EAP Academic Writing: Introduction to Coherence and Cohesion, part 2

1. Paragraphs and
Internal Transitions (2)
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2. Where to look for problems.
O 1. Look for sentences (usually short ones) that are not
connected with the previous ones in no way (i.e. absence of
and, however, such, etc.)
O Task: Read the following paragraph and evaluate it. How could
you make it better?
Some Americans live in affluent suburbs or university
communities. It’s easy to get the impression that the American
population is healthy. Joggers and bicycle riders are
everywhere. Many restaurants feature low-fat entrees. Many
Americans are unhealthy. Thirty percent are seriously
overweight. Alcoholism is a problem and many teenagers
smoke. Obesity among children is increasing.
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3. Where to look for problems.
O 2. Check vague references or expletives (e.g. it is, there are,
etc.)
O Task: Read the following paragraph and evaluate it. How could
you make it better?
It is a truism that good manners are like skeleton keys. There are
few doors they will not open. Some people think that good
manners are pretentious. They are a way of condescending to
people. That is a misunderstanding. The real purpose of
manners is to make social situations comfortable and to put
the people you are with at ease. Manners are also practical to
have. There are many companies that insist that their
executives have good manners. Some business schools
include a course on manners in their curricula.
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4. Where to look for problems.
O 3. Check for gaps between paragraphs. (chronological gaps or gaps in
meaning).
O Task: Read the following text and evaluate it. How could you make it
better?
When I arrived here four years ago, I found that the skills I had learned
in order to survive in Sudan were useless. I knew how to catch a rabbit,
challenge a hyena or climb a coconut palm, but I had never turned on a
light, used a telephone or driven a car.
Within a month I understood how to work most modern conveniences
and started my first job as a courtesy clerk and stocker at Ralph’s
grocery store in San Diego. Things like mangoes, chard and yams were
familiar, but when customers asked about Cheerios or Ajax, it was as
though my years of learning English in the refugee camp were
worthless.
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5. How to improve transitions.
O 1. Use common words to connect ideas (both pointer
words – first, second, last, etc. – and relationship
words – however, for example, etc.)
O 2. Repeat key terms throughout the paragraph (It
helps you establish the central idea).
O 3. Use demonstrative pronouns (e.g. this, those, etc.)
O 4. Use relative pronouns (e.g. who, where, etc.)
O 5. Use parallelism.
O 6. Use a semicolon to link closely related statements.
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6. References
Ruszkiewicz, John J., Maxine Hairston,
and Christy Friend. The Scott Foresman
Handbook for Writers. Upper Saddle
River, NJ: Pearson/Prentice Hall, 2007.
Print
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7. References
Ruszkiewicz, John J., Maxine Hairston,
and Christy Friend. The Scott Foresman
Handbook for Writers. Upper Saddle
River, NJ: Pearson/Prentice Hall, 2007.
Print
Angelos Bollas - angelosbollastefl.com