Children may misbehave as a way to seek power and control when they feel like they don't have any. Misbehaviors like screaming "no", refusing to comply, or throwing tantrums are ways for children to exert the control they desire. Rather than fighting with children over control, it is better to give them appropriate ways to feel powerful by allowing choices over small decisions and activities. Giving children a sense of power and control in constructive ways can help avoid power struggles and misbehaviors.

1. 42-2#Goals of Misbehavior
Pedagogy TLS

2. Control
I belong only when I am in control or am boss, or when I
am proving no one can boss me.

3. Power & Control
Whether or not we choose to admit it, everyone wants power.
Truthfully, this is not a bad thing. We often associate the word “power”
with overbearing, manipulative actions often occurring at the expense
of others. In the context of children, power means control.

4. Power & Control
One reason children misbehave is power. When children seek power
through their behaviors, they are feeling like they don’t have any
control. To get this need met, children behave in ways to make sure to
try to exert their control. They scream “No!,” refuse to comply, or
throw themselves on the ground when you ask them to put their
shoes on.

5. Managing power-seeking behaviors
Oftentimes when children seek power through their misbehavior, we
dig in and refuse to give it to them. Instead of focusing your energy on
protecting your control over your child, try thinking about ways you
can give them the power and control that they seek in appropriate
and constructive ways.

6. Tips to give control your child
● Give them what they want. Children need opportunities to have control and make
choices for themselves, so let them! When you share this power with children on
your own terms, you can avoid power struggles. Let them have a vote in what to
make for dinner, let them decide whether they want to clean their room or do their
homework first. When children have control, they feel useful, valuable and yes,
powerful.