TIMD- Philosophy 3

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  • 1.Mature Character
    2.Loving Relationships & Family
    3.Contribution to Society
  • 1.Time of maturing of character for marriage and parenthood.
    2.Springtime of life for youth.
    Youth Idealistic, sensitive, romantic and passionate.
    Need guidance and protection
  • 1.Includes sexual attraction
    Rooted in instinctual and unconscious forces
    2.Transient stage
    3.Lasting intimacy, freedom and joy takes time and investment
  • 1.Involvement & Investment
    2.Bonding power
    3.Develop affection
    4.Revive a relationship
  • 1.Loving has purpose and direction
    Grounded in heart & conscience
    Purpose determines depth of love
    2.Love is grounded in ethical standards beyond the personal relationship
  • 1.Looking for love
    2.Seeking acceptance
    From partner
    From peers
    3.Proving one’s manhood or womanhood
  • 1.Physical experience alone does not satisfy the emotional need
    2.Love blossoms only in the context of long-term commitment
  • 1.Does not prove adulthood
    2.Does not prove manhood or womanhood
  • 1.Regret
    2.Heartbreak
    3.Guilt and shame
    4.Stunted personal growth
    5.Loss of self-respect
    6.Fear of commitment
    Source: Thomas Lickona,“The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
  • 7.Anxiety over possible pregnancy and disease
    8.Rage over betrayal
    9.Corruption ofcharacter
    10.Depression and suicide
    Source: Thomas Lickona, “The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
  • 1.As preparation for possible marriage
    2.To select a better marriage partner
  • 1.If married later, greater likelihood of divorce
    2.Increased conflict and poorer communication
    3.Greater risk of violence to women
    7 times the risk of assault by boy friends than by husbands
    Source: National Crime Victimization Survey, US Department of Justice, 1992
  • Temptation of Sexual Love
  • 1.Regret
    2.Heartbreak
    3.Guilt and shame
    4.Stunted personal growth
    5.Loss of self-respect
    6.Fear of commitment
    Source: Thomas Lickona,“The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
  • Temptation of Sexual Love
  • 1.Opportunity to regain a sense of self-worth
    2.Best option for those disillusioned with premarital sex
  • Therefore I commit myself
    1.To strive for maturity of heart and character
    2.To learn how to practice true love as a child, friend, spouse and parent
    3. To refrain from all sexual relationships before marriage
    4. To dedicate myself to fidelity within marriage
  • The pure relationship of love between a man and a woman is a sacred trust to be cherished and honored, for the sake of building a true family, a healthy nation, and a world of peace.
    Once that love is consummated, it should never be broken.
  • Love and honor one’s parents
    Cultivation of loyalty
    Springboard to all forms of love
  • Cultivates empathy
    Fosters sense of self worth
    Sharpens relational and parenting skills
    Broadens base of friendship
  • “ If you loved me you would let me”
    “ I know you really want to”
    “ Everybody is doing it”
    “ If you loved me, you would not push me”
    “ Yes - with my future spouse”
    “ Not me”
    Moral conviction is most important
  • Large numbers are making the commitment to save sex until marriage
  • TIMD- Philosophy 3

    1. 1. Causes & Resolution of Conflict © 2002 International Educational Foundation IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only if it has not been altered from the original. © IEF 1
    2. 2. Harmony — What People Desire © IEF 2
    3. 3. Conflict Within the Individual  Stress  Anger  Selfhatred  Addiction © IEF 3
    4. 4. Interpersonal Conflict  Marital tension  Family strife  Disputes with friends & neighbors  Conflict at work or school © IEF 4
    5. 5. Social Conflict  Legal disputes  Ethnic tension  Abuse of power  War © IEF 5
    6. 6. © IEF 6
    7. 7. Principle of Interaction Giving Subject Role Object Role Responding  Giving precedes receiving  Requires subject & © IEF 7
    8. 8. Conflict Begins Within the Individual SelfishnessUnselfishness © IEF 8
    9. 9. Harmonious Interaction Centers on a Higher Purpose Higher Purpos e Subject Role Object Role © IEF 9
    10. 10. Unselfishne ss Self-control Humility Service Living for Others Forgiveness Generosity Basis of Goodness Fairmindedness © IEF 10
    11. 11. Selfishness Lust Arrogance Exploitation Living Only for Oneself Prejudice Vengeance Greed Basis of Evil © IEF 11
    12. 12. Four Position Base for Interaction Higher Purpos e Subject Role Center Object Role New Developmen Interactio n Outcome © IEF 12
    13. 13. Family Conflict Members pursue self-interest over the welfare of family  Infidelity  Money issues  Sibling rivalry © IEF 13
    14. 14. Social Conflict Groups and nations pursue selfinterest over the greater good  Abuse of power  Ethnic tensions  Legal disputes © IEF 14
    15. 15. Ancestral Sources of Family Conflict  Ancestral distortions of love are passed on  Parents’ limitations lead to the child’s psychological difficulties  Dysfunctional family traditions continue from  Alcoholism  Infidelity generation to  Spousal abuse  Gambling generation © IEF 15
    16. 16. Sources of National Conflict  National crimes burden future generations  © IEF 16
    17. 17. “We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity.” Martin Luther King, Jr. © IEF 17
    18. 18. Individual Choice — Resolve or Repeat Past Conflicts Past Each person passes on either the problem or the solution Future © IEF 18
    19. 19. Does Fighting Resolve Conflict?  Fighting can be necessary  For self-defense  To defend the weak  Fighting does not resolve conflict   Defeating an enemy does not answer his grievances or end his hatred © IEF 19
    20. 20. Settlements Alone Do Not Resolve Conflicts  Genuine reconciliation is needed  Deep hostility must be resolved © IEF 20
    21. 21. Elements of Conflict Resolution Unselfishness Selfishness Right Loving Relationship Wrong Broken Relationship © IEF 21
    22. 22. Basis for Conflict Resolution State of Harmony Restored Lost State of Conflict Indemnity conditions Efforts to reverse the process by which the original harmony was lost © IEF 22
    23. 23. Step1 — Reflection & Reorientation  Consider how one might Unselfishness have dealt with the problem differently  What could be done better next time  Decide to take Selfishness responsibility for one‘s contribution to the conflict © IEF 23
    24. 24. Step 2 — Reversal & Restitution Right Wrong  Reverse whatever caused the other to feel hurt and violated  Make restitution to repair damage done  Be open to receive restitution  Correct injustice © IEF 24
    25. 25. Step 3 — Reconciliation & Renewal Loving Relationship  Give up claim to retaliation  Forgive and be open to receive forgiveness Broken  Resolve to help the other change Relationship  Foster good will © IEF 25
    26. 26. Restorational Conflict Resolution Step 1. Reflection & Reorientati on Step 2. Reversal & Restitution © IEF 26
    27. 27. Responsibilities of Offender & Offended Offender Offended  Admit wrong  Make restitution  Continue until forgiven  Consider own faults  Accept restitution  Forgive One person may stand in both © IEF 27
    28. 28. Conflict Resolution in Schools  Opportunity for character growth  More effective within a general character education effort © IEF 28
    29. 29. Give Students Choices  Challenge students to analyze and suggest solutions to conflict  Expand students’ repertoire of responses to provocation © IEF 29
    30. 30. Coach in Communication Skills  Help students restate conflicts in terms of their feelings instead of blaming and accusing  Have both sides articulate the other’s viewpoint © IEF 30
    31. 31. Foster Respect & Empathy to Reduce Conflict  Set an example of respectful handling of disputes  Teach that demeaning words and attitudes can do © IEF 31 more damage
    32. 32. Employ Group Dynamics  Use class meetings as forums to deal with disagreements  Use roleplaying to explore options © IEF 32
    33. 33. Classroom Conflict Resolution Options  Encourage students to resolve conflicts themselves  Use peer mediation  Teacher serves as mediator © IEF 33
    34. 34. Family Strife © IEF 34
    35. 35. Family Members Can Seem Like Worst Enemies  Closeness increases trust and expectations  Opportunity for greater hurt and betrayal  Can be hardest to forgive  May feel permanently trapped  Temptation to divorce, cheat or emotionally © IEF 35
    36. 36. © IEF 36
    37. 37. Who Becomes the Peacemaker?  More mature and selfless one among those in conflict  One who takes responsibility to resolve the conflict  Initiates efforts of reconciliation © IEF 37
    38. 38. Suggestions for Marital Conflict Resolution  Create a safe context for communication  Select time, place and strategy wisely  Focus on changing oneself, not the spouse  Take responsibility for one’s own contribution to © IEF 38
    39. 39. Suggestions for Marital Conflict Resolution  Depersonalize the issues  Experiences prior to marriage and gender differences can be the source of many clashes  Practice acceptance of what cannot be changed © IEF 39
    40. 40. Suggestions for Marital Conflict Resolution  Find gratitude for one’s spouse  As the other parent of one’s child  As a source of personal growth  Seek an elder’s viewpoint © IEF 40
    41. 41. Mediation — Support for Conflict Resolution  Involves neutral and trusted helper outside the conflict  Aids both sides to find a basis for constructive interaction  Mediator is only a facilitator © IEF 41
    42. 42. Attitude of Mediator  Concern for both sides  Affirms the value of both sides  Gains trust from both sides that each is being treated fairly  Aims for a win-win outcome  Guides both sides © IEF 42
    43. 43. Mediation Skills — Towards the Offender  Help the offender accept responsibility  Encourage admission of wrong  Help the offender accept the challenge of restitution  Avoid labeling and blaming © IEF 43
    44. 44. Mediation Skills — Towards the Offended  Help the offended forgive and release grudges  Help the offended recognize own faults  Help the offended to accept an apology  Foster harmony and friendship © IEF 44
    45. 45. © IEF 45
    46. 46. Value of Resolving Conflict  Frees up time and energy to create and progress  Ends the waste of resources involved in defense and aggression  Heals and liberates the individual © IEF 46

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