Peer Review for Jiwu Cui- This topic talks about the safety of people in different parts of the world. The author did a good job at describing the points about different places and how secure we feel at those places. He asked a lot of questions for the audience and I think this bring the story into a good perspective. I like how the author used specific examples of crimes where people were in danger to show that our world is messed up and there needs to be something done in order to change this. I would try to go into a little more detail on this topic. What exactly are the showing the audience. You have a lot of good points but maybe focus on one specific area insead a a few different ones. Overall, I think the author has a strong understanding of their topic and the facts used in the story were also very helpful to show the audience a picture. Paragraph 1: What is says/ what is does- The first paragraph tells us a lot about what the author is going to be showing us throughout the story. The author shows us that terrorism is a huge problem. This does show the audience we do need better security in our lives in order to stop this. Paragraph 2: This paragraph might be able to add to the first paragraph instead of being on it’s own. It’s telling us more information on the huge problem that security is and how we need to change it. This does show us that it can be added into the first paragraph and it will allow the audience to see more on the issue. Paragraph 3: This paragraph goes into detail about security cameras and what they do for the security standpoint with violence. It does show that there are questions with the security footage and does it actually work? Paragraph 4: This paragraph and #3 can be added together also since they hit on the same points. This paragraph also shows that the author is asking the audience a question. Trying to get to the bottom line of where we feel safe in this world. This does show that the author does want to involve the audience by asking them this important questions. Paragraph 5: This paragraph shows that there is a real issue with gun violence. The author gives some great views on the subject and stories that show how this issue is around us in many different places. This says that our world is not okay and we need to do something to stop it. It gets the audience thinking. Paragraph 6: This paragraph goes into the issue of gun policy that has been a topic with our government. Guns have been a very big issue with our government and not allowing people with mental issues to own a gun then that could stop the gun violence. It’s saying to the world that we need to think twice about who we allow to have guns. Paragraph 7: This paragraph goes into showing the audience the many systems have been developed for data harvesting which is being done without the owner’s consent. This has caused many problems in our security systems. This says that our source of security can range from one thing to .

1. Peer Review for Jiwu Cui-
This topic talks about the safety of people in different parts of
the world. The author did a good job at describing the points
about different places and how secure we feel at those places.
He asked a lot of questions for the audience and I think this
bring the story into a good perspective. I like how the author
used specific examples of crimes where people were in danger
to show that our world is messed up and there needs to be
something done in order to change this. I would try to go into a
little more detail on this topic. What exactly are the showing the
audience. You have a lot of good points but maybe focus on one
specific area insead a a few different ones. Overall, I think the
author has a strong understanding of their topic and the facts
used in the story were also very helpful to show the audience a
picture.
Paragraph 1: What is says/ what is does-
The first paragraph tells us a lot about what the author is going
to be showing us throughout the story. The author shows us that
terrorism is a huge problem. This does show the audience we do
need better security in our lives in order to stop this.
Paragraph 2:
This paragraph might be able to add to the first paragraph
instead of being on it’s own. It’s telling us more information on
the huge problem that security is and how we need to change it.
This does show us that it can be added into the first paragraph
and it will allow the audience to see more on the issue.
Paragraph 3:
This paragraph goes into detail about security cameras and what
they do for the security standpoint with violence. It does show
that there are questions with the security footage and does it

2. actually work?
Paragraph 4:
This paragraph and #3 can be added together also since they hit
on the same points. This paragraph also shows that the author is
asking the audience a question. Trying to get to the bottom line
of where we feel safe in this world. This does show that the
author does want to involve the audience by asking them this
important questions.
Paragraph 5:
This paragraph shows that there is a real issue with gun
violence. The author gives some great views on the subject and
stories that show how this issue is around us in many different
places. This says that our world is not okay and we need to do
something to stop it. It gets the audience thinking.
Paragraph 6:
This paragraph goes into the issue of gun policy that has been a
topic with our government. Guns have been a very big issue
with our government and not allowing people with mental issues
to own a gun then that could stop the gun violence. It’s saying
to the world that we need to think twice about who we allow to
have guns.
Paragraph 7:
This paragraph goes into showing the audience the many
systems have been developed for data harvesting which is being
done without the owner’s consent. This has caused many
problems in our security systems. This says that our source of
security can range from one thing to another.
Paragraph 8:
This paragraph recaps on the security and gun issues. This
shows that we need to have better control on background checks
and areas in the security in our world. This does show us that

3. we need to realize all that is going on in our world.
Paragraph 9:
This paragraph should come more into a conclusion than just
stating more facts. This paragraph goes into details and issues
about terrorism. Showing us that the internet and other sources
show these issues.
Reverse Outline Exercise
· Exchange papers with your partner or group members
· Read the paper through completely, making notes of high and
low points. Be mindful of structure, assignment criteria,
grammar, logic, and coherency
· Compose a paragraph or two discussing the strong points and
those in need of improvement in the paper
· Consult the reverse outline Levels assignment sent with this
template for more ideas for yourself and your partner
Set the paper aside for at least an hour
· Number each paragraph of the paper
· On a sheet of paper make two columns and head them with:
what it says and what it does; then, number horizontally,
allowing room for comments.
· Now, go through the paragraphs and write down what each one
says and what it does. For example:
Paragraph #What it saysWhat it does
1

4. Carbon emissions are dangerous
States thesis
2
Gives background and facts on the issue
Sets stage for paper
I will expect you to be more detailed than this, at least three
sentences per paragraph. Doing this activity allows you to
review the content of the essay and whether it all connects back
to the thesis. Often, a writer can get lost in their prose and fill
in the blanks, forgetting to notify the reader. Other times,
something may sneak in that is interesting but not really
applicable to the essay. Your reverse outline will make clear
whether the essay is coherent and if some things are needed and
others might as well be put aside.
Once you have completed your reverse outline, review the
paragraph written previously. Add anything that you have
learned from the reverse outline process and prepare a letter for
the author of the paper.
Send the information to the author and submit to the dropbox.
1
Frazier
Erin Frazier
Professor Elizabeth Phillips
Writing 121
23 July 2016
The Endangerment of the Sea Turtle

5. Sea turtles are some of the oldest species of animal on the
planet. It is believed that they first arrived more than 100
million years ago (seeturtles.org). Starting as eggs that have
been buried by their mothers on sandy beaches, baby turtles
hatch and instinctively follow the horizon into the ocean where
they will spend their entire lives. They are found in oceans all
over the world and can travel thousands of miles during their
lifetime. It is estimated that sea turtles can have lifespans as
long as one hundred years or more (seeturtles.org). Sadly, most
will not reach that old age. Negative human impact on the
planet is having a major effect on sea turtles, with six of the
seven species labeled as either threatened or critically
endangered (seeturtles.org). Whether due to poaching,
overfishing, garbage and pollution, beach development,
destruction of reefs, or global warming, the sea turtle faces
numerous human created dangers that threaten their existence.
In most countries, there are now laws protecting sea turtles from
poaching. Unfortunately, these laws have not stopped the
poaching and trading of turtle eggs, meat, and shells. In some
cultures, turtle eggs are considered a delicacy, and some claim
them to be an aphrodisiac. Desire for eggs place them in such
high demand in some areas of the world that they are being
removed from nests at unsustainable rates (Le Guem Lytle).
Some cultures hunt mature sea turtles for their meat. Aguirre et
al. found that along Baja California Sur, Mexico, the “sea turtle
is consumed approximately 20, 000 times annually in just this
single coastline” (142). The consumed sea turtles are often
juveniles, meaning they did not live long enough to reproduce,
which is causing a decline in their populations. Sea turtles are
also poached for their shells, which are incorporated in art,
jewelry, and souvenirs (Formia et al.). Until the demand for sea
turtle products ends, these practices will continue and push the
turtles closer to extinction. However, even if the intentionally
harvesting and poaching of turtles stops, the turtles face other
threats to their existence.

6. A growing concern for many marine biologists is the eight
million tons of trash that enters the oceans every year (Parker).
This poses many problems for the quality of our oceans and the
marine life within them, and the sea turtle is no exception.
Some species of sea turtle have a main diet of jellyfish, but they
often mistake plastic bags for their prey. The result is that the
turtles ingest the bags, which can cause an obstruction of the
digestive tract and eventually lead to death (seeturtles.org).
Besides possibly ingesting the floating human trash, turtles are
also at risk of becoming accidentally caught during commercial
fishing practices that can lead to death. Commercial fishing of
the oceans is happening at such an alarming rate that an
international team of researchers fear that marine life will cease
to exist in 2050 if overfishing practices continue (Black). With
commercial fishing comes the increased potential for bycatch,
which refers to everything that is caught by the fishing industry
that is not the intended target (Lewison, Freeman, and Crowder,
221). It is estimated that 40% of marine life caught by the
fishing industry is considered bycatch, which immediately gets
discarded (seeturtle.org). This means that even when the intent
is not to catch the turtles, they are still victims of the seafood
industry and it’s demands. If the turtles are not killed during the
process of being caught unintentionally as bycatch, they may be
injured and then thrown overboard to fend for themselves. In
addition, discarded fishing gear and garbage can also kill sea
turtles when the turtles become entangled and drown. Of all
fishing gear, “monofilament line appears to be the principal
source of entanglement for sea turtles in U.S. waters”
(conservturtles.org). This particular type of fishing line appears
invisible to fish as well as turtles, which is why turtles don’t
see it as they are swimming through it, resulting in
entanglement.
Other pollutants besides trash and discarded fishing gear can be
found in the oceans. Chemical pollutants from oil spills,
fertilizer run off, and even sun block, can harm turtles and their
habitat. Oil spills pose a particular problem to sea turtles

7. because they can affect the turtles at any stage in their lives
(conserveturtles.org). An oil spill might wash up onto a beach
and affect eggs as well as nesting parents, or the spill can kill
juvenile and mature turtles in the open ocean. The chemicals
found in oil as well as fertilizer runoff can be directly ingested
by the turtles, or indirectly ingested when the turtle eats another
animal that has high levels of toxins. Exposure to such
pollutants can lower sea turtles’ immune systems, causing other
diseases that put them at risk (seeturtles.org). One such disease
is Fibropapillomas, which causes tumors to grow on the soft
parts of the turtles’ bodies that lead to death.
Sea turtles spend their entire lives at sea, with the only
exceptions being their time on land as eggs and new hatchlings,
and when females come on land to lay their eggs. Beach
development by humans, such as the building of roads, hotels,
houses, and restaurants, has played a large role in decreasing
the areas for turtles to safely lay their eggs. Armoring structures
such as sea walls are built to keep erosion from destroying
development, but they also prevent the turtles from reaching
upper beaches where they would typically build their nests.
“False crawling” is the term used to describe when turtles return
to the ocean without laying eggs, which happens when they find
that their nesting grounds are no longer accessible
(conserveturtles.org). If humans don’t stop overdeveloping
beaches, most of the turtles nesting habitats could be
permanently destroyed. Without the proper environment for the
sea turtles to nest, they cannot give birth to the next generation,
adding yet another factor to their declining populations.
Perhaps the greatest threat of all to the sea turtle is global
warming. “Scientists predict that it could result in 20-30% of
the Earth’s plant and animal species going extinct by 2050”
(seeturtle.org). The impacts of global warming are similar to
those of oil spills by not only affecting the turtles’ habitats, but
also having negative impacts on all stages of the turtle’s life.
The rising of ocean levels caused by ice melt off is diminishing
nesting habitat, and increasing atmospheric temperatures are

8. warming sand and causing eggs not to hatch. Warmer sand also
has another effect of altering the sex of the babies, resulting in
fewer males being born (seeturtles.org). Rising water
temperatures caused by global warming are also having negative
effects on coral reefs that provide home and food to some
species of sea turtle. One such effect is coral bleaching, which
occurs when corals become too warm, causing them to “expel
the algae (zooxanthellae) living in their tissues causing the
coral to turn completely white” and eventually die (“What is
Coral Bleaching?”). Without coral formations, many species of
fish and other marine life lose protective hatching areas, leaving
some species of sea turtles with little to eat.
The sea turtle faces numerous man made obstacles that threaten
the survival of their species. When the list is put together, it
seems doubtful that they have a chance. Luckily, there are
actions being taken to save them. While there have been laws
put in place to protect them, public awareness might be the most
powerful tool in saving a species. People need to be made aware
of the destruction that poaching, overfishing, beach
development, pollution, and global warming are having on sea
turtles, and marine life in general. With awareness, humans
might make serious and immediate changes so that the sea
turtle, amongst many other species, won’t be pushed to
extinction in the near future.

9. Works Cited
Conserveturtles.org. n.p. n.d. Web. 21 July 2016.
Aguirre, A. Alonso, et al. "Hazards associated with the
consumption of sea turtle meat and eggs: a review for health
care workers and the general public." EcoHealth 3.3 (2006):
141-153.
Black, Richard. “Only 50 Years Left for Sea Fish.”
News.bbc.co.uk. BBC. 6 November 2006. Web. 21 July 2-16.
Formia, Angela, et al. "Sea turtle conservation along the
Atlantic coast of Africa." Marine Turtle Newsletter 100.1
(2003): 33-37.
Le Guem Lytle, Claire. “Turtle Egg Poaching Legalized in
Costa Rica: The Debate.”
Coastalcare.org. Santa Aguila Foundation. 15 July 2015. Web.
21 July 2016.
Lewison, Rebecca L., Sloan A. Freeman, and Larry B. Crowder.
"Quantifying the effects of fisheries on threatened species: the
impact of pelagic longlines on loggerhead and leatherback sea
turtles." Ecology letters 7.3 (2004): 221-231.
Marks, Kathy, and Daniel Howden. "The world's rubbish dump:
a garbage tip that stretches from Hawaii to Japan." The
Independent 25 (2008): 2008.
“What is Coral Bleaching?” Oceanservice.noaa.gov. National
Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. 17 March 2016. Web.
22 July 2016.
Parker, Laura. “Eight Million Tons of Plastic Dumped in Ocean
Every Year.”
News.nationalgeographic.com. National Geographic. 13

10. February 2015. Web. 21 July 2016.
Seeturtles.org. Web. 21 July 2016.
Baker
Miranda Baker
Professor Elizabeth Phillips
Writing 121
9 July 2016
Vegetarians
A vegetarian’s diet can show outstanding health benefits.
There are many different types of vegetarians and the fact that
all of them are actually better for you than eating meat is telling
us a lot about those meat eaters out there. Meat may be
delicious but it’s not good for your heart, your cholesterol or
your body, period. There are many facts out in the world that
it’s good to eat meat but in reality you may not notice how
eating meat can put a strain on your body and on your health.
There are many different types of vegetarians in the world.
I am a type of vegetarian myself and since I’ve started to do this
diet for four and a half years now I’ve been shown that not
eating meat can give you more strength, more energy and all
around be better for you. The four main types of vegetarians are
regular old vegetarians who don’t eat any animal meat or animal
products whatsoever. Then there are the vegetarians that are
known to be called pescatarians. They don’t eat any type of
meat besides seafood. This is the type of vegetarian that I am.
When I first started being a vegetarian I did not think that
I could do it. I mean going your whole life eating meal to then
just one day stop eating any meat was hard and it was difficult
for the first month. After that month I didn’t crave any meat. I
actually didn’t really want any of it. I was not interested in it. It
seemed gross now and just thinking about it made me not want
it even more. I’ve always been a huge seafood fan so I could not

11. give this up no matter how much I knew about all of the terrible
things that the farmers did to these poor helpless animals. When
researching this topic I have learned that vegetarian diets are far
more healthy than the leading average american that consumes
meat on a regular basis. Vegetarians have a lower body weight,
they have better cholesterol levels, they live longer and they
have a lower risk of developing cancer. These are just a small
few of the benefits of being a vegetarian. It’s interesting to see
that just by cutting out a small little change to our diets, there is
so much good and possibility that can come from it. “An article
published in Food Technology in October 2012 informs that
plant-based diets either reduce or completely eliminate people’s
genetic propensity to developing long-term diseases, including
diabetes type two, cardiovascular disease and cancer.”
There are so many different scary diseases in this world
and it’s so essential that we know that we have a choice to
chose between the two. You are much more better off becoming
a vegetarian because of all of the health benefits that come
along with it. Who doesn't want to become healthier and cancer
free. I’m not saying it’s a guarantee that you will never become
sick or have a disease but you will have a lower risk of it all
and that’s great news. Plants are all around better for us a
vegetable are amazing. They now have these restaurants that are
completely vegan and it’s so convenient to go and eat at these
restaurants. They have food that tastes like you’re eating meat
but the upside of it is that it’s so good for you and it’s actually
all plant based. You won’t miss eating meat if you take this leap
of a stance and become a vegetarian because you will still be
able to eat it whenever you want and it will be much more
healthy for you. If that does not sell you on becoming
vegetarian than I don’t know what will.
Some people have a negative look on vegetarians because
they don’t eat meat. We all have our reasons to becoming a
vegetarian and if you have seen the horrific animal cruelty
videos than I think you would feel the same way as must
vegetarians. “Having emotional attachments with animals may

12. form part of that reason, while many believe that all sentient
creatures have a right to life and freedom.”
The list of benefits that are provided to vegetarians are
outstanding. Just by cutting a small part of food out our diets
the benefits just continue to grow for the positive side of things.
The trick to becoming a healthy vegetarian is to chose a variety
of foods that will bring healthy benefits into your life. Whole
grains, vegetables, nuts or raw trail mix, dairy products and
eggs; just to name a few. I cannot stress the health benefits of
becoming a vegetarian anymore than I have. They are so good
for you! Salad and veggies are so delicious you’ll be pleasantly
surprised when you take the first leap of non meat eating. Some
people that I have come into contact with have asked me how I
do it. How did I give up meat? It was so easy. It’s all just a
matter of having the mindset of being healthier. I don’t miss
chicken or beef at all. Now the very thought of it is just
revolting. You’re just putting something dead into your body
and the very thought of that is just plain old odd.
Some people may not think they cut out for being a vegetarian
but that’s not true. Anyone who puts their mind to it can be very
successful at it. And once you start you’ll be able to not even
want to eat meat anymore. It’s all about self discipline and
knowing that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.
Don’t give up and keep persevering. It’s so worth it in the end.
Other people may not want to be that “picky person” who does
not eat meat. Let me tell you this is not further from the true.
People should not feel like they’re stepping on others toes
because they don’t eat meat. There are plenty of people in the
world that have food restrictions and it’s okay to be “difficult”
when you are out with friends.
Being a vegetarian not only helps your body for the better but it
also saves all of the helpless animals in this world who are
killed everyday. In an article I found, there was some important
information that shows just how many animals are killed each
year from eating them. “”Many vegetarians give up meat
because of their concern for the animals.Ten billion animals are

13. slaughtered for human consumption each year. And most farms
keep the animals crammed into cages where they can barely
move and fed a diet tainted with pesticides and antibiotics.
These animals spend their entire lives in crates and small cages
they can’t even turn around in.” This paints such a clear and
vivid picture of the terrible things that these helpless animals
are going though. It’s just awful to think about. Not to mention
all of the toxic chemicals that are seeping inside of the animals
while they are being slaughtered.
There are countless articles that show how good being a
vegetarian is for you but still there are people that will eat
meat. “Plant-based eating is recognized as not only nutritionally
sufficient but also as a way to reduce the risk for many chronic
illnesses. According to the American Dietetic Association,
"appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total
vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate,
and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment
of certain diseases." (http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-
healthy/becoming-a-vegetarian) Some may say it’s too difficult
to get in the habit of but in reality it’s all a matter of self
control and knowing that what you’re doing is going to make a
difference in this world. Vegetarians save a number of 100
animals per year. That makes all the difference in the end.
Researching this topic has reminded me why I am a vegetarian
and why it all matters. We need to take a stand in order to save
these poor little animals. I could not imagine my life not being
a vegetarian. Seeing all of the good it does to the body is so
inspiring. It’s just an added bonus that we give more nutrients
to our bodies and also save the helpless animals that roam our
earth. It’s essential that we’re all aware of the other types of
food groups out in our world and it’s important that we all take
some time to reflect on what would be best for our own bodies.
It’s not as hard as it sounds to become a vegetarian. It’s
actually very important that we know that it’s possible. It will
change the way you feel and it be an eye opener for the world to
see its importance with understand that this lifestyle is good for

14. you.
Work Cited
http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/9-health-
benefits-of-a-vegetarian-diet/
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/8749.php
http://vegetarian-nutrition.info/health-benefits-of-vegetarian-
diets/
http://www.vegetariantimes.com/article/why-go-veg-learn-
about-becoming-a-vegetarian/
http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/becoming-a-
vegetarian