The document discusses confrontation and challenging skills used in counseling. It defines confrontation as gently bringing awareness to something a client may be avoiding or overlooking. The goals of confrontation include increasing client awareness of blind spots and developing new perspectives. There are three steps to confrontation in counseling: identifying mixed messages, bringing awareness to clashes, and evaluating the effectiveness of the intervention. The document provides guidance on what to challenge, such as inconsistencies, irrational beliefs, problems being avoided, and opportunities being ignored.
2. MeaningofConfrontationandChallenging skills
Generally speaking the term confrontation means
challenging another person over a disagreement.
However, confrontation as a counselling skill is an
attempt by the counsellor to gently bring about
awareness in the client of something that may
they may have overlooked or avoided.
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3. Confrontationand Challenging skill
• Goals
To increase participation in the counseling process
To increase client’s awareness of blind spots and develop new
perspectives
To identify responsibility for problems and unused potential
To enhance the client’s problem solving ability
To challenge distortions, excuses, games
To explore consequences of client’s actions
To move beyond discussion and lethargy into action
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4. • A client will not perceive your efforts as confrontational.
• Invite clients to challenge themselves to change ways of thinking
and acting that keep them stuck in problem situations and
prevent them from identifying and developing opportunities.
• If they do not accept the invitation, then challenge them directly
to change. Examine what the benefits and costs (logical
consequence) there are for the client if they do not choose to
make change.
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5. Challenging is a logical step in listening:
Attending listening understanding
Challenging curious empathy
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6. First step:
Involves the identification of mixed or
unrelated messages (expressed through the client’s
words or non-verbals).
Second step:
Requires the counsellor to bring about
awareness of these clashes and assist the client to
work through these.
Third step:
Involves evaluating the effectiveness of
the intervention evidenced by the client’s change and
growth.
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7. • What to Challenge
• Between what is said now vs. earlier
• “Earlier I thought I heard you say that you did not want to quit your job, now I am
hearing you say that you are planning to quit.”
• Between verbal and nonverbal cues
• “I hear you say that you are not angry with him, but I can’t help but notice that your fists
are clenched, you are talking faster, and you are using strong words when you talk
about him.”
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8. What to Challenge (cont.)
Between what the client says s/he wants and what s/he is doing to
achieve it
I understand that you want to not be dependent on your parents any longer,
however I don’t see that you are planning to get a job to make this happen.
Blindspots
lack of awareness
self-deception
knowing but not caring
choosing to stay in the dark
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9. What to Challenge (cont.)
• Disputing Beliefs when thinking is distorted, irrational, or illogical
• Help the client explore underlying beliefs that might be leading to self
defeating patterns
• Listen for exaggerated, hyperbolic language (e.g.,
“never”, “always”, “only”)
• Listen for absolutes
• Listen for sense of entitlement
• Listen for overgeneralizations
• Listen for “musts” and “shoulds”
• Listen for shirking of responsibility
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10. What to Challenge (cont.)
Problems they are avoiding
Opportunities they are ignoring
Things they are overlooking
Things they are refusing to see
Things they don’t want to do
Assumptions they are making
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11. Activity
Practice challenging these clients:
A woman who takes care of everyone else
except herself
A student who says she plans go to university but her Z.score is
not enough.
A client who professes to hold strong religious
values, but disparages people of other racial
and ethnic groups
A client who is crying while stating that
everything is fine
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12. Skill: Immediacy
Immediacy – using a moment in counseling to deal with an issue, whether it be
b/w you and the client or you are challenging the client
Situations for Immediacy
lack of direction
tension
trust
diversity
dependency
counterdependency
attraction (be very careful in this discussion)
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13. Where can be usedConfrontationand
Challenging Skill
Client with depression (S)
Client with OCD
Client with Traumatic experience
Addiction
Client with Behavioral issues
A good confrontation is gentle, supportive and
accurately reflects what the client has shared
with you.
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