Attachment, trauma, emotional regulation in school to make sense of 'nonsensical behaviour' :Teachers safeguarding conference Barton Local Collaborative trust January 2015
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Poor attachments, trauma, developmental delay can cause children act in apparently "nonsensical ways" which can make managing classrooms very tricky. Seeing childrens behaviour through the trauma lens throws new light on old issues and helps teachers manage challenging children with more empathy, compassion and effective strategies
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Attachment, trauma, emotional regulation in school to make sense of 'nonsensical behaviour' :Teachers safeguarding conference Barton Local Collaborative trust January 2015
- 1. Morning Keynote Attachment, trauma & emotional regulation Principles, strategies & confusions Helen Oakwater © Helen Oakwater 2015 Do not reproduce without written permission Barton Local Collaborative Trust Safeguarding & Behaviour Training Day for Teachers
- 2. What the **** was that about? 2 When/Where on the Time Line is the root cause? What might be the sensory trigger? nowthen Time Line
- 3. Todays presentation pathway Time Lines & Continuums • Child development: needs & attachment principles • “Good enough” parenting = secure attachment, • Inadequate, poor, toxic parenting = insecure attachments • Trauma - creation & manifestation & brain wiring • Arousal levels, emotional regulation, sensory triggers • Differentiation • Strategies, language A problem well defined is a problem half solved
- 4. FACTORS INFLUENCING DEVELOPMENT CONCEPTION IN UTERO BIRTH POST NATAL INFANCY CHILDHOOD ADOLESCENCE Maternal GenePaternal Gene Drugs, Alcohol, Nutrition, Smoking Stress Hormones Domestic Violence PrematurityBirth Trauma Drug Withdrawal Nutrician, Smoke inhalation NAI, Neglect, Abuse, DV Paternal Maternal Management External Environment, Abuse Poverty, Nutrician, NeglectParenting Style(s) Quality of Other Carers Foster Care Education Schooling Siblings Alcohol Drug use Peers 4
- 6. 0-1 Wall as metaphor for children's needs Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed Childs needs during second & third year include: Attachment Play Security Boundaries Food Love Friends Encouragement Sleep Hugs Warmth Shelter Routine Eye Contact Comfort Attunement Security Calm Food Empathy Responsive adults Stimulation Social skills Trust Toys Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed2-3 See Adoption UK website for “The Wall” interactive demonstration
- 7. SECURE CARE GIVING ’Good enough’ parenting Winnicott • Available • Protective • Sensitive • Accepting • Cooperative • Flexible • Consistent • Predictable • Open Communication
- 8. Securely Attached Cycle Baby experiences discomfort or a need Baby protests, usually by crying Mother responds picks baby up, makes eye contact, talks to and soothes baby Baby calms trust develops Baby plays and interacts with mother Baby rests 8
- 9. Attachment is an affectionate bond between two individuals that endures through space and time and serves to join them emotionally John Kendell
- 10. • VIEW OF SELF • I’m safe • I’m loved • I’m cared for • I’m valued • I can trust adults • I’m special • I’m okay • VIEW OF THE WORLD • It’s a safe place • People love me • People care for me • I am important to them • There is a place for me here • The world is okay Attachment between child and others 10
- 11. BELIEFS SHAPE BEHAVIOUR Event Action / Behaviour FILTERS 11 Beliefs and values below the surface B E L I E F S
- 12. 12
- 13. 13 NO “IDEAL” FOR SOME CHILDREN
- 14. 14
- 15. Disturbed Attachment Cycle Baby experiences discomfort or a need Baby protests, usually by crying Baby rests Mother does not responds to baby’s cry or else responds inconsistently Baby protests even louder Mother responds with anger or resentment or does not respond Baby gives up, trust does not develop and RAGE or APATHY develops instead Baby plays with self or becomes apathetic 15
- 16. INSECURE ATTACHMENTS: CAREGIVER CHARACTERISTICS •Insensitive •Under involved •Inconsistent •Anxious •Uncertain •Rejecting •Hostile •Cold •Conditional •Intrusive •Controlling •Frightening •Frightened •Helpless •Abdicate responsibility + David Howe University of East Anglia, Norwich Ambivalent Avoidant Disorganised Histories of non-attachment
- 17. INSECURE ATTACHMENTS: CHILDS’ BEHAVIOURAL CHARACTERISTICS •Hyperactivation of attachment •Coercive •Passive •Dependent •Need + Anger •Defended •Emotions inhibited •Compliant •Self sufficient •Independent •Anger + Fear •Fear/compliance •Compulsive caregiving •Rage + Fear + Sadness = controlling aggressive David Howe University of East Anglia, Norwich Ambivalent Avoidant Disorganised
- 18. SOME “SYMPTOMS” SPECIFIC TO THE TYPE OF ATTACHMENT DISORDER ANXIOUS overly clingy superficially compliant “sell their souls” for acceptance openly destructive if told “no” AMBIVALENT openly angry and defiant destructive – things, people, pets can’t give and receive affection unless they want something dangerous impulsive risk takers AVOIDANT isolated & don’t care feel omnipotent, over independent sullen, openly oppositional in a passive-aggressive way DISORGANISED “variety of symptoms- behaviour is grossly disorganised, bizarre and has features of the other 3 at various times often for no apparent reason” Taken from “Children Who Shock and Surprise: A Guide to Attachment Disorders” by Elizabeth Randolph 18
- 19. • VIEW OF SELF • I’m not safe • I’m not cared for • I’m scared • I’m unlovable • I’m ignored • I’m not valued • I’m alone • I’m bad • VIEW OF THE WORLD • It’s a terrifying hostile world • People hurt you • Dangerous place • No one could ever love me • I am not important • There is no place for me • The world is dangerous • The world is not okay Poor attachment between child and others 19
- 20. (Adult) Arousal Diagram (Ogden & others) Self Regulation & Window of Tolerance 20 Window of Tolerance Hyper / over vigilant Hypo / under vigilant ?? Dissociated?? Feel & Think Feel Feel?
- 21. Simple Consistent Open “Dysregulated children in school will not learn”: Dr Bruce Perry Three step process 1. Regulate (you & them) 2. Relate 3. Reason 21
- 22. Unmet early needs creates insecure ‘Wall’ thus destabilizing the future See Adoption UK website for “The Wall” interactive demonstration Need 0-1 Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed2-3 Need NeedNeed Need Need4-7 Need 8-12 13-18 18-25 Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Taken from Bubble Wrapped Children
- 23. 23 TIMELINE 0 10 20 Likely LifeTrajectory with little intervention Inadequate→ Poor → Toxic Parenting
- 24. What’s an infants experience with Inadequate, Poor or Toxic Parenting and/or Domestic Abuse and/or Chaos and/or Trauma?24
- 25. The inadequate parents constantly focussing on their own problems, they turn their children into “mini adults” who take care of them The controllers they use guilt, manipulation, and even over helpfulness to direct their children’s lives The alcoholics *(drug abusers)* mired in a denial and chaotic mood swings, their addiction leaves little time or energy for the demands of parenthood. The verbal abusers whether overtly abusive or subtly sarcastic, they demoralise their children with constant put downs and rob them of their self confidence. The physical abusers incapable of controlling their own deep seated rage they often blame their children for their own ungovernable behaviour The sexual abusers whether flagrantly sexual or covertly seductive, they are the ultimate betrayers, destroying the very heart of childhood - its innocence. Classified by Dr Susan Forward in her book “Toxic Parents” 1989 Toxic Parenting ** In 1989 Dr Forward did not include drug abusers though similar issues would apply now 25 Taken from Bubble Wrapped Children
- 26. Classification What was done to them Some examples What it did to them Their experience & possible interpretations Emotional Abuse Berated, insulted, compared unfavourably to others, ignored I am wrong, bad, worthless. They want me dead. I should not be alive, I’m not wanted Physical Abuse Beaten, thrashed, burned, used as ashtray, hit with chair/stick/hand/belt, locked in cupboard The world is a dangerous place, I am bad & powerless, Sexual Abuse Violated, Raped, forced to watch or participate in sexual acts Destroyed innocence. I can’t trust anyone Neglect Unfed for days, nappies not changed, no toys, no interaction with adults, left alone for hours, unwashed, no play, No self concept. I don’t matter, life is hopeless, I am helpless &/or rage filled. Do I even exist? Chaotic environment Lots of different carers, locations, broken promises, frequent moves, squalor No safe or secure base. I am terrified. Trauma A combination of experiences and events that felt utterly overwhelming or life threatening to the child I am going to die. Reasons children are permanently removed from their birth families 26 Taken from Bubble Wrapped Children
- 27. 27 SOME CHILDREN ARE REPEATEDLY ‘TERRIFIED’
- 28. overwhelming emotions which they are unable to integrate or a feeling they might die What is T R A U M A ? Psychological trauma is generally defined by two conditions An individual experiences either: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (adults) Developmental Trauma Disorder (children) 28
- 29. T r a u m a 29 • PTSD: adult • Developmental Trauma Disorder: children • complex trauma • Secondary Trauma: Adults • Brain wiring: look at CTA • Sensory: see, hear, feel, taste, touch –Kinaesthetic, Feeling, Internal bodily sensations –Visual Visual –Auditory ♫♪♪♪♫♪♫♪♪♫♪ –Taste –Smell
- 30. Sensory Experience with Neglect •Hear - Crashing doors .. “shut up you stupid f**ing Bi**h” •See - darkness •Taste - sour milk, vomit •Smell - own faeces & urine : vomit & sour milk •Feel - cracked skin of nappy rash from stomach to knees, •Feel - cold feet, gripping stomach pains from hunger
- 31. Sensory Triggers/ Shrapnel Metaphor 31
- 32. 32 Metaphorical Bubblewrap distorts their view of the world and the world’s view of them
- 33. “The body keeps score”: van der Kolk ∆ Implicit Memory 0-18 months & later ∆ sensory ∆‘ heap’, chaotic, no labels ∆ Explicit memory only after 18+ months ∆ more organised (filing system with labels) ∆ language ∆ Internal video recorder, ∆ Internal working model, representation of the world ∆ Imprinting 0-7y ∆ Modelling 7-14y ∆ Socialisation 14-21y 33
- 34. 34 www.childtraumaacedemy.com Free Online Tutorials www.childtraumaacedemy.org Dr Bruce Perry Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk The Trauma Centre, Boston www.thetraumacenter.org Resources: Brain and Trauma
- 35. http://www.childtraumaacademy.com/ amazing_brain/lesson01/page03.html Screen shots from CTA http://www.childtraumaacademy.com/ amazing_brain/lesson02/page01.html35
- 36. Triune Brain (Maclean) 3 parts: evolved responding to evolutionary need 36 Base (Reptilian brain) Hindbrain Oldest, FASTEST Brain Stem, physical survival, breathing, excretion, blood flow, temperature, other autonomic functions Emotional (Limbic system) Hippocampus, amygdala, hypothalamus. Seat of emotions Thinking (Neocortex) Newest SLOWEST cerebral cortex, forebrain Seat of reason ? ? ?Take a BET: Which part of their brain are they in?
- 37. Some Factors to consider in schools (just a taster for this mornings session) facilitating individual learning classrooms & classroom mangement thinking skills emotional intelligence internal working model sense of self (fragile) Explore Louise Bombers work for much good detail, strategies and practical advice
- 38. 38Louise Bomber
- 39. Differentiation: a concept, process or task is adapted in line with a child's ability, understanding and developmental stage • children with trauma become stuck developmentally (parts of ‘developmental needs wall’ missed) • They often don't move from immediate concrete present into world of symbolic and abstract terms (function at lower age) • you will need to ‘differentiate’ emotional, social and academic tasks that are symbolic or abstract in nature (fill in developmental gaps) Fragile sense of self
- 40. Differentiate by actively facilitating supportive scaffolding • engage the child's interest • simplify the task (bite size chunks) • solve the problems – ‘active presence’ anticipate when support required and intervene to avoid failure • model enthusiasm Fragile sense of self
- 41. Differentiate (Ref:Bomber) 1. the way we relate to the child • view their behaviour as communication 2. the language we use • be explicit, (think Autism strategies) 3. their emotional and social tasks and targets • think childs emotional and social location then position academic task appropriately Fragile sense of self
- 42. 42 How do kids learn? • when emotionally regulated • when feeling safe • when curious • when feeling supported and encouraged • when experiencing success • when they understand • when focused • in bite size chunks • when task is achievable and challenging
- 43. “Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents” - Dawson and Guare Planning Ability to create road map to reach goal or complete task. Ability to decide what is important and what to focus on Organisation Ability to arrange or place things according to a system Time manage- ment Allocation of time, recognition of deadlines, time frames and limits. Deciding on what is or is not urgent &/or important Working memory Ability to hold information in mind while performing complex tasks. Learn from past experiences. ie utilize past learning or bring old experiences to current situation. Future pace. Ability to project learnings and problem-solving strategies into the future. Meta- cognition See things from the outside. Ability to stand back and take bird’s eye view of self in current situation. Ability to observe how you solve problems. Thinking Skills 43
- 44. “Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents” Dawson and Guare Response Inhibition Ability to resist impulse to say or do something without thinking through the consequences. Capacity to think before you act. Self regulation of Affect Ability to manage emotions, control behaviour Task Initiation Ability to start task without undue procrastination Flexibility Ability to revise and change plans when obstacles, new information or mistakes occur. Adapt to changing conditions Goal Directed Persistence Capacity to follow through and complete task and not be diverted Emotional Skills / Behavioural regulators 44
- 45. Self awareness Knowing your emotions. Awareness of own feelings & ability to use them as a guide to better decision making. Self regulation Managing your own emotions Able to recover from emotional distress, manage our emotions, being conscientious and delay gratification Motivation Develop achievement and goal orientation, so frustrations and setbacks are put in perspective. Motivating yourself. Empathy Recognising and understanding other people’s emotions Awareness of what others are probably thinking or feeling Social skills Managing relationships – managing the emotions of others Interacting well with people in both close personal relationships and wider social networks Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions . It embraces two aspects of intelligence: ∆ Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses and behaviour ∆ Understanding others and their feelings. Emotional Intelligence : Daniel Goleman: 5 core domains Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations EI Framework: www.eiconsortium.org
- 46. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Esteem Needs Belonging Needs Safety Needs Physiological Needs Deficit Needs Self Actualisation Being Needs 46 Applies to children and adults
- 47. 47 KNOWN / COMFORT ZONE ?? DANGEROUS TERRITORY? Learning boundary RISKY NEW UNKNO W N
- 48. 48 How do kids learn/ or not? • when emotionally regulated hyperaroused • when feeling safe - hyper-vigilant • when curious - bored, disengaged • when feeling supported and encouraged shamed and criticised • when experiencing success failure (real, imagined or anticipated) • when they understand lost and confused • when focused distracted, hungry, tired • in bite size chunks overwhelmed • when task is achievable and challenging mistargetted goals
- 49. Eeerrr Subordination Conjunctions A WORD OR PHRASE WHICH CONNECTS AN EVENT OR ACTION TO A MOMENT IN TIME 49 when, since, as, after, before, until, while, once, as soon as 1.Before you go out to play, put your coat on 2.You can’t go cycling until after lunch. 3.As soon as you've finished your homework you can get a biscuit 4.As its raining you can watch TV, then turn it off when Gran arrives. 5.Since you didn't tidy your toys you cant play with your Xbox after tea requires mental manipulation Eeerrr Eeerrr Eeerrr
- 50. 50 1.Put your coat on. (show or help) …. Now you can go out to play. 2.First Lunch. Second cycling. 3.Lets do the homework together. 4.TV until 5.30 (when the big hand is on the 6). 5.Lets tidy your toys together. Actions Events + = specific sequence required Clear language & modelling
- 51. 51 To understand traumatised children whether adopted,fostered or in birth families, you must see beyond their presenting behaviour. Get deeply curious Run the trauma filter Be flexible and creative A problem well defined is a problem half solved
- 52. Traumatised Children: Their state #1 ∆ Attachment disorders ∆ Emotional dysregulation ∆ Hypervigilance ∆ Poor impulse control ∆ Developmental delay ∆ Multiple Sensory Triggers ∆ 7 Fs: Primitive brain ∆ Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fornicate, Flop, Feed, Fart ∆ Thinking skills ∆ Cause & Effect Thinking (Executive Functioning) ∆ Only the ‘now’: reflection, predictions, 52
- 53. ThinkTrauma What doesn’t work • Naming and Shaming (they already feel bad about themselves and think they are toxic) • Raised voice (echoes abuse) • Telling them it doesn't matter (eg if they don't have a photo of themselves as a baby). It does to them. • Tell them to “act their age” - they are - functionally not chronologically • Negative labelling • Long verbal instructions 53
- 54. REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER CHARACTERISTIC ”BEHAVIOUR” SYMPTOMS • need to be in control of events and other people in their lives • crazy lying • lack of conscience • food – store, hoard, sweets addiction (?sugar = love?) • inability to make or maintain eye contact • oddity in how they form relationships with other people – disinterested in others – overly affectionate in indiscriminate manner 54 failure to learn reciprocal interactions in early life Little or no opportunity for ATTUNEMENT
- 55. 55
- 56. What’s the functional age of this child? How can you help this child emotionally regulate? Is this trauma triggered behaviour? Need 0-1 Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed Need NeedNeed2-3 Need NeedNeed Need Need4-7 Need 8-12 13-18 18-25 Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need SENSORY TRAUMA TRIGGERS
- 57. “It takes a village to raise a child, a town to raise a challenging child and an entire city to raise a traumatised child.” Helen Oakwater 57 What do traumatised children need?
- 58. Bessel Van Der Kolk Developmental Trauma Disorder (Proposed in DSM 5) & much more www.traumacenter.org Bruce Perry: Free Online training courses The Amazing Human Brain and Human Development; Brilliant source for learning and reference www.childtraumacademy.com CTA 6 free online lessons Bruce Perry: Child trauma academy articles www.ChildTrauma.org Peter Levine: Somatic Experiencing Healing Trauma (thin book + CD) www.traumahealing.com Babette Rothschild, Pat Ogden, Dan Seigel trauma & body links Complex Trauma Task Force white paper www.NCTSnet.org NLP Trauma Processes, EFT, EMDR, The Brain from Top to Bottom http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/index.php “Trauma” Prof Gordon Turnbull (Lockerbie etc) Trauma: Sources, References & People 58
- 59. SOME BOOKS ∆ First Steps in Parenting the Child who Hurts: Archer ∆ Next Parenting the Child who Hurts: Caroline Archer ∆ A Childs Journey through Placement: Vera Fahlberg ∆ Building the Bonds of Attachment: Hughes ∆ Why Love matters: How affection shapes a baby’s brain: Sue Gerhardt ∆ What every Parent needs to know: Margot Sunderland ∆ The boy who was raised as a dog: Bruce Perry ∆ Trauma through a childs eyes: Peter Levine ∆ Attachment Trauma and Resilience: Kate Cairns ∆ Adoption Now (feature magazine) by Adoption UK ∆ Bubble Wrapped Children: Helen Oakwater 59
- 60. Contact details Downloadable articles, podcasts, blog, videos, responses to govt docs, links, newsletter subscription + 3 chapters Bubble Wrapped Children www.bubblewrappedchildren.co.uk www.helenoakwater.co.uk E: helen@helenoakwater.co.uk @HelenOakwater