1. The
Fork
Connecting the deeper inside
with the larger outside
Rudy Vandamme

3. The Fork
Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
Rudy Vandamme

4. Rudy Vandamme
The Fork
Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
Ecologize publications
© Rudy Vandamme, 2011
ISBN: 9789490384029
NUR: 130
Author: Rudy Vandamme
Cover design: Prezns, Marco Bolsenbroek
Layout: Prezns, Marco Bolsenbroek
Illustrations: Prezns, Marco Bolsenbroek
Translation: Pen and Sword Translation Services, Jeroen van Swaaij
No part of this publication is allowed to be multiplied and/or published by means
of print, photocopy, microfilm, or by any other means whatsoever, without the
publisher’s prior written consent.
Ecologize Publications
Stenenstraat 9
8400 Oostende
Belgium
++(32) 475 61 45 23
www.ecologize.net
E-mail: info@ecologize.net

5. Life will develop if you allow it

6. Table of contents
4

7. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
Foreword to the international edition 8
Introduction 11
1. The Development Virus 12
2. A pattern that has gone too far 13
3. Meaningful and lasting development 14
4. A multi-track model for development 15
5. Reader’s guidelines 17
6. The mission of this book 17
Chapter 1: Developing as a life attitude 21
1.1 Look closely at identity 23
1.2 Tell a meaningful story 25
1.3 Reframe Challenges 27
1.4 Connect to what is there in a creative way 30
1.5 Do not let it end 33
1.6 Allow it to organize itself 37
1.7 Do it together with others 40
1.8 Conclusion 44
Chapter 2: The Fork model 47
2.1 The model 48
2.2 The four tracks 50
1. Project: making plans work out right 50
2. Self-guidance: increasing your competence at guidance 50
3. Identity: defining yourself as a unique individual 50
4. Greater whole: having a place among the whole 51
2.3 The philosophy of each track 52
1. Projects: Grounded activity 52
2. Self-guidance: emancipation 53
3. Identity: using your selfhood as your touchstone 55
4. The greater whole: giving meaning 56
2.4 Multi-tracking as a test for lasting development 57
2.5 The track game: switching attention 58
Create meaningfulness by linking project and identity. 58
If you get stuck in a project, see what you can learn from the way you approach it. 59
If you get stuck in a project, look for personal themes that block your way. 59
Link your own development to your place within the greater whole. 59
If you get stuck in therapeutic soul-searching, engage in a project. 59
Learn to see growth in self-guidance as part of your personal development. 60
2.6 Conclusion 60
5

8. Table of contents
Chapter 3: Track 1: The project-based approach 63
3.1 The idea behind ‘the project-based approach’ 64
3.2 A system for a project-based approach 66
1. Define the challenge 67
2. Evoke the experience of the desired situation 67
3. Motivate yourself 68
4. Deal creatively with restrictions 69
5. Overcome or integrate obstacles 69
6. Carry out actions 72
7. Celebrate the project 78
3.3 roject types and their contributions to development
P 78
1. Managing complex projects 79
2. Learning new skills 81
3. Solving problems 82
4. Changing your behavior 84
3.4 Conclusion 86
Chapter 4: Track 2: Improving your self-guidance skills 89
4.1 The idea behind ‘self-guidance’ 90
4.2 Competence model 92
1. Name what is there 93
2. Be in charge of yourself 96
3. Work with gentle guidance 97
4. Follow ‘it’ 101
5. Allow movement 104
4.3 Assessing the skill of self-guidance 105
4.4 Progress methods 107
1. Use your project as your training area 108
2. Look at your success stories in other parts of life 108
3. Study self-guidance experts 109
4.5 Links to other tracks 109
1. Examine the obstacle in your project 110
2. Turn your self-guidance into development of your person 110
3. Work on self-guidance as you work on a project 111
4. Link your self-guidance to the greater whole 111
4.6 Conclusion 111
Chapter 5: Track 3: Development of identity 115
5.1 The idea behind ‘identity’ 116
5.2 Progress methods 120
1. Develop yourself as a ‘human’ 120
2. Reframe your core patterns as talents 123
3. Define yourself in the social field 126
4. Heal yourself 129
6

9. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
5. Integrate your parts 131
6. Tell yourself the story of your life. 133
5.3 Connecting to other tracks 137
1. Find a project that takes you where you want to go 138
2. React carefully to opportunities 140
3. Reframe your current projects 141
4. Decide: quit or go on 142
5. Make a project out of developing your personality 143
5.4 Conclusion 144
Chapter 6: Track 4: Development of the greater whole 147
6.1 The idea behind ‘the greater whole’ 148
6.2 Envisioning the development of the whole 152
1. Ask for an outsider’s point of view 153
2. Look beyond differences 156
3. See how you are the whole 158
6.3 Progress methods 161
1. Work on yourself 163
2. Make yourself heard 164
3. Join like-minded people 166
4. Guide others in becoming comprehensive parts 167
5. Start up dialogues around the ‘we’ 168
6. Use your own mission in life 170
7. Development of the whole as a project 171
6.4 Conclusion 173
Chapter 7: Professionals guiding the development of other people 175
7.1 The idea behind ‘development-framed guidance’ 176
7.2 Professional development-framed guidance 178
1. Construct a goal-oriented project 179
2. Be an educator and work on integrating self-guidance of the client 181
3. Work with the whole person and the context around him 183
4. Let it work both ways 186
7.3 Development-framed coaching and counseling 190
7.4 rofessionals are contributing to the development of guidance
P 192
7.5 Conclusion 193
In closing 194
References 197
The author 200
7

10. Foreword to
the international
edition
8

11. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
This book is a translation of the best selling Dutch book ‘De Vork’. It has become a
useful tool in many educational and professional settings to structure well-formed
development of individuals, teams and organizations. Together with Jeroen van
Swaaij at Pen Sword Translation Services (www.penandswordtranslation.com)
we produced an English version of my particular writing style. This collaboration
was a big adventure in finding ways of expressing ideas. I am happy with the result
and I hope that if you find unusual expressions, you will forgive me, and perhaps
eventually send me an email with your suggestions.
The name of the Fork model came about by accident during a training course, the
very first course in Development-framed Coaching in the Netherlands, back in
2007. I am still grateful to all the people who took part in the creative process we
built up together. Other groups have been part of the process as well. They have
been the ‘lab rats’ for testing this method. I express my deep thanks to all of these
students, who always made me feel like they were my colleagues. They have had to
put up with me changing the method during classes – not always the easiest way
to study!
My thanks also go to the clients in my counseling, life coaching, and teaching prac-
tice. They may not have noticed much of it, as my coaching trajectories tend to be
short, but I do think they enjoyed a developing coach trying out new patterns of
working. I, for my part, enjoyed their company a lot.
My gratitude also extends to the people helping out with production of the book
itself, including the wonderful designer Marco Bolsenbroek at Prezns.
Me, I am just a channel, a medium, someone who writes – someone casting
language on something that is already underway. Development is profoundly rela-
tional, and so is the creation of an approach, theory, method, or book. A swirl of
activity has come about around this approach, which is grounded in the Ecologize
project at this moment. Together, we will spread this body of thoughts. I am fortu-
nate enough to be surrounded by people like my beloved colleagues in our company.
They help me carry all of this. And last but not least, I have my two gorgeous daugh-
ters: ‘Rud, when will it be finished?’ But why finish; every ending is a new beginning
and development never stops, there is only breathing in between
rudy@ecologize.net
www.ecologize.net
9

12. 10

13. Introduction
11

14. Introduction
1. The Development Virus
‘We’ve got to move ahead’ is an idea that has been spreading across the world like
a virus for centuries. Everyone has the virus. Changes, innovations, improvements,
solutions; we simply need them. They have become our way of living.
Cultures that have been organizing themselves according to their own patterns for
20,000 years are dragged along in the worldwide movement of change. I was in a
small village in Nepal when I heard people say: ‘Our son is getting an education
in the city, two days down the road’. As soon as this family has a little money, a
television is sure to make its way into their home. This virus is spread by media,
technology, consumer goods, and education.
You can see the virus at work in your own living room. My father, aged 77, doesn’t
want to use the internet. His grandchildren think that is a shame, because they
would love to send him a quick E-mail sometimes. Those very same children ask me,
a man in his fifties: ‘Why don’t you set up a personal blog to spread your message
instead of writing some boring book?’ Should I follow the trend?
We are right in the middle of a flood of changes, innovations, and problem solu-
tions. We call it development. The flood comes from outside. It seems as if we have
no choice but to go along with the demands of new developments. The flood comes
from inside ourselves as well, however. People seem to have a growing need for
change. We want to change our environment and we want to change ourselves,
trying to be happy and successful. This need can come from the world around you,
but it is inside you as well.
The development virus of ‘changes, innovations, and solutions’ is a pattern of action
used by people to make life, the world, animals, and nature work the way they want
them to work. People want something. You want something. You fight for some-
thing you dream of while you fight against something else that you don’t want. You
want change for the sake of change – just for the fun of it.
The development virus is also a pattern of thinking. It is a belief, and many of us
believe that changes, innovations, and solutions are the best way to give meaning
to our lives. We construct our lives, but we don’t just make ourselves a place to
live and to grow old in. We are moving away from living our lives in one place. We
have become restless. We go back to being nomads, and we construct our lives by
moving. We are humans, and we have always been good at moving. These days,
moving seems to be all we do.
I call this pattern a virus because it spreads so fast in all directions, making it almost
impossible to think about any other way. Today, we can hardly imagine how farm-
ers used to live meaningful lives while each of their days looked much like the day
before. We can’t even think of spending a holiday without any activities.
12

15. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
When you look at this trend like a philosopher, you could say that ‘becoming’ is
more important than ‘being’. The meaning of what we do is always somewhere
in the future. Instead of being, we are going to be. If you want to be, you have to
become. Getting involved in the world, shaping it, reshaping it, and working on it;
that is how people can be.
2. A pattern that has gone too far
We have found out that the development virus is not a happiness virus. It would be
a bit strange to say that our need for development has brought us to paradise. Prob-
lems seem to keep on returning. One problem is solved, and the next one is waiting
around the corner. As soon as you get used to something new, an even newer some-
thing is already underway. Even success is not without worries. Moments of rest are
short. Life offers you a mix of happiness and sadness, results and problems, success
and failure, peace and worry. Life moves in ups and downs.
What do all these changes,
innovations, and solutions mean?
I clearly remember how a fully automatic washing machine arrived at our
home to ease up our mother’s workload. We all hoped that someday, new
technology would run the whole house by itself. It never turned out that
way, however. My mother started using her new free time for work, only now
she worked somewhere else. Becoming does not return to being at all, as
Hegel would have liked it to. We have become restless, and we simply don’t
succeed at being while we are busy at becoming.
In the hubbub of modern life, it seems as if everything we do is running
around as fast as we can. The way we live is an opiate of the masses
– a trance to keep the people calm. Why do we trade our freedom of
choice, which is a real freedom in our societies, for all sorts of activi-
ties that are supposed to make us happy at some point in the future?
Why can’t we enjoy, dance, and sing like people in African cultures do? Why can’t
we use the calm of Buddhism in our daily affairs? Is it some underlying Christian
belief buried deep in western societies, telling us that happiness must be earned?
Is it the daydreams of our economy, making everyone consume hard to play along
in the game of capitalism? Are we repeating the mistakes of the Enlightenment,
thinking that we can ‘construct’ everything?
These days, you need to be wide awake to ask yourself: what do I want in life? What
patterns of ‘being normal’ do I copy from the people around me without knowing
it? How do I want to contribute to society? Do I value changes, innovations, and
solutions? And if I want them, what is the price I have to pay?
13

16. Introduction
3. Meaningful and lasting development
I think that we are at a point where choosing non-development is no longer an
option. Longing for times of peace and quiet is romantic and unrealistic. I think it is
better to carry on developing the way in which we develop than to waste my time
and energy on trying to stop it. This way of thinking about development is in fact
development-framed in itself. It means thinking about what you want to retain,
what you want to add, and what you want to let go of.
A positive side of development is its power to keep people awake, moving along
with the movements of life. Nothing can stop you from caring about what you
want to keep. Nothing should stop you from adding new ways of living. If you react
to the stress of development by saying that development is ‘wrong’, you are just
being conservative and you are running a risk. You are resisting movement that
is simply there. Maybe you feel balanced now, but that will change, because life
always changes.
I called development a virus, but I don’t mean to say that development is a bad
thing. Development is good as long as it is meaningful and lasting. Meaningfulness
is linked to your inner experience of the things you do. Whether you think of an
activity as meaningful depends on yourself. You construct meaning by telling your-
self: ‘Yes, this is what I want to do. This is important to me.’ This will make you feel
calm and at peace with what you do in life. This depends completely on how you
look at the world, and on what you think is beautiful and good. Try to find a match
between the way it is and how you feel it should be.
Development becomes lasting development if it has a long-term perspective. You
link what you do now to the impact that your actions will have on the future. If you
don’t, you may get results, but their effects will turn against you. You can decide to
practice at sports so hard right now, for instance, that your body is damaged later
on. Developing with a long-term perspective can mean keeping an eye on your diet
today in order to keep your body fit in the future. You could invest in your talents
now and profit from your investment later. We all have a choice to live our present
lives in ways that allow our children to grow up in a better world. Lasting develop-
ment allows people to participate in a movement that is far greater than just this
present moment. This will make development mean much more than just getting
quick and personal results.
Meaningfulness is different for every person, but everyone can see when results are
lasting. Meaningful and lasting are two qualities that need each other. Throughout
the text, I will sometimes use different words instead of ‘meaningful and lasting’.
You may read words like well-formed development, or ‘beautiful’ development. I am
just trying to find words for development that matches the way life is.
14

17. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
We have a long road of research ahead of us if we want to find the best guidelines
for meaningful and lasting development. Until we find those guidelines, there are
two important decisions that we can make at this point: choosing to develop, and
trying to make the development we choose meaningful and lasting. This is why I
decided to call this approach ‘development-framed’. The approach entails address-
ing life-events in the frame of well-formed development. It does not imply viewing
life from a perspective of blind growth, solving problems, or endless innovation.
The well-formed expressions and ecology of life have become too important for
me to overlook in my way of thinking about life – and yes: I am still talking about
development
I prefer the annex ‘-framed’ over alternatives such as ‘-oriented’ or ‘directed’. Devel-
opment is a frame of thinking, a perspective, and a worldview, rather than an
object toward which we orient or directs ourselves. The challenge presented by
this approach is to shape all activities in life by observing criteria inspired by well-
formed development. ‘Framing’ denotes the act of conveying meaning, whereas
‘-framed’ is the name for this hands-on approach.
The fact that we are developing almost goes without saying; the question is how
we are developing. Development is typical of our species, of Homo sapiens sapiens,
or at least of western people. The most important point for us is to find better ways
to develop. What we should change is our current pattern of development that is
going too far. We are looking into the way we develop. Our mission is to look closely
at the virus, and to change it into an activity that matches the logic of life in the
universe; an approach with respect for differences and for cultures with other opin-
ions about development. That is the contribution this book intends to make to the
ongoing process of cultural transition.
4. A multi-track model for development
Development has been on my mind for over a decade. I have asked myself: ‘When
does a person’s own development, or that of organizations or societies, match the
patterns of life?’
15

18. Introduction
Food for thought from everyday life
• How can we expand our multicultural society and develop it in a
meaningful way?
• How can the process of becoming faster, richer and more successful make
people happier?
• If you really want to get a divorce, how can you do it in a way that keeps all
the parties happy?
• At what point does new technology become distorted, unsustainable, and
impairing, and when is it lasting development?
• When does a merger between two companies result in lasting
development?
• How can you look at losing your job as a chance to develop yourself?
• How can you make old age and disease meaningful?
• How is death an opportunity for development?
• How can your childhood traumas make you a stronger person?
• How can you regard problems with your adolescent child as a way of
developing yourself?
Instead of just sitting back and thinking about development, I am firmly rooted in
the practice of coaching, training, and counseling. This is why I look at my job as my
field of research. I use my work to test my way of thinking. This is why I explain my
method by looking at how it works in real life. If we begin by looking at how this
method can help people live meaningful lives, we will have something to work with
when we start thinking about how societies can develop in lasting ways.
Of course, I didn’t just pick any method for development. My method is called
‘multi-track’ development. You could also just say ‘the Fork’.
The Fork is a method for making meaningful and lasting development useful in real
life. Roughly speaking, the method works as follows. First, development is divided
into different building blocks called parts, which together make up well-formed
development. Each of the four differentiated tracks must be taken into account in
order to accomplish meaningful development. Any kind of development will become
more beautiful if you link concrete activities to development of the larger whole.
The mission of this book is to explain the different building blocks of development,
as well as to show you how to employ each individual track, and especially to point
out where the tracks meet and affect each other.
You can use the Fork to shape any kind of development. You can look at your own
development: how are you developing yourself? From there, we can look at devel-
opment in other people: how can you, as a professional, guide others in their
development? Finally, there are teams and greater wholes like organizations and
16

19. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
cultures. This instrument will let you see activities like management, education,
and social work in a broader development perspective. I am sure that the Fork can
be useful in many areas, and in many ways.
5. Reader’s guidelines
When I was writing this book, I decided that I did not want to tell my story in a
straight line from start to finish. The book is meant to move in circles. The first
chapter explains development as an approach and as a way of looking at life, and
I will use it to explain what I think is well-shaped development. You will find seven
guidelines to help you find your own way of looking at development.
The second chapter is an introduction to my Fork model. This chapter explains the
tracks and the philosophy behind the tracks. The next four chapters are detailed
descriptions of each individual track in the Fork. I will show you how handle the
tracks, and how to get a grip on development. The order of tracks is: the project
(chapter 3), self-guidance (chapter 4), identity (chapter 5), and the greater whole
(chapter 6).
The seventh and final chapter is about professional coaching of development. It
was written for anyone who has made it his or her job to guide others, such as
counselors, coaches, advisors, psychotherapists, teachers, executives, doctors, phys-
ical therapists, nurses, architects, lawyers, and accountants. How do professionals
guide development? What is development-framed coaching? And how do profes-
sionals add their own share to the development of professional coaching itself? You
will find the answers to these questions at the end of this book.
6. The mission of this book
I wrote this book for three groups of readers. Firstly, it is for all of us as individuals
in society. Then there is the group of professionals. Thirdly, I hope to contribute to
philosophy, and in doing so I hope to encourage you, the philosopher, to think of
new and critical questions. Below you will find explanations of this book’s mission
for each group of readers.
Individuals
With this book, I hope to reach a broad group of readers and invite them to join me
in finding pleasant and more meaningful ways of handling life. I hope this work
will provide some grip and a frame of thought for people. It would be great to see
people connecting with each other to start doing this together. The ideas explained
in this book do not make up a complete solution or a doctrine, they are simply one
possible approach, but it is an appealing one. Fortunately, I am not the only one
who wants to look closely at the way we live, and to try and make it a lasting and
meaningful way of living. I am only a spokesman, a channel, a person trying to point
out the direction we are moving in. Maybe you will say: ‘Hey wait a minute, I know
what this is about’, ‘I am doing this already; here I see it explained as a system’.
17

20. Introduction
This book was written for readers who, for a start, want to get going with their own
development. You are probably already looking for ways to live a meaningful life,
and to add what you have to the greater whole around you. Just thinking about
theories of development is not enough. We should try to understand from within,
as unique persons, what the development-framed approach is about.
How are you engaged in living your
life?
You are also someone who likes to keep it practical, always looking for tools
that you can use in real life. On the other hand, you want a well-considered
approach, because you don’t like one-sided thinking or cheap copies. This is
not a quick self-help guide and it is not about self-development; it is a way
of learning about life.
Professionals
The second group I aim for in this book are professionals in the fields of social work, coach-
ing, and public welfare services in general, because they are the people that make social
change happen. Their field of work lies between the people and the systems of society.
Professionals are individuals and parts of systems at the same time. They have individual
freedom as well as professional freedom. In addition, they can have a lasting effect on
development.
How development-framed are
the patterns you work with as
a professional?
All professionals have been trained in a specific way at some point, making
them students of their own time. They haven’t stopped there, however. They
are wide awake, they like to read, and they think about the methods they
use. They are not afraid to take a critical look at the patterns they work with.
They are not afraid to ask questions, or to move along with new approaches
and ways of thinking.
Do you meet lots of patients, clients, students, or customers? Or do
you have an important position in an organization? If so, you have
the power to make decisions and to create differences. My mission
is to show you that your work will become much more meaningful if
you fit it in a framework of development. It would be great to see you
working along in the broader development of society.
Philosophers
A third mission lies in the field of philosophy. I want to lay a foundation for an
outlook on the idea of ‘development’. This book is my attempt at actualizing the
18

21. The Fork. Connecting the deeper inside with the larger outside
idea of development from the practice of life. Of course, in doing so, I have been
inspired by some of the great philosophers, academic literature, and events as I see
them unfold in the world.
What does it mean to have an
actualized outlook on development?
Development has been around for ages. The idea is not new at all. All civili-
zations have had their own ideas about development, about advancement,
and about history. The way we have been thinking about development over
the past two hundred years, however, is no longer tenable. Life doesn’t
move along straight lines. We can’t control everything with our powers of
reason. You cannot solve everything by yourself. We are looking for new ways
of thinking about development, and we are searching for different ways of
coping with the many movements of life. Although the idea of development
has been with us for a long time, we need to drag it into the future to make
it fit our modern way of life. This is what I mean by actualizing our outlook
on development.
We need a new outlook because modern societies have new and
different needs. We need a guideline for coping with the complexi-
ties of the world around us in more meaningful and flexible ways. We
should learn to see the greater whole. We feel the need to give mean-
ing to the movements of life. All over the world, people need to find a
balance between economical and political decisions on one side, and
existential and religious desires on the other.
The development-framed approach is just one possible answer to the question of
what we should learn in the present stage of western and globalizing culture. With
this answer, I try to contribute to the way our culture is developing right now. I am
trying to update our idea of ‘development’ by making a few changes to the develop-
ment virus as it exists today.
I hope that the ideas in this book will spread like a virus too.
What do you think you should do
when you think about developing
human ‘civilization’, of which you
are part?
I hope that you will use your own inspiration when you put the method of
the Fork to work. Remember that the Fork is just a model, which is simply a
way to make the idea of development concrete. Feel free to make your own
tool out of it. Let it live, and let it move. Take good care of the inspiration.
19

22. 1
20

23. Developing as
a life attitude
‘What is your idea of “development”?’
‘When do the effects of development become meaningful?’
‘How do you give personal meaning to what you do?’
‘What would it mean if you really accepted the development-
framed life attitude?’
21