3. The First Circle is similar to the first circle from the original Hell as
there is no true punishment as the people here are considered virtuous. It is
for people who enjoy ironically watching bad movies such as The Room or
Troll 2. It is a step down from Film heaven yet it is a good place to live in
and joke around about bad movies. Occasionally, you may see Nicolas Cage
visiting, checking in on the fallen.
5. The Second circle of Film Hell punished those who like stoner
movies, these people are literally stoned (as in attacked with stones)
by the Mexican drug Cartel. This is to symbolize how drugs are far
more dangerouss than movies give them credit for by having drug
dealers physically attack you. People in there include the
aforementioned Drug Cartel as well as famous stoners such as Snoop
Dogg. They are in the second circle because whie typical stoner
movies can be bad they aren’t terrible.
7. The third circle is reserved for people who enjoy terrible film
adaptations. In there you are forced to dive into a pile of books in the
vein hopes of finding a good one, This punishment represents how
much cheap crap movies get made to profit off of existing products. If
you look hard enough you’ll probably see H.P. Lovecraft, prominent
writer in history, and his famous cat. I put this circle on third because
they are still many bad movie adaptations but there are a few good
ones.
9. The fourth circle is where people who like the Jackass
Franchise speifically go to. There you are submerged in boiling hot
Horse milk and if you try to get out at all, the Jackass crew will run
you over with a shopping cart. This is symbolic as it involves two key
elements from the Jackass franchise which are the shopping cart
riding and Horse milk. The entire Jackass crew is obviousy there in
order to enforce their wicked regime. I put this one on fourth as it is
much harder to sit through than (most) adaptations or stoner movies.
11. The fifth circle is made for people who enjoy shameless
rip-offs of popular films. Punishment for these people is to experience
there entire life again and again except each time they restart, the
entire world gets uglier and decrepid and the people around loses a
small amount of their brain cells, this is to symbolize how the movies
they watch and enjoy are just worse versions of a superior film. While
you are there you might find bootleg characters or bootleg
manufacturers within this circle such as respectively Peter Griffin and
the Chinese. I put this circle higher because of how unbareable some
of these bootlegs are but not too high because they are made by
smaller businesses.
13. The sixth circle is made for people who enjoy terrible “made
for video” or “made for TV sequels.” As punishment for enjoying
these films people are thrust into an everlasting fist fight with Micheal
Eisner, fromer CEO of Disney to represent how that man stole your
soul for cheap VHSs. People who might appear here might be Dan
Castello (Robin Williams replacement in the Aladin sequels) and
Disney executives. These are actually similar to bootlegs but I paced
them lower because they’re canon which makes it worse.
15. The seventh circle is for people who like the Star Wars
prequels. These people will be chased down by film reviewer Mike
Stoklasa with a shotgun while he shouts to you about how much of a
demented moron you are while you have to run through fake CGI
green screen backgrounds. The symbolism is that the Star Wars
prequels are nothing put CGI green screen backgrounds and the
reason Mike wants to shoot you with his gun is because he hates the
prequels so much that he made a 70 minute review about how terrible
The Phantom Menace was. (Source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI&list=PLF34EBB1
D68064251). Down in this circlee you’re likely to find George Lucas
sitting and watching you in the background or worse yet, the
Infamous Jar Jar Binks. I put this circle so low because of how terrible
the Prequels were.
17. The eighth circle punishes those who like North Korean
Propoganda for whatever reason. The punishment for this sin is
living in North Korea, how is that symbolic?, who’s to say?, I think
that it’s pretty self explanitory. You’ll probably find a bunch of
Asians there like Kim Jong Un. Other major world politicians may
be there too like Donald Trump, the guy from Home Alone 2. I put
this near the bottom of Film Hell as Propoganda is pretty uncool.
22. The ninth and final circle of Film Hell is reserved for the
most deplorable people on earth, people who enjoy Adam Sandler
comedies, these people will be subject to the most brutal
punishment known to man which is to be Adam Sandler’s personal
slave, as he is too lazy to be capable of doing anything himself.
You’re overseer will be Adam Sandler’s brutal, bloodthirsty partner
in crime, Alfredo James “Dunkaccino” Pacino the Dark One, who
will whip you constantly with his chocalate whip. The punishment
is not only harsh but EXTREMELY symbolic because whether they
knew it or not, they were already mental slaves to Sandler due to
consuming hours of product placement that he strategically put in
throughout his films, people you find here will no only be the two
afformentioned demons but also a good deal of other failed SNL
actors who drop in regularly. This is the ninth circle because it
punishes those who, far more than anyone else in this world, need to
get a better taste in movies.
