2. Training Objectives
By the end of this training, we hope that you will
have a clear understanding of:
- Your enhanced mentoring role
- What it means to be an advocate
- Ways that you can support your Little
- The importance of boundaries
3. What is a mentor?
A Mentor is… A Mentor is not…
4. What is a mentor?
A Mentor is… A Mentor is not a…
-A friend and support
-Consistent and
dependable
-Focused on fun
-Able to set limits
-Aware of their Little’s
safety and well-being
-Substitute parent
-Babysitter
-Financial Support
-Taxi Service
-Therapist
-Peer
5. Definition of an Advocate
An advocate is someone who takes action to
help people say what they want to say, who
helps others secure their rights, helps to
obtain needed services, works in partnership
with others, and empowers others to help
themselves.
6. For example, advocate
mentors can:
Identify and engage in supporting strengths of their
little and empower them to recognize their strengths
and overcome their challenges.
Partner with Little’s family and school.
Find activities in the community to support their
Little’s strengths.
Assist their Little’s family in navigating school, court,
and/or entitlement programs.
7. Boundaries
Spending Money
Meeting more frequently than program
guidelines recommend
Sharing too much personal information, too
soon
Solving all your Little’s problems
8. Strengths-Based Approach
Focus on Little’s talents or special skills
Encouraging interests
Understanding the 40 Developmental Assets
List of developmental assets
9. Working as a team- with your Little
Learn about your Little’s interests
Talk about your Little’s goals and dreams
Ask your Little if they are comfortable with you
helping them
Come up with action steps together
Reflect on your experiences together
10. Working as a Team- with Parents
- Matches are a partnership between the Big,
Little, Parent and agency
- Each partnership will look different
- Parents are the experts on their child
- Need to coordinate with parents
- Develop communication pattern that works
for you
11. Working as a team- with Bigs
All matches have an assigned match support
specialist
Connect you with community resources and
programs
Let you know about upcoming activities
Partner for problem solving, venting, etc
Provide quarterly trainings and networking
opportunities
12. What does Advocacy Look Like?
Advocacy takes many forms, in many
different settings.
Schools
Community
Your work, school, etc.
Courts
Human Services
13. Advocacy In Schools
Checking in on how things are going
Discussing importance of attendance
Homework help
Contact with teachers
Helping in the classroom
Parent/Teacher conferences
IEPs and 504 Plans
Disciplinary hearings
14. Advocacy in the Community
Exploring businesses, festivals
Targeting your Little’s interests
Connecting with colleges and universities
Community service and volunteerism
Connecting with local youth or civic organizations
Utilizing community agencies and services
15. Advocacy in Your Work/School
Talking about careers/paths of study
Cheering favorite college sports teams
Bring your Little to Work or School
Exploring career interests
16. Advocacy in the Courts
Researching information about child and family
rights
Discussing or debriefing contact with legal system
Contact with court officer
Acting as a reference
Attending a court date with the family or child
17. Advocacy in the Human Service
System
Researching community programs
Connecting families to local resources
Researching steps on obtaining services
Discuss and help families understand programs,
eligibility and requirements
Offering to assist with paperwork
19. Chaz and Bob
Chaz and Bob have been matched together for two years. Last summer was
hard for Bob; he had a couple suspensions at the end of eighth grade and in
May he was ticketed for becoming aggressive with a police officer when
CPS removed his little sister from the home.
When Chaz found out what was going on, he called his Match Support
Specialist. The Match Support Specialist tracked down the phone number of
the Juvenile Court Officer and Bob’s court date. Chaz spoke with the court
officer and decided that he wanted to attend Bob’s court date so that Bob
had moral support at the hearing. When the Juvenile Court Officer read his
report, he mentioned Bob’s strong friendship with Chad as a great strength.
Based on the report, the judge waived the community service component of
Bob’s probation.
That fall, Bob’s mom was able to get him into a new, high performing school
district. Bob tried out as a freshman, but made the varsity football team and
broke the school’s 40-yard record. Chaz met with Bob before the season
started, and they decided that Chaz would take video of Bob’s games to be
used for college recruitment. Chaz and Bob are planning to visit colleges
together next year.
21. What would you do?
Six months into your match, you find out that
your Little loves to write poetry, but is shy
about sharing her writing. One day over
lunch, she tells you that she really wants to
be a writer when she grows up, but doesn't
think she will be able to because her family
can’t afford to send her to college.
22. What would you do?
Whenever you ask your Little Brother how
school is going, he just says, “Fine.” The day
before your next visit, your Little’s mom gives
you a call to let you know that he is home
suspended for getting into a fight, and just
found out that he is failing his math class. His
mom says that she does not know what to do
with him now that he home alone, all day.
23. Review
Your role is to be a mentor first.
You have a special opportunity to advocate
on behalf of your Little
The agency is here to support you and
provide additional training
Boundaries will help ensure match success
Reach out to your Match Support Specialist
with questions.
24. Next steps
Once you have completed your answer
guide, email or fax it back to the agency staff
that sent it to you
Agency staff will follow up with you about
setting up a match meeting, if you have not
yet met your Little
Agency staff will follow up with you as
quarterly trainings become available
25. Additional Questions
Regarding this Training or
BBBS Michigan Capital Region:
Alicia Barajas
Alicia.Barajas@bbbsmcr.org
517-372-0160
BBBS Metro Detroit:
Beth O’Connor
Beth.OConnor@bbbsdetroit.org
313-309-9229
Editor's Notes
Welcome to the online training as part of your mentoring enhancement. We know that you have already completed several hours of online and in-person training. That training was designed to prepare you as a mentor in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. However, since you have also been selected as part of the study of enhanced mentoring, we have created this additional one hour of training so you have a good idea of how your role is enhanced, and how so much of what you have learned already will stay the same.
My name is Alicia and I am a staff member at Big Brothers Big Sisters Michigan Capital Region. This enhancement program is a collaboration between two Big Brothers Big Sisters agencies- Big Brothers Big Sisters Metro Detroit and Michigan Capital Region. Over the last year, we have been working together to design the enhancements you will be learning more about. Our hope is that, by the end of this online training, we have met the following objectives: You understand what is expected of you as part of the mentoring enhancement project. You have a clear idea of what it means to take on an advocacy, or teaching, function in your match. You can identify settings or ways that you can incorporate the advocacy function. You understand the importance of boundaries in the match. Some of the mentors being matched in this program are completing this training in-person. We understand that scheduling and availability conflicts prevent you from meeting in a group setting, but we think it ’s important that you don’t miss out on the interaction and reflection that can make a training more meaningful. In order to simulate this experience, you have an answer guide that we will be referring to throughout the presentation. We ask that you record your ideas, thought or questions on this form. When you have completed the training, please email or fax the guide back to agency staff. This will let us know that you have completed the training, and we will be able to address any follow up questions you may have.
First, let ’s think back to the online training you have already completed. I would like to review the role of a mentor, or “Big”, in our program. On the answer guide, please take a minute to fill what you recall about the role of a mentor. When you have finished writing down your answers, go ahead and move to the next slide.
Here are some of the things that a mentor is and is not. Your answers might be the same as what we have listed, you might be missing some of what we have listed, or you might have come up with answers that are different that we have put in the chart. That ’s okay. What is important about this exercise is that you understand that your role is first and foremost to be a mentor, and you do not have to be everything to your Little. If you still have questions about your role as a mentor, please let agency staff know. We would love to take the time to clear up any questions you might have about what it means to be a Big. Now, you are in the enhanced program. Even as you take on a slightly advanced role, the characteristics above are still true. There will just be an additional way that we plan to support you in supporting your Little. In your enhanced role, we aim to help you to advocate on behalf of your Little. We have developed what this means in greater detail on the next slide.
Here is the definition of an advocate that we will be using in our program. Advocate can be a scary word because there are so many meanings of the word. We do not expect to you be lobbying at the state capital or at school board meetings. We see this as the little, everyday things that you can do to help your Little. We have found over time that many mentors do this naturally, without additional training or being asked to do so. Our hope is that by training you, you will be prepared to advocate on behalf of your mentee. In your role as an advocate mentor, we want to emphasize the unique position you are in as a mentor to be a resource and support for your Little. This can take a lot of forms, but we imagine that most often you will be teaching your Little how to stand up for themselves and their rights, partnering with parents and schools, or helping to find additional services or opportunities that could be of benefit. Keep in mind that you are not alone in this, Big Brothers Big Sisters will serve as a strong support and resource to you as you fulfill your role in the life of your Little. On the next slide, we get into what this could look like.
Just as there is no one right way to be a mentor, there is not one single way for you to take on an advocacy role with your Little. In your match, we know that it can take time to get to know your Little, their family and their needs. Our hope is that as you get to know them, you lean on the agency to help you, help them. This could take many forms and shapes, and all of them are correct as long as you are staying within your role as a mentor.
It ’s important to remember that, even as you become an advocate for your Little, you maintain good boundaries. Boundaries are important because they reinforce the expectations and role that you are taking in the life of your Little. Boundaries are not always easy to maintain, because sometimes we want to do more for those people we care about. We have found that matches are stronger when boundaries are strong. Some ways that you might be able to establish and maintain boundaries are: Spending Money: this could include buying gifts, buying essential items that you might see your Little needs, or being asked by the family to help with an electric bill Meeting Frequently: Our guidelines recommend that you are getting together 2-4 times a month. You and your little might get along great, and want to get together more. We recommend that you stay within this guideline because it can be hard to maintain meeting more frequently, and because it could cause you to become over involved. Sharing personal information- We know that in order to establish a friendship, you need to share information to get to know each other. Be mindful of what you are showing and the appropriateness of content. You might not want to share very personal details right away. Intervening- There is not an expectation that you will solve your Little ’s problems for them. However, you can be a great resource by putting the family in touch with programs and agencies in the community that can be of help. Balancing boundaries and advocacy is not always easy. We know that as we ask you to support and empower your little, it may be hard to maintain these boundaries. We don ’t want you to feel over extended or like you have to fix everything that might come up for your Little. For example, if your Little’s family was facing a shut-off notice, it’s not your job to pay the bill. However, you could advocate on behalf of the family by connecting them with a community program that can provide funding. Just as you have the opportunity to be a resource for your Little ’s family, your Big Brothers Big Sisters agency is always a resource for you. If you are ever not sure how to handle a situation, or if you are not sure if an action crosses boundaries, contact your match support specialist. We can talk through the situation, give you advice and connect you to needed resources. On your answer guide, please take a moment to reflect on what boundaries you feel are most important to maintain? Are there any boundaries that you think might be hard to maintain? Why?
One of the most exciting parts of the advocacy function is focusing on and emphasizing the unique strengths of the Little you are matched with. Rather than focusing on the risk factors or obstacles facing your Little, we encourage you to seek out their talents, interests and skills. Your activities can be based around maximizing and developing these strengths, rather than trying to “fix” something. To learn more about a strengths based approach, I encourage you to take a moment and explore the link to the list of 40 developmental assets. On your answer guide, take a moment to list any strengths that are a surprise or that you did not think of. Is there anything you think the list misses? After you have reflected on your guide, continue on to the next slide.
As part of a strengths based approach, partnerships are key. Sometimes it ’s easy to overlook your little as a partner and resource in your match. If you want to build on the strengths of your little, first you need to know more about them. You also need to have a good idea of your Little’s goals and needs so that you can figure out the best way to advocate and empower them. Getting to know each other like this will naturally occur as the two of you spend time together doing fun and rewarding activities. Here are some steps you can take to work with your Little as a team mate. Looking at this list are there any steps that seem like they would be easy or natural to occur when you are with your Little? Are there any steps that seem like they would be harder, or a challenge? Take a moment on your guide to reflect on the ways that you can partner with your Little Brother or Sister.
Partnerships with parents can make or break a match. Each parent will take a slightly different role in the match of their child. Some parents are a little more hands off and will be fine with you setting up plans directly with your little. Other parents will expect that you are contacting them first to set up any meeting or activity plans. Some are in between. One role is not necessarily better than the other, but even more hands off parents can still be a valueable partner and resource. They know the most about what their child likes and dislikes, how they are doing in school and home, and any behavior issues that might be occurring. This information is vital as you try to find ways to support and advocate for your Little ’s needs. Parents may also, over time, feel comfortable coming to you with issues that they might be experiencing or ideas of how you might be able to support their child. It is very important that no matter what the style of the parent your are working with you are coordinating with parents. Ultimately, they need to know what their child is doing, where they are at, and who they are with. This can be as simple as a check in before you leave, a quick text or a short email. It is important that you and your Little ’s parent figure out the method of communication that works best for the two of you. As communication develops, so will a strong match that ends is positive results. Do you have any initial concerns or worries about communicating with parents? What are some ideas that you can come up with now about how to build strong patterns of communication?
Just as you are there as a resource for your Little, your Big Brothers Big Sisters agency and your Match Support Specialist are also on hand as a resource to you. Think of our job as helping you, help your Little. In order to achieve this goal, we will be in contact at least monthly in order to check in on the progress if your match. We can also provide you with information and resources that you can use in you advocacy role; let you know about free and low cost activities; and listen to any issues you might be experiencing to try to solve it. We can ’t help you with an issues going on in your match if we don’t know about it, so we encourage you to lean on your agency and the experience and knowledge that we have gained over the last 100 years. Now on your answer guide, take moment to write about: In your own words, how can your MSS be an asset to you? What questions do you still have about the relationship with the MSS?
As I mentioned earlier, there is more than one way that you can advocate for and with your mentee. We don ’t expect that you, as a mentor, will necessarily work to support and empower your Little in every category, or in every possible capacity that we will list. What we do want is for you to be aware of the ways that you are able to be an advocate and helper based on your strengths, the strengths of your Little and the unique needs of your family. As we go through each of these categories, it is also important to remember that the ways you might get involved fall along a spectrum. In some instances, your support and advocacy might only go as far as a conversations, where in other cases there might be an opportunity to take a greater or more involved role. In each circumstance, it is important for you to maintain your boundaries and stay within your comfort level. Your match support specialist is always available to help you work through any situations that might come up. Now I will go through some examples of advocacy functions you might take in the school, community, work or school, courts or human services arena. This is not an exhaustive list, but merely some potential examples.
The school is often the easiest place to become an advocate, simply because you ’re probably already asking your little about how things are going in school every time you get together. There is a wide array of ways that you can advocate for your Little’s education, starting from checking in all the way to attending school meetings alongside the parent. So here is a list of some ideas of how you might get involved, from less to more direct advocacy roles: Checking in on how things are going Discussing importance of attendance Homework help Contact with teachers Helping in the classroom Parent/Teacher conferences IEPs and 504 Plans Disciplinary hearings Because so many mentors are involved in school and education, we will have an upcoming in-person training focused specifically on advocacy in schools. Take a moment to reflect on your guide: One a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable do you feel about being involved in the school setting? Explain why.
Previously, we mentioned that advocate-mentors take a strengths based approach when working with their mentee. By being aware of your Little ’s strengths, as well as the assets in the community, making connections between the two can be a fun and easy way to engage your Little while providing advocacy and empowerment opportunities. Some examples of ways that you can be an advocate for your Little in the community are: Exploring businesses, festivals Targeting activities around your Little ’s interests Connecting with colleges and universities Community service and volunteerism Connecting with local youth or civic organizations Utilizing community agencies and services Take a moment to reflect on your guide: One a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable do you feel with being an advocate in the community? Explain why.
Just as you can use your community assets to build your Little ’s strengths, you are also a new and powerful force in your mentee’s life. Think of yourself as one of your little’s strengths– even looking at the 40 Developmental Assets we can see that positive adults outside the family are a powerful force in the life of a child. By utilizing your own strengths and sharing experiences, natural connections can be made. Here are some ideas of how you can use yourself and experience in advocacy: Talking about careers/paths of study Cheering favorite college sports teams Bring your Little to Work or School Exploring career interests Take a moment to reflect on your guide: One a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable do you involving your Little and being an advocate in your own work and school setting? Explain why.
Not all mentors will ever experience or deal with a Little ’s involvement in the juvenile justice system or family courts. However, as you will see in an upcoming case example, this is one area where the role of an advocate can be extremely powerful. If and when you find yourself advocating in the courts, make sure to connect withy you match support specialist. In preparation, here are some ways that a mentor might be able to take an advocacy role within the justice system, on behalf of their Little: Researching information about child and family rights Discussing or debriefing contact with legal system Contact with court officer Acting as a reference Attending a court date with the family or child Take a moment to reflect on your guide: One a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable do you feel about being an advocate in the courts? Explain why.
The majority of the time you spend with your Little is going to be based on having fun and building their strengths. At times, you will probably identify needs of the family and child. Rather than try to meet these needs on your own, we hope that as an advocacy you can aid the child or family to learn about resources and opportunities they may qualify and benefit from. By partnering to explore these opportunities, rather than just meeting the need yourself, you are empowering the child and family for the next time they have an issue or crisis to be met. Ways that, as an advocate, you can empower your Little and their family include, but are not limited to: Researching community programs Connecting families to local resources Researching steps on obtaining services Discuss and help families understand programs, eligibility and requirements Offering to assist with paperwork or connecting with an agency that offers this service Take a moment to reflect on your guide: One a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable do you feel helping your little and their family gain needed services? Explain why.
Now we are going to take a look at a real match example, and the ways that a mentor can act as an advocate on behalf of their mentee. After you read the example on the next slide, please consider a few questions about what you have read. Take some time to write a reflection on the following questions: In what ways did the mentor take on an advocacy role? Do you think that the mentor maintained boundaries? What, if anything, would you do differently? Is there anything else that you would have done in this situation? If so, what would you have done? Do you have any additional questions after reading the case example?
N/A.
Now that you have looked at an example of what another mentor has done, I want to present you with some of the kids of situations that you might encounter as a mentor. Keeping in mind your advocacy role, the importance of boundaries, and building on your Little ’s strengths, read each of the two sections. On your answer guide, please write a reflection on the following: What strengths can you identify in this situation? What are some ways that you might be able to act as an advocate on behalf of your Little? What resources or information would you need to act? How would you maintain appropriate boundaries? What additional questions do you have about the scenario or your role in this situation?
Read this case example. Once you have completed your answer guide reflection questions, move along to the next slide.
Please read this example, and don ’t forget to record your reflections on your answer guide.
That concludes our initial presentation about your enhanced role as an advocate for your Little. As we finish this session, there are a few points that I would like to recap: Your role is to be a mentor first. Building a strong friendship with your Little, focusing on their strengths and partnering w You have a special opportunity as part of this enhancement project to advocate on behalf of your Little The agency is here to support you and provide additional training Boundaries will help ensure match success Reach out to your Match Support Specialist with questions.
Congratulations. You have now completed your one hour course on advocacy and mentoring. Once you have completed your answer guide, email or fax it back to the agency staff that sent it to you. You should have that contact information in the email this document was sent to you in. However, if you have lost it, we have contact information on the next slide. From here, you can expect that agency staff will follow up with you about setting up a match meeting, if you have not yet met your Little. Once you and your Little start meeting, we will be in at least monthly contact with you about your match. Agency staff will follow up with you as quarterly trainings become available. You are expected to attend the in-person quarterly trainings, and your match support specialist will work with you to make sure that you are able to attend.
If you have additional questions, please feel free to contact the appropriate contact person at your agency. We appreciate you taking the time to go through this training, and your dedication to being a positive influence in the life of a child. We wish you the best of luck in your match, and please take some time to share your success stories as they come up. Thank you!
