positive direction or a negative one. If we can make ourselves aware of the questions we are asking, we can positively impact every area of our lives.
- So for instance, let’s consider this series of questions: (read the list)Those are questions I’ve asked myself a million times, and I’m sure that most people in this room are in the same boat. How do these questions make you feel? (wait for answers)Now let’s flip it:
- (read list)How are these questions different? (wait for answers)For me, the key questions here are “what am I missing?” and “what assumptions am I making?”Ultimately, you’re trying to create that win-win situation for all parties involved. When you create win-win situations, you look good. And being combative or competitive is probably not going to get you to that goal.
- One of the tools that Dr. Adams gives in her book is the Choice Map. Now....ok....I know this looks cheesey. I got it. But bare with me, OK?You have two paths you can take at any given moment, each driven by the questions you are asking yourself. Most of the time we are not conscious of the fact the questions we’re asking....But if we can get to a point where we can recognize that we are going down this negative path – or the judger path as she calls it – “whose’s fault is it? What’s wrong with me”.....we can switch gears mid-stream and take things in a more positive direction. You can download this map on her website – inquiryinstitute.com – and trust me. Just give it a try sometime. It may be cheesey but It really does work.
- here. Give your colleague the benefit of the doubt and don’t take it personally or hold a grudge against them until kingdom come.
- Leaders have three natural abilities:They are visionaries – they can see the big picture and what needs to be doneThey are doers – they like to make things happenThey are managers – they like to direct the activities of others. Motivators: Control – they like to be the decision makerSuccess – they want to be the bestWinner – they are highly competitiveAchilles Heel of Leaders: Hard people skills (being comfortable with confrontation) come naturally, but soft people skills do not (leaning to understand and respond to someone else’s needs). They are not naturally patient, and while great at constructive criticism, are not quick to offer praise and positive reinforcement. Smallest group – 10%
- Leaders have three natural abilities:They are visionaries – they can see the big picture and what needs to be doneThey are doers – they like to make things happenThey are managers – they like to direct the activities of others. Motivators: Control – they like to be the decision makerSuccess – they want to be the bestWinner – they are highly competitiveAchilles Heel of Leaders: Hard people skills (being comfortable with confrontation) come naturally, but soft people skills do not (leaning to understand and respond to someone else’s needs). They are not naturally patient, and while great at constructive criticism, are not quick to offer praise and positive reinforcement. Smallest group – 10%
- Leaders have three natural abilities:They love people and want people to like them The best natural communicatorsTend to be extroverted – friendly, outgoing, enjoy the company of othersMotivators: Love – they need close relationships with people. No conflict, lots of harmony. Self-awareness/self-growth – want to see themselves as growing and maturing. CreativityAchilles Heel of People: Opposite of leader – good at the soft people skills, but not the hard. Largest group – 35%
- Leaders have three natural abilities:They love people and want people to like them The best natural communicatorsTend to be extroverted – friendly, outgoing, enjoy the company of othersMotivators: Love – they need close relationships with people. No conflict, lots of harmony. Self-awareness/self-growth – want to see themselves as growing and maturing. CreativityAchilles Heel of People: Opposite of leader – good at the soft people skills, but not the hard. Largest group – 35%
- The worker beesSystematic and detail-orientedSelf-disciplineBring order out of chaosMotivators: Organized, structured life. They don’t like loose ends, have a schedule and stick to it. Need to be dependable and reliable. Dealing with the details of a job – checklists. Achilles Heel of People: Need for their world to be predictable, planned and controlled. They also tend to overwork.
- The worker beesSystematic and detail-orientedSelf-disciplineBring order out of chaosMotivators: Organized, structured life. They don’t like loose ends, have a schedule and stick to it. Need to be dependable and reliable. Dealing with the details of a job – checklists. Achilles Heel of People: Need for their world to be predictable, planned and controlled. They also tend to overwork.
- March to the beat of their own drumDon’t like 9 to 5 job. Don’t need to lead...but don’t like to be led. “Tell us what you want done and when you want it done and then let us do it our own way. Don’t micromanage.” Motivators: Adventure and excitement FunChallengesAchilles Heel of Free Spirit: Love the start-up phase of a project but after a while it gets boring to them.
- March to the beat of their own drumDon’t like 9 to 5 job. Don’t need to lead...but don’t like to be led. “Tell us what you want done and when you want it done and then let us do it our own way. Don’t micromanage.” Motivators: Adventure and excitementFunChallengesAchilles Heel of Free Spirit: Love the start-up phase of a project but after a while it gets boring to them.
- You want true confessions from a wicked vendor? Here’s a true confession: The workload I had when I worked at a college pales in comparison to the workload I have now. There’s always more to do. There is no downtime. It’s just one of those things you’ll need to accept.....but you can control it to a certain extent.
- I’m sure most of you have experienced a similar thing at one point or another. Another quick story. A friend of mine use to work for a higher ed vender and they hired a new VP that he absolutely hated. He was miserable and would vent to me often and finally I just asked him what he had done to earn the trust of this person? In the spirit of “change your questions”, what have you done to proactively earn the trust of the people you want it from? Really think about that for a second. I like to start with the notion that people fundamentally want to be successful in their positions and that they want to do a good job. And they may know things or have experiences that you don’t. Have you really tried to look at things from other people’s point of view? Also, this may come as a shock to you but...
- When I’ve run into road blocks with superiors or others, I’ve found asking them what they are afraid of is a perfect place to start. This question will usually make them pause and really think about it.