Pillowfights and pool

1. Hi, everybody!
(waits in vain for answering chorus of “Hi, esmeiolanthe!”)
Not today, huh? Well, that’s okay. You’re welcome to join me anyway. We have six
people in college at the moment, with another two scheduled to join us by mid-chapter.
Ruth will begin fulfilling her Dessstiny in her very own story, which is already posted
over in the “‘Officially Wacky’ Challenges” forum on Boolprop. You don’t need to read
the two stories together – heck, you don’t need to read Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky
Boolprop Challenge at all if you don’t want to – but if you do go read it after this, I warn
you that parts of that chapter will seem awful familiar. It’s all part of keeping the two
stories independent for my readers. It won’t happen again, I promise.
With that said, let’s rejoin our story: Already in Progress…

2. One thing college reliably brings is makeovers. Some people are recognizably
themselves.

3. Some people look more different. You could probably recognize Ruth by her wacky look,
and if Ryan weren’t turned away from you, the nose would be a dead giveaway, but I bet
you’d never recognize Simon in the back there if I didn’t point him out.

4. The other thing you can count on in college is rapidly changing relationships. Or at least
attempts in that direction.
EILEEN: Simon, how can I put this gently? No.
SIMON: But I really like you, Eileen.
EILEEN: Like me? You met me last week. You never so much as said hello to me in
high school.

5. SIMON: We went to the same high school?
EILEEN: Yes. We did. So you have to ask yourself – is it me you like? Or is it my
skimpy shirt? (turns and walks away)

6. Actually, Eileen’s having boy trouble with more than just Simon.
EILEEN: No, Reed, I don’t want to hug you.
REED LONG: Aw, come on, Eileen…
EILEEN: If you quote one more bad 80’s song at me, I will feed you your own ears.
REED: It’s not a bad song. It’s got a banjo in it. How can it be a bad song if it’s got a
banjo in it?
EILEEN: Have you seen Deliverance?
(Note to all my readers under the age of fifty: Avoid Deliverance. I’m dead serious.)

7. Then there are the unexpected moments that wreck carefully planned plots.
RYAN: Hi, Ruth.
RUTH: Oh, hi, Ryan. Do you know if they have any Froot Loops?
RYAN: I, uh, haven’t seen you in a while.
RUTH: How’s Lucy? Weren’t you two dating?
RYAN: I, uh, not exactly…
RUTH: Gee, that’s too bad. Did you give me an answer on the Froot Loops?

8. And the making friends.
RYAN: Hey! What’s with throwing the ball like that? You could have put my eye out!
SIMON: Sorry. You were pitching some pretty serious hardballs, so I thought we were
playing Whap! instead of catch.
RYAN: It doesn’t work if we both play.
SIMON: Point. You want to see if Shenene’s up for a game?

9. EILEEN: So what about the low-cut top? Don’t you just hate it when it people keep
staring at your belly button?
RUTH: Well, yeah, but it’s more of a nuisance than anything else.
EILEEN: Really? Because when that happens to me, I feel like taking their head between
my hands and just crumpling it up like a little piece of paper and throwing it in the trash.
(mimes an overhand throw) Two points! And the crowd goes wild!
RUTH: If it bothered me that much, I’d just change clothes.
EILEEN: Where’s the fun in that?

10. Although some friendships are pre-existing.
MIFUNE: Hey Eileen! If you get hit hard enough, do you think your shirt will pop open?
EILEEN: Well, you’ll never find out, will you? My grandmother hits better than you, and
she’s dead.
MIFUNE: Oh, you’re just overwhelmed by my macho pillow fighting manliness.
EILEEN: Actually, I’m overwhelmed by your used-car-salesman suit. How much did the
store pay you to take that off their hands?
They have two nice points between them. What did you expect?

11. Pillow fighting is actually a popular way to bond in college. Did you know that?
RUTH: Ha! Gotcha!
CILLIAN: Oh, you just wait. You’ll be sorry!
(Both laugh)

12. But everyone eventually buckled down to the rigorous demands of college.
CILLIAN: You okay?
MIFUNE: Yeah.
CILLIAN: So okay that you’re falling asleep in your mac and cheese, huh?
MIFUNE: I was up late working on my case study for Economics 307. I’m supposed to
argue that it would be a bad thing to replace simoleons with blue beads and explain why,
and the assignment is just kicking my butt.
CILLIAN: Too many reasons why it’s bad?
MIFUNE: No, actually. I can’t think of a single reason it would be a problem.
CILLIAN: Wait a minute – don’t you still have that Betsy Blue Beadmaker kit you
begged Mom to buy when we were ten? The one that came with like a gazillion beads in
all different shades of blue?
MIFUNE: Maybe. What’s your point?

13. Ruth found a theater group that put on a Gilbert & Sullivan show every year. She took to
them like a duck to water. As a contralto, she didn’t get the young and beautiful romantic
leads, but she usually had at least one solo, and she always had a good time.

14. Junior year brought two new faces. Or maybe not so new. I mean, you’ve already met
Anne and Lucy. But they were new to the dorm, and they filled it to capacity.
This changed things a bit.

15. ANNE: Hi, you look kind of familiar. Have we met before? I mean, normally I remember
everybody I meet, but you only look sort of familiar. Did you go to Sandersville?
EILEEN: Yes.
ANNE: Well, maybe that’s it. Only that’s not just it, you know? You look awfully
familiar. You know who you look like? You look like my dad’s brother, Chalcedony.
Have you ever heard of Chalcedony Tang? No, of course there’s not reason you would
have. I mean, it’s a small town, but it’s not like it’s so small that everyone is related to
everyone else.
EILEEN: My father is Chalcedony Tang. You must be Uncle Jasper’s daughter.
ANNE: Yes, that’s it! I’m Anne. My sister is Lucy. You don’t have any brothers or
sisters, do you? (Eileen opens her mouth to say “No,” but Anne doesn’t stop talking) I
don’t really know all that much about you because Daddy didn’t want to hurt Great-
Uncle Colin’s political prospects by having him associated with a criminal element,
which I think is silly because Mama could have made Great-Uncle Colin into President
For Life if he wanted. Or even into the Pooh-Bah. But he didn’t want the help. (Mifune
walks past) Oh hey, it’s Miffers! (calling after him) Miffers! Hiii Miffers, it’s me, Anne!
– Oh. I guess he didn’t hear me.

16. ANNE (confidingly): I used to have such a huge crush on Miffers before he came to
college. I used to call him every day, and he was so nice! He’d listen to me talk for hours.
I always said I was going to marry him when I grew up. Isn’t that funny? Of course, you
know what would be even funnier is if we really did get married now. He’s awful cute.
But what’s with that little beard-thing on his chin? Why doesn’t he either grow a beard or
not grow a beard? He’d be super handsome either way.
EILEEN (to herself): Must… not… kill…

17. MIFUNE: Keep frowning like that – I think it’ll improve your look.
EILEEN: Not now. I’m not in the mood.
MIFUNE: (sits down) Aw, hey, what’s wrong? Come here and tell Mifune all about it.
EILEEN: No, I don’t think so. Miffers.
MIFUNE: Ohhhh, you’ve been talking to Anne.
EILEEN: No, she has been talking at me.
MIFUNE: She does that. Eileen? Eileen, look at me.

18. MIFUNE: (wraps his arm around Eileen comfortingly and speaks seriously) Eileen,
Anne is a friend. I’m not sure how much of that wide-eyed stupid schtick is really her,
but she doesn’t mean any harm. And yes, she had a huge crush on me when she was
eleven, but that was seven years ago now. I didn’t take it seriously then, and I don’t now.
Do you know why not?
EILEEN: No…
MIFUNE: Because there’s somebody who I do take seriously. She has much better
fashion sense. And she wears very skimpy shirts. Seriously, how can you wear a bra with
that thing?
EILEEN: (shoves him) Mifune, you are such an ass!

19. LUCY: Simon? What are you doing?
SIMON: Cleaning the tub.
LUCY: I can see that. Why?
SIMON: I like cleaning.
LUCY: No, why are you cleaning this tub? This is Eileen’s tub. She lives on a different
floor in a different wing from you and she’s at class anyway.
SIMON: Because Eileen deserves to live in a perfect environment. Eileen is a goddess
whose toilet I am not fit to scrub.

20. LUCY: Um, Simon? You are scrubbing her toilet.
SIMON: But I’m not worthy of doing so.

21. LUCY: What happened to the Simon I knew in high school? Why do you let her do that
to you?
SIMON: Do what?
LUCY: Lead you on like that. Take advantage of you.
SIMON: Eileen doesn’t lead me on. She doesn’t take advantage of me. (gloomily) I kind
of wish she would.
LUCY: Okay, ew. I don’t want to hear about that. Why don’t you tell her to go jump in a
lake?

22. SIMON (V.O.): But that’s what she says to me all the time.
EILEEN: NO, Simon. En Oh. No. Go away.
SIMON: But Eileen…
EILEEN: Go jump in a lake! I thought you were supposed to be smart.
LUCY (V.O.) (in a more moderate tone): Oh. I may have gotten things turned around a
little here.

23. Pool became quite popular.
EILEEN: A-choo.
MIFUNE: (pausing) Knock it off.
EILEEN: Knock what off?
MIFUNE: You’re trying to throw me.
EILEEN: No I’m not. I sneezed.
MIFUNE: Okay, then. (lines up the shot again)
EILEEN: Cough, cough.
MIFUNE: Okay, now I know you’re cheating.
EILEEN: What do you mean?
MIFUNE: You just said “Cough, cough.”
EILEEN: Who? Moi?
MIFUNE: Oui, vouz. I knew we shouldn’t have put money on this game.
Did I mention that Eileen re-rolled Fortune? No?
Eileen re-rolled Fortune.

24. But pillow fighting didn’t go out of style.
LUCY: You’re not having any stupid romantic complications, are you?
RYAN: Who, me?
LUCY: Yes, you. No more messing around with multiple girls?

25. RYAN (V.O.): Nah, I’m past that now.

26. CILLIAN: How are you liking college?
ANNE: Oh, it’s okay. I tried to make friends with Eileen, but I don’t think she likes me
very much. I think she was upset when I was talking about Miffers. I don’t know why.
We’re just friends. I mean, I know I used to say that I was going to marry him and it
would be really funny if I actually did, but I don’t think I will. I think I like him better as
a friend. That’s why I came to college – to make lots of friends. And to get my MRS.
CILLIAN: What a coincidence. I came to college to get my MR.*
*Note for my non-American readers (or any younger Americans): When you say that a girl has gone to
college to “get her M-R-S” you aren’t referring to an advanced degree. You mean that she’s gone to college
to find a husband. I invented “getting an M-R,” but it’s intended as the male equivalent.

27. And the rest, as they say, is history.

28. And other romantic complications are getting simpler too. Senior year, a certain someone
bought a ring.

29. It was put to good use during the last act of The Mikado.
It also made singing Katisha’s solo about how her romantic hopes were utterly crushed
and how death would be better than a love-blighted life much more difficult than it really
should have been.

30. Mifune’s proposal was not nearly as theatrical, but it was accepted anyway.

31. And with Eileen officially off the market, there were some adjustments to be made.
LUCY: …So what you need to do is think about it, Simon.
SIMON: About what?
LUCY: About what you’re going to do with your life. You can’t spend it pining over
Eileen. She’s not interested – she never was – and now she’s off-limits. So what are you
going to do?
SIMON: I don’t know.
LUCY: I know you don’t. Think about it, that’s all I’m saying. And don’t go getting
yourself caught up with any other women who aren’t going to appreciate you.
SIMON: But I –
LUCY: Actually, it might be good for you to avoid alpha females altogether. I don’t think
you can be rational about them.

32. SIMON (to himself): Too late.
And then it was time to graduate.

33. Three of our students grew up into not-actually terrible-clothing.
LUCY: How come she gets to grow up into something decent?
ANNE: Because Daddy didn’t pick out her transition outfit. You know what his sense of
humor is like. (thoughtfully) I wonder if there’s a way to stop him picking out my outfit.
LUCY: We’ve got two years. Let’s see if we can’t come up with something.

34. Two were not so lucky.
CILLIAN: (snicker) Nice outfit, Miffers.
MIFUNE: I’ll have you know that this is from the new fall GilsCarbo collection. Haute
couture, mon ami.
CILLIAN: Suuuure. I bet it’s real big with colorblind asylum inmates.
MIFUNE: Hardy har har. Let’s see you do better.

35. And I’m not sure if Cillian did better or not.
And on that ambiguous note, I will leave you for now. I expect Chapter 27 to come out in
about three weeks, but I’ve still got an awful lot to play. I also anticipate becoming an
auntie sometime in the next three weeks, so that may delay things. I’ll try to have a
special feature ready, just in case.
Until we meet again, Happy Simming!