To explore the foundations of personal transformation and change and how the 7 aspects of self can either enable or disempower us in our quest to change our behaviour to achieve the work and life results we desire
• Can you change someone?
• Why sustainable change is so hard
• What are the barriers and motivators for change
• The 7 aspects of self that impact our ability to change
• The personal transformation cycle
• The personal transformation pyramid
• Coaching tools for change
• Guidelines for sustainable change
2. Coaching to change behaviour and create
personal empowerment and transformation
Debbie Craig, MD: Catalyst Consulting and World Alive
• Can you change someone?
• Why sustainable change is so hard
• What are the barriers and motivators for change
• The 7 aspects of self that impact our ability to change
• The personal transformation cycle
• The personal transformation pyramid
• Coaching tools for change
• Guidelines for sustainable change
5. egotistical (I know best)
procrastination (tomorrow is another day)
poor time and priority management (I haven’t had
time)
workaholic (just one more e.mail)
healthy lifestyle (I’ll start next month/year)
lack of empathy (who cares?)
lack of awareness (what did I do?)
defensiveness (it wasn’t me)
8. Barriers and Motivators for change
• Fear of failure
• Fear of loss of credibility/image
• Fear of uncertainty
• Fear of not coping
• Fear of incompetence
• Fear of losing what you have
• Fear of being found out
Fears
• Denial
• Excuses
• Avoiding feedback
• Ego
• Procrastination
• Aggression
• Avoidance/withdrawal
• Blame/criticism
Coping mechanisms
Power – wealth, success, prestige, power, freedom, personal power
Achievement – tick list, contribution, purpose, recognition, self-actualisation
Affiliation – acceptance, belonging, love, health
Motivators
What’s
the
pay-off?
9. 7 Dynamics if you ask people to do
something different
• People will feel awkward, ill-at-ease and self
conscious
• People will think first about what they must give up
• People will feel alone even if everyone is going
through the change
• People can handle only so much change
• People are at different levels of readiness for change
• People will be concerned that they don’t have
enough resources
• If you take the pressure off people will revert back to
old behaviour
Real change can be perceived as painful
Active
Emotional
Response
Passive
Time
ReceiveShock
Unexpected
news
Depression
Disbelief
Anger
Wishing to change
the past
Acceptance
Hope
Positive
Activity
10. Understanding the language of the mind
& the power of the subconscious
External Event
2
million
bits/sec
134
bits/sec
FILTERS/
PROGRAMMES
Delete
Distort
Generalize
Paradigms
Language
Memories
Decisions
Values
Beliefs
Attitudes
Your interpretation of
events
Your interpretation of
the world
Your PARADIGM
11. Programs
• 0-4 years old - 50% of our thinking is stamped in our brain
• 4-8 years old - 30% “ “
• 8-18 years old - 15% “ “
95% of programs is
stamped in our heads
13. When the conscious and sub-conscious work together,
the outcome becomes a reality
Rational
Logical
Thinker/analyzer
Words & numbers
Willpower (effort)
Get’s bored and tired easily
Conscious
The power to think
Emotional
Conceptual
Creator/imaginator
Pictures & symbols
Personal power (effortless)
Limitless energy
All memory
All Beliefs/instincts/habits
Runs the body
Sub-Conscious
The power to do
Conscious/Subconscious
14. Core Wounds
• We all have 5 primary wounds that stimulate intense emotional responses based
on the fear and pain of it happening again
FEAR
Rejection
Abandonment
Humiliation
Betrayal
Injustice
Birth
Primary
school
Finish
school
First Job
Marriage / Family
Leadership
Career moves
Childhood
University
Appointed to
Manager
Student days…
17. How do we break the cycle?
Feel
“good”
Event Interpre
-tation
Option A
Perception
of threat
Fight or flight
Adrenaline
Subconscious
reaction
NO CHOICE
Option B
Perception
of no threat
Reflect , analyse,
choose before act
Conscious
response
CHOICES
?
VICTIM
VICTOR
18. Processing emotions
• What is the emotion trying to tell me?
• Is it a boundary issue?
• Is it an expectation issue?
• Is it a difference in opinion, belief, value, approach, intent?
• Is it affecting my self-esteem/self-image?
• Is it an assumption or an incorrect belief – about myself/another?
• WHAT HAS TO CHANGE?
e-motion = energy in motion
19. It is not what
happens to us
that defines us ...
but how we
choose to
respond to what
happens
21. Changing behaviour – coaching tool
Physical
Behaviour
Thoughts and
feelings
Experience
Talents
Personality
Values & beliefs
Results
Behaviour
Feelings
Thoughts
Beliefs
Decisions
Interpretation
Experiences
What result would you like to change?
What is the specific behaviour that is leading to those
results?
What feelings might be leading to those behaviours?
What thoughts might be leading to those feelings?
What beliefs might be leading to those thoughts?
What decision did you make about yourself, others or the
situation that might be leading to those beliefs?
What assumptions did you make about current or previous
experiences that led to such decisions?
What assumptions, beliefs, decision could be more useful
to achieve the results you want?
What thoughts, feelings, behaviours would this results in?
How would this impact on your results in future?
23. Power of the
Spirit (SQ)
Purpose, Vision, Values and
goals
Aligning body, emotions,
mind, spirit
Intuition and inspiration
Power of the
Emotions (EQ)
E-motion=energy in motion
Letting go baggage
Emotional intelligence
Working with the Inner child
Power of the
Mind (IQ)
Power of subconscious, thoughts
and words
Victim to victor
Power of Choice
Achieving goals
PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT
Power of the Physical
(PQ)
Purpose of the body
Body messages
Harnessing energy
Health and balance
- 23 -(c) World Alive 2010
Aware
Conscious
response
Unaware
Unconscious
response
Choices No Choice
Optimised Limited
Experiences
VICTOR VICTIM
Results
Behaviour
Feelings
Thoughts
Beliefs
Decisions
Interpretation