Script evaluation

1. EVALUATION
When evaluating my final script, I believe I have met the requirements set in Film4’s brief in
regard to client’s and audience’s interest and meeting essentials made clear for the product
and its purpose in the context of the proposal and finished result. Film4’s ethos is that of
change and inclusivity that will reflect all audiences in a positive and authentic light that will
allow personal alignment and connections to characters and narratives being presented on
screen. When considering this, I found it crucial to tell a story that is often neglected in the
romance genre and when tackled is usually done so through independent filmmakers that
have a lack of support from an online/ terrestrial film service such as film 4. I believe the
ideas and narrative I formed can be classed as an original concept though drawing
influences from tragic romances such as (Truly, Madly, Deeply (1990) and Ghost (1990) to
communicate a narrative of a formula that has worked in the past; therefore, I aimed to
implement elements of dramatic flair into relationships to make it more engaging for
viewers whilst applying elements of queer cinema to give a more nuanced perspective of
the subgenre that hasn’t been seen before and allowing further commentary on how young
adults processes their queerness in today’s society. I tried through a more informal use of
language to more so develop a thought provoking and emotionally charged script that
expresses the transformative journey of self-acceptance and expression when each
character uncovering their flaws within themselves and relationships around them and
resolving them by the end of the flick. a brief outline of the narrative (that I explored more
thoroughly in the proposal) is as follows; the narrative (unfolding within a three act
narrative through a non-chronological order- again elements adopted from the
requirements set in the brief) follows two women (Terry and May) learning to love both
each other and themselves after one has mysteriously died weeks prior, the main conflict
arising with the involvement of a third party (Paul) as May uses him as a way of making
Terry jealous before her ultimate demise- a more metaphorical reflection of May’s inner
conflict (the foundation of the film) of dealing with her internalized homophobia and ending
coming to terms with her sexuality, learning to have love for herself before loving someone
else. Though the film mainly follows may, there’s a secondary element of conflict with the
character of Terry, again, learning to be less dependent on others and again learning to
respect and love herself before giving all her love and respect to someone else. The film
concludes on a bittersweet note, Terry leaving, content with her position in the afterlife, her
future ambiguous and May embracing who she is, accepting her sexuality and moving on
with a new woman, though now loving Terry more than ever. To ensure a true reflection of
the film’s ideologies and outline of the general plot.
I zoomed in on the opening scene as it perfectly encapsulates the dominant themes of
internalized and externalized conflict between not only terry and may but the involvement of
Paul- more so helping to represent a wider spectrum of genders and ethnicities that mass
audiences are looking to see/ relate to. I hope to have written the opening segment in a way
that unfolds seamlessly, setting up the generally consensus for the pair’s present relationship
and the personal growth to come. The location of a community centre for the reception for a

2. funeral helps set the stage for the characters to interact in a way that keeps audiences on the
edge of their set, the awkward dialogue and framing of the characters help adding to a thick
tension that will entice viewers- following requirements set in the brief- revealing only at the
end of the segment that the reception is for Terry as an effective twist (another point
extracted from the clients brief) to kick start the film’s plot, utilizing the inciting incident (of
terry’s death) at the beginning and working our way back. Though the opening segment only
reflects the first 6- 10 minutes of screentime (being at least 10 pages long *a minute per page)
the character development to come is set up almost instantly as we see May hesitantly
neglect the situation she’s in (accompanied by Paul) to leave with Terry’s ghost and talk things
through- as we work backwards we uncover this is a topic she looks to keep avoiding (we even
seen this as she runs out the centre away from terry) but by the end of the scene is inviting
Terry’s apparition to get a drink at an openly queer space, coming face to face with her
internally buried sexuality. The overall purpose of the first scene was to capture the attention
of the audience and successfully sustain their interest, utilizing genre codes and conventions
through the stereotypical drama that occurs in intense romances via the claustrophobic
setting of the one roomed hall filled with older and more judgmental background characters,
onlooking a messy dynamic between Paul, May and the Ghost of Terry, haunting and
unintentionally Taunting May whilst more so offering the audience twist on said conventions
of dramatic flair by having Terry being dead yet still being able to commune with and interact
with May in a way that allows the pair to bounce off one another and spark the beginning to
each of their own’s personal arks of self-discovery. essential to create a feeling of diversity
within the first scenes, so that audiences can feel represented.
Overall, I believe I have designed a script and narrative that is appropriate for film4 that is
innovative enough to fit their ethos with the inclusion of a range of genders, sexualities,
races and ages that allows a wider net to be casted on relatability and alignment with those
in the audience. All minorities have more so been reflected in a way that is void of harmful
stereotypes that could impact public opinion by showing that not everyone is the same;
both Terry and May’s parents are homophobic showing that no matter if you are black or
white, hate can come in all shapes and sizes but more importantly, not matter what your
race, age or gender is, love can be universally shared and appreciated. The themes and
overall plot consisting of queer relationships and struggles helps market the film to a
younger targeted demographic with a more progressive and positive reflection of modern
queer people of today in a way that isn’t overall camp or stereotypical that usually may
impact the overall message of self-love and expression explored in the past. It takes darker
and more tragic elements of what it means to be queer in modern Britain that brings to light
changes and strives that need to be made and overall encourages viewers of both straight
and queer audiences to self-reflect and be more considerate to those around them. Though
the film follows a bleak and sexually frustrated narrative/ characters, the film isn’t out
rightly graphic with any forms of violence of sexual imagery, rather implying those elements
than presenting them allowing for the briefed 15 certificate to be awarded to the film. The
script does introduce mostly all prominent characters within the first 10 pages, setting up
the general conflict of the film in a way that instantly engages audiences through a messy
and dramatic exchange of dialogue and blocking of the characters in a tight fit location. I
believe more so the film is pushing boundaries through a unique portrayal of an already

3. established trope by collecting conventions littered throughout multiple romance films and
dismantling and calling out their flawed approaches through the eyes of two queer women
that are often overlooked or sexualised by mainstream media- the script looks to reclaim
some of that power for queer women in an industry often dominated by a patriarchal lens.
The use of the twist being introduced so early on helps not only engage audiences in a quick
effective way but also allows room to explore themes and a more character driven story in
the subsequent run time rather than adjusting character driven motifs in the service of an
action-packed narrative. I believe the script fits industry standards via the inclusive cast and
story presented whilst having an element of tragedy and artistic influences with framing and
character’s costume design that sells an indie and alternative aesthetic often seen
reoccurring in their catalogue. The only change had to be made when developing this script
in order to completely fit the clients brief is the inclusion of the character ‘Paul’ to reflect a
wider representation of gender within the film, having the narrative originally follow only
women and trans focused characters. I believe the overall script meets legal and ethical
standards through a positive and non-stereotypical representation of all ages, genders and
ethnicities reflected through the characters, having set in place a approach to tackling legal
issues such as copyright with the use of licensed songs by either asking permission or buying
the rights to use for the use of sampling within the script ( Al Green’s ‘Lets stay together’
playing us into the film). When reviewing the final script, I believe there was very few script
errors to edit in order to fit the briefed standard set by Film4; the only reoccurring mistake
being showing rather telling in regard to the character’s internalised conflicts- rather than
writing how their feelings, how are they expressing this feeling.
Preproduction to a certain extent more so helped influence physically formatting and
writing up the script in regard to technical elements of a script, e.g. where the slugline
should sit, the positioning of dialogue and characters names (as well as the capitalisation of
certain words such as characters names, sounds and props). The pre-production research
helped immensely when applying knowledge to the final product meeting industry
standard.
The conclude, I believe that my script meets the requirements set in the brief successfully
whilst effectively exploring themes of self-discovery and self-love within a well structured
plot, compelling characters and thoughtful and relatable dialogue that has potential to
resonate with aud9iences and leave a lasting impression. With some minor tweaks and
attention to the script format and language conventions, I believe my script overall has been
successful in meeting film4’s standards.