How tough is it to meet girls online where you live? With online dating, you do have a bit wider net to work with (which is a creepy metaphor in a dating context), but most people tend to stick within their own proximity. With that in mind, here are the seven toughest cities for online dating. Now, that’s not the ‘best’ or the ‘worst’ cities, but rather, the toughest.

1. Hardest Cities For Dating Women Online
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Guys, as far as dating goes, your location is key. And
typically, you’re a buyer in a sellers market.
Forget that you make up two­thirds of the world’s mobile
dating users.
Or the fact that across the US, single young men (25 to 34)
outnumber single young females 115 to 100. So basically, for
every 100 single women, there are 115 eligible bachelors.
Those stats don’t affect you.

2. Because unless you’re jet­setting everyday, the entire US
isn’t in your dating pool. But rather, your own hometown
plays a bigger role in your dating success (or non­success).
Is it easy to meet single women? Are there even women to
meet? (Sorry Hanford­Corcoran, CA. According to the
census, there are 236 men for every 100 women.)
So, how tough is it to meet girls online where you live? With
online dating, you do have a bit wider net to work with
(which is a creepy metaphor in a dating context), but most
people tend to stick within their own proximity.
With that in mind, here are the seven toughest cities for
online dating. Now, that’s not the ‘best’ or the ‘worst’ cities,
but rather, the toughest.
CRITERIA
We looked at the percentage of single people in major metro
areas (which has more than 100,000 single adults age 25­34),
the ​gender ratio​ (note ­ Rocky Mount, NC has a winning

3. ratio of 72 single men for every 100 single ladies), the cost of
living, and the overall fitness level.
Why cost of living? In a study by the University of
Minnesota, they found that if men believe there's a ​scarcity
of women​, they are more likely to spend more and be more
impulsive. So, in a pricey town, it might be hard to compete
with wealthy guys who have more to spend.

4. #7 Los Angeles
​​
* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 119 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 66%
* Cost of Living: 18.7% above U.S. average
* Fitness ranking: 15th
* Online Dating: 3rd
Even though Match.com had ranked LA third in online
dating activity, from strictly a guy’s point of view ­ it’s no
walk on the beach (pun intended).

5.
Some reports put the gender gap at 40,000 more single men.
Add to that the cost of living and the huge swing in incomes,
and you can see how hard it can be for regular guys to meet
single women.
Large metro areas are great for some things (and in LA’s
case having the beach and perfect weather as they say
doesn’t suck), but having those larger numbers can make
online dating harder. It’s been studied that when there are
large groups of people to choose from, we’re ​more likely to
use physical characteristics​ like height and weight rather than
deeper and more meaningful attributes to determine our
mates.
RELEVANT TO YOU
Attracting women in a crowded city can be tough. So instead
­ become small again. As in, find ways to go from being lost
in a sea of people to a more manageable pond.
If you’re not currently taking workout classes or yoga, those
would be a great place to start. The odds will definitely be in

6. your favor and you’ll feel great afterwards,​ ​just don't be the
creepy guy​.
If yoga isn’t your thing, think about your passions and then
go do them. Sign up for a class or join a club. You’ll have an
instant connection because of your shared interests. Even if
you’re into weird stuff ­ go for it. Guaranteed that club
already exists. And if it doesn’t exist ­ start it. Having the
social proof of being the leader and the one people look to
for answers is also very attractive.

7. #6 Washington DC
​​
* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 107 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 60%
* Cost of living: 24.3% above U.S. average
* Fitness ranking: 6th
* Online Dating usage: 5th
Dating in this political city can be more competitive than
Frank Underwood.

8. In order to meet single women, DC guys have to compete
with ambitious and idealistic grads as well as older savvy
dating veterans (DC is in the top 10 for millionaire
households per capita). And like Los Angeles, ambition and
charm come easy to these guys. Sometimes more so with just
an ambition, but still. It’s been said power is the ultimate
aphrodisiac.
But besides just the competition, guys have to be on their
toes with these smart and sophisticated DC women. With
politics as the go­to first date topic, guys have to be
knowledgeable about a wide assortment of topics and
subjects.
RELEVANT TO YOU
What if you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re
unfamiliar with a particular topic?
There are simple sleight of hand techniques that we can all
apply when we ​need to appear knowledgeable
(Note ­ fake laughing at jokes you don’t understand isn’t a
recommended techniques).

9. Basically, stick to small bits of information that you’re
confident in, then deftly guide the conversation towards other
(related) topics that you’re more familiar with and feel more
comfortable discussing.
#5 San Francisco
​​
* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 116 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 64%
* Cost of living: 48.8% above U.S. average
* Fitness ranking: 2nd

10. * Online Dating usage: #NA
With the highest rates of L.G.B.T. residents, San Francisco is
also one of the toughest cities for single men looking to meet
single women. For starters, everyone here is fit. Well,
‘everyone’ is pretty broad, but it is ranked by Men’s Health
as the number two fittest city (behind Portland) with a
reported 45% of residents having a healthy body weight, and
nearly 31% reported eating their veggies five time a day. So
fit­wise, guys have to work hard to keep up with the joneses
so to speak.
But that analogy really comes into play with the fact that San
Francisco is rated as the ​third most expensive city in the US​.
According to DataQuick, the ​median home price​ in this
waterfront metropolis is now at (cue up Dr. Evil
impression…) one­million dollars. That's about three times
the national average, with rent for a typical two­bedroom,
two­bathroom apartment going for close to $3,000 per
month.
RELEVANT TO YOU

11. So, one of your dating questions might be ­ how do you date
successfully on a tight budget?
Plan and research.
Fun and interesting dates don’t have to be expensive and
with a little bit of googling, you can quickly find weekly
events and activities that are geared toward the budget
conscious.
Bringing it back to San ​Francisco​, there are sites like
http://sf.funcheap.com/,​ which showcase free festivals,
outdoor concerts, museum galleries, etc. You’ll get points for
originality and not doing the same dinner/drinks/movie that
every other guy is doing.
If you’re ever struggling for date ideas on the cheap, here's a
list of ​50 inexpensive things you two can do​.

12. #4 Seattle
​​
​* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 121 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 58%
* Cost of living: 20.8% above national average
* Fitness ranking: 3rd
* Online Dating usage: #NA
The town that inspired the ​90's movie Singles​ is still tough
for Seattle men (even without a classic soundtrack).

13. With about 20,000 more single men than women, and a
slightly lower percentage of available singles then the above
cities, Seattle’s dating challenge is nothing to laugh at.
Which is also contributing to their challenges.
Whether it’s the weather, or high levels of educated
intellectuals, or the civic ​mindedness​, but Seattle guys’
have a reputation for no sense of humor. Sorry Seattle ­ but
you do have great coffee and donuts to compensate.
RELEVANT TO YOU
No one likes a stick in the mud, a fuddy­duddy, or a
buzz­kill. The best way to counteract those nasty afflictions ­
simply smile more. ​Smiling provides a whole host of
benefits​, which makes us feel better and appear more
approachable/attractive.
In addition to smiling, it’s also advised to embrace your own
quirks and showcase your sense of humor (instead of
hoarding it just for friends and family).

14. In fact, there’s research that show a ​sense of humor can
attract women​. The theory states that women are “genetically
hardwired to find a sense of ​humor ​attractive.”
Women like to date men who make them chuckle due to
evolutionary differences, claim scientists.
They found that women's brains show greater activity than
men's in reward­related regions in response to ​humor​.

15. #3 Denver
​​
* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 121 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 56%
* Cost of Living: 6.5% above U.S. average
* Fitness ranking: 4th
* Online Dating usage: 7th
Also “high” on this list is the Mile High City (and yes,
marijuana is legal to buy here as well as fodder for overused
and terrible puns).

16.
Nicknamed “Menver” by locales, Denver has a ratio of 121
males for every 100 females. And according to the dating
app ‘Are You Interested?’ male users in Denver outnumber
women 6 to 1.
But besides the obvious competition, what makes Denver a
tough city to meet women online? The city itself. (Well,
technically Colorado as a whole, but you get the idea)
With its gorgeous snow covered mountains and immensely
popular mountain biking trails, Colorado draws a large
number of transplants who spend most of their time
outdoors. Which is great ­ unless you don’t do those things.
So, with a large portion of female profiles touting their love
of extreme sports, what’s a city­dwelling guy supposed to do
to get their attention?
In short ­ learn.
RELEVANT TO YOU

17. One of the best ways to meet females online is to find out
what they’re interested in and then go out and learn it.
According to Josh Kaufman, author of The First 20 Hours,
you can literally learn anything ­ fast.
Kaufman states that all you need to go from clueless to
pretty­darn­good is just 20 hours of focused practice.
First you’ll need to break the thing down to its core, and
practice that first. Basically the Pareto principle. So if you
wanted to learn a new language learn the most common
words (2,000 or so) and you'll be able to converse with
nearly anyone.
You’ll want to learn enough that you’re aware of making
mistakes and are able to fix them. Then before practicing for
at least 20 hours, you’ll want to remove anything that
distracts you from focusing on the skill you want to learn.
Adding things to our busy schedule sounds impossible, but
Kaufman breaks down the 20 hours to just 40 minutes a day
for 30 days.

18. #2 San Diego
​​
* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 129 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 58%
* Cost of Living: 22.8% above U.S. average
* Fitness ranking: 8th
* Online Dating usage: 7th
With an ​average yearly temperature of 70.5 F​, seventy miles
of beaches, it’s not too much of a stretch to say San Diego is
pretty awesome.

19.
But like most things, there’s a catch.
The cost of living in a beach town can be high. And it’s more
than just financial costs (though houses are about double the
national average). There’s also the need/want pressure of
having a beach ready body, which can come at the expense
of esteem and self­confidence.
That’s not to say that the P90x/T25­ers are the only ones
with a successful social life, but rather, the feeling of not
being worthy to date can be overpowering and discourage
guys from even trying to date someone.
RELEVANT TO YOU
We wrote a whole post about being confident in yourself and
embracing who you are, but there is something to be said
about being the best you, and being the person who your
dream girl would naturally date.
Whether it’s eating better or exercising more, the best way to
get the results you want is to focus on just one area, rather
than ten things at once.

20.
So whether your goal is to eat less calories a day, or exercise
more consistently, or whatever you’d like to achieve, they
key is to start small, and break your goal down into a small
daily habit.
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy is a great book that
talks about big results from small consistent steps. There’s
also a great article at Nerd Fitness that breaks down ​starting
new healthy habits​.

21. #1 San Jose
​​
* For Every 100 Unmarried Women: 141 Unmarried Men
* Singles 25 to 34: 57%
* Cost of Living: 48.32% above U.S. average
* Fitness ranking: 11th
* Online Dating usage: #NA
In the heart of Silicon Valley, where Google and Apple call
home, these smarty­pants guys (many who are millionaires

22. with 50,000 households) have their work cut out for them.
Romantically speaking.
In San Jose, there are ​141 single guys for every 100 single
ladies. ​And it’s even worse when you look at the number of
employed women; for every 100 single guys there are 55
single & employed women.
Couple this with the high cost of living, and San Jose is
definitely the toughest metro city to meet girls online.
RELEVANT TO YOU
If the odds of meeting a (quality) woman is stacked against
you, what can you do to break out from the crowd and meet
women online?
Be bold.
You might be thinking, be bold? What does that even mean?
Be bold as in, don’t shy away from the most attractive
women you come across online, instead, seek them out.

23. Some (most?) men find beautiful women intimidating. So,
when given the choice between a cute girl and a gorgeous
one, guys often opt for the safe option (the one they feel they
have a better shot with) rather than possibly risk rejection.
With the classic defeatist rational ‘she’s out of my league,’
most guys simply never try (or never without alcohol). And
that’s why you always should ­ because no one else is.
In a counter intuitive move, one of the best way to stand out
in a competitive market and actually meet women online
(and offline) is to chat up the most attractive and alluring
females you come across.
What attracts women more than anything else? Confidence.
There's no one in the world like you. No one who thinks like
you, or experiences the world like you. Embrace that ­­ go
after who you want..
As the Latin proverb states ­ Fortuna Audaces Iuvat .
Translation: ​Fortune Favors the Bold.

24.
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