55The International Journal Of Narrative Therapy And Community Work

55
The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work
2008 No. 2 www.dulwichcentre.com.au
In this paper, Deidre Ikin describes her work in The Room of Many Colours, the
location of group conversations with people migrating from a life dominated by
alcohol and drugs. Drawing on some challenging therapeutic situations, Deidre first
gives an account of using a definitional ceremony to respond to a particularly
painful account of trauma near the end of one group meeting. She also describes
the work of one woman in preparing the Rainbow document, an ‘insider’s’ guide for
mothers and child protection workers to use in determining when conditions are
right for children to return home. These practice-based accounts are followed by a
discussion of ethics and orientation when working in relation to substance misuse
and child protection.
Keywords: definitional ceremony, outsider-witness practices, child protection, consulting your consultants, ritual,
socio-cultural dramas, therapeutic documents, accountability, drug and alcohol counselling,
substance misuse, narrative practice.
Stories from the
Room of Many Colours
Ritual and reclamation with people
wishing to make changes to
drug and alcohol use
By Deidre Ikin
Deidre Ikin is a narrative therapist with a particular interest in health and community work. For the
past ten years, she has worked with people wishing to make changes to drug and alcohol use in rural
and remote areas of Australia. She has a particular interest in the effects of cultural norms and how
they shape conversations. Deidre is currently living in Oaxaca, Mexico.
Email: info@narrativegroupcommunity.com. See also: www.narrativegroupcommunity.com

56 The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work
INTRODUCTION
I am interested in the possibilities that a
narrative orientation and practices can offer
when working in a variety of settings. This paper
describes an example of how two features of
narrative practice as ‘folk psychology’ – a focus on
people’s personal agency and an attention to
intentional states (rather than internal states) –
have influenced my work.
The Room of Many Colours is located in a
residential facility where people come to stay for
five to ten days for assistance in the early stages of
separating from the use of alcohol and other drugs.
Men and women with extensive experience of
separating from and rejoining with substance use,
as well as those who are making their first
separations, come together in this room for one or
one-and-a-half hours. This is routinely our first and
only meeting; the participants are unknown to each
other, and I am also visiting from another service.
Some people come because their relationship to
substances may be taking over other relationships in
their life, and others are directed here because of
problems with the law. We meet to talk about any
concerns they may have, and their plans for when
they leave.
The name, The Room of Many Colours, is
invoked as a symbol for multi-storied accounts of
identity. I find having a visual image helps me to
engage in reflexive practice, and in communicating
concepts of rich story description to others,
especially colleagues. It can also help with resisting
dominant individualising discourses relating to
substance use (Winslade & Smith, 1997) and
pathologising influences that can easily be created
and re-created in the ‘helping professions’, in self-
help community movements, and in families and
society. For me, holding such an image in mind
makes it more possible to move away from
normalising ideas, language, and solutions so
readily available in this area of work. The Room of
Many Colours is a place that holds possibilities for a
multitude of expressions, conversations,
constructions and de-constructions (Lye, 1997); it’s
a place where multi-storied or many-dimensional
accounts of identity are welcomed, and skills and
knowledges can be displayed in what is often a
context of chaos.
LINKING ORIENTATION AND PRACTICE
There are significant challenges in meeting once
with people that I usually have not met before and
may not meet again. While the focus of the meeting
is on sharing information, not therapy, I do not
know what factors might be influencing their lives,
what might happen in the group, how many will
attend, what their histories might be, how their
speaking might affect others, and so on. Most
importantly, I never know what the effects of
substances, or the recent lack of them, might have
on the participants, individually and collectively for
example, how awake or tired they might be, how
‘strung out’ or ‘highly strung’ they might be feeling,
their heightened or diminished sensory experience,
and much, much more. I’m also mindful that many
of the participants might be wary of being in a
context linked to their experience of the criminal
justice system. All in all, this is the perfect
situation for practicing skills of ‘not knowing’.
A conference keynote address about folk
psychology by Michael White (2001) questioned
some of the certainties proposed by some of the
popular and professional psychologies, by asking
about the ways in which ideas or theories attain
truth status. This idea of uncertainty resonated with
me and appeared to be wonderfully aligned to the
uncertainty of the groups I work with. I was curious
how a group might operate subject to these
conditions. Personal agency and intentional states
are two features of folk psychology (White, 2004)
that are significant influences in the shaping of my
practice in various ways, and I decided to pay more
attention to how these might be both noticed and
brought more to the fore.
I will now describe two examples of narrative
practice in work around issues of drugs and alcohol.
Chloe’s story took place in the last twenty minutes
of a group meeting in The Room of Many Colours,
while Kristina’s story occurred over a period of
several months after an initial meeting in the room
and subsequent directive to attend our service.
PART ONE: CHLOE’S STORY
Chloe’s story occurred on a day when there were
only five visitors to the room. She spoke of being
nervous and restless, and wanting to keep busy
because of this. Ben had also arrived that day, was

57
wearing dark glasses, and expressed concerns that
the place reminded him of hospitals he had been
admitted to on occasions when he became mentally
‘unwell’. Ben had previously been described as
‘difficult’ to work with due to his ‘flat affect’ and
unresponsiveness, and on one occasion had been
requested to leave a counselling meeting on account
of this. Ned was returning after several admissions
and completions of drug rehabilitation programs.
Ralph spoke of spending his days drinking sherry
and watching TV with his younger sister from the
age of thirteen. He began this lifestyle at a time
when their dad worked away from home, and their
mother went out one day and did not return for two-
and-a-half years. Sue had plans to return home to
her partner and children, after renegotiating the
impact of alcohol and drugs in her life.
The day’s meeting was almost finished. The
participants had discussed plans for their lives, and
I was anticipating soon being back at my own
agency catching up on administration work. We
were reading through health tips, talking about diet
and breakfast, when Chloe said she drank two large
bottles of Vodka every day, one for breakfast before
work. This elicited other people’s interest and, from
past experience, I knew that I would need to take
care that the group’s conversation did not engage in
heroic accounts of substance use.
However, Chloe then began to talk about how
her drinking had taken off after being sexually
assaulted. I found myself thinking, ‘This is not what
we do in these meetings; they’re for information,
not therapy!’ But Chloe seemed unable to stop
speaking, and was now talking rapidly as she poured
out about the circumstances of the abuse. The
others were silent. I was not sure how or whether to
interrupt. As she spoke in more detail, she began to
tremble so badly that I wondered if she was going to
have a seizure. I was also concerned how it was for
the others to be hearing this, and I wondered how
I could interrupt.
I glanced at the others who seemed to be
listening very respectfully and intently. Some made
hesitant interjections; Ned commented on how she
was able to speak up like this among a group of
people she had only just met. Chloe continued, now
crying, trembling more, and talking even faster. Ned
joined in, speaking of an experience of drink-spiking
by another man and not knowing what happened in
the subsequent hours between losing consciousness
and waking up in hospital.
By this time I knew I had to interrupt as I was
concerned about what other stories might come
forward if I do not. I interjected and invoked an
emergency calming exercise that those experiencing
states of urgent intensity have reported as useful. It
also allowed me time to reflect on what to do next.
We sat, paying attention to our breathing, and
focusing on awareness of our feet on the floor. This
exercise is helpful during overwhelming times where
there is a potential for crisis, and has recently been
named by a user as the ‘the mind in the feet’
exercise.
However, Chloe was still trembling from head to
foot, and said she could not do the exercise. I let
her know this was okay, the room became quiet,
and the atmosphere changed to silent attentiveness,
and a sense of great care, as the others sat with
their eyes lowered. It was a delicate time, and I was
feeling acutely accountable for the future direction
of the conversation. I wanted to continue in ways
that would not contribute to re-traumatisation or
‘catharsis’ for Chloe or the others. Due to our time
constraints, I was aware that it would not be
appropriate to ask for a further account of the
sexual assault, or to have a situation where Chloe
became more distressed. I was also aware, however,
that it would be important for Chloe to experience
acknowledgement about having trusted the group
with this story, and for the group to be able to
respond in some way. I wondered if adopting an
outsider-witness / definitional ceremony approach
(White, 1997) might be a way to help facilitate this.
I decided to ask the group about Chloe ‘speaking
up’, because this had been acknowledged by Ned
earlier in the conversation. The conversation would
then not be about Chloe’s experience of sexual
assault as such, but about her intentions, hopes,
and values in speaking out in this way.
I began by asking Sue, ‘When you heard Chloe
speak up in this way, what were you drawn to, and
what does it suggest that might be important to
her?’ Sue spoke of courage and how she noticed
this in her own life. Ned spoke of Chloe’s ability to
‘speak of things like this with people she has just
met’, and that this suggested ‘trust’. Ralph was
drawn to her ‘strength to keep on, in spite of the
circumstances’, and Ben was drawn to the way she

could speak up about painful things, and added
that he was ‘really opposed to these kinds of things
happening in the world’. I asked Ben what this
suggested was important in his own life and he said
‘empathy’; he had tears of empathy listening to
Chloe speak, and his eyes were still wet. Part way
through the meeting, he had taken his dark glasses
off.
At this point, Chloe was crying and I asked what
kind of tears these were. She said tears of rage, and
began to speak about acts of retribution she would
like to carry out. She was still trembling, but
speaking with a stronger voice. I asked, ‘How is it
for you to be hearing what your speaking up
suggests to others is important to you, things like
strength to keep on, courage, ability to trust, and
the way you found to speak of painful things?’ She
spoke of how these were not things she would
usually think had anything to do with her; these
were not conclusions she would have come to.
I then asked her how it was for her to hear what the
men in the room are saying, and to see Ben’s tears
of empathy. She said that it meant that ‘not all men
were bastards’.
She was still trembling, and, without comment,
Ned left the room and returned with a blanket, and
wrapped her in it. It was a quiet moment, like
restfulness during a storm. Chloe was not speaking
now, and the blanket seemed to help stop the
trembling.
REFLECTIONS
I am interested in the potential for definitional
ceremony practices to be an alternative to popular
notions of emotional catharsis (White, 1997, p.100;
2004, p.73), and a way to assist in avoiding
potential re-traumatisation of the person or others.
While Chloe’s sharing of her story might have been
considered ‘not appropriate’ in an information
session such as this, in this situation it seemed
important to me to consider the possible effects of
engaging in silencing practices because of the
potential to contribute to maintaining the power
operations associated with her experience. The use
of definitional ceremony provided a forum for
acknowledgement of Chloe, which also made
possible a revision of tactics of silencing as well as
a significant revision of both the identities of Chloe
and Ben (Russell & Carey, 2004; White, 1995).
I am also interested in the history of ceremony,
defined as ‘any activity that is performed in an
especially solemn, elaborate, or formal way’, and
ritual, ‘a code of ceremonies in general’ (Random
House, 2005). Nadel describes rituals as
behaviours that are formalised and made repetitive
in that form, which Turner suggests offer protection
and predictability that controls but does not
eliminate danger (both cited in Myerhoff, 1974,
p.239).
These ideas were in accord with my appraisal of
the situation of ‘therapeutic danger’ I was
concerned the conversation had got into. Victor
Turner further describes socio-cultural dramas as
‘public occasions wherein a significant crisis
emerges and is resolved, usually occurring in an
orderly sequence of four stages’ (cited in Myerhoff,
1980). I will briefly use his framework here to
explore the sequence of events relating to what
occurred in this group:
1. A perceived threat to collective life, or
someone in the group violates an important
rule or custom. (Chloe speaks of sexual
abuse in a context in which its reception
may be hazardous.)
2. The mechanisms that operate to contain or
dispel conflict fails and the difficulty
spreads, drawing in more and more members
until it constitutes a genuine crisis. (Ned
speaks of drink spiking and possibilities of
sexual abuse while unconscious; Chloe
trembles badly and can’t stop talking.)
3. Some mending or action that restores order
and redresses the violation is called for. (The
use of definitional ceremony allows Chloe’s
action of speaking to be acknowledged by
the group, without revisiting its content.)
4. Equilibrium is achieved and often
accompanied by a realignment of social
relationships where dissident factions or
individuals are reintegrated into the group.
(Chloe achieves a revision of her identity,
exposes operations of power, and reassesses
totalising ideas of men. Ben sheds tears of
empathy and contributes to Chloe’s revision
of men’s ways of being in the world. Nick
performs a symbolic act of care by wrapping

59
Chloe in a blanket. Sue and Ralph, with the
others, notice things about Chloe that were
not previously visible to her, and that she
could not have achieved in isolation.
This story of ritual is an example of narrative
practice in a setting other than a formal
psychotherapeutic one. It shows an opportunistic
utilisation of group members as participants in a
ritual to contribute to an identity revision. The
same room was the setting of my first meeting with
Kristina, whose story now follows.
PART TWO: KRISTINA’S STORY
Women are frequent visitors to The Room of
Many Colours, and some of these women experience
a loss to do with the care of their children who
might be in the care of other family members,
friends, or strangers assigned by child protection
agencies. The next story is about one of these
women.
Kristina did not speak of the loss of her children
to strangers while in The Room of Many Colours,
maybe because these things are not spoken of
easily, if at all. (Occasionally, men and women sit
with far-away looks when others speak about loved
ones and children, or leave the room.) Two months
later, Kristina was directed to attend our service by
a local child protection agency. This wasn’t
appealing to Kristina, and she expressed some
resistance.
CONSIDERATIONS OF POWER
I have some experience of working with people
who are unwilling to attend the service I work for
and, during the first meeting with new clients,
I usually invite discussion about operations of
power, how problems contribute to shifts in the
location of power, and whether they are interested
in revising this (White, 1997). Usually the first step
is in exploring options for choice. I hope that, by
inviting the person to make some choice, no matter
how small, this might be acknowledging of their
skills in discernment and personal agency in a
context which has often been disqualifying of these.
With these ethical considerations in mind,
I asked Kristina to choose a counsellor of her
preference, which is not a routine practice in our
service (unless when issues of gender or culture are
considered relevant). Kristina was also introduced to
a variety of reporting styles available to those
mandated to attend our service and ways in which
these reports are written and distributed, and she
chose rights of veto and distribution. She began to
meet with a worker with particular skills and
knowledge about anxiety and, after some time,
Kristina joined a regular weekly group of people
separating from substances – in addition to meeting
with an individual counsellor, a requirement of the
child protection agency.
Kristina experienced a turnover of workers in
several agencies, including ours, and eventually we
met again. I wondered how might it be to start
again with new workers and to have to tell problem
stories over and over. I also wondered how we might
have conversations that did not contribute to
despair about the loss of her children. Furthermore,
I had concerns about the effects of individual
counselling with its attendant power relations –
even when workers attempt to work transparently –
and noticed that group meetings with peers
appeared to contribute to a very different experience
of therapeutic conversations for Kristina.
I was thinking about ways to initiate
conversations (Epston, 1998, p.177), and
wondering about the potential effects of lots of
questions, because I guessed she had been exposed
to many of these in recent months. I hoped we
would not assume ‘detective and fugitive’ roles
because she is subject to certain requirements of
the child protection agency. Kristina expressed that
her main concern was to regain the care of her
children, and from the accounts of others, this
could be fraught with problems and
disappointments.
Given that narrative practices are concerned
with making visible skills and knowledges that
may be forgotten due to a dominant story,
I proposed an idea: would she be interested in
becoming a consultant (White & Epston, 1992)
on identifying the right conditions for children to
return home? I said I could consult her about this
(see Mann, 2001) and take notes. She was
interested, and we began the process of recording
her knowledge and preparing the document Ways
to know when conditions are right for children
to return home.

Kristina provided a thorough account of these
conditions in several categories – the Mother, the
Environment (Home), and the Support People. She
described how the document should look and why,
including the colours and images to be used. This
was based on her understanding of the potential
effects of what she called ‘official documents’, as
distinct from ‘friendly documents’, on those who
might read them. During the writing of the
document, Kristina began to speak differently about
the loss of care of her children. For example, she
decided that the document would have a rainbow
starting on the front page, ending on the back page
to represent full restoration with the children.
Overall, she said the rainbow was to represent ‘how
beautiful and healing self-discovery is’, and she
began to speak of the loss of the care of the
children as a journey of healing.
She also spoke of co-ordinating the useful skills
she had learned, and wrote recommendations to
others about this. She noticed that practicing and
learning new skills invigorates her mind and helps
her not fall back to old habits and patterns of
thought.
I was interested about her history of learning
new skills (White, 1995). Kristina spoke of a time
when her children were babies, and she got books
from the library to learn about Feng Shui and other
ideas that were new to her. She said she always
liked learning new things and had wanted to be a
social worker or a solicitor, but people talked her
out of it. She noticed it ‘fizzled her ideas out’ when
there was no support for them. She wanted to help
people, and she spoke of skills in listening without
giving opinions or advice and that this suggests
she values open-mindedness and not making
judgements about people. She noticed this some six
months ago when a friend was upset and Kristina’s
ways of listening helped her friend to become calm.
I asked what this friend might say Kristina had
contributed to her life and she said ‘understanding
and respect’.
We went on to talk about the history of these
ways of knowing about understanding and respect
and skills for discerning when these are operating in
friendships or relationships. These were important
conversations because Kristina had been involved in
a series of relationships in which violence was a
feature, and this had been one of the contributing
factors to the loss of care of her children. She also
spoke about being in the school debating team in
year ten and, as a member of a team of four, went to
the Sydney Opera House to debate and people
applauded her because she was so good. When asked
what this might suggest about her, she said that she
is confident and has the ability to stand in front of
people and talk. She also noticed when debating she
had to change her mind around and look at things
from a different perspective, even on issues she
might not agree with. She associated this with her
skills in listening without giving opinions or advice.
I had hoped that the conversations we had
would contribute to a different experience for
Kristina at the forthcoming six-monthly review of
the twelve month ‘restoration plan’ conducted by
the child protection agency. Kristina was hoping she
might gain some knowledge about how she was
going with the plan. Some weeks later, four workers
from child protection services, a social worker, and
I attended the review meeting, and Kristina was
invited in for the last twenty minutes. She had
chosen to present the document, kept it as a
surprise, and introduced it in a formal yet
unrehearsed manner. As she began reading the
introduction outlining the purposes, hopes, value,
meaning, and uses for the document, I reflected on
Barbara Myerhoff’s descriptions of visibility
(Myerhoff, 1980) and how Kristina’s presence was
becoming more visible in the room and how the
workers listening contributed to this. As she spoke
of ways in which this document is joining her with
other mothers in similar situations and her hopes to
contribute to the lives of others, workers began
wiping their eyes, turning away, or wanting to go
outside for a cigarette, and spoke of feeling
overwhelmed, proud, astonished, and moved. Later,
in summing up this encounter, Kristina said:
I could feel it when I walked in, because they
were all there and I thought, ‘This is all up to
me now’. It just flowed, especially when
I said, ‘The first thing I’d like to talk about is
Matthew and Naomi’, and then presented the
document to them. Nobody really said
anything, I did all the talking and then
I answered their questions before they could
ask me and, when I had finished talking,
there was nothing else to say, and everyone
wanted to get up and leave.

61
THE RAINBOW DOCUMENT
Ways to Know When Conditions are Right for Children to Return Home
Written by Kristina
This document is about ways to know when conditions are right for children to return home. The rainbow
represents the journey that Mums can take to learn new ways, and how beautiful and healing self-discovery
is. The rainbow starts on the front page and ends on the back page. The end of the rainbow is full
restoration – togetherness.
The purpose of this document is to inspire and encourage other mothers and workers of community
services that mothers can be dedicated to learning new life skills, and are able to apply and maintain them.
This document also shows that, after difficult times, mothers are able to pick themselves up and learn new
life skills for the wellbeing of the whole family, which in turn affects our communities.
The hopes for this document are that it may give other Mums new information in how to achieve their
goals.
The value of this document might be insight into ways a mother can learn to use all resources and is
prepared to learn to be able to take the best possible care of her children.
The meaning of this document for the writer is to show that people genuinely care for other people and
would like to help them.
This document might contribute to the lives of others by giving other Mums confidence that their goals
can be achieved, and by letting them know that they are not alone.
Who might use this document? Mothers who have been or find themselves in similar situations (with
their kids in the care of others), and community service workers to help them understand that mothers can
be committed to learning new life skills and maintaining them, and will do whatever it takes to have the
care of their children returned to them.
NEW STRATEGIES
This document is about ways for Mums and workers to know when conditions are right for children to return
home. The document began with three sections: the mother, the environment or home, and support people.
As time went by, other sections have been added or expanded. These new sections include: tips for
times when Mums are missing their kids, tips for meeting with authorities or workers, ways to recognise
people who annoy or stress Mums out, and a self-assessment form that one Mum has used as a way of
seeing what she had learnt.
You are invited to make your own forms and add to this document.
1. THE MOTHER
2. ENVIRONMENT – WHERE THE HOME IS
3. SUPPORT PEOPLE
4. MISSING YOUR KIDS
5. MEETING WITH AUTHORITIES OR WORKERS
6. RECOGNISING PEOPLE WHO STRESS YOU OUT
7. SELF-ASSESSMENT FORMS

THE MOTHER
We know when conditions are right for children to return home when the mother:
– Attends all her appointments.
– Proves that she is not drinking any more, if she was being checked on for this. Kids should not be
in the Mum’s care when she is intoxicated, the Mum should not drink at home. Mums would have
concerns that alcohol is not good for the children to be around, intoxication is not good,
abstaining is okay. Abstaining lets you notice you can start to live again. Not drinking helps
reinforce all the things you’ve learnt.
– Is doing social things – meeting different people with same interests, being in the right places.
She could do small interest and self-help courses to reinforce what she has learnt.
– Is looking after her health and happiness. She should be looking after herself physically, and
doing things that need doing, acting upon things, and having things structured.
It’s important to know that:
– Mums are capable and alright and that they have the skills to cope and manage. It’s important to
know that Mums can do this without drinking to relieve the stress.
– Mums have learnt new tools, a whole new environment and ways of maintaining it. They are
committed to this.
– Mums can learn and keep on practicing new skills until it becomes a habit. This sustains you
more and more and keeps you grounded.
One Mum learned a variety of skills and noticed that, unless you try different skills, you can’t know what
works for you because everyone is different. Another Mum thought it was important to try a variety of self-
help courses besides counselling because it keeps you thinking all the time and can invigorate your mind.
This helps to prevent falling back to old ways of thought and patterns. She found doing a variety of things
refreshed her about all the things she has learnt.
HOME
People in the home: It should be a safe environment and nobody harmful is to enter that environment. The
Mum should not let anyone who has been drinking into the house, or bring alcohol to the house.
The house should be clean and tidy and the Mum should have food and be caring for the home, taking
pride in the house. She could be nurturing the home and the family and the children.
A place of fun – the Mum could have fun with the kids, something for them to look forward to – not just
school, TV, and bed. She could have things planned out for them to do; something to look forward to.
Examples of this could be
• Going to the river or pool or skate park.
• Having pretend camp-out nights at home where everyone sleeps in the lounge room and pretends
the electricity is off.
• Playing games together with the TV off, reading books together, or playing a new game or puzzle.
SUPPORT PEOPLE
The support people would be genuinely caring and interested in seeing that the mother could handle looking
after the children.
Support service workers could come to the home and see what the needs are.

63
Social workers could reinforce the belief that the mother is able to get on with life successfully.
Drug and alcohol workers could support the Mum by giving her confidence and sharing skills in ways
that are not stressful (like counselling which can get repetitive if for a long period of time).
Things mums can do:
Mums could find out all the information they can and act upon this and write letters. They could do some
things themselves rather than expecting authorities to do it all. Mums can think about expecting help but
then they can do things themselves too.
Mums can think about maintaining their mental thoughts and the ways they want to think. They can also
find things to do that are intellectually stimulating, simple, and of substance.
Some Mums might not have learnt what other women have learnt, they might be uneducated about
government people and how to deal with them. Mums could share their skills in this and help other Mums not
to stress out. The effects of this might be that Mums have ways of knowing about self–control, taking life
back into their own hands, and not just being flung about. They might notice they are taking back their own
personality that can get lost when Mums are taking care of the kids or working.
Mums could also go to community support centres, or women’s groups, or to church for spiritual reasons
to meet and mix with different people. Sometimes a Mum can be just a Mum, just for the children – be on
auto-pilot, maintain herself, be dressing well, etc, but all the psychological things are going on.
After some time, one Mum noticed that she feels more complete now; she is here for herself as well as
being a Mum, and is more contented. Another Mum noticed that after doing a Parenting course she wants to
keep the skills she learned, like having natural and logical consequences that help kids learn to deal with
someone saying ‘no’. The Mum can teach the children how they can work things out for themselves. The Mum
doesn’t have to always do it for them. The effects of this can be that Mums can have a little time for them
selves, and can sit back and do something they really enjoy, like relaxing after they have organised the house.
MISSING YOUR KIDS
Here are some tips for when Mums are missing their kids:
• Think positive and not get depressed.
• Look after yourself.
• Think about the future and when you get the children back.
• Take time out in a different environment – not surrounded by the memories in your home.
• Stay with a friend for a couple of days in a different environment.
• Good to have your own space and be in your own home, but a couple of days away can take your
mind off things.
• Being on your own all the time builds up and can lead to sadness.
• Make it a regular thing – once a fortnight to stay with friends so anxiety doesn’t keep building up.
When you’re relating with other people, anxiety gets less.
• Have a hobby, something you enjoy but never had time for – Mums push some things aside when they
have kids.
• Producing something might make you feel better and keeps your mind occupied.
• Do something that you have wanted to do that you haven’t had time for before.
• Look at this time without the children as a gift to yourself, look at it positively because Mums know
how much time it takes to look after a family. Now they’ve finally got some time to do things that they
wanted to do before.
• Go to groups and meet with people in similar situations. Discussing things is helpful. A lot of people
think, ‘I don’t need help; I know what I’m doing’. Going to groups puts you in touch with people
where you can sit around and talk to each other. People there are wanting to help themselves.

MEETINGS WITH AUTHORITIES OR WORKERS
Here are some tips for when you are meeting with authorities of workers:
• If you are shaky or nervous at meetings, write things down.
• Have a full breakfast on the day of your meeting.
Mums could document everything and get it put into the children’s file at DOCS.
Mums could ask at the DOCS (Welfare) meetings what the workers want the Mum to do and she could
document it and then hand it in at the next meeting. She could get it copied and filed and she could keep
the original. Mums can remember that they have a right to know about any information that has been
written about them and can make a request to look at their file.
Mums can remember that if they are getting upset inside when they are talking with authorities, they
could use some of the skills they might have had a long time ago to stay calm – e.g., breathing skills or
other skills they might have used in the past.
Mums can remember not to let people upset them and to stay calm.
RECOGNISING PEOPLE WHO STRESS MUMS OUT
Sometimes Mums haven’t worked out which people annoy them and stress them out. Mums could learn and
keep practicing this skill. Some Mums notice that they might not have too many friends now that they are
making changes. One Mum began to use some skills to recognise the difference between people who are
respectful and genuine, and those who are not. Some of the things she began to notice are:
• It takes time to build relationships.
• There are ‘fair-or-foul-weather’ friends or people who do care. These are people who are not
pretending to be somebody else. They are saying, ‘This is what I feel’. They are true in what they say.
They remain the same, and can maintain equilibrium – not one way this week and another way
the next.
• Where there is an equal relationship, people confer better, talking to each other is easier. And you
don’t have to watch what you say all the time, you can be yourself.
• In a healthy relationship people are relaxed and comfortable, and there would be friendship,
happiness, and contentment. And if there were times of unhappiness, the other person would feel
concern and they support each other through good and bad times.
SELF-ASSESSMENT FORMS
One Mum was given a self-assessment form to fill out by a worker. She said it was hard at first, and her
mind went blank, but she filled it out ‘on the spot’ as honestly as she could. She said it helped when the
worker photocopied it and gave her a copy to take home and read. The Mum felt more confident about
herself when she had put information in a form like that because she could see what she had learnt when it
was written down. Mums could participate and make their own self-assessment forms. One Mum is now
working on a form for others to look at.
DEFINITIONAL CEREMONY
Six weeks later, six people, including Kristina’s children, Matthew and Naomi, were invited as outsider
witnesses (Disqueact, 2004) to a presentation of Ways to know when conditions are right for children to return
home, now known as the Rainbow document, in the form of a definitional ceremony (Myerhoff, 1980; White,
1995). Kristina said the restoration plan was happening in a way that she had not anticipated, and I was hoping
to catch up with this rapid pace of events.

65
THE TELLING
Kristina spoke of the history of the Rainbow
document, its purposes, and what she noticed when
she presented it at the meeting of child protection
workers. During this section of the conversation, she
said:
I noticed the other people in the room were
really touched by it … it meant a lot to other
people which really made me feel good.
I have noticed a lot of difference in the way
the workers have responded to me over this
document. My case worker said about her
boss, ‘I’ve been trying to chisel away at her
for months and months and with that
document it just melted her … she was
definitely touched by it’. I can see the
respect she gives me now, of knowing a bit
about myself, rather than just judging me on
face value; she could really see what was
inside, how people can pick themselves up.
It’s made a lot of difference because now
I’m even more aware of how well I can do
and how well I can do in the future. It’s very
inspirational to feel that way, which inspires
me in turn, to learn more.
Now that I have the children sleeping
over night, it restores faith in myself too that
I can do this and I’m quite able to do it, to
show the workers that I’m quite capable of
looking after my children.
THE RE-TELLING
During the re-telling, Jack, who was a
participant in a group who met weekly to discuss
their journeys of migration from substance use,
noticed the ‘difficulty in expressing and distilling
into words a journey such as Kristina’s and the
emotions that go with that’. He noted that the
Rainbow document shows a reaching out to other
people to share that experience. This suggested to
him an openness and willingness to be part of
something larger; a giving and receiving. He thought
that the document expressed wisdom that Kristina’s
journey was about a completion, as well as a
recognition that the journey is something
continuous.
Marianne, another member of the outsider-
witness group, was drawn to ‘Kristina’s willingness
to continue on the journey; to let other people
know what is out there and how they can do good
things for themselves and change their lives’. To
her, this suggested that Kristina ‘values a
relationship with her children as well as looking
after her own wellbeing’. Marianne said,
I’m on a journey myself at the moment to
change my life and the way I relate to my
children. They’re not living with me at the
moment, and I’m certainly on a journey to
change things and have a better relationship
with them. Kristina’s words have given me
more hope and inspiration that I can do this
and I can pick myself up and change my life
for the better.
Yolande was drawn to Kristina’s ‘desire for
what she’s wishing to be recognised by, and that
she’s doing it for her kids and for the future’.
Yolande noticed something similar in her own life:
We’re both on a journey that is incredibly
difficult for ourselves … and no-one else can
have the comprehension … I can really
relate to her struggle .... when I know people
are going through hard things, I think ‘I’m
not the only one’, and it makes me feel less
alone …’
Yolande is a young woman who experiences the
operations of ‘the sensory explosion’ that had her
trying to jump off a tall building last year and, in
the last month, take an overdose of pills with
subsequent admissions to a psychiatric clinic. The
conditions that precede these events are ‘others
not seeming to care enough’. The sensory
explosion entered her life after a traumatic and
near-fatal vehicle accident in 2005, and since
then she had experienced daily thoughts of ending
her life, and regular violent behaviour towards her
boyfriend and destruction of belongings and
property. Yolande was interested in being an
audience to Kristina’s story of her journey of losing
and regaining care of her children because she was
‘interested in anything to do with hope’.
When Naomi was asked what stood out for her
when she heard her Mum speaking and saw the

Rainbow document, she simply said ‘I would really
like to come home soon’.
TELLING OF THE RE-TELLING
Kristina spoke of how all the responses ‘hit
home’ and how ‘simple communication between
people can help – just knowing you’re not the only
one’. She noticed how good it is to know that others
can understand what she has gone through and that
‘it is possible for people to improve and heal
themselves and have a good life, take control of
their lives, and be happy’. ‘It’s given me even more
inspiration to do well, to keep going … more
inspiration.’
AN UPDATE, AND FUTURE PLANS
Only a few months after her presentation of the
document, Kristina’s children were returned to her,
and have been in her care full-time since then. The
Rainbow document is a work in progress; Kristina
wants to add information based on her experiences
of the children being home, and to develop her own
self-assessment form to include with the document.
Being talented at painting and drawing, she would
also like to add some of her artwork to the
document, in line with her preference to make it
‘friendly’ and not ‘official’.
When we last met, Kristina relayed to me:
I am thinking I could get a position with
DOCS [the Welfare Department] to help
women in the same position as me, and
provide them with someone to talk to. If the
government could employ me, this might help
in preventing kids being taken away from
mothers, and it would help these interactions
not be all one-sided.
Following on from her idea, we talked about
the concept of ‘experience consultants’ (Walnum,
2007), and she is keen to follow this up with the
Department. As for her own life, Kristina said:
‘I focus on today, enjoying life day-by-day, watching
the children growing up just in front of me, and
think, “Where I am now is where I am supposed
to be”’.
Finally, as an outcome of being outsider
witnesses to Kristina’s story, Yolande is now writing
a document for young girls who have experienced
trauma, and Marianne is finding ways to stay
connected to her children even though they are
living in another state. As Kurt Vonnegut Jr, who
has been a significant influence on my thinking,
would say, ‘and so it goes …’ (Vonnegut, 1973).
SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT COLLABORATION
AND ACCOUNTABILITY
My first consideration for engaging in
conversations with Kristina was the importance of a
sense of personal agency (White, 2004) and ways
this might be experienced more often. It was also
important for me to find ways to reflect on the
difference between assisting in the development of
Kristina’s sense of personal agency and assuming
an advocacy role which is so readily available in this
kind of work.
Sue Mann’s writings (2001) on collaborative
representation were a significant influence in my
decision to ‘consult the consultant’ and invite
Kristina to engage in collaborative document writing
as a means to access the skills and knowledges
available to her. Finding ways to make operations of
power and professional privilege visible was also
important because of incidences Kristina recounted
of ‘professional’ contexts where she entertained
doubts that she might ever be able to regain the
care of her children. In light of this, finding ways
that I could be accountable in order to safeguard
the interests of all parties, including the children,
was crucial (White, 1995).
The narrative metaphor, and use of post-
structuralist ideas below, provided an orientation to
these practices of facilitating a sense of personal
agency (White, 2004), ‘consulting the consultant’
(Epston & White 1990), and adopting an ethic of
accountability. Some of these post-structuralist
ideas in a context of therapy include:

67
FINAL THOUGHTS
Engaging in practices such as consulting the
consultant, writing documents, and developing
solution knowledges to be shared with others, has the
potential to deconstruct the roles of ‘helper’ and
‘helped’. Rather than a one-way flow of ‘receiving
professional help’, within both Chloe and Kristina’s
stories there was a theme of giving and receiving, and
this seemed to make all the difference.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I wish to acknowledge those who contributed to
this work: Chloe, Ben, Ned, Ralph, and Sue; Kristina
and her children Naomi and Matthew; Jack, Marianne,
and Yolande. Their willingness to participate has made
this writing possible. My workplace provided
encouragement, and those at the Dulwich Centre,
fellow course participants, and the writers who share
and continue to share their experiences of ways of
working, have made for a rich learning experience.
REFERENCES
Disqueact, J. (2004). Definitional ceremonies: Integrating
community into multicultural counseling sessions.
Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development
(December), Retrieved October 15th, 2006 from
http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/
Epston, D. (1998). Catching up with David Epston.
Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications.
Epston, D. & White, M. (1990). Consulting your consultants:
The documentation of alternative knowledges. Dulwich
Centre Newsletter, (4), 25-35. Republished 1992 in
Epston, D. & White, M.: Experience, contradiction,
narrative & imagination: Selected papers of David
Epston & Michael White, 1989-1991 (chapter 1),
pp.11-26. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications.
Keesing, M. (1976). Cultural anthropology – A contemporary
perspective. NY: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Lye, J. (1997). Some post-structural assumptions. Retrieved
August 13, 2006 from http://www.brocku.
ca/english/courses/4F70/poststruct.html
Mann, S. (2000). Collaborative representation: Narrative
ideas in practice. Gecko: a journal of deconstruction
and narrative ideas in therapeutic practice,
(2), 39-49.
Myerhoff, B. (1974). Peyote hunt: The sacred journey of the
Huichol Indians. Ithaca: Cornell University Press.
Myerhoff, B. (1980). Number our days. NY: Simon
& Schuster.
Random House (2005). Webster’s unabridged dictionary.
New York. Random House.
Russell, S. & Carey, M. (2004). Narrative therapy:
Responding to your questions. Adelaide: Dulwich
Centre Publications.
Vonnegut, K. (1973). Breakfast of champions. NY: Delacorte
Press. Walnum, E. (2007). Sharing stories: The work of
an experience consultant. International Journal of
Narrative Therapy and Community Work, (2), 3-9.
White, M. (1995). Re-authoring lives: Interviews and essays.
Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications.
White, M. (2004). Folk psychology and narrative practice. In
Narrative practice and exotic lives: Resurrecting
diversity in everyday life (pp.59–118). Adelaide:
Dulwich Centre Publications.
White, M. (1997). Narratives of therapists’ lives. Adelaide:
Dulwich Centre Publications.
White, M. (2001). Folk psychology and narrative practice.
Keynote address at Dulwich Centre Narrative Therapy
and Community Work Conference Adelaide, South
Australia, February.
White, M. & Epston, D. (1992). Experience, contradiction,
narrative & imagination. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre
Publications.
Winslade, J. & Smith, L. (1997). Countering alcoholic
narratives. In G. Monk, J. Winslade, K. Crocket, &
D. Epston (Eds.), Narrative therapy in practice: The
archaeology of hope (pp.158–192). San Francisco:
Jossey Bass.
Moving from: To:
Therapist as expert Therapist as co-researcher
Settled certainties Creating contexts for choice
Notions of dysfunction and pathology Seeking out preferred stories
Gathering information Generating information
Assessment Detailed, context-specific narratives
Goal-setting Possibilities, projects and directions in life that unfold
Problem-saturated accounts Problems regarded as dominant plots; projects as counterplots
or subordinated stories
Advocacy Enabling personal agency
Internal-state descriptions Curiosity about intentional states
Clients as passive recipients of Clients actively contributing to the lives of others
(individual and individualising) therapy

55The International Journal Of Narrative Therapy And Community Work

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

More from Sarah Adams

More from Sarah Adams (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

55The International Journal Of Narrative Therapy And Community Work