How to coordinate education supports, healthcare, and therapies, so a special needs child reaps the most benefits.

1. Coordinating A Child’s Special
Needs Village
Practical solutions to everyday
issues
Elise K. Butowsky
Raising Exceptional People, LLC
autismdailysupport.com
Raising Asperger’s Kids
practicalautism.com
asd2mom@gmail.com
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2. Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by
its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole
life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein
We don’t accomplish anything in this world
alone…and whatever happens is the result of
the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the
weavings of individual threads from one to
another that creates something. -Sandra Day
O’Connor
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3. TOPICS TO BE COVERED
-Purpose of the Village
-Parenting
-Communication
-Management
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4. PURPOSE of the Village
Coordinate:
-Advocacy
-Education
-Medical
-Therapy
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5. PURPOSE of the Village
Operation:
-Analyze issues to be addressed
-Decide if other providers are necessary
-Discuss present supports
-Formulate a plan of action
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6. PURPOSE of the Village
Coordinate Personnel:
-After school support
-Disability director (how to work with the school personnel)
-Doctors (pediatrician, neurologists, psychiatrist, psychologists)
-Guidance counselor
-Job coach
-Lawyer/advocate (civil rights, IDEA, 504, financial, estate)
-Para professional
-Social worker
-Sports coach
-Teachers (special educators, regular educators)
-Therapists (OT, PT, speech)
-Youth minister/rabbi/youth group leader
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7. PURPOSE of the Village
Deal with Issues Related to:
-Behavior
-College or Vocational Training
-Diploma or SACC
-Educational supports/preschool-12th grade
-Finances
-Life skills
-Safety
-Sibling support
-Transitional skills
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8. PARENTING
For a child to be successful, the dynamics of the family need to be considered:
-Are they still grieving the diagnosis?
-Do they agree on the educational and therapeutic course to take?
-Does the family have a support system?
-Has the family (Immediate/extended) accepted the child’s true diagnosis?
-Has there been a huge change in the family dynamics-divorce, death, illness, etc?
-Is a family member wallowing in self-pity because of this unexpected dynamic?
-Takes constructive criticism as a slight
-What is the child’s relationship with siblings and non-immediate family members?
[Adapted from The School-Home Connection, by Rosemary A. Oleander, Jacqueline Elias, Rosemary D. Mastroleo, 2010,
Corwin Press, Inc.]
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9. PARENTING
Society versus the Village:
-Bullying
-Chores
-Continual excuses
-Guilt
-Helping your child deal with failure
-Not my child syndrome
-Overindulgent parent
-Rules and Consequences
-Self-esteem Movement
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10. PARENTING
Be Brave (don’t worry about being liked)
Be Proactive
-Create scenarios and figure out how to deal with them
-Learn
-Plan ahead
-Study
Take care of yourself
-Charity
-Date night
-Fun
-Health
-Hobby
-Work
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11. COMMUNICATION
G-R-O-W
-Goal: long-term and short-term; incremental;
don’t have to be “realistic” for life goal
-Reality: take disability into consideration; don’t
make excuses teach to overcome
-Options: understand what works best for a
child; think outside the box
-Will: getting the child to “buy” into the program
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12. COMMUNICATION
SUCCESSFUL:
-Don’t blame or criticize
-Know what you want
-Look for that win-win
-Support the parent-teacher relationship
-Understand the other side
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13. COMMUNICATION
RULES:
-Allow 24-hours for a response
-Be honest
-Be proactive
-Be respectful
-Be thorough
-Be truthful
-Come prepared to meetings
-Document everything: paper trails are your friend. (categorize
everything: topic, year, provider, issue)
-Learn to say, “I don’t know”
-No surprises- heads up to potential issues
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14. COMMUNICATION
TIPS:
-Aim high for your child
-Be honest and sincere
-Be interested in what the other members have to say
-Be likeable (don’t become a bully)
-Be objective
-Be patient
-Be positive
-Be very prepared
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15. COMMUNICATION
(TIPS, con’t)
-Don’t be afraid to ask questions
-Don’t be condescending
-Don’t make assumptions
-Find common goals
-Go slow and listen
-Never, ever raise your voice (people don't listen when you yell at them)
-Never let them see you cry (you will be dismissed as too emotional)
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16. COMMUNICATION
TIPS (con’t)
-Read carefully (reports)
-Smile
-Speak your mind (but not about topics you don’t know well)
-Stay calm
-Take a time-out if you begin to feel anxious or upset
-Trust yourself (but also be open to being proven wrong)
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17. COMMUNICATION
TYPES:
-Back to school night
-Charts
-Conference/team meeting/face to face
-Interactive journal/Notes
-Newsletter
-Phone calls
-Report cards/IEP progress reports
-Website
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18. MANAGEMENT
CONFLICT
Negotiating Rules:
-Ask questions about problems, programs and solutions.
-Bring food
-Be respectful. Don’t be condescending and dismissive of what others have to
say.
-Laugh.
-Listen to what others have to say about your child.
-Stay calm. DO NOT CRY. DO NOT YELL.
-Talk about your child through examples/storytelling
[Adapted From Emotions to Advocacy, Pete Wright and Pam Wright, Harbor House Law Press,
2011]
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19. MANAGEMENT
STYLES
-Accommodating: meet the needs of others at the expense of the person's
own needs.
-Avoiding: avoid conflict.
-Collaborating: try to meet the needs of all people involved.
-Compromising: partially satisfy everyone.
-Competing: take a firm stand, and know what they want.
[Adapted from mindtools.com or managementhelp.org (Manage conflict with another
person)]
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20. MANAGEMENT
WIN-WIN Solution
-Alternative approaches
-Cost-benefit analysis: expected outcome, possible solutions
-Evaluate consequences for each decision
-Goals
-Relationship with personnel
-Trade
-Understanding where the power lies
[Adapted from mindtools.com or managementhelp.org (negotiating skills and decision-making techniques)]
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21. MANAGEMENT
COMMON PROBLEMS
-Different views of the child
-Lack of information about the child: make sure that everyone has the same
information, is on the same page for short and long term goals.
-Lack of Options: come up with some ideas that not only benefit the child, but can
benefit the district as well.
-Hidden Issues: as therapy, education, and support services continue, additional
problems will need to be addressed.
-Feeling devalued
-Communication issues: being lied to, no follow-up, intentional
vagueness, intimidation
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22. Parenting and Practice References
Family-Centered Early Intervention, Sharon A. Raver, Dana C. Childress, 2015,
Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co., Inc.
From Parents to Partners, Janis Keyser, 2006, Red Leaf Press.
Parents and Professionals: Partnering for Children with Disabilities, Janice M.
Fialka, Arlene K. Feldman, Karen C. Mikus, 2012, Corwin Press, Inc.
Relationship-Centered Practices in Early Childhood, Gail L. Ensher, David Clark,
2011, Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co, Inc.
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23. Communication References
Building Bridges with Parents, Marilyn J. Montgomery, 1999, Corwin Press, Inc.
Coaching Questions, A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills, Tony Stoltzfus, 2008, Tony Stoltzfus
Coaching and Mentoring, Eric Parsloe and Melville Leedham, 2009, Kogan Page
Coaching for Performance, GROWing Human Potential and Purpose, John Whitmore, 2009, Nicholas
Brealey Publishing
From Emotions to Advocacy, Pam Wright and Pete Wright, 2011, Harbor House Law Press, Inc.
From Parents to Partners, Janis Keyser, 2006, Redleaf Press.
Partnering for Children with Disabilities, Janice M. Fialka, Arlene K. Feldman, Karen C. Mikus, 2012,
Corwin Press, Inc.
School, Family and Community Partnerships, Joyce L. Epstein and Associates, 2009 Corwin Press, Inc.
The Heart of Coaching, Thomas G. Crane, 2012, FTA Press
The School-Home Connection, Rosemary A. Olander, Jacquelyn Elias, Rosemary D. Mastroleo,
2010 Corwin Press, Inc.
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24. Management References
From Emotions to Advocacy, Pete Wright and Pam Wright, Harbor House Law Press, 2011
From Parent to Partners, Janis Keyser, Red Leaf Press, 2006
Partnering for Children with Disabilities, Janice M. Fialka, Arlene K. Feldman, Karen C. Mikus, Corwin Press, Inc,
2012
Relationship-Centered Practices in Early Childhood, Paul H. Brooks Publishing Co., Gail L. Ensher, David A Clark,
2011
The School-Home Connection, Rosemary A. Oleander, Jacquelyn Elias, Rosemary D. Mastroleo, Corwin Press,
Inc, 2010
Websites:
Managementhelp.org
Mindtools.com
Articles:
August Turak, “The 3 Secrets to Conflict Resolution,” Forbes, 9/10/2012 Jason Fried, “Managing Conflict,” Inc.,
July 2010
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