1. From the breadth and depth of the economic downturn, it was cle.docx

1. From the breadth and depth of the economic downturn, it was
clear that no one single policy action would address the
problem. Briefly discuss how the various actions taken by the
Treasury and the Fed served to work together or possibly
against one another to address the problems.
2. How did the backgrounds of both Geithner and Bernanke
serve to assist or hinder them in understanding and acting to
solve the problems?
3. "The biggest problem we now face is how the Treasury and
Fed can withdraw from the heavy level of financial support that
they’ve provided without plunging the economy back into a
recession." Please comment on this proposition.
ENG 102 Media Analysis Rubric
Points
2
F
Points
3
D-/D/D+
Points
3.5
C-/C/C+
Points
4
B-/B/B+
Points
5
A-/A/A+
Thesis & Focus
Thesis, focus on single element of media, central idea,
audience, purpose, digressions

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of
audience and purpose. Focus is unclear.
Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.
Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently
addressed.
Focus might be unclear or muddled between more than one part
of chosen media.
Reveals limited awareness of audience and purpose. Central
idea either lacking or inconsistently addressed.
Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or
otherwise problematic. Focus is clear, but might be muddled
between more than one part of chosen media. Awareness of
audience and purpose may be adequate but inconsistent. Central
idea is perhaps too general and supported by irrelevant
examples.
Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout
most of the paper. Focus is limited to ONE part of chosen
media. Awareness of audience and purpose is sufficient. Central
idea is clear and maintained in most of the essay.
Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the
entire paper. Focus is limited to ONE part of chosen media.
Paper demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and
purpose. Central idea/focus maintained throughout.
Support & Development
Thesis support, thesis development, analysis of media, use of
examples, logic, and reason
No support of thesis with relevant facts, examples, reasons, or
evidence. Body of essay fails to analyze chosen media. Topic
development is flawed or non-existent.
Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate.
Body of essay analyzes chosen media very ineffectively.
Topic development may have been attempted, but does not form
conclusions and/or fails to exhibit clear reasoning.

More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. Body of
essay analyzes chosen media, perhaps ineffectively. Some
irrelevant support may be present, but most evidence supports
thesis.
Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some way.
Body of essay analyzes chosen media effectively.
Examples are sufficient. Thesis is supported and developed in
most paragraphs.
Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement
of evidence. Body of essay analyzes chosen media very
effectively.
All assertions are supported and relate to thesis.
Coherence & Organization
Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic
sentences
No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no
transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no understanding of
organization. Many sentences within paragraphs do not relate to
each other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no
discernable topic sentences.
Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic.
Few transitions. Perhaps numerous digressions. Mostly missing
or problematic topic sentences. Demonstrates little
understanding of organization.
Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one
significant weakness is present: undeveloped introduction,
undeveloped conclusion, illogical paragraph order. Adequate
transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may
lack clear topic sentences.
Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.
Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although
improvements could be made. Most paragraphs have clear topic
sentences. Essay establishes a clear plan of development.
Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper.
Demonstrates good understanding of organization.

Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion:
Introduction establishes the essay’s main idea, and conclusion
summarizes thesis and main ideas without merely copying and
pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective transitions are
present throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent
understanding of organization.
Language & Style
Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article
misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.), typos/misspellings,
vocabulary
May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness,
redundancy, or awkwardness.
May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language for
academic audience.
Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences and
vocabulary are inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.
May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or
awkwardness.
May contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic
audience.
Contains repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficient sentence
structure and/or limited vocabulary.
May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness,
May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic
audience.
Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence
constructions and vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.
May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness,
May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic
audience.
Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied
sentence construction and vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is
minor.

May contain 1 error in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or
awkwardness.
May contain 1 error in inappropriate language for academic
audience.
Demonstrates sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and
complex sentence construction and vocabulary. Little-to-no
unnecessary repetition.
Grammar
Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form
errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement
Contains more than 5 different grammar errors.
The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 4 – 5 different grammar errors. The identical 2 – 3
errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 2 – 3 different grammar errors. The identical 1 – 2
errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 1 grammar error, which may be repeated throughout
the essay.
Contains either no grammar errors, or 1 – 2 different errors with
no repetition.
Punctuation & Capitalization
Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization
errors, semicolon errors, colon errors
Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors.
The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The
identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The
identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be
repeated throughout the essay.
Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2

different errors with no repetition.
Format
heading,
title,
margins, spacing,
length*,
underlined thesis
*Length for Media Analysis is 500 words minimum
Doesn’t meet formatting requirements:
Formatting may be missing four or more elements (either no
title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or
thesis not underlined).
Length may not meet minimum requirements.
Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements:
Formatting may be missing three elements (either no title,
incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis
not underlined).
Length may not meet minimum requirements.
Meets some formatting requirements:
Formatting may be missing two elements (either no title,
not underlined).
Length may not meet minimum requirements (an essay that does

not meet length minimum will score no higher than 3 in this
category)
Meets most formatting requirements:
Formatting may be missing one element (either no title,
not underlined).
Length meets minimum requirements of 500 words.
Meets all requirements.
Formatting is appropriate in terms of heading, title, margins,
spacing, underlining thesis.
Length meets minimum requirements of 500 words.
Use of Research
& MLA
Source minimums, incorporation of sources (including use of
signal phrases), use of research to argue topic, MLA in-text
quote formatting, Works Cited list
This paper requires at least two sources: chosen media + one
other source.
Source minimum requirements are not met.
Research is insufficient, irrelevant, or inadequate.
Sources are not incorporated at all, or are done very poorly.
Five or more errors in documenting sources using MLA style
may be present.
Works Cited page either omitted or formatted very poorly. It
may be difficult or impossible to discern which sources are in
the list.

Source minimum requirements may not be met (Note: If source
minimum is not met, the essay will score no higher than 2 in
this category).
Research is superficial and/or sources are incorporated poorly.
No more than four different errors in documenting sources using
MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be
repeated.
Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, and
some sources may be omitted from the list.
Source minimum requirements (chosen media + one other
source) are met.
Research may be superficial, sources may be poorly
incorporated.
No more than three different errors in documenting sources
using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be
repeated.
Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, but
all sources are listed.
source) are met.
Fairly thorough research with mostly effective use of sources.
No more than twodifferent errors in documenting sources using
MLA style. These identical two errors may be repeated.
Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all
sources are clearly listed.
source) are met. Thoroughly researches the topic, uses sources
effectively.
No more than one different error in documenting sources using

MLA style. This identical error may be repeated.
Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all
sources are clearly listed.
Last Name 2
First Name Last Name
Composition II
Classification Essay
19 October 2015
The Three Categories of Orchestral Instruments
The orchestra is a large, organized group of musicians who
perform a broad variety of musical works, such as symphonies,
concertos, or more recently, soundtracks. For someone who is
not well acquainted with orchestral instruments, it can be
confusing to attend an orchestra concert and see so many
musicians playing on various instruments across the stage. Paul
Mathews, Associate Dean for Academic Affairs at Johns
Hopkins’ Peabody Conservatory, writes that the orchestra can
be viewed as a “human organism,” so that “the strings form the
nervous system…the brass and woodwind form the blood system
under its double classification of arteries and veins, and finally
the percussion instruments form the lymphatic system” (93). Of
the several ways orchestral instruments could be classified,
arguably the clearest divisions fall into three groups by
evaluation of melodic importance and instrumental similarity:
strings, brass and woodwinds, and percussion. Comment by
Author: Good job explaining the source’s credentials.
Comment by Author: Great claim that is narrow enough to
support in the body paragraphs.

Be sure to create a thesis with a narrowed claim and/or some
type of parameters, which can help set the stage for the essay’s
organization. In addition, your claim must be
arguable/debatable; otherwise, you won’t be able to support
it/prove it true. For instance, are your classifications the three
most recognizable? Are they the three worst kinds? Are they the
only three in your opinion within particular confines? Example
1: The three most recognizable mothers are the perfectionist,
best friend, and me-first. Example 2: Regardless of location,
any given baseball game will find among its fans the following
three types: the fair weather fan, the die-hard fan, and the
newbie.
Then, you could list them from most to least liked in the thesis
and in the body paragraphs. Remember, your topic sentences
should express a logical order for your subtopics. Each topic
sentence does not need to note the order, but at least the first
body paragraph’s topic sentence and every other one or every
few should make that claim to help the reader stay on track.
*Remember, the support rubric section is tied to the thesis
section. Without a clearly written and developed thesis, it is
difficult to determine if and to what degree your arguments and
content support your thesis. In many cases, the support section
will not score higher than the thesis score because the two
components work together to form a whole unit. Therefore, be
sure to spend ample time developing the thesis so that you earn
credit for strong support if and where applicable.
Stringed instruments form the largest and most important
instrument group within the orchestra—“more than half,”
according to David Ewen (381). The string sections are truly the
core of the orchestra and tend to carry the melodic line most
frequently. In fact, some musical pieces are written only for
string orchestra, meaning only these instruments are used. A
viewer will recognize them surrounding the conductor in a
semi-circle arrangement on stage, including violins, violas,

cellos, double basses, and harps. All of these instruments
possess fine strings stretched over or across wood to create
sound, giving them a striking similarity to the range and
inflections of the human voice, and extraordinary ability to
communicate emotion. A total of four strings are used on
violins, violas, cellos, and double basses, with each respective
instrument possessing a lower note range than the one before. A
separate part of the instrument, called the bow, is made of wood
with horse hair stretched across it. This is artfully drawn over
the instrument’s strings to create music. The harp is “the only
instrument among the strings that differs radically in shape, and
in number of strings.” It utilizes around forty-six strings,
plucked or swept over to create intricate tones (Ewen 382). The
emotional power and large presence that the string section
possesses give a solid core to the modern orchestra.
Comment by Author: Nicely organized via topic sentences.
Be sure your topic sentences denote which order you chose for
your subtopics, which should be related the claim in your thesis.
For instance, if your thesis says, “The three most recognizable
teachers are (add three most recognizable types),” your
paragraph order might descend from most to least popular. You
can also go from best to worst, etc. Each topic sentence does
not need to note the order, but at least the first body
paragraph’s topic sentence and every other one or every few
should make that claim to help the reader stay on track.
Comment by Author: Very strong support for the two
claims in this paragraph.
Each body paragraph should support two claims: 1) the claim in
your thesis (The three most popular heroes are; regardless of
location, any given basketball game will find among its fans,
etc.) and 2) the claim in your topic sentence, which relates to
how you choose to organize your essay (best to worst, most
recognizable to least, etc.).

Sample thesis: “Regardless of stadium location, any given
basketball game will find among its fans the following three
types: the fair-weather fan, the die-hard fan, and the newbie.” I
would organize my paragraphs from the most to least
recognizable, so I would first change the order of the fans in the
thesis to the order in which I present them in my essay
according to most to least recognizable: die-hard fan, fair-
weather fan, and newbie. Remember, each topic sentence does
not need to note the order, but at least the first body
paragraph’s topic sentence and every other one or every few
should make that claim to help the reader stay on track. Review
the sample shortened paragraph below for at least four points
each paragraph should contain: 1) a topic sentence that specifies
or hints to the order, 2) characteristics of your subtopic, 3)
examples of your subtopic (optional but helpful support), 4)
why/how your subtopic supports the thesis, and 5) a concluding
sentence.
Sample paragraph: 1) The die-hard fan is by far the most
recognizable fan in a sports stadium. 2) He or she is likely
dressed in as much team gear as possible, and 60% of these die-
hard fans sit within the 25% of seating nearest the playing field
(Smith). 3) Producer, director, writer, and actor Spike Lee is
considered a die-hard New York Knicks fan because he is
almost always sitting sideline at Knicks’ games, wearing
Knicks’ attire or colors, and drawing attention by speaking with
the players and acting out after unfavorable calls. 4) These die-
hard fans are clearly noticeable, and although Spike Lee may be
one of the more extreme cases, major sporting events have die-
hard fans because these fans are not likely to miss their teams’
games, especially the home games, because 70% of die-hard
fans live in the same cities as their favorite teams (Doe &
Anderson 57). 5.) Because these distinct fans enjoy the game on
a much more extreme level than casual fans, this latter group is
best suited enjoying the game in the second level section of the
stadium behind the die-hards.

After the strings, brass and woodwinds form the second
most important group of orchestral instruments. Although they
do not possess the all-important melody line as frequently as the
strings, they still wield great influence over tone and mood.
Similar to each other, yet still different, they are both played by
forcing air through brass or wooden apparatuses, but are placed
in two distinct, neighboring sections within the orchestra.
Stops, placed over air holes on the instruments, such as on the
trumpet or flute, help create the different pitches of sound. The
brass section, including trumpets, French horns, trombones, and
tubas, is “the most brilliant in resonance,” since the air forced
through these metal instruments creates great volume (Ewen
383). Trumpets blare fanfares and French horns broadcast
heroic themes, which soar high above the lush strings. But the
eight woodwind instruments bring a contemplative variance of
sound that comes with lower volume capacity, like the clarinet
airing a flowing melody line that passes between the woodwinds
and strings. Together, the brass and woodwind sections create
dimension and give strength of sound volume to the orchestra.
Although the strings, brass, and woodwinds may enjoy higher
importance and frequent possession of the melody line, the
percussion instruments form an impressive group of odd-shaped
mechanisms. This “loudest section of the orchestra,” David
Ewen writes, “gives stress to the rhythm and plays an important
role in building up powerful sonorous effects and climaxes”
(383). Their infrequent possession of the melody line makes
them the least influential of the three groups. Nearly all are
played by some kind of striking or hitting of the instrument, and
nearly half utilize metallic tones. The percussion section boasts
a large diversity in style, shape, and number of instruments,
ranging from huge gongs producing ominous crashes to small
triangles and chimes boasting delicate, high-pitched metallic
tones. Even pianos are considered part of the percussion section
when they are called for in specific orchestral pieces. It is
common for some percussion instruments to vary in number at
any given orchestra concert, since not all pieces require the

same ones. Instruments in this section are less likely to be
spotlighted often or for long lengths of time, since their main
role is normally rhythm and dramatic effects. However,
instruments such as the xylophone or marimba may take up the
melody occasionally. With its wide variety of instruments, the
percussion section unites to provide rhythmic stability and extra
flashes of flare and power that enhance the orchestra’s
performance. Comment by Author: The sources appear
throughout the essay.
In summary, an orchestra creates masterful sounds with the
many and diverse instruments it employs. Strings form the heart
of the orchestra with lush tones from vibrating strings and their
emotional differentiation. Brass and woodwinds bring height of
sound and variance of color by utilizing air and stops. Finally,
percussion instruments give a foundation of rhythm and shape
to the orchestra’s sound through the striking of objects. Put
together, the three classifications of orchestral instruments form
a powerful musical force, enthralling the novice as well as the
most experienced listener. Comment by Author: Strong
ending sentence.
Works Cited
Ewen, David. The Home Book of Musical Knowledge.
Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall, 1954. Print.
Mathews, Paul. Orchestration: An Anthology of
Writings.Google Books. London: Routledge, 2006. Web. 16 Oct.
2015.
Last Name 1

Maslankowski 2
English Composition II
Frankenstein Literature Analysis Essay
5 October 2015
Nature vs. Nurture in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
The argument over whether nature or nurture is responsible for
a person’s development and behavior is an enduring question
that is centuries old. The nature vs. nurture debate is at the
forefront of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Through her creature,
Shelley examines whether a person is born evil and malicious or
if he gradually becomes that way because of life experiences.
While Frankenstein and the creature each have distinct natures,
both are nurtured differently. Some may argue that their natures
differs as much as the way they were, or weren’t, nurtured;
however, the creature is human, like Frankenstein, based on his
genotype; although abnormal and not typically classified in any
human species category, the creature is still social with a
distinct need of acceptance, validation, and companionship. In
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Shelley adequately supports the
notion that nurture presides over nature because while the
creature is kind and benevolent at first, Frankenstein’s lack of
proper nurturing and society’s constant shunning turn him evil,
much like the current debate over bullying in schools.
Comment by Author: Strong thesis.The objective of this
essay is to explain how and how well Shelley addresses one of
the themes from the assignment instructions. Before you begin
this essay, choose a theme from the assignment instructions.
Then, develop a claim regarding that theme based on your
understanding of the novel (Your thesis should not simply
mention the theme—“Shelley addresses the nature vs. nurture
theme”—instead, you must make a claim regarding that theme).
For instance, if you want to discuss the nature vs. nurture
theme, you need to determine if you think Shelley favors one
over the other or if she addresses both equally. The claim in
relation to your chosen theme must be part of the thesis. Next,

find a broad situation from the novel that exemplifies your
claim that you can break down into specific scenarios. For
example, if you say Shelley favors the nurture over nature
theory, your broad example for the thesis might be, “…because
the monster acts destructively as a result of Victor’s poor
nurturing.” In the body paragraphs, you can easily break that
down into three specific examples, each in its own body
paragraph, to help support your claim.Finally, consider a real
world application such as a popular news story or research
study that parallels and supports your claim about the theme.
For example, if you think Shelley favors the nurture theory over
the nature theory because the creature turns to bad behavior
after the society around him treats him poorly, your real world
example might report on a study where twins were separated at
birth and raised by distinctly different families only to develop
in the way in which each was raised by the respective families,
supporting your claim about the idea that nurture has a stronger
influence than nature. A thesis for this paper should (1) include
the theme you've chosen in Frankenstein, (2) a) how and b) how
well Mary Shelley portrays that theme, and (3) the real world
application example you use in the essay to show how that
theme relates to society. For example, “(1) In Mary Shelley’s
Frankenstein, Shelley (2) adequately supports the idea that
science can go too far by expressing Victor Frankenstein’s
inability to manage his creation, and although the novel was
originally printed in 1818, (3) current cloning procedures mimic
Shelley’s centuries old fear.”
Shelley begins by having Frankenstein describe to Walton just
how he came to study anatomy and the causes of life and death
leading up to his ultimate discovery, recollecting, “After days
and nights of incredible labour and fatigue, I succeeded in
discovering the cause of generation and life; nay, more, I
became myself capable of bestowing animation upon lifeless
matter” (Shelley 49). Frankenstein goes on to expound upon his
genius and believes his creation would “bless me as its creator
and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their

being to me. No father could claim the gratitude of his child so
completely as I should deserve theirs” (51). Yet, when
Frankenstein gives life to his creature, something he has toiled
for and looked forward to for two years, he forsakes the
creature, recalling, “now that I had finished, the beauty of the
dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my
heart. Unable to endure the aspect of the being I had created, I
rushed out of the room” (56). Frankenstein abandons his
creature, leaving the creature to fend for himself having not
taught him the basic life lessons every child learns from a
parent: eating and drinking, letters and numbers, and speaking
and reading. The creature must learn these things for himself
and must embark on his own quest for human knowledge,
starting a resentment inside him he cannot understand as yet.
The creature finds himself lonely and confused and recalls how
he felt after leaving Frankenstein’s house saying, “I was a poor,
helpless, miserable wretch; I knew, and could distinguish,
nothing; but, feeling pain invade me on all sides, I sat down and
wept” (118). In their article regarding nature and nurture, Reif,
Rösler, Freitag, Schneider, Eujen, Kissling, Wenzler, Jacob,
Retz-Junginger, Thome, Lesch, and Retz agree in that studies
have shown “oppositional and aggressive behavior in childhood
is predictive of according offensive, aggressive and antisocial
behavior in adulthood, as are adverse family circumstances like
childhood maltreatment” (2375-76). Frankenstein’s inability to
nurture his creation, therefore, plants the seed of evil in the
creature that begins to fester and grow as the creature is treated
poorly by society.
Similarly, the people of society treat the creature atrociously. In
stumbling across a village, the creature is happy to see others
like him, but the villagers see him and immediately shun him, as
the creature recounts: “children shrieked, and one of the women
fainted. The whole village was roused; some fled, some attacked
me, until, grievously bruised by stones and many other kinds of
missile weapons, I escaped” (Shelley 122). Miraculously, even
having been treated so horribly by the villagers, when the next

day the creature happens upon the DeLacy family living in a
cottage in the woods, he is captivated by them. At first, he
steals food from them, but after learning about their poverty,
how little stores they have, and how hard they have to work, he
sympathizes with their plight, abstains from stealing food, and
chops their wood for them to lighten their work load. The
creature, craving their love and acceptance, risks making
contact with the blind father, only to be happened upon by the
children when “Agatha fainted; and Safie, unable to attend to
her friend, rushed out of the cottage. Felix darted forward, and
with supernatural force tore me from his father, to whose knees
I clung; in a transport of fury, he dashed me to the ground, and
struck me violently with a stick” (160). Infuriated with the
rejection by the DeLacys and the knowledge they have fled
because of him, the creature begins to feel real loss and recalls,
“when I reflected that they had spurned and deserted me, anger
returned, a rage of anger, and, unable to injure any thing human,
I turned my fury towards inanimate objects” (164). This family
the creature loves has rejected him like his own creator, and
even when feeling such anger and rage, he still cannot bring
himself to hurt a living person. Comment by Author: Good
support and organization.In the body paragraphs of the
application essay, you will include examples from the novel and
other credible outside sources that support the claim in your
thesis. Consider using each of the first few body paragraphs
(one example per paragraph) to show how your chosen scenarios
support the claim related to your theme. For example, if you
think Shelley favors the nurture over the nature theory, what are
three examples from the novel that support this claim? Then,
include a real-world example and application in the next
paragraph or two. For example, is there a popular news story or
historical scientific event that portrays the same idea as your
claim? What is that event and how does it parallel to your
examples from the novel? The essay should be heavy in
Frankenstein examples and light in real world applications with
one real world example. Please see the paragraph organization

feedback tip below this insert for general paragraph
organization guidelines.SAMPLE PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE:
Most of your topic sentences should be argumentative (include a
claim and touch upon why) because you are supporting or
refuting the author's (Shelley) use and support of a chosen
theme in the novel. For instance, “Mary Shelley adequately
supports the idea that science can go too far by showing the
creature’s destructive rampage, beginning with (add one of the
creature’s first foul acts).” Then, support that claim with
excerpts from the novel as well as details from other outside
sources. For instance, “Science experimentation where giving
life is the objective interrupts natural flow and order, so when
the creature is born without parents and some sort of parental or
supervisorial guidance, chaos ensues as its time as a living
being progresses. These negative science experimental effects
are evident when the creature explains its longing for love,
nurturing, and support: (add quote from the novel). Jane Doe,
author of “Development Psychology,” also strongly supports the
idea that scientific gain is not without hurdles when the
experimentation relates to child rearing. Doe explains that (add
supporting quote), which is clearly presented when the creature
says, (add quote from novel).”
Furthermore, almost immediately after suffering his loss of the
DeLacys, the creature again tries to be altruistic; after hearing a
young girl’s voice and realizing she has slipped into the river,
he saves her and “endeavored, by every means in my power, to
restore animation” (Shelley 167). He is then seen by a man who
promptly shoots him as reward for his benevolence. The
creature then states, “The feelings of kindness and gentleness,
which I had entertained but a few moments before, gave place to
hellish rage and gnashing of teeth” (168). Time after time the
creature’s good deeds and kindnesses are met with horror, pain,
loneliness, and segregation from society. In his article, “Why
Nature & Nurture won’t go away,” Steven Pinker writes that
“Man is man because he has no instincts, because everything he
is and has become he has learned…from his culture, from the

man-made part of the environment, from other human beings”
(7). Frankenstein and society have taught the creature that he is
horrid, a wretch, and not worthy of human existence by their
actions, or in his case, Frankenstein’s inaction in not properly
nurturing his creation. The creature does not commit any
reprehensible crime until all these lessons have taken place.
Only then does he happen to encounter William, and seeing him
as innocent and unprejudiced, he plans to keep him as a
companion; however, upon finding out who his family is, the
creature destroys him and states, “my heart swelled with
exultation and hellish triumph; clapping my hands, I exclaimed,
‘I, too, can create desolation; my enemy is not impregnable; this
death will carry despair to him, and a thousand other miseries
shall torment and destroy him’” (Shelley 170). His revenge
against his creator has just begun. Comment by Author: The
essay includes novel excerpts as support.
In present day society, nature vs. nurture is still debated in
schools as to what really causes a child to become a bully. Is it
that he/she is predisposed to aggressive behavior genetically or
is this learned behavior? Most science points to it being a
combination of factors, one’s propensity towards violence;
however, Pinker explains that that no one is a blank slate
stating, “All behavior is the product of an inextricable
interaction between heredity and environment during
development, so the answer to all nature-nurture questions is
‘some of each’” (6). Bullies manipulate others by means of
physical and emotional threats and use aggressive actions and
words to achieve their end game, whether that is domination of
another or just getting their way. Studies have shown that two
hormones, testosterone and cortisol, may be responsible for
increased aggression; however, these studies also showed that
“testosterone-related behaviors were dependent on the quality of
parent-child relations and not on a direct relationship between
testosterone and behavior” (Hazler, Carney, and Granger 301).
Similar studies in girls yielded similar results. Comment by
Author: Great real world example that represents the theme

noted in the thesis.
Consequently it seems, even by today’s science, that nurture
presides over nature in one’s predisposition toward violent
behavior. Frankenstein’s creature doesn’t really have a genetic
map one could study to determine his genetic predisposition for
violence as there is no uniformity or predictability that can be
gathered from each of the creature’s body parts. He has many
biological parents; however, the rejection by his creator, his
father, and the subsequent shunning by society teach him that he
is a lesser being, and this nurtures rage, anger, and evil within
him, causing him to commit heinous acts in the name of
revenge. No matter what genetic association the creature may or
may not have, genetics can only “convey a statistical
predisposition toward a certain behavior” (Reif, Rösler, Freitag,
Schneider, Eujen, Kissling, Wenzler, Jacob, Retz-Junginger,
Thome, Lesch, and Retz 2381); it does not exculpate them from
wrongdoing. They should have been taught right from wrong
and impulse control. The creature, sadly, has no chance to be
good. Frankenstein does not give him the chance.
The theme of nature vs. nurture runs throughout Mary Shelley’s
Frankenstein, from the nature of Victor Frankenstein and his
desire to be adored by a species of his own creation, to his
inability to nurture a creature he created that he abandons to a
hellish life on earth with a society abuses and shuns him. As the
creature has no real nature, being that it is made from several
different body parts, there can be no real genetic predisposition
toward violence. The creature learns this from the environment
he is thrown into by his creator. Abandonment and neglect by
his father and abuse and rejection by society teach the creature
he is wretched. Time after time the creature tries to be kind,
generous, and compassionate to those he encounters, only to be
rebuffed, rebuked, and harmed. This stokes the evil within him
with rage and anger and causes him to become evil and
malevolent, much like adverse parental rearing is, in part,
blamed for today’s bullies in schools. That this issue is still
debated today is a testament to the timelessness of Mary

Shelley’s Frankenstein.
Works Cited
DiLalla, Lisbeth Fisher, and Sufna Gheyara John. “Genetic and
Behavioral Influences on Received Aggression during Observed
Play among Unfamiliar Preschool-Aged Peers.” Palmer
Quarterly 60.2 (2014): 168-192. ProQuest. Web. 28 Sept 2015.
Hazler, Richard J., JoLynn V. Carney, and Douglas A. Granger.
“Integrating Biological Measures into the Study of Bullying.”
Journal of Counseling and Development 84.3 (2006): 298-307.
ProQuest. Web. 28 Sept 2015.
Pinker, Steven. “Why nature & nurture won’t go away.”
Daedalus 133.4 (2004): 5-17. ProQuest. Web. 22 Sept 2015.
Reif, Andreas, Michael Rösler, Christine M. Freitag, Marc
Schneider, Andrea Eujen, Christian Kissling, Denise Wenzler,
Christian P. Jacob, Petra Retz-Junginger, Johannes Thome,
Klaus-Peter Lesch, and Wolfgang Retz. “Nature and Nurture
Predispose to Violent Behavior: Serotonergic Genes and
Adverse Childhood Environment.” Neuropsychopharmacology
32 (2007): 2375-2383. ProQuest. Web. 22 Sept 2015.
Shelley, Mary. Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus. New
York: Simon and Schuster, 2009. Print.
Last Name 2
Composition II
Illustration Essay
16 October 2015
How to Make Whole Wheat Garden Herb Bread
Bread baking is a centuries-old tradition producing one of
the most beloved and satisfying food staples on earth. Bread can
be eaten plain with butter or cheese, or used as a base for other

dishes, such as bread pudding. Some of the most popular
benefits of bread baking are the wonderful wholesome smell
that emanates from the oven and the rich flavor of a hot slice
with melted butter on top. Healthy diets include bread as an
important staple, especially whole wheat bread, since it is less
refined and possesses more nutrients. Joanne Slavin of the
University of Minnesota’s Department of Food Science and
Nutrition writes that “whole grains are rich in many
components…that have been linked to the reduced risk of CHD,
cancer, DM, obesity and other chronic diseases. Most of the
protective components are found in the germ and bran, which
are reduced in the grain-refining process” (107). A lovely
braided loaf of Whole Wheat Garden Bread using traditional
household ingredients can easily be produced by the advanced
baker using three stages: mixing and kneading; braiding, rising,
and baking; and basting and serving. Comment by Author:
Effective use of a signal phrase. Comment by Author:
Explains the author’s credibility. Comment by Author: The
source has page numbers, so the page number after the part
taken from the source is correctly placed. Comment by
Author: Good thesis. Each component in the thesis has a
matching body paragraph.
Be sure your thesis aligns with the organization of your body
paragraphs. For instance, if you discuss gathering ingredients in
the first body paragraph and preparing and serving in the next
two body paragraphs respectively, your thesis should reflect
those ideas. For example, a thesis for a paper setup this way
might read, "Making ice cream is perfect for novice chefs
because the recipe only requires a couple of dairy products and
flavorings which are easily combined in an ice cream maker and
served any number of ways."
The first stage of bread baking is the formative part of the
recipe: mixing the ingredients and kneading the dough. This is
the most significant part of the bread-baking process—when you
actually form the essence of your loaf and establish its

formation. Chef Didier Rosada, Pastry Chef Instructor at The
French Pastry School in Chicago recognizes this when he writes
that “mixing is the first mandatory step to produce bread, [and]
a lot of attention must be given to this stage of the baking
process” (21). With this in mind, take a large stainless steel
bowl, and combine 1½ cups of whole wheat flour, 3 tablespoons
of sugar, 2 packages of yeast, 7 teaspoons of Italian seasoning,
and 1½ teaspoons salt. During the mixing process, heat up ¾
cup of milk, ½ cup of water, and ¼ cup of butter until the butter
is melted. Then, add the mixed dry ingredients to the warm wet
ingredients, and stir the mixture until everything is moist. Crack
an egg and drop it in, and beat the mixture until smooth. Next,
stir in just enough whole wheat flour to form a good dough
consistency. It needs to be not too wet, but not too dry—just
when the mixture begins to feel less sticky and slightly more
hand-workable. Place a thin layer of flour over a counter area
and then knead the dough until it becomes smooth. Then let it
rest for 10 minutes. The first stage of the bread-baking journey
is complete—the ingredients have been mixed to make a smooth
dough ball and kneaded to the perfect texture.
Now that the dough has rested, it is time begin the second
and more creative stage of bread baking: braiding the dough,
letting it rise to the desired size, and baking the loaf. Divide the
dough into three equal parts, and shape each third into a 15-
inch-long rope. Unite all three portions at one end and carefully
begin to make a braid, placing alternating outside strands into
the middle. Do not rush the braiding process, and try not to
break the strands while maneuvering them. Adjust the look as
needed when it is finished. After the braid is satisfactory, place
it on a buttered stainless steel pan or sheet. Cover it with a cloth
and let it rise in a warm room for approximately 20 minutes, or
until it reaches the desired size. Remove the cloth and place the
pan into an oven at 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Set a timer for 10-
15 minutes. The braided loaf has now risen and been placed in
the oven; there is only one more stage until the bread is
finished. Comment by Author: Strong organization.

Be sure to break this essay up into steps/subtopics. For
example, if you are illustrating a recipe, you might organize
three body paragraphs into preparation, cooking, and serving.
On the other hand, if you are illustrating your ideal work
environment, you would want to focus on illustrating one
subtopic per body paragraph that contributes to your ideal work
environment and why. This same guideline also applies to any
of the other topic options. Comment by Author: Good use
of action verbs on a consistent basis.
After the loaf has set in the oven for 10-15 minutes, it will
be time for the third and final stage, consisting of brushing it
with a finishing topcoat of melted butter and herbs and serving.
Check on the bread after 10 minutes in the oven. Since all ovens
are a little different, the bread may be done. A rich golden
brown color indicates it is ready to be taken out of the oven. Set
the hot pan on a trivet to cool, and melt 1 tablespoon of butter
and ⅛ teaspoon of Italian seasoning on a stove or in the
microwave. Use a basting brush to cover the top of the loaf with
a smooth, shiny finish and colorful herbs. The bread has now
been baked and sealed with butter, yielding the finished
product—an aesthetically pleasing and wholesome loaf. To
serve, slice the bread while it is still hot from the oven and
present it with butter or jam alongside a main dish. This bread
will not only fill the dining room with a delicious, mouth-
watering smell, but also provide an attractive decoration for the
table, with its shiny butter-brushed braid. Comment by
Author: Two words that are commonly, but mistakenly used for
“because” are “as” and “since,” but there are others such as
“being.” If you can replace “as” or another similar substitution
with “because” and keep the same meaning, please do so.
Remember, “as” means “at the same time,” so if your “as”
represents this phrase, you can leave the term as is.
Additionally, please note that “since” should be used only when
you reference a time in the past: “since yesterday,” “since they
began construction,” etc. Therefore, please make these changes

where applicable.
IMPORTANT: If you have a comma before any of these terms,
no matter the meaning, please omit the comma. A comma should
never precede an “as,” “because,” or similar clause.
Comment by Author: Good use of a comma to separate two
independent clauses where implied “you” is the subject on both
sides.
Just a few ingredients and a series of mixing, kneading,
braiding, setting, baking, and brushing produce a beautiful loaf
of Whole Wheat Herb Bread fit for any well-furnished
Thanksgiving table. Once this recipe has been accomplished
multiple times with satisfaction, try adding other creative
ingredients, such as cranberries, nuts, or chocolate chips
(Rosada 24). A basic herb bread recipe is suitable for a side to
complicated entrees; dessert bread can stand on its own.
Variance in bread baking helps to keep all the recipes welcome
when they are served. However, whatever the style or
complexity, whole wheat bread will always provide the same
wonderful advantages it has for centuries: health, beauty, and
satisfaction in edible form. Comment by Author: Great
conclusion that not only summarizes the steps, but it also offers
a final thought, such as an ingredient variation. Storage tips and
the like would be other options for developing the conclusion
after summarizing/synthesizing the steps.
Works Cited
Rosada, Didier. “Baking 101: Mixing and Techniques – Part I.”
Bread Lines 19:2 (2011): 21-24. The Bread Bakers Guild of
America. PDF file.
Slavin, Joanne. “Whole Grains and Human Health.” Nutrition
Research Reviews 17.1 (2004): 99-110. CambridgeUP. Web. 13
Oct. 2015.

1234 Oak Street Comment by Author: Good letter format
that follows the sample.
Tyler, Texas 75703
October 6, 2015
Mayor Martin Heines
City of Tyler
P.O. Box 2039
Tyler, TX, 75710
Dear Mayor Haynes:
The continuance of America’s heritage hinges on the
involvement of each generation in the political and civic
spheres of society. Today, this hinge is rusty and in need of
repair. Richard Fry, a senior researcher for Pew Research
Center, writes that “this year, the ‘Millennial’ generation is
projected to surpass the outsized Baby Boom generation as the
nation’s largest living generation.” Yet the Millennial
generation, aged eighteen to thirty-four years old this year, is
cynical towards government and apathetic towards voting and
civic involvement.
In a study released April 29th by Harvard University’s Institute
of Politics entitled “Survey of Young Americans’ Attitudes
Toward Politics and Public Service,” only 21% of young

Americans view themselves as “politically engaged” and 34%
“volunteer in community service.” These facts are troubling. As
of this year, an overwhelming majority of this new largest
generation of Americans is not politically involved and does not
volunteer in the local community. It is time for local
government to step in and do what it can to engage its new
constituent majority. I suggest that a new city-wide initiative be
adopted, targeted toward the Millennial generation’s age group
as potential members, for which the City of Tyler may provide
an executive committee, office and staff structure, and financial
grants, with the mission of providing a way to bring together,
activate, and empower Tyler’s young adults to become
increasingly involved in their community and participate in the
political sphere.
In order to achieve this proposal, the Tyler City Council must
adopt an initiative to attract young leaders in the community
and engage their involvement. This would include setting up an
organizational structure consisting of an executive committee
with a Tyler City Council member as chair. It might also be
helpful to install you as an honorary co-chair in this committee.
There would be standing committees governing specific
departments necessary to the project such as a marketing
committee, membership committee, and events committee.
Temporary committees may be formed as needed. Full-time staff
would be necessary to put the committee’s decisions into action,
establishing partnerships within the community such as
nonprofits and elected officials, and sponsoring education
initiatives for political involvement. The staff would take full
advantage of social media including Facebook, Twitter, and
Instagram—favorite outlets and sources of information for
Millennials. These networks can be used to further spread the
word about events and opportunities made available.
Memberships would be granted free of charge to Tyler
residents, and others who have a vested interest in Tyler. They
must be willing to sign a pledge to be an enthusiastic citizen,

participate in local elections, and fulfill certain other civic
duties that fit with their interests, such as attending city council
meetings, joining one of the program’s committees, or attending
one of the program’s forums within their first year. Once plenty
of passionate young leaders are inducted into the program, they
will be able to run many things on their own under the oversight
of the executive committee. Comment by Author: Remember,
your proposal should detail the steps and considerations
necessary for implementing your solution, but most of your
essay SHOULD NOT justify the need for your solution.
Important: focus on ONE solution and not more so that you can
explain the related steps and considerations in full. 1. Introduce
the problem: Explain the problem in the introduction and end
with the thesis.2. Propose the steps: What are the steps for
implementing your solution as you would explain them to the
organization who needs to make the change? For example, how
do you propose your letter recipient acquires the abandoned
building necessary for the before and after school programs?
Once your letter recipient obtains the building, what should he
or she do to initiate the new programs? Hire teachers? Approach
those who already work at the local school?3. Explain the costs:
What is the cost to begin implementing the solution and the
related steps (there are always costs)? How is it incurred? What
are your funding ideas? 4. Justify the solution: Will the
proposal solve another related problem, too? Why is this
proposal feasible? The conclusion is a good place to add the
justification section. (Use one paragraph for the justification if
you do not add it to the conclusion.) This section/discussion
should not be the obvious solution. 5. Refute the
counterargument: Will the letter recipient have certain
preconceived ideas about the subject? Why? (A counter-
argument section for this paper should explain what the
opposition believes. Be sure to name your opposition person,
group, organization, etc., and explain how you know this entity
has this opinion. Did you conduct an interview or research? Did
a similar project fail?) Then, in the refute, try to prove that

claim false, insignificant, or unimportant with information that
is new to the essay. Note that a refute should not be a solution.
Include researched data for at least one side. See
http://www.shoreline.edu/doldham/101/html/what%20is%20a%2
0c-a.htm6. Conclude your proposal: Summarize your proposal
in the conclusion and make your final pleas. Consider adding
the justification here.
I understand that implementing a new program under the City of
Tyler will require funds and broaden the scope of an already
large organization. However, I believe that if Tyler’s Millennial
generation becomes increasingly active in politics and
community, it will be well worth the money and effort. The City
of Tyler has more than enough funds to assign to this vital
initiative. Funds would be allotted annually, beginning with a
reasonable allocation in consideration of the salaries of four to
five full-time staff members and funds for office supplies and
event production. These funds would be granted by the city to a
separate budget for Tyler’s Young Adult Initiative, under the
category of an Initiative Infrastructure Grant, as specified under
“The City of Tyler Business Initiatives Summary” provided by
the Tyler Economic Development Council. The staff for this
initiative will present an annual financial report to the City of
Tyler’s Budget Committee in order to account for the funds
spent and adjust for any increase or decrease in financial need.
Comment by Author: Be sure to clarify how you gathered
your information.
Concerns as to the success of this initiative can be alleviated by
looking at a similar initiative’s success in nearby Ft. Worth. In
2011, Ft. Worth Mayor Betsy Price founded SteerFW, a city-
wide initiative whose mission is described on its website as
“make[ing] Fort Worth a diverse and vibrant city by engaging
emerging leaders to drive positive change.” Founded four years
ago, to combat the low voter turnout among young adults,
SteerFW has received support from community leaders and

businesses. Its membership has grown, making it the new “voice
of action-oriented young leaders.” These positive results are
good indicators that a similar program could easily succeed in
Tyler. Comment by Author: Include the specific concern
from a specific opposition. A counter-argument section for this
paper should explain what the opposition believes, which is the
opposite of the opinion you are arguing in your paper. Be sure
to name your opposition person, group, organization, etc., and
explain how you know this person or group has this opinion.
Did you conduct an interview or research to learn of this group
or person’s opposition to your idea? Then, in the refute, try to
prove that claim false, insignificant, or unimportant with
information that is new to the essay. Note that a refute should
not be a solution. Include researched data for at least the
counter-argument side to create a strong counter-
argument/refute section; however, a separate source for each
section works well. If you explain a counter-argument and
refute from one source, you are essentially summarizing the
source, which is not the purpose of the section, so be sure to
vary the source/opinion for each component: the counter-
argument and the refute. Simplistically, the counter-
argument/refute section is a fourth argument for your essay
presented in a new way: you state the opposition’s opinion first
as a way to lead into your paper’s fourth argument. Be sure all
four arguments in the essay are distinctly different from one to
the next, so do not recycled data and ideas across arguments.
See
http://www.shoreline.edu/doldham/101/html/what%20is%20a%2
0c-a.htm
Millennial young adults have been apathetic and slow to involve
themselves in politics and community. Smith County resident
Janet Baber, Texas State Coordinator for TeenPact Leadership
Schools, a nonprofit organization that trains young people in the
political process, has observed that the Millennials want “to
participate in something greater than themselves.” A city-wide

movement can fulfill that desire for group activity in a good
cause. Local government does not have to stand idle, suffering
the consequences of a diffident citizenship. As the City of Tyler
adopts initiatives to engage this new largest generation, it will
experience the benefits of active, informed, and unified people
who care about each other and the community. I look forward to
seeing what the City of Tyler and City Council will adopt as
they strive to activate an important Tyler majority. Comment by
Author: Effective conclusion that summarizes the proposal and
makes the final pleas.
Sincerely,
Works Cited
Baber, Janet. Personal Interview. 2 Oct. 2015 Comment by
Author: Interviewee is included here and in the essay, which is
a required source.
“City of Tyler Business Initiatives Summary.” Tyler Economic

Development Council. City of Tyler. Nov. 2008. PDF file.
Fry, Richard. “This year, Millennials will overtake Baby
Boomers.” Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center. 16 Jan.
2015. Web. 6 Oct. 2015.
SteerFW. n.p. n.d. Web. 6 Oct. 2015.
“Survey of Young Americans’ Attitudes Toward Politics and
Public Service.” Harvard Public Opinion Project 27 (2015): 19.
HarvardIOP. PDF file.
Last Name 2
Composition II
Critical Analysis Evaluation
20 September 2015
Frankenstein: Shelley’s Case for Secular Origins Comment by
Author: Good, strong title.Helpful source:
http://umanitoba.ca/student/academiclearning/media/Writing_a_
Great_Title_NEW.pdf
Jane Smith is a faculty member for the University of
Sheffield’s Institute for Lifelong Learning. An author and
writer, she holds several degrees and has taught at numerous
colleges across England. Smith’s gender and BS in Religious
Studies from Newton University give her a unique ability to
analyze and interpret Mary Shelley’s literary work. Smith’s
essay entitled “Religious Aspects in Mary Shelley’s
Frankenstein” effectively and adequately argues that Shelley’s
work reflects the traditional Christian belief in the spiritual
origin of man in favor of a materialistic worldview, pointing to
Shelley’s overarching use of contrast between her own

Frankenstein myth, and Milton’s Paradise Lost and the Greek
tale of Prometheus. Comment by Author: Strong thesis that
addresses the assignment’s four objectives.Create a thesis
statement for this paper that explains (1) the critic's thesis
(claim), (2) if you think the critic effectively or ineffectively
supports his or her claim, (3) how (evidence), and (4) why
(broad novel example). For section (3), focus on one major
reason that you and the critic share in support of the critic’s
claim. For component (4), include a broad example from the
novel to explain why the critic’s evidence best represents his or
her claim, and be sure to choose an overall scenario from the
novel that you can break down into specific scenes from the
story as support.To determine whether or not you agree with the
critic’s claim, focus on the quality of evidence he or she
provides but not the quantity. Take a look at the sample thesis:
“John Smith uses "Frankenstein Critique Essay" to (2)
adequately argue that (1) parental influence drives a child’s
behavior through adolescence because (3) Victor's parents
create the first monster, which is evident by the way (4) they
coddle Victor as a boy." Here, I agree with John Smith’s thesis
(claim) that (1) parental influence drives a child’s behavior
through adolescence, and I think Smith’s evidence that (3)
Victor’s parents creating the first monster in Victor (vs. the
creature being the first “monster” of the novel) is strong. The
broad scenario from the novel that I believe presents a good
supporting argument is, (4) “because they coddle Victor as a
boy.” Therefore, each of the three body paragraphs following
the précis would provide a separate example of a situation in
which Victor’s parents coddle him in the story that likely leads
to his poor, “monstrous” behavior so that I can effectively
support my thesis.Conversely, you may disagree with the
critic’s thesis and/or support. In this case you will choose the
one piece of evidence from the critique that serves as the
argument’s (claim’s) worst flaw. Then, you will show how and
why the thesis and/or poor support are incorrectly
drawn/ineffectively argued with two to three relevant, related

examples from the novel. In this approach, you are essentially
refuting the critic’s claim and/or worst evidence flaw with a few
examples from the novel. Be sure to spend a little time
explaining the critic’s flaw before you refute with the two to
three novel examples (these two to three broad examples should
be represented under an umbrella term in the thesis; see
examples above).
In sections one through three of her essay, Smth presents
three theological interpretations of Frankenstein, all of which
complement each other and point towards Shelley’s Christian
theme. While many critical readers prefer to take Frankenstein
at mere face value, Smith prefers to analyze the powerful
theological symbolism of Shelley’s famous work. Smith offers
plentiful direct literary evidence for her argument, heavily
referencing the numerous contrasts made by Shelley between
Frankenstein and Milton’s classic Paradise Lost with direct
quotations, and also between Frankenstein and the ancient
Greek myth about Prometheus. These literary contrasts, Smith
argues, are the “keys” Shelley gives her readers with which to
“unlock” her book. Smith adeptly utilizes these keys and
strongly confirms her argument of Shelley’s central secularist
theme. Comment by Author: Exemplary precis
paragraph.Please be sure it only summarizes your primary
critic's work (not both critiques) and his or her opinion(s).
Avoid inserting your own opinion, and be sure it is clear that
any claims made in this paragraph are those of the critic. The
purpose of the précis is to summarize how the author develops
and supports the major claim and to give a statement of the
author's purpose. Please see the following source as well as the
details in Topic 4’s lesson presentation regarding a precis
paragraph:
http://oregonstate.edu/instruct/phl201/modules/rhetorical-
precis/sample/peirce_sample_precis_click.html
In her first theological interpretation from Frankenstein, Smith
introduces the theme of the “over-reacher” and points out how
Shelley morphs the traditional view of the proud, rebellious

Satan into a humble, yet noble being through the opposing
characteristics she gives Frankenstein. Victor Frankenstein is
traditionally the mad scientist who reaches beyond God’s will to
create life. Smith points out that Shelley directly compares
Frankenstein to Milton’s Satan and the Greek Prometheus, both
classic over-reachers: Satan aspired to overthrow God’s
authority in heaven, and Prometheus stole fire from the gods.
The Prometheus comparison is not difficult to make because it
is contained in the alternative title of Shelley’s book: The
Modern Prometheus. As for the comparison with Milton’s Satan,
Smith quotes what Frankenstein tells Walton, “All my
speculations and hopes are as nothing; and, like the archangel
who aspired to omnipotence, I am chained in an eternal hell”
(Shelley 261). But Smith notes that while Frankenstein is
compared to Satan, he is also elevated to the role of tragic hero.
Walton writes in Frankenstein, “What a glorious creature must
he have been in the days of his prosperity, when he is thus
noble and godlike in ruin” (Shelley 260). This new twist turns
the conventional view of the egotistical over-reacher on its
head, combining the two traditionally incompatible extremes of
good and evil into one. In this way, Shelley is painting an
overarching parody of classic Christian theology, presenting
secular materialism as a replacement. Comment by Author: If
a source makes a quote in a source that has a different author,
name the quoting source that is within the larger source in your
signal phrase. List the main, larger source in your reference list
and in the parentheses. Example: John Carter argued that... (qtd.
in Smith 98). John is the quoting source within the main, larger
source which is authored by Smith. See the Citing Indirect
Sources section:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/02/
Next, Smith addresses the theological theme of “creation
mythology,” arguing that Frankenstein’s characterization is a
direct counter to Christianity’s (and hence, Milton’s) “divine
grace.” She stresses that Shelley takes the three main characters
of Paradise Lost, God the Father, Adam, and Satan, and

combines the three into just two of her own: God the Father and
Satan both represented in Frankenstein, and Adam and Satan
both represented in the monster. Shelley portrays Frankenstein
(the God/Creator figure) as an imperfect being creating another
imperfect being with imperfect motives. She paints him as a
type of Satan, the opposite of what he should traditionally be.
Frankenstein describes his self-absorbed motives to Walton,
“Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should
first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark
world. A new species would bless me as its creator and source;
many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me.
No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as
I should deserve theirs” (Shelley 51). Smith argues that by
placing the character Frankenstein in God’s place as the
monster’s creator, yet giving him the same motivations as
Satan’s, Shelley pokes fun at the idea of either one’s actual
existence. Truly, Smith is not alone in her claim, for an
offended contemporary reviewer of Frankenstein wrote in March
of 1818, “We are accustomed, happily, to look upon the creation
of a living and intelligent being as a work that is fitted only to
inspire a religious emotion, and there is an impropriety, to say
no worse, in placing it in any other light” (Edinburgh
Magazine). As for the monster, he directly calls himself both a
type of Adam and of Satan: “Like Adam, I was created
apparently united by no link to any other being in existence; but
his state was far different from mine in every other
respect…Many times I considered Satan as the fitter emblem of
my condition; for often, like him,…the bitter gall of envy rose
within me” (Shelley 153). Once again, Smith utilizes her
evidence well—Shelley’s intertwining of classic opposites into
single characters strongly supports her claim that Shelley was in
fact questioning the very foundation of their reality.
The third theological theme Smith offers is Shelley’s
presentation of “the human condition:” creatures without a holy
creator, possessing a “creative-creaturely dichotomy” which
bars us from reconciling ourselves to self-acceptance. Smith

argues that when seen as representing two sides of the same
person, Frankenstein and the monster combined show the
irreconcilable, inner turmoil of secular humanity. As proof of
her argument, she points to the way Shelley has both
Frankenstein and the monster go through many of the same
mental and physical experiences with nature, and how
Frankenstein seems to be able to know what the monster has
done or will do. Following the murder of his own brother by the
monster, Frankenstein knows in his heart the true perpetrator.
He tells Walton, “I considered the being whom I had cast among
mankind…nearly in the light of my own vampire, my own spirit
let loose from the grave, and forced to destroy all that was dear
to me” (Shelley 81). Yet in their seemingly uncanny union,
Frankenstein and the monster will never be reconciled, for each
blames the other for their wrong actions, viewing themselves
victims of each other. This depiction of humanity eternally at
war with oneself is a poetic expression of man without a
Creator. Given Smith’s evidence, Shelley’s work takes on a
frighteningly hopeless and secularist worldview. Comment by
Author: Good organization.Sample thesis: “John Smith uses
"Frankenstein Critique Essay" to adequately argue that Victor's
parents create the first monster because they coddle Victor as a
boy." Following the précis paragraph after the introduction,
create three body paragraphs, each dedicated to one instance in
the novel where Victor’s parents coddle him in a way that leads
to Victor portraying the first “monster” in the novel. Start each
of these body paragraphs with an argumentative topic
sentence—“The first way Victor’s parents coddle him that leads
to him portraying the novel’s true monster is…”—then briefly
explain the critic’s related thoughts, if applicable (depending on
how much support the critic uses, this part may only work well
in the first body paragraph); next, include examples and
excerpts from the novel to present your own support; then, in at
least two of the three paragraphs, include support from a second
Frankenstein novel critique; and finally, include discussions
that draw conclusions from your examples to explain how they

support the claim in your thesis. Follow these same ideas and
structures no matter if you agree or disagree with the critic’s
claim and/or support. If you disagree, explain the critic’s
flaw(s) in a paragraph after the précis and then refute the
critic’s claim and/or support using material from the secondary
critique and examples from the novel and in the next couple
paragraphs.SAMPLE PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE:TOPIC
SENTENCE: Critic John Smith adequately supports the idea
that the Frankenstein novel is a mirror of Shelley’s life by
showing the link between the electric spark used to give life to
the creature and Shelley’s knowledge of Galvani’s discovery
that electric pulses were responsible for muscle movement in
frogs. NOVEL SUPPORT: Further evidence of Shelley’s
knowledge of the importance of electrical currents in giving life
is evident when Victor says, (add quote from the novel).
SECONDARY CRITIQUE SUPPORT: Jane Doe, author of
“Frankenstein Critique,” also strongly supports the idea that
Shelley was well aware of electrical pulses and their
significance in bodily movements. Doe explains that Victor’s
application of the pulses during the monster’s creation is far too
coincidental to Shelley’s specific understanding of the concept,
NOVEL SUPPORT: which holds very true when considering
Victor’s statement to Walton: (add quote from the novel).
In conclusion, Smith’s arguments come from numerous
angles. Shelley’s depiction of the classic over-reacher merges
the traditional embodiment of the two separate entities of good
and evil into one. The portrayal of Frankenstein as a creator and
the monster as his Adam turns the traditional Christian view of
a Creator and his creation upside down, questioning its truth. In
the end, Shelley’s humanity is unhappily able to reconcile all
the conflicting identities, and settles into an eternal enmity with
itself. Each argument’s angle comes together to form a complete
whole, leaving Smith’s reader no doubt as to the overarching
theme of secularism: humanity without the holy and divine
Creator.

Works Cited Comment by Author: Be sure to
correctly identify your source. For example, is it a review from
a journal or magazine, or is it a simple article posted on a
webpage? Did it originally appear in a print source? You may
have to conduct a bit of research to make this determination. It
is important that you identify your source in order to create an
appropriately formatted works cited entry.Please review the
Purdue Owl website listed below for MLA Works Cited format.
Please remember that each entry needs at least one parenthetical
citation or signal phrase within the essay. Use the left
navigation menu on the page to locate the type of reference you
need: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/08/You
can also visit http://www.easybib.com or Straighterline's
citation generator at http://www.thesladvisor.com/citation-
generator/ to have citations generated for you. Be sure to select
the correct source type first and then be sure the boxes contain
the appropriate elements.NOTE, some of the citation generators
may not include placeholder elements for components that are
missing from your source. For example, according to the MLA
Handbook 7th Edition, which is considered the ruling document
for MLA format, when a web source or other source requiring
publisher information does not list a publisher and/or
publication date, you should use N.p. and n.d. respectively in
their typical positions within the entry. Many websites have
publishers. Please use the following source to check for the
publishers of your web entries: http://whois.domaintools.com/.
The publisher will be listed under Registrant Org.
The Edinburgh Magazine and Literary Miscellany: A New
Series of "The Scots Magazine" 2 (March 1818): 249-253.
rc.umd.edu. U of Maryland. Mar. 1998. Web. Sept. 14, 2015.
Smith, Jane. “Religious Aspects in Mary Shelley’s
Frankenstein.” Keats-Shelley Review 11 (1997): 1-39.
knarf.english.upenn.edu. Web. UPenn. n.d. Web. Sept. 14, 2015.
Shelley, Mary. Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus. Ed.
Brantley Johnson. New York: Simon, 2009. Print.

Last Name 4
Composition II
Cartoon Analysis
5 September 2015
A Normal Nightmare
Nightmares may be a fairly common occurrence, but never
a desired one. Many times they wake a man up with a shock in
the night—hot, sweaty, and weary with stress. Then, that
moment of truth comes, and he discerns between the illusion of
his dream and the reality of his bed, his familiar mattress, and
his room. However, sometimes even reality can abandon people
into the clutches of a living nightmare. In his thoughtful cartoon
“The American Nightmare,” Kevin "KAL" Kallaugher of The
Baltimore Sun uses symbolism, imagery, and irony to
powerfully depict America’s apathy regarding gun violence.
Comment by Author: This introduction is attention
grabbing, but the reader does not know the essay’s focus. In
other words, the essay appears as though it may be about
nightmares. Comment by Author: The thesis introduces the
cartoon via title, author, and publication. The introduction
paragraph would be another acceptable place for these items.
Comment by Author: Good format. Use italics for the titles
of long works such as books/novels, magazines, websites,
television series, and movies. Use quotes around the titles of
short works such as individual television episodes, scholarly
essays, articles, and songs. Rarely do titles employ both italics
and quotes. This would happen if the name of a long work such

as a novel is part of an article title. In this case, the novel title
would maintain italics and the rest of the article title would be
standard font, and all would be encompassed in quotation
marks.For cartoons, use italics for the series name, and place
quotes around individual cartoon strip titles. For television
shows, italicize the show’s title (series’ name), and place quotes
around individual episode titles. Comment by Author: Great
range of literal and figurative key terms from the lesson.
Comment by Author: Clear expression of the cartoon’s
single, very specific message.
Symbolism in “The American Nightmare” reveals deeper
insights into Kallaugher’s view of America and its lack of
action against gun violence. In the cartoon, Uncle Sam and Lady
Liberty are sleeping in bed together. Uncle Sam dreams that
Donald Trump has been elected President and wakes Lady
Liberty. They check the news and are relieved to find that
instead of Trump’s election, there has only been another
shooting. Kallaugher skillfully scatters meaningful symbols
throughout the frames. Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty’s coverlet
is an American flag. This symbolizes America as a whole,
sleeping obliviously in comfort and indifference. The shock of
Uncle Sam’s nightmare temporarily brings them out from under
the cover to awareness of the current news. But they are
uninterested in the reality of an older, more familiar nightmare,
and afterward retreat back under the cloak of indifference.
Kallaugher’s color choice of black and white gives each frame a
stark and cold feel representative of the night hours and eerie
dreams. On another level, the artist is portraying a night over
America—she is asleep and unable to discern the true problem
of internal violence. While these symbols may only be
recognized subconsciously by the viewer, they lend invaluable
depth to the picture of apathy towards the real nightmare.
Comment by Author: Strong topic sentence that introduces
the key term and reminds its connection to presenting the
cartoon’s specific message. Comment by Author: The basic
objective for this essay, as outlined in this paragraph, is to

describe the elements present in the cartoon—symbolism, irony,
metaphor, etc—and explain how the elements portray the
cartoon’s message. Focus on a single element per body
paragraph (include the element in the topic sentence and in the
thesis) by introducing the element and then explaining how it
helps express the cartoon’s overall message. Then, move to the
next cartoon feature in a new body paragraph.IMPORTANT:
Each paragraph should explain how the element (literal or
figurative key term) presents the specific, whole cartoon’s
message as it is noted in the thesis. Do not explain how an
element contributes to the message’s underlying theme. Instead,
each element should represent the entire cartoon’s message as
you have it written in the thesis. In other words, if the message
of a cartoon is "world peace is unattainable" and I write a
paragraph solely dedicated to explaining how the color blue in
the cartoon represents peace, I haven't quite reached the
cartoon's main message that "world peace is unattainable." I
touched upon an element, but discussing the color use simply
may not be a component that relays the whole message, so be
sure to choose literal or figurative elements that express the
entire message (some just don’t work). See example
below.First, reference the second cartoon from the top here:
http://www.mcgregorfirm.com/immigration-political-cartoons.
Then, see the sample thesis and supporting points below:The
cartoonist employs a metaphor, symbolism, and imagery to
explain how the strict immigration and deportation laws have
the potential to tear families apart. First body paragraph: The
axe is a metaphor representing the immigration bill, which will
cut—or literally separate—family members according to those
who immigrated and those who were born in the US. Second
body paragraph: The expressions on the family’s faces
symbolize their fear about the destruction the severity of these
laws will impose.Third body paragraph: The imagery of
characters’ tensed and slouched poses allows the viewers to
understand the emotions of families who will be torn apart if the
regulations are enforced to the strictest degree.

In addition, Kallaugher uses imagery scattered throughout
the cartoon’s frames to offer the viewer sensations of sight,
sound, and touch. This gives the viewer a heightened
understanding of Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty’s emotional
response to their interrupted night. Exaggerated facial
expressions reflect the feelings of horror, curiosity, sadness,
and repose experienced by the characters. The sounds uttered,
“AHHHH” and “PHEW!” help the viewer personally sympathize
with the emotions of shock and relief. Kallaugher chooses to
include the “CLICK!” word balloon in the fourth and fifth
frames to add an audial dimension to his cartoon. Upon closer
reflection, each “CLICK!” might represent the turning on and
off of Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty’s attention. Their focus and
concern turns on in the fourth frame, but quickly turns off again
in the last frame upon the realization that their specific concern
is not a reality. Uncle Sam sweats profusely in frames one and
three, imparting an increased sense of the sweaty agitation often
experienced during a nightmare. He grips his pillow in fright
and then throws it in horror. The verbal exclamations, sweating,
and physical movements are small expressions pointing a bigger
picture. The sensational news attracted the attention and
emotional trauma of Uncle Sam, standing in stark contrast to the
apathetic depression he experiences when hearing of another
shooting. Sometimes one problem in life may elicit our
emotional reactions more readily. This does not mean that it is
the most important problem, and one must be on his guard that
he is not distracted from the true need. Comment by Author:
Strong transition. Comment by Author: Even though citations
are not required, citations should be used for any text taken
from the image. Comment by Author: Literary present
works well in this essay.
Overarching his use of symbolism and imagery, Kallaugher
utilizes subtle irony: Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty’s reaction to
an unrealized problem versus a real problem. They are jolted
from their slumber by the possibility of a sensational news
story. Yet, once they realize it is only imagined, they

immediately lose interest even when a real tragedy is
announced. While this irony lends a comical aspect to the
cartoon, the truth of its nature hits home. It is easy for
Americans to ignore old, seemingly unsolvable problems in
favor of entertaining and fantastical news. All too often the
problem in life is not what one imagines, but something quite
the opposite.
The American Nightmare artfully employs symbolism, imagery,
and irony to awaken its readers to the real nightmare of
American gun violence and the unjustified disregard given to
finding a solution. It is easy to be distracted from the true
problems in life, looking instead at those which are more
fascinating. However, the importance of identifying and
addressing the current evils at hand cannot be overstated.
Oftentimes hypothesizing about a future problem when there is
a current one in need of remedy is unhelpful and adds
unnecessary stress, not to mention a sleepless night. Addressing
each new problem as it arises provides the firm foundation
needed to progress forward into the morning light. Comment by
Author: As you revise your work, try very hard to edit out most
uses of the following phrases: there are, there is, it is, it would
be, there has been, etc.—especially when these phrases come at
the beginning of a sentence. These phrases usually add bulk to
your writing without adding clarity or meaning, and they can
make your point more difficult to understand. Sometimes you
can simply omit the phrase, and in other cases you should try to
begin the sentence with the sentence’s subject. See below.Here
is a resource:
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/572/04/
Comment by Author: The conclusion summarizes the key
terms, reiterates the cartoon’s message, and provides a final
thought.
Works Cited
Kallaugher, Kevin “KAL.” “The American Nightmare.”
Cartoon. Baltimore Sun. Baltimore Sun. 20 Apr. 2015. Web. 1

Sept. 2015. Comment by Author: Acceptable format for this
particular cartoon.
Last Name 1
English Composition II
Media Analysis
10 November 2014
The Power of Art
Art is a unique medium in which a person may freely express
his or her opinion without reprisal. The meaning of each piece
of artwork may be ambiguous or heavily apparent. Theater
specifically has long been a way in which an artist could
comment on contemporary issues such as politics, justice,
morals, and religion. In more modern times, movies have
largely taken the place of theater. Movies can present powerful
ideas to the public masses and even serve to inspire millions of
people. The film V for Vendetta is a heavily symbolic film that
chronicles the tale of a masked British vigilante. The film's
main character, only known as V, attempts to destroy the
totalitarian government and all those complicit in the
government's actions, but only at great cost to him. The film V
for Vendetta uses symbolism and allegories such as the “V”
logo, Guy Fawkes mask, and an art collection to effectively
expose a tale of the dangers of authoritarian government and
inspire opposition to authoritarian governments. Comment by
Author: Good use of the literary present. Please review
http://vanderbilt.edu/writing/manage/wp-
content/uploads/2013/06/Literary%20present%20tense.pdf

Comment by Author: This is a good, specific claim that
goes beyond “enhances the production.”
Please create a thesis for this essay that explains the element
used by the author--characters, sound effects, camera angles,
etc.--which helps to enhance or detract from your chosen
production or your selected production's message. For instance,
"In the movie The Lorax, the intentions and determinations of
Lorax, Once-ler, and Alocius O'Hare represent how present day
environmentalists must fight against profit-driven industries
that are harming the environment and depleting natural
resources in order to maintain Earth’s natural state."
Avoid obscurity in the thesis with clams such as “keeps the
movie interesting,” “enhances the production,” or “impacts
viewers emotionally.” Phrases such as these are too vague and
will lead to a lack of cohesion, direction, and flow in your
essay. Do the elements in the thesis work together to present a
specific message; help the movie accomplish a certain, specific
goal; or allow viewers to better understand the plot or theme? In
sum, how do three components work together collectively to
enhance or detract from the production or the production’s
message?
*Remember, the support rubric section is tied to the thesis
section. Without a clearly written and developed thesis, it is
difficult to determine if and to what degree your arguments and
content support your thesis. In many cases, the support section
will not score higher than the thesis score because the two
components work together to form a whole unit. Therefore, be
sure to spend ample time developing the thesis so that you earn
credit for strong support if and where applicable.
The first and most apparent use of symbolism is the continual
use of the “V” logo throughout the movie. The emblem is
symbolic of the contemporary anarchist “A” logo and represents

the character's distaste for his government. Anarchy has become
synonymous with lawlessness and disorder. However, as defined
by Immanuel Kant, a famous philosopher, Anarchy is Law and
freedom without power or force (qtd. in Sullivan 243). The
theme in the movie parallels the idea that the British public
desires law and freedom – without authoritarian force. The
totalitarian government is the polar opposite of anarchy; the
fascist state can achieve law and order only with brute force and
at the complete expense of the people's individual freedoms.
The “V” logo becomes more than just a simple figure; it
becomes the emblem of the fight against the totalitarian
government and draws heavy similarities to the anarchist “A”
logo in today's society.
Furthermore, the character V lives in a secret location filled
with a vast collection of art and religious works. The art is an
allegory for the oppressed culture of the people of Britain. In
the fictional fascist state, it is illegal to possess “unapproved”
literary works of art. The legality of art and literature is
symbolic of the oppression of the people and draws a strong
parallel to the great book burnings that took place in Nazi
Germany under the Third-Reich. The Nazi Party and its
supporters gathered in May of 1933 to burn over 25,000 “Un-
German” literary works (Elgot). The suppression of art is
symbolic of the oppression of its people. First comes the
suppression of art, and next comes the suppression of the
people. Without art, a culture has no voice of its own. The
restriction and oppression of art in film are heavily symbolic of
the oppression of an entire culture and people in the movie.
Without art, there is no personal choice or freedom for the
people of Britain. The character V is not just a protector of art;
he is also symbolically the protector of the people and their
culture. Comment by Author: As you revise your work, try
very hard to edit out most uses of the following phrases: there
are, there is, it is, it would be, there has been, etc.—especially
when these phrases come at the beginning of a sentence. These
phrases usually add bulk to your writing without adding clarity

or meaning, and they can make your point more difficult to
understand. Sometimes you can simply omit the phrase, and in
other cases you should try to begin the sentence with the
sentence’s subject. See below.
Weak: “There is controversy surrounding that prescription
drug.”
Strong: “The prescription drug has caused a lot of controversy
within the medical community because it renders most users
incomprehensible.”
Instead of making a vague statement using an expletive and then
possibly expanding on the idea in the next sentence, create one
strong sentence.
Here is a resource:
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/572/04/
Comment by Author: Please avoid using air quotes. Air
quotes are those used to emphasize words or phrases in your
work. Simply omit them. Reserve quotation marks only for
encompassing direct wording (word-for-word passages) from
outside sources and around article titles. If you are using quotes
for the latter, be sure to include a citation.
Lastly, the now infamous Guy Fawkes mask worn by the
character V is heavily symbolic. The mask represents the will of
the people and their political dissent. The character V is not just
a representation of himself but of the people of Britain and their
will. The mask becomes symbolically, and nearly literally,
dawned by all who embrace his ideas. The mask is not an object
– it is an idea. That is the true power of the mask; any man can
be killed, but the idea can only be oppressed. However, the idea
always exists. The main character reinforces this idea. He
represents the idea of revolution and when V states, “Behind
this mask there is more than just flesh. Beneath this mask, there
is an idea... and ideas are bulletproof” (V for Vendetta). The
idea of revolution is a concept and concepts do not die with

individuals, groups, or ideologies. Ideas live within whoever
chooses to embrace them.
V for Vendetta is one of the most impactful and politically
charged movies of the Twenty-First century. The film uses
many symbolic political elements that are relatable to political
dissidents all over the globe. Consequentially, the mask has
become a worldwide symbol of political dissidence and has
been seen at political rallies in Thailand, Germany, The Middle
East, and the United States (Nickelsburg). The film successfully
uses the symbolism of the mask, the “V” emblem, and art to
comment on oppressive world governments past and present.
The film proves just how provoking art can be in even in the
modern world. The Guy Fawkes Mask has been dawned by many
people all over the world for many different reasons, but they
were all inspired by a single piece of art.
Works Cited
Elgot, Jessica. "Nazi Book Burnings Anniversary." The
Huffington Post UK. The Huffingtonpost.com Inc, 5 Oct. 2013.
Web. 11 Nov. 2014.
Nickelsburg, Monica. "A Brief History of the Guy Fawkes
Mask." The Week. The Week Publications, Inc, 3 July 2013.
Web. 10 Nov. 2014.
Sullivan, Roger J. Immanuel Kant's Moral Theory. Cambridge
England: Cambridge UP, 1989. Print.
V for Vendetta. Warner Home Video, 2006. DVD.

Last Name 1
Composition II
Interview Summary
10 February 2015
Farmington Pet Adoption Center
A passionate animal lover, Sandy King, is currently the Vice
President on the Board of Directors, as well as the Head
Adoption Counselor for the Farmington Pet Adoption Center
(FPAC) going on 11 years now. Before she lived in Farmington,
Ms. King resided in the suburbs of Chicago. She decided to
move back home to retire and spend more time with her
grandchildren. Shortly after moving, Ms. King was appalled by
the way animals were being treated in her new hometown; thus
prompting her to reach out as a volunteer at the FPAC. Ms.
King typically spends around 45 hours per week volunteering at
the shelter. During our interview, Ms. King explained that
FPAC’s funding is mostly from donations, their animals are
strays and pound recues, and the adopted animals do not leave
the shelter without first being neutered. Comment by Author: A
source with 10+ professional years’ experience in his or her
discipline works well for this essay.Comment by Author: Please
review the following source for semicolon and colon uses:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/punct/col-semi.html. Determine
whether a semicolon, colon, comma, or no punctuation is best
suited here by studying punctuation rules. View this link for
comma guidelines:
http://www.towson.edu/ows/modulecomma.htm
The FPAC is a non-profit, no-kill shelter overseen by the

Department of Agriculture used to provide a temporary home
for the many homeless dogs and cats. Since it is a non-profit
shelter, the only stable form of income received is from the
FPAC Resale Shop along with occasional donations. These
funds go toward the cost of food and care to maintain healthy
adoptable pets. Comment by Author: Two words that are
commonly, but mistakenly used for “because” are “as” and
“since,” but there are others such as “being.” If you can replace
“as” or another similar substitution with “because” and keep the
same meaning, please do so. Additionally, please note that
“since” should be used only when you reference a time in the
past: “since yesterday,” “since they began construction,” etc.
Therefore, please change “since” to “because” where applicable.
IMPORTANT: If you have a comma before any of these words
that should be “because,” please omit the comma. A comma
should never precede a “because” clause. Comment by Author:
Strive to use the active voice over the passive voice. First try to
identify the verb. Does the subject who/that is acting out the
verb come before the verb? If not, you may need to change to
the active voice. For instance, "The fish was caught by the
seagull" should be in active voice: "The seagull caught the
fish."
The passive voice also often fails to reference the subject,
which leads to broad claims, and, remember, your claims should
be as specific as possible. See below:
Passive: “The law should be passed.”
Active: “The US government should pass the law.”
Please study http://www.towson.edu/ows/activepass.htm and
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/passive-voice/.
Although most dogs and cats brought into FPAC are strays
found by local residents, some are rescued from the pound. An
estimated 35 to 40 dogs and cats are brought in on a monthly

base. Due to a maximum capacity of 40 dogs and 100 cats,
FPAC is constantly full leaving the heartache of denying others.
This is where the importance of pushing adoption comes to
play. Comment by Author: Be sure to use wording that
indicates the information that comes from your interviewee.
In order to adopt, FPAC requires all dogs and cats be spayed or
neutered before they can leave the shelter. This is to minimize
reproduction and the potential of future homeless animals. It
costs anywhere from 35 to 95 dollars to adopt a pet from the
FPAC which is a fraction of the expenses the consumer would
incur if purchasing a dog or cat from another provider. Even
though the adoption fee tends to affect the rate at which they
are rehomed, FPAC still manages to find loving homes for about
20 to 25 dogs and cats per month. Comment by Author: Please
use a comma before (and after if it is in the middle of a
sentence) a nonessential clause, also called a nonrestrictive
clause, because these clauses tell you something about a
preceding subject, but they do not limit or restrict the meaning
of that subject. Typically, you can remove these clauses without
disrupting the sentence. Keep in mind that the word “that” is
often used to begin an essential clause while “which” often
precedes a nonessential clause. Please review this source and
check your essay for other instances:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/ and
http://www.kentlaw.edu/academics/lrw/grinker/LwtaClauses__R
estrictive_and_Nonrest.htm
Whether living in a big suburban city or a small rural town,
there are many dogs and cats in need of loving homes.
Reaching out to local shelters in search of a new family member
would not only give these animals a home, but also bring joy to
those adopting. Despite the limitations of the facility, Ms. King
and her team will continue to show their love and care to many
mistreated dogs and cats in rural Farmington. Comment by
Author: In the conclusion, in addition to summarizing the
subtopics in your essay, synthesize the information you
gathered from your source. To synthesize just means you should

consider all of the information you gathered from the source
and draw conclusions. What did you learn beyond the
information from the source? How did you draw these
conclusions? Other sources or experiences? What were you
surprised to learn that you did not know previously? How will
the source help you develop the research essay?
Works Cited
King, Sandy. Personal interview. 10 February 2015.
ENG 102 Cartoon Analysis Rubric
Points
2
F

Points
3
D-/D/D+
Points
3.5
C-/C/C+
Points
4
B-/B/B+
Points
5
A-/A/A+
Thesis & Focus
Thesis, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions
Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of
audience and purpose.
Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.
Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently
addressed. Reveals limited awareness of audience and purpose.
Central idea either lacking or inconsistently addressed.
Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or
otherwise problematic. Awareness of audience may be adequate
but inconsistent. Central idea is perhaps too general and
supported by irrelevant examples.
Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout
most of the paper. Awareness of audience is sufficient. Central
idea is clear and maintained in most of the essay.
Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the
entire paper. Paper demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of
audience and purpose. Central idea/focus maintained
throughout.
Support & Development
Thesis support, thesis development, Techniques illustrated in
cartoon, Physical elements of cartoon, use of examples, logic,
and reason,

1. From the breadth and depth of the economic downturn, it was cle.docx

1. From the breadth and depth of the economic downturn, it was cle.docx

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1. From the breadth and depth of the economic downturn, it was cle.docx