One of the biggest challenges in conflict situations is to effectively control emotion. Without adequate control over emotions, it is probable that the situation will be poorly managed. This session considers a series of practical ways to think rationally, in a calm and considered way to get the best result from a conflict.

1. Dr Tim Baker
tim@winnersatwork.com.au
www.winnersatwork.com.au
Managing Emotion in
Conflict Situations

2. Unit 1—The Five Approaches to
Dealing with Conflict
Unit 2—Understanding People
& their Personalities
Unit 3—Managing Emotion in
Conflict Situations
Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not
Aggressive or Passive
Unit 5—Essential
Communication Skills for
Conflict Resolution
Unit 6—Giving & Receiving
Constructive Criticism

3. Understanding
stress
Self-regulation
Strategies to
reduce stress

4. Key points about
stress …
• Stress is manufactured in the mind
• Stress means different things to different
people
• What stresses some people challenges others

5. Necessary stress
5
Athletic achievement Tuning a violin

6. Yerkes-Dodson Law
Performancearousal
High
Low
Low
(distress)
Optimum
(eustress)
High
(distress)
Stress level
Boredom from
understimulation
Optimum
stress load
Conditions
perceived
as stressful
Distress from
overstimulation

7. Reactions
7
Excess stress › Poor performance
› Dysfunctional behaviour
› Health problems
› High performance
› Job satisfaction
› Involvement
› Optimum performance
› Poor performance
› Dysfunctional behaviour
› Health problems
Too little stress
Moderate stress
Too little or too much stress
can be harmful.

8. What is Self-Regulation?
Self-regulation is the ability to
monitor and control our own
behaviour, emotions, or
thoughts, altering them in
response to the demands of the
situation.

9. The Amygdala Hijack
• When we feel threatened,
thinking can become fast and
reactive
• The “thinking” part of the brain
shuts down
• We become reactive (fight or
flight) and tunnel visioned
• EI competencies are diminished
(self-awareness, self-regulation,
empathy etc.)
• BEWARE THE AMYGDALA HIJACK!

10. Stress is a Transaction
(demands/resources)
• Stress is a transaction
between a stimulus and a
response (Lazarus & Folkman,
1987)
• The transaction revolves
around the appraisal of a
“potential stressor” based on
two questions:
• Is it a threat to me?
• Can I cope?

11. The 3 lenses
1. Reverse lens
What would the other person
in this conflict say & in what
ways might it be true?
2. Long lens
How will I most likely view
this situation in 6 months?
3. Wide lens
Regardless of outcome, how
can I grow and learn from this?
Ref: Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time

12. The
importance
of
reframing
to manage
stress
• Reframing is seeing the current situation from a different
perspective, which can alter the way we think about a
stressor.
• Reframing is helping you or another person to more
constructively move on from a situation in which you or the
other person feels stuck, overwhelmed or confused.

13. A happy brain or a
negative brain?
Practice makes
perfect!

14. Positive Reframing is essential to a
growth mindset

15. Study an emotion
in retrospect
1. What makes you angry?
2. How do you typically react
when you are angry?
3. What are you telling yourself
when you are angry?
4. What personal values are being
typically violated when you get
angry?
5. How long does it take you to
‘calm down’.

16. Be Relaxed & Alert not Tense &
Unprepared

17. Your homework
Practice the strategies for reducing
stress.

18. Unit 1—The Five Approaches to
Dealing with Conflict
Unit 2—Understanding People
& their Personalities
Unit 3—Managing Emotion in
Conflict Situations
Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not
Aggressive or Passive
Unit 5—Essential
Communication Skills for
Conflict Resolution
Unit 6—Giving & Receiving
Constructive Criticism