The mindaudit petranunzi
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The mindaudit petranunzi
- 1. The Mind Audit Cleanse Clear Create @PetraVelzeboer www.petranunzi.com
- 2. The journey… 1. Audit 2. Cleanse 3. Clear 4. Create 5. Act
- 8. What’s that one thing you’ve always wanted to do / feel / create? …If only you were rich enough, pretty enough, smarter, born into a different family, didn’t have that trauma, had a better education, weren’t stuck in an education, were more open minded, weren’t depressed, didn’t lose someone close, were less scared, didn’t have a mortgage, did have a mortgage, had a different personality, had a better job, didn’t have a job, had more skills, were more creative, were more logical, had more confidence, were a risk taker…
- 9. 1. Audit What’s holding you back • Now talk to the same person and convince them of why you can never achieve that dream.
- 12. Lets get morbid for a minute
- 13. Who do you want to BE • Let’s ignore what you need to DO for a minute. • Talk to the person next to you. In order to live the life you truly want who do you need to BE
- 14. Tim Ferris
- 15. 3. Clear What’s the new story you’d like to tell yourself about what has happened to you. • My story was… • My story is…
- 16. DON’T THINK ABOUT THIS APPLE
- 18. 5 Ways to Wellbeing
- 19. Reasons we get stuck • Waiting for the perfect conditions • Having too many ideas • No time • Not having confidence • Not having money • Analysis paralysis
- 20. 4. Create • Visualize Success • Talk about it • Do it
- 21. 5 key strategies for success 1. Start 2. Be with people on the next level to you 3. Get good at things 4. Nurture a growth mindset 5. Decide who you want to BE
- 22. 5. Action 1. Pick a buddy 2. What are you going to do 3. When will you do it by 4. How will your buddy know
Editor's Notes
- Audit. Where do we spend our mental energy Cleanse. Acceptance Vs Forgiveness Clear. What’s the new story you’ll tell yourself Create. What’s possible Act. Bravery is a choice I want to tell you a bit about me and about how the story I told myself about life and how hard it was got me stuck in a loop of misery and unhappiness for much longer than I care to admit. I needed to educate myself on how to clear the bad stuff that prompted guilt, resentment, anger and fear and instead believe it was possible to really create something else.
- They decided it was an excellent idea to run away from everything that was toxic in society and join a hippy utopia filled with love and the promise of making the world a better place.
- Me and my siblings were homeschooled and given life’s education across countries across the globe
- There were good times but it was in my teenage years that I realised how ill-prepared I was for the real world. I had no formal education, no conversations about what I wanted to BE when I grew up as there was no reference point for a life outside of giving to others instead of ourselves. This is where it got tricky…Life wasn’t living up to my expectations of what I was prepared for …
- This was. Life certainly didn’t live up to my expectations when at 23 I was pregnant, moved to London to be with my boyfriend, felt isolated, so lonely and invisible and like I had no purpose in the world. I had failed. I was a fuck up. I was stuck in a loop of blaming my past, blaming the cult, blaming my children, blaming myself and the shame I felt at what I’d become made me isolate myself and only make it worse. This was the point that I woke up one morning about 10 years ago, looked up at the ceiling and thought I wanted the day to end before it had even begun. I thought if this is life what is the point…and I knew then that I had a choice.
- These may seem like the biggest achievements in my life. Being the first one to get a degree, raising conscientious children and well getting married but really my biggest achievement has been breaking the cycle of abuse for my children and learning to be happy one day at a time.
- So we’ve asked ourselves the question about what it is we would create. Now my question to you is, how much time do you spend dreaming, thinking, working out, problem solving, learning and trying things to do with that dream? When we’re stuck in a cycle of thinking that is holding us back we can usually see that we are inadvertently spending 80% of our mental energy on why things have gone wrong, why our story is unique and if you only understood how bad it is you would know that the big dream can never be done. Now that I look back I can see that at least 80% of my thoughts were stuck in this place. 20% wasn’t even creating it was just forced into the present moment by looking after my kids and surviving. Draw yourself a pie chart and and Audit yourself. How much time in an average day do you spend thinking, planning and acting on what you want to create? So just map out a week and do some rough estimates of the amount of time that you do on different things i.e. at work, with friends, socialising, sleeping, etc. How much mental energy do you spend stuck in reinforcing the idea of why it can’t be done?
- This might sound radical but really these are just social constructs that help us make sense of our trauma. We want to DO something, we see these things as an action, I can accept or I can forgive and then we ask ourselves if this is morally correct given the harm that was done, we spend so much energy thinking about what we ‘should’ do that we forget that life is happening in the present. Connections, opportunity, learning, excitement, it’s all happening here and now and we miss it as we toy with these concepts. Do I forgive the people who people who led the son of the founder of the cult to kill his nanny and then himself? Do I forgive certain individuals for humiliating and hurting my brother who’s only crime was to be a good natured comedian? Do I spend time thinking about how I accept what has happened and how it has some greater purpose? Not really. - If you’ve lost someone and are dealing with pain, do you focus on the loss or on the value that they brought you? What I do is spend 80% of my time in continuous forward motion. The best healing is breaking the cycle of past abuse through education & self development and giving my children the tools for being authentic and learning how to choose what they want in a changing world. The best cleanse is forward action. I choose to turn the disadvantage I thought I had into my greatest strength. I choose to look on the people in my past with kindness and pity. I choose to focus my energy on what is in my power rather than what isn’t.
- I’m sure you’ve asked yourself this before… When you’re 110 and on your deathbed what do you want to look back on. 5 minutes with a different person. 1. What are the key aspects that will help you FEEL you had a good life? What are the non negotiables?
- In order to have THAT life an leave THAT legacy. Who do you need to BE? You might need to be BRAVE, vulnerable, strong, patient, kind… Now these are the qualities you’re going to need to nurture in order to get the thing you want. This was a revolutionary question for me. The follow up was ‘what if it was possible now’
- Boredom is a dangerous place. Routine. Lack of challenge. Stability. Dangerous place. As Tim Ferris says… In his most recent book Tools of Titans he talks about the habits and routines of some of the most successful people in the world. The similarities across all of his interviews were that they all have some kind of meditative practice, they are grateful for the good in their life & they take away distractions by focusing their attention on continued forward action.
- So in line with the 80 / 20 rule I want us to draft a new story about what’s possible in our lives. What do we choose to focus on. For example if we’re always focusing on what we DON’T want its very difficult to get rid of that cycle…(next slide)…For example if I put up this slide and say don’t think about this apple what do you think you’re going to think about. On the flip side if we create a story that turns our weakness into our strengths well then suddenly everythings possible. My story was….I was raised in a cult with no education, my parents deserve to die & I’m going to mess my kids up in some kind of revenge. I changed my story to…My past has given me a vast knowledge of people from all walks of life, it allows me to adapt to different needs, I can strengthen this skill and with vulnerability help other people feel heard and empowered…just a sentence or 2. Tell the person next to you.
- The happiness equation is all about our expectations. When life meets our expectations we’re happy. When it doesn’t we’re not.
- Some of the things that can hel aid our happiness is looking after our bodies and our minds.
- Continuous forward motion is the bravest thing I can do and the tactic that gets the most results. The learning curve
- When I was doing my MSc at night while working full time and raising kids (not a great person to have around). I would imagine as much detail as possible on my cap, gown, outfit, feeling, who would be in the audience…so I encourage you to daydream a little, IF its in the interests of focusing your attention on what is possible. Begin talking to people about your dream. You’d be surprised how many networks, ideas, reinforcement you can get. It also makes it more real than being stuck in your head. Now I can’t stress this bit enough!! DO IT. One step a day is 365 days in a year. A whole life can change this way My life is unrecognizable o what it was 10 years ago.
- What are you going to do When will you do it by Who are you going to tell. Exchange email addresses for follow up.
- Courage is a muscle that can be developed.