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1. EWRT 1A
Day 6
Essay 1 Revision Workshop

2. AGENDA
 Quiz
 Writing Workshop: You should have two
clean copies of your complete draft.
(One can be electronic).
 Marking your draft
 Peer commenting
 Revision strategies: Your Personal Participation
point (20) depend on your active participation in
the peer review session. (There are also some
House points at stake.)
 Submission Requirements: Submitting
through TurnItIn on Canvas.

3. Quiz: Ch 9-12
 1. In Chapter 9, what causes Harry to fall off his broom during the
quidditch match?
 2. When Harry encounters dementors, what does he hear in his
head?
 3. What do Fred and George give Harry to help him visit Hogsmeade?
 4. What horrifying news does Harry learn about Sirius Black when
he’s eavesdropping on the adults in the Three Broomsticks?
 5. What spell does Lupin teach Harry to counter the dementors? (I
will accept either the spell words or the name of what the spell
conjures.)

4. Preparation for Peer Review
1. Everyone should have two copies of their
draft. (One can be electronic).
2. Everyone will receive a copy of the peer
review worksheet.
3. If you don’t have at least one hard copy
of your essay (and access to one
electronic copy), please go and make
one. Hopefully, there will be a space for
you when you return.

5. 1. Your MLA formatted header and heading
2. Your original title
3. Your introduction to the essay
4. Your thesis.
5. Your topic sentences for all of the body paragraphs.
6. A properly integrated and cited quotation, formatted in MLA style.
7. Your quotation from your outside source (marginalization article), formatted and
cited in MLA style.
8. Your counterargument statement(s).
9. Your conclusion.
10.Mark any other section that you would like your reviewer to notice or comment
on.
11.Near the end of your essay, ask one question you have about your draft.
Mark the following parts of one hard copy of your essay, using
brackets to designate the beginning and ending of each section:

6. Title
Intro
Thesis
Header
Heading
Last name 1
Student Name
Kim Palmore
EWRT 1A
20 July 2017
Clever, Original Title
Details outlining your situation or motivation for your argument.
A clear, arguable statement asserting your stance.

7. Your job as a reader is to answer the questions (in writing)
on the handout. These questions will help you help the
writer to improve the paper in terms of organization,
content, integrating quotations, and MLA style. It will also
help you do a better job revising your own essay.
If you don’t know the answer to a question, ask me. I will
be happy to help you.
This is not an editing exercise;
it is a revision process.
This session is geared toward revision—not editing. While you may circle errors
you notice in the text, refrain from making editing suggestions, that is
spelling, grammar, and word choice suggestions.

8. Follow the directions on the handout. Respond to
each prompt carefully and completely.
A good critical reading does three things: It lets the writer know how the
reader understands the point of the story, praises what works best, and
indicates where the draft could be improved.
1. Evaluate how well the issue is presented.
Summarize: Tell the writer what you understand the issue to be about. If
you were already familiar with it and understand it differently, briefly
explain.
Praise: Give an example from the essay where the issue and its
significance come across effectively.
Critique: Tell the writer where more information about the issue is
needed, where more might be done to establish its seriousness, or how
the issue could be reframed in a way that would better prepare readers
for the argument.

9. Get into pairs;
You can work with someone outside your House.

10. Writing Workshop: The Process
How to start:
• Exchange papers so that readers
can follow along.
• Each person will read his or her
essay aloud. EVERYONE SHOULD
FINISH READING BEFORE ANYONE
BEGINS RESPONDING.
• Readers will follow along as the
writer presents his or her work;
readers may circle obvious errors.
• If you cannot decide reading order,
the youngest reads first.
• Answer all of the questions on the
handout in writing
When you are done:
1. Bring the paper and your
notes to me so I can record
your work.
2. Return both the paper and
your notes to the author.
3. Work on your own paper until
we end the writing workshop.
4. When you are both done
responding, ask and answer
questions together

11. Essay 1 should be submitted to me electronically
through Turnitin on Canvas by noon on Friday,
February 2.
1. Before you submit your essay, please save
your file as your last name and the essay
number, like this: Smith 1. This will help me
keep your essays organized.
Smith 1

12. Submit your essay through Turnitin
 Submit your essay as a
.pdf or Microsoft Word
.doc or .docx format
 If you use Google Drive,
simply download your
document as a Word doc
or as a pdf.
1. Go to Canvas
2. Click on “Assignments”
3. Go to the Essay Group of assignments
4. Click on the appropriate essay: “Essay 1, 2, or 4”
5. Scroll to the bottom of the assignment and you will see the picture below

13. Homework
 Read HP (Chapters 13-14 )
 Discussion #7: your properly
formatted works cited entries:
the film and at least one other
source.
 Essay due #1 due Friday, week
4, at noon. Using the
comments you received from
your readers, revise and edit
Essay #1. Your paper must be in
MLA format.