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1. Conspiracy
Theories
Let's debunk (cute) pet behaviors that are really just plain sus
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4. I believe my pet is *whispers*
an alien from outer space.
(But don't tell him I said this)
conspiracy theory:

5. This is
Toby.
We met one rainy night accidentally
(or so he would have me believe).

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Staring without blinking
Sleeping most of the time
Asking for pets and rubs
The things Toby does that
support my conspiracy theory:
Good
boy!

7. without
blinking
Research says pets stare to communicate
or relay their love to us hooman butlers.
I have doubts about that, here's what really
I think about their unblinking stares.
"Need to capture
all hooman behavior for
our alien overlord."
"Go on, get hypnotized,
hooman. Continue to think
that I'm just a cute pet."
"I'm keeping my eyes on you.
No funny business, hooman."
BACK TO OUTLINE

8. Fact: Our pets sleep a
lot. Seriously, a lot. This
may sound normal to
others but I find it highly
sus
and think they are
most of
the time
Time to examine
saved hooman info
I bet they really are just using
the time they are sleeping to
analyze our data.
Time to report back
to their overlords
Maybe they're using this time to
secretly send their reports to
their leaders.
Time for meeting
with other pets
Or maybe they are just meeting
(through dreams) and planning
with other pets!
BACK TO OUTLINE

9. Some say it's another love language.
But again, I have reason to believe it's another way
for determining our greatest weakness:
being total simps for them!
Asking for
BACK TO OUTLINE

10. for listening
folks!
May we all survive when the time comes that all the pets
decide it's time to finally rain down pet-pocalypse on us.
@reallygreatsite

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