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COMMUNITY MANAGEMENT.pdf
1. Your role in the community, How you can support
your community, Looking after the environment
Your role in the community:
Becoming a British citizen or settling in the UK
brings responsibilities but also opportunities.
Everyone has the opportunity to participate in their
community. This section looks at some of the
responsibilities of being a citizen and gives
information about how you can help to make your
community a better place to live and work.
Values and responsibilities:
Although Britain is one of the world’s most diverse
societies, there is a set of shared values and
responsibilities that everyone can agree with. These
values and responsibilities that everyone can agree
with. These values and responsibilities include:
• To obey and respect the law
• To be aware of the rights of others and respect
those rights
• To treat others with fairness
• To behave responsibly
2. • To help and protect your family
• To respect and preserve the environment
• To treat everyone equally, regardless of sex, race,
religion, age, disability, class or sexual orientation
• To work to provide for yourself and your family
• To help others
• To vote in local and national government elections.
Taking on these values and responsibilities will make
it easier for you to become a full and active citizen.
Being a good neighbour:
When you move into a new house or apartment,
introduce yourself to the people who live near you.
Getting to know your neighbours can help you to
become part of the community and make friends.
Your neighbours are also a good source of help – for
example, they may be willing to feed your pets if you
are away, or offer advice on local shops and
services.
You can help prevent any problems and conflicts
with your neighbours by respecting their privacy and
limiting how much noise you make. Also try to keep
3. your garden tidy, and only put your refuse bags and
bins on the street or in communal areas if they are
due to be collected.
Getting involved in local activities:
Volunteering and helping your community are an
important part of being a good citizen. They enable
you to integrate and get to know other people. It
helps to make your community a better place if
residents support each other. It also helps you to
fulfil your duties as a citizen, such as behaving
responsibly and helping others.
How you can support your community:
There are a number of positive ways in which you
can support your community and be a good citizen.
Jury service:
As well as getting the right to vote, people on the
electoral register are randomly selected to serve on
a jury. Anyone who is on the electoral register and is
aged 18 to 70 can be asked to do this.
Helping in schools:
4. If you have children, there are many ways in which
you can help at their schools. Parents can often help
in classrooms, by supporting activities or listening to
children read.
Many schools organise events to raise money for
extra equipment or out-ofschool activities. Activities
might include book sales, toy sales or bringing food
to sell. You might have good ideas of your own for
raising money.
Sometimes events are organised by parent-teacher
associations (PTAs). Volunteering to help with their
events or joining the association is a way of doing
something good for the school and also making new
friends in your local community. You can find out
about these opportunities from notices in the school
or notes your children bring home.
School governors and school boards:
School governors, or members of the school board
in Scotland, are people from the local community
who wish to make a positive contribution to their
children’s education. They must be aged 18 or over
at the date of their election or appointment. There is
no upper age limit.
5. Governors and school boards have an important part
to play in raising school standards. They have three
key roles:
• Setting the strategic direction of the school
• Ensuring accountability
• Monitoring and evaluating school performance.
You can contact your local school to ask if they need
a new governor or school board member. In
England, you can also apply online at the School
Governors’ One-Stop Shop at www.sgoss.org.uk
In England, parents and other community groups
can apply to open a free school in their local area.
More information about this can be found on the
Department for Education website at www.dfe.gov.uk
Supporting political parties:
Political parties welcome new members. Joining one
is a way to demonstrate your support for certain
views and to get involved in the democratic process.
Political parties are particularly busy at election
times. Members work hard to persuade people to
vote for their candidates – for instance, by handing
6. out leaflets in the street or by knocking on people’s
doors and asking for their support. This is called
‘canvassing’. You don’t have to tell a canvasser how
you intend to vote if you don’t want to.
British citizens can stand for office as a local
councillor, a member of Parliament (or the devolved
equivalents) or a member of the European
Parliament. This is an opportunity to become even
more involved in the political life of the UK. You may
also be able to stand for office if you are an Irish
citizen, an eligible Commonwealth citizen or (except
for standing to be an MP) a citizen of another EU
country.
You can find out more about joining a political party
from the individual party websites.
Helping with local services:
There are opportunities to volunteer with a wide
range of local service providers, including local
hospitals and youth projects. Services often want to
involve local people in decisions about the way in
which they work. Universities, housing associations,
museums and arts councils may advertise
7. for people to serve as volunteers in their governing
bodies.
Social networks like Facebook and Instagram are
just one type of community, albeit one of the most
recognizable ones on the web today.
Other community types include user groups, special
interest forums and message boards, chat rooms,
and even “virtual worlds.” Every community, big or
small, relies on people embodying five different roles
to be successful. Communities that have all five
working together are the ones that tend to succeed
and become desirable destinations.
1.The host: Somebody has to be willing to
entertain all these guests. The host’s job is to
put on a great event, maintain the peace, and
clean up after the party is over. On top of that,
8. the host has to make sure everybody is having a
good time by keeping your glass full, the food
coming, the music playing, and the
entertainment lively. Without the host you
wouldn’t have a place to kick back, hang up your
coat, and pass the time. The host’s job isn’t all
fun though. The host has to be willing to set
some rules, enforce them, and (when in doubt)
kick some people out. Perhaps most importantly,
the host needs to be trustworthy. After all, no
one wants to attend a sketchy party.
2.The facilitator: They’re often confused with the
host because they seem like a do-gooder who
wants to ensure everyone is having a good time.
However, the facilitator plays a different and very
important role. The facilitator has a curious
nature and truly enjoy a good conversation.
9. Without the facilitator, conversations would grow
quiet and stagnant — people would stop
mingling and meeting other people. On some
levels the facilitator is a matchmaker. Their
grasp of all the things taking place in the
community is amazing. But, unlike the voyeur,
the facilitator is willing to share that information
with people.
3.The popular one: This is the most important
person in the community. Yes, the popular one
makes it all about “me,” but they also bring a
whole bunch of people with them. Some people
show up to see them. Some people show up to
be able to say they saw them. Some people
show up because they might see them. The
popular one has a tight-knit set of friends and a
large group of pseudo-friends that show up
10. wherever they go. If you don’t get the popular
one(s) to show up, you’re going to have a tiny,
boring, and listless community.
4.The instigator: Somebody needs to stir the pot.
Somebody needs to be willing to say the things
others won’t and do the things that make people
shake their head. That’s what’s great about the
instigator — they keep things interesting. People
simultaneously love and hate the instigator.
They love watching what comes next, but they
hate all the attention he/she gets. But, here’s the
thing — everybody loves controversy. It’s the
reason the news outlets exist. If everyday was
72 degrees and sunny and everybody was
happy, no one would tune in or read the paper.
The instigator engages in conversations just to
11. take the “other” position. They are pure
entertainment.
5.The voyeur: I love the voyeur. They don’t cause
problems, usually lend a hand to the host, never
overstay their welcome, and always tell
everyone what a GREAT time they had. In some
circles they’re known as wallflowers, but that’s
not really giving them their due. Wallflowers
don’t interact and seldom even show up. The
voyeur shows up. It’s that showing up that helps
the community out tremendously. They make an
impact even without actively participating,
because they can be counted. The host can
say/claim 500 people showed up, even if 420 of
them were voyeurs. Without the voyeur we’d all
be in trouble.
12. I’m sure you identify with one of these roles. Often
I’m the instigator, but other times I’m the host. Read
my tweets, check out my posts on forums, and look
at my comments on other people’s blogs to see the
type of investigator I am.
Knowing these roles and being able to spot the
people playing them is critical to making sure your
community finds success. You may find the
weightings in your community differ slightly — and
that’s ok, because every community is different.
Community of practice (CoP) is a primary
framework in social computing research that
addresses learning and organizing specific
practices in online communities. However, the
13. classic CoP theory does not provide a detailed
account for how practices change or evolve.
Against the backdrop of a rapidly changing
occupational landscape, it is crucial to
understand how people participate in online
communities focused on practices that have a
volatile nature, as well as how social
computing tools can best support them. In this
article, we examine user experience (UX)
design as a volatile practice that has no
coherent body of knowledge and lacks a
14. concrete path for newcomers to become a UX
professional. Our study site is the
“/r/userexperience” subreddit, an online UX
community where practitioners socialize and
learn. Using a mixed-methods approach, we
identified five distinct social roles in relation to
knowledge production and dissemination in
the online community of volatile practice. We
demonstrate that knowledge production is
highly distributed, involving the participation
and sensemaking of community members of
15. varied levels of experience. We discuss how
online platforms support online community of
volatile practice and how our findings
contribute to the CoP literature.
Responsibilities
● Support Community Programs. Support the
GitLab for Education, GitLab for Open Source,
and GitLab for Startups programs, as well as
any new programs that are created, and the
associated community programs' application
16. workflow. This includes responding to all
in-bound applications and requests from
program members as we work towards further
automating these flows.
● Implement, maintain, and troubleshoot.
Actively participate in the implementation of, and
then lead the maintenance of the Automated
Community Programs workflows. This includes
improving and troubleshooting related processes
and working cross-functionally with associated
teams in Community Relations, Product,
17. Fulfillment, Sales Operations, and Customer
Support.
● Maintain tool stack. Maintain the tool stack
required for all Community Relations team
operations. This includes, but is not limited to:
Keyhole, Zendesk, Discourse, SheerID, Coupa,
Allocadia, Disqus, and Google Analytics. See
the full tech stack list here.
● Maintain budget. Establish quarterly budgeting
processes. Maintain and lead a regular planning
and reporting cadence for the Community
Relations team.
18. ● Improve efficiency. Maximize the Community
Relations team's efficiency, productivity, and
performance.
● Measure effectiveness of community
programs. Partner with all Program Managers
on the Community Relations team to measure
and report the success and effectiveness of their
programs. In doing so, you will also be working
closely with the Marketing Operations, and Data
and Analytics teams.
● Maintain Community website page content.
Ensure that we have up-to-date content on our
19. community website pages and liaise with the
web team to ensure the design and UX is
consistent with the rest of the website.
● Monitor changes. GitLab moves very quickly,
an aspect of this role is keeping up with all the
changes that occur in the product and offerings.
This role will keep abreast of changes and make
sure that the programs adapt.
● Use GitLab. Use GitLab extensively to organize
work and collaborate cross-functionally.
Requirements
20. ● You thrive at developing process improvements
and are an excellent critical thinker.
● You share our values, and work in accordance
with those values.
● You thrive at developing new approaches and
refining existing processes to enable teams to
work more efficiently.
● You are pattern-seeking and enjoy creating
replicable, scalable processes.
● You love making sure community members have
the best experience possible as they interact
with our tools and systems.
21. ● You excel at working cross-functionally or with
multiple stakeholders.
● You have excellent written and spoken English
language communication skills.
● You have had experience working in a customer,
or community-facing environment, and are able
to communicate effectively and empathetically.
● You are very detail oriented.
● You have proven experience creating
documentation and process-oriented content.
● You are willing to use GitLab.
Nice-to-haves:
22. ● Familiarity using GitLab, Salesforce, Zendesk,
and other tools that the Community Relations
team uses.
● Experience creating and maintaining budgets.
● Change management skills.
● Experience updating website copy or making
website edits.
● Vendor-management, negotiation, and
procurement experience.
● Data-oriented and familiar with defining and
implementing key performance metrics.
23. Note: We strongly encourage people from
underrepresented groups to apply. Even if you do
not meet 100% of the requirements, we encourage
you to apply if you believe you would be a great fit!
Performance Indicators
● Time to approve community program
applications.
● Percentage of manual vs. automated application
processes.
● Member/contributor satisfaction for community
programs.
● Number of community program applications
solved.
24. ● Ability to process a community program
application in the time promised our customers;
5-10 business days.
Hiring Process
Candidates for this position can expect the hiring
process to follow the order below. Please keep in
mind that candidates can be declined from the
position at any stage of the process.
● Qualified candidates will be invited to schedule a
30 minute screening call with one of our Global
Recruiters.
25. ● Qualified candidates will attend a one 60 minute
call with the Community Operations
Manager,during which time they can expect to
provide a writing sample.
● Qualified candidates will be invited to two or
three 45 minute interviews with members of the
Community Relations Team. During this time the
candidate can expect topics on communication,
required skills for the job, and GitLab values.
Additional details about our process can be found on
our hiring page.
Job Family Levels
26. Depending on your experience, you will qualify for
one of the following job levels. Each level has its
own set of expectations and pay grades.
Associate Community Operations Manager
The Associate Community Operations Manager
reports to the Director, Community Relations.
Associate Community Operations Manager Job
Grade
The Associate Community Operations Manager is a
grade 5.
Associate Community Operations Manager
Responsibilities
All general responsibilities plus the following:
27. ● Standardize communications for community
programs. As we evolve our community
programs, we'll need to make sure that we
update all of our outreach and support materials.
You will lead this effort and suggest ways we
can make our messaging more
customer-friendly and effective.
● Improve efficiency of tools. Make sure we are
using all of our current tools in the best way
possible. Become the team's expert in using
each tool and suggest improved ways to use
them to help with program goals.
28. Associate Community Operations Manager
Requirements
All general requirements plus the following:
● You have a passion for learning and improving.
● You are customer-centric and have a desire to
create delightful experiences for our community.
Community Operations Manager (Intermediate)
The Community Operations Manager (Intermediate)
reports to the [Director, Community
Relations](/job-families/marketing/director-of-commu
nity-relations/#director-community-relations.
Community Operations Manager (Intermediate)
Job Grade
29. The Community Operations Manager (Intermediate)
is a grade 6.
Community Operations Manager (Intermediate)
Responsibilities
Extends the Associate Community Operations
Manager responsibilities with the following:
● Iterate on community program workflows.
Work to improve the community programs
application workflow by iterating on what we are
already building. Proactively look for ways to
make the processes even more efficient.
● Create policies. Assist in developing common
policies, processes and resources consistent
30. across all community programs, with a
handbook-first approach.
● Assess new tools. In addition to managing
existing tools, you will assess new tools to more
effectively serve the GitLab community and to
contribute to growth.
● Dive into metrics. Partner with all Program
Managers on the Community Relations team to
measure and report the success of their
programs. In doing so, you will also be working
closely with the Marketing Operations, and Data
and Analytics teams.
31. ● Establish quarterly budgeting processes.
Create ways to make sure that we are effectively
planning for and using our budget. Stay up to
date with changes to accounting policies and
lead a regular planning and reporting cadence
for the Community Relations team.
Community Operations Manager (Intermediate)
Requirements
Extends that of the Associate Community
Operations Specialist with the following:
● You are extremely proactive.
● You are extremely detail-oriented.
32. ● You are able to learn to use GitLab for all of your
project management work.
Senior Community Operations Manager
The Senior Community Operations Manager reports
to the Director, Community Relations.
Senior Community Operations Manager Job
Grade
The Senior Community Operations Manager is a
grade 7.
Senior Community Operations Manager
Responsibilities
Extends the Community Operations Manager
(Intermediate) responsibilities with the following:
33. ● Lead automation processes. Significantly
contribute to the automation all the Community
Relations team's processes and workflows.
● Work cross-functionally. Proactively work
across functions with peers in other groups to
ensure collaboration on shared goals.
● Create frameworks for success. Collaborate
with all Community Relations team's Program
Managers to create a framework for community
programs, including templates and guidelines for
landing pages, contributor events, membership,
incentives, etc.
34. ● Lead updates to community website pages.
You will proactively update community website
pages to help make it easier for our community
to find the information they need. You'll create
processes and workflows to help make sure that
the pages stay up-to-date.
● Use GitLab extensively for project
management and process improvements.
You'll use GitLab to project manage all of your
work, and will create best practices to roll out to
the rest of the Community Relations team.
35. Senior Community Operations Manager
Requirements
Extends that of the Community Operations Manager
(Intermediate) requirements with the following:
● You have proven leadership abilities and the
ability to influence without authority.
● You have 5+ years in project management,
program management, or similar role.
● You have experience leading large or complex,
cross-functional projects from start to finish.
● You have an analytical mindset and are
experienced with measuring the success of
projects and programs.
36. ● You have rolled out new policies across an
organization, or team, with great success.
Career Ladder
The next step for the Community Operations
Manager job family is not yet defined past Senior
Community Operations Manager.
Compensation Calculator
To find out more about the compensation for this
role, please apply to a role first. Once selected for a
screening call, you'll be able to sign up here to view
our compensation calculator. Be sure to use the
same email address for both.
37. About GitLab
GitLab Inc. is a company based on the GitLab
open-source project. GitLab is a community project
to which over 2,200 people worldwide have
contributed. We are an active participant in this
community, trying to serve its needs and lead by
example. We have one vision: everyone can
contribute to all digital content, and our mission is to
change all creative work from read-only to read-write
so that everyone can contribute.
We value results, transparency, sharing, freedom,
efficiency, self-learning, frugality, collaboration,
directness, kindness, diversity, inclusion and
belonging, boring solutions, and quirkiness. If these
values match your personality, work ethic, and
personal goals, we encourage you to visit our primer
38. to learn more. Open source is our culture, our way of
life, our story, and what makes us truly unique.
Top 10 Reasons to Work for GitLab:
1.Mission: Everyone can contribute
2.Results: Fast growth, ambitious vision
3.Flexible Work Hours: Plan your day so you are
there for other people & have time for personal
interests
4.Transparency: Over 2,000 webpages in GitLab
handbook, GitLab Unfiltered YouTube channel
39. 5.Iteration: Empower people to be effective & have
an impact, Merge Request rate, We dogfood our
own product, Directly responsible individuals
6.Diversity, Inclusion & Belonging: A focus on
gender parity, Team Member Resource Groups,
other initiatives
7.Collaboration: Kindness, saying thanks,
intentionally organize informal communication,
no ego
8.Total Rewards: Competitive market rates for
compensation, Equity compensation, global
benefits (inclusive of office equipment)
40. 9.Work/Life Harmony: Flexible workday, Friends
and Family days
10. Remote Done Right: One of the world's largest
all-remote companies, prolific inventor of remote
best practices.
Roles Within the Family
Families are not democracies. Each family has its own
ways of deciding who has the power and authority within
the family unit, and which rights, privi
leges, obligations,
and roles are assigned to each family member.
41. In most families parents are expected to be the leaders or
executives of the family; children are expected to follow
the leadership of their parents. As chil
dren in the middle
years grow older, they will ask for, and certainly should
be allowed, more autonomy, and their opinions should be
considered when deci
sions are made; however, parents are
the final authorities.
Of course there will always be disagreements among the
generations. Your child may want to go to the beach on a
family vacation; you may want to go to the mountains. He
may think he has too many chores to do; you may think
he has just the right amount. Let him speak his mind, but
the The role of the facilitator is to:
● Build community in the group, making sure that
each person is included, heard, and valued
● Help participants bring their own experiences to
the living tradition we share
● Ensure the group begins and ends on time and
maintains its covenant
● Guide the group through the session outline
● Establish and maintain a comfortable, inclusive
tone and feeling in the session.
42. The facilitator is also a participant in discussion, but
the group process is the facilitator's first
consideration. They need to be present, to help keep
things on track, but it is vital that facilitators refrain
from "leading" too much. They can move
discussions along, but the members truly own the
group and have primary responsibility for its success
or failure.
Choose facilitators for their interpersonal skills and
commitment to the program. They need training and
ongoing support. Chapter 3 offers a sample,
two-session training. For ongoing support, provide
facilitators with regular, scheduled meetings with a
designated person, such as a youth advisor,
religious educator, or minister, to evaluate how the
group is going and to continue developing facilitation
skills.
It is important that youth feel a connection to
facilitators who work with them. You might ask youth
to suggest facilitators. Youth themselves make good
facilitators of small group ministry sessions.
Facilitation of small group ministry is such a powerful
43. tool for leadership development you will not want to
waste it by asking only adults to facilitate. You may
have youth with previous facilitation experience who
are comfortable leading entire sessions. Open the
invitation to facilitator training to all youth. Some will
be comfortable facilitating after the training; others
may not. To assist youth in growing into the role of
facilitator, consider shared facilitation.
There are different ways to share facilitation of
sessions. Youth and adults can share facilitation of
each session or alternate facilitating sessions. You
can also use shared facilitation to build leadership
skills among many members of the group. Ask for
volunteers to coordinate different parts of a session:
One participant could share an Opening, while
another introduces the focus, and yet another leads
the Check-out. If you decide to assign roles this way,
always have a back-up plan in case a participant is
for any reason unable to complete their assignment.
Make sure you are available before the session to
secure any needed resources and follow up with
preparation.
44. If you are a youth who will facilitate sessions,
remember there are adult advisors you can call on
for help, if needed. If a group of all youth are
meeting, adult advisors should still be present within
the building for the sake of safety. Advisors fill an
important role. They help create a safe space for the
sessions. In the context of a small group, an advisor
is both a resource and a participant. They might
share facilitation. If only youth facilitate, advisors
serve as important resources for materials,
communication, and a bridge to the wider
congregation.
One of the first duties of a facilitator is to help the
group develop a covenant. This is important
because of the relational aspect of small group
ministry. This covenant, or promise on how to be
together, can help the group move from just avoiding
disruption and conflict to demonstrating a way of
caring. Developing a covenant should be one of the
first activities of a group. Review the covenant
whenever a new person joins the group, and at least
45. annually. Sample Session 2, Being Together, Part II
includes guidance on creating a covenant.
● PREVIOUS: How large should a group be?
● UP: Chapter 2: Planning and Implementation
● NEXT: How can small group ministry work with a
service component.
SHARE:
ultimate decision is yours. Explain why you've made the
judgment you have, without becoming de
fensive or
apologetic. You won't always be popular in these
decisions, but your youngster is still going to love you.
Although generational hierarchies are the most obvious
ones within fami
lies, other types of hierarchies exist as
well. Sometimes they depend on gen
der. In patriarchal
societies such as ours, men have traditionally had power
over women, including within the family. Traditionally,
fathers have been the providers and authority figures, but
while they may be the final decision
makers, they often
have assumed only limited functions beyond that in the
family. Mothers have been the caretakers, responsible for
46. the emotional side of the family; they have kept the
family together and functioning smoothly. What this
means is that mothers and fathers are likely to hold
different posi
tions in the family hierarchy, that mothers
take primary responsibility and that fathers may have only
partial responsibility for day-to-day parental deci
sions.
Today, however, there are challenges to this traditional
gender-based struc
ture. In many families both fathers and
mothers are bringing home paychecks. And while women
still seem to shoulder the larger share of responsibility for
the day-to-day operations of the family, more fathers are
assuming greater roles in child-raising and household
duties.
It is useful to consider what roles each family member
takes within the fam
ily, and whether everyone is satisfied
with the current arrangement. For ex
ample, the oldest
children in the family may take on the parental role of
caring for their younger siblings. Or grandparents may
acquire an important place within the family by assuming
a central child-rearing role while parents work.
Think about who is responsible for what within your own
family and how the current arrangement is working. Some
47. responsibilities may be open to ne
gotiation, particularly if
the family does not seem to be functioning optimally. For
example, an older child may be resentful of having too
much responsibil
ity for watching over the younger
children, while the younger children may also resent the
older child playing a parental role. This will result in
arguments whenever the oldest child is left in charge.
Parents need to review what is go
ing on, discuss how the
children are feeling about it, and come up with some
alternatives.
Responsibility is a wonderful attribute to have in a
child, teenager, adult, employee, employer, you name
it! Already when your children are young, you can
assign them chores to demonstrate that members of
a family work together to maintain the home and
that Mommy is not the cleaning woman. In addition,
responsibility begets maturity and increases
48. self-esteem, as the child recognizes that he or she is
a capable person.
Your teens should be responsible for their
homework, their own room, and for cleaning up after
their own projects. Once they have assumed
responsibility for their possessions, you can look at
your family circumstances and evaluate what
additional responsibilities your teens can take on for
their own growth as well as for the smoother
functioning of the house. Usually, teenagers should
be able to carry out whatever chores they're given
just as well as an adult, although they may need a
training period.
49. In addition, teenagers should be held responsible for
their actions. If they lose something through
carelessness, they should pay for a replacement or
work to earn money to pay for it. If they forget an
appointment, they should be the ones to call,
apologize and reschedule. A parent who always
protects a teenager from experiencing the
consequences of his or her behavior is blocking the
development of responsibility.
Most teenagers are capable of watching their
younger siblings and may even babysit for other
families for pay. In general, anything your teens get
paid to do for other families (mowing the grass,
shoveling snow, washing dishes) they can also do
for their own family. Of course, the presentation is
50. crucial, as you don't want to come across
heavy-handed or as if you're enslaving them. If your
teenager is bogged down with homework or finals,
however, schoolwork is a primary responsibility, so
you might want to scale down your requests until the
busy academic season passes.
What responsibilities should a teenager have?
Teenagers should be held responsible for their
actions. A parent who always protects a teenager
from experiencing the consequences of his or her
behavior is blocking the development of
responsibility.
Why is teen responsibility important?
51. Responsibility begets maturity and increases
self-esteem, as the child recognizes that he or she is
a capable person.
What are the stages of adolescence?
Adolescence is divided into three stages: early (ages
11-14), middle (ages 15-17) and late (ages 18-21).
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What chores should a teenager have?
Your teens should be responsible for their
homework, their own room, and for cleaning up after
their own projects. You can look at your family
circumstances and evaluate what additional
responsibilities your teens can take on.
What is the role of teenager in our society?
52. If your teenager is bogged down with homework or
finals, schoolwork is a primary responsibility, so you
might want to scale down your requests until the
busy academic season passes.
Bullying used to be pretty straightforward. A kid (or
kids) ganged up on other kids, shouting taunts at
them, shoving them around or stealing their stuff.
But that took actual brute aggression, and most kids
weren't up to mustering that level of face-to-face
cruelty. Then along came the Internet and many
less-physically empowered kids had their "prayers"
answered: They could be despicably malicious to
classmates and peers with seeming anonymity and
impunity.
This new style of bullying is often considered more
intimidating than physical violence. Tweens and
53. teens (the most common victims of cyberbullying)
can't leave their bullies at school anymore.
Cyberbullies can follow them home; they can come
into their dens and bedrooms. Whether it's harassing
text messages, chat room rumors, embarrassing
e-mail blasts, hurtful online polling or incriminating
photo uploads, cyberbullies have a lot more in their
arsenal -- and are able to deliver to a much wider
audience -- than the bullies of years past.
If you suspect cyberbullying could become an issue
in your household, you have a number of strategies
available for helping your children deal with it. The
first thing you need is information.
54. 5: Monitor Electronic Use
To deal with cyberbullying, you have to know
whether or not it's occurring. It's important that your
teens trust you and are willing to come to you if
there's an issue. When they do, you'll want to strike a
balance between overreacting and under-reacting
when you hear the news.
But if your adolescents aren't the most forthcoming
about their online activities, and you suspect
something is up, you may need to do some legwork
to find out whether there's an issue, say by
purchasing some monitoring software. To protect
your children from cyberbullies, it's important to
keep tabs on what technologies they're using, how
55. much they're using them and with whom they're
using them.
When it comes to Facebook, it's a good idea to have
your kids "friend" you so you can see what they're
posting and what other people are posting about
them. If you can, ask them for some of their
passwords, too, so you can keep an eye on their
online communications like IMs and e-mails. Set
limits on how much they can use the Internet and
other electronic devices -- studies have shown the
more time teens spend online, the more likely they
are to fall victim to cyberbullying.
4
Educate Accordingly
56. To provide less fodder for cyberbullies, educate your
children about the importance of maintaining
decorum and privacy both online and offline. If
there's already a cyberbully harassing your children,
you'll also need to teach them how to handle it. The
best strategy in many cases is to ignore the bullying,
or at least not react to it. While it's not always easy,
simply deleting hurtful communications or avoiding
dwelling on them can often help diminish the
cyberbully's eagerness to continue. You can also
consider approaching the parents of cyberbullies (if
you know who they are) to see if they're willing to
intervene.
If you suspect your kid is the one doing some
cyberbullying (teens often switch back and forth
57. between bully and bullied), explain how awful it's
probably making his or her victim feel. Also,
emphasize how cyberbullying is neither funny nor
harmless, and how their negative actions can have
serious consequences.
3: Modify Settings
You don't want strangers to be able to contact your
kids. So advise your teens to tweak their privacy
settings to restrict who can see info about them
online, especially on social networking sites like
Facebook. Also, work to limit how searchable their
personal information is, because the less potential
cyberbullies are able to access and exploit it, the
better.
58. You can also block or sever the lines of
communication between an existing cyberbully and
your kids by having them take steps like changing
their e-mail addresses, phone numbers and other
forms of online presence. Remind them to never
share their passwords or stay logged in to sites
when they're away from their computers.
2: Collect Evidence
If it starts to look like the cyberbullying could be
serious -- maybe your child has grown despondent,
depressed or has been threatened physically -- then
it's important to archive and print out any evidence
you can get your hands on.
Whether that's texts, e-mails or screenshots of wall
posts, document any incidents of cyberbullying so
59. you have a reliable record. Make sure you also keep
tabs on the dates and times of different
occurrences. You'll need the proof you collect if you
plan on going to the authorities in order to support
your case.
1: Report Violations
Not all cyberbullying is punishable under the law, but
if the bullying escalates beyond what you believe is
acceptable, contact your local police department or
the nearest FBI office. They can either help you or
point you to an appropriate law enforcement agency.
This is especially true if the cyberbullying involves
actions like password theft, identity theft or threats
of physical or sexual violence.
60. You can also contact your child's school. Guidance
counselors and others there may be able to help,
although not always by directly disciplining a
cyberbully if he or she acts off campus. They can
educate students about the harmfulness of
cyberbullying, amend their acceptable-use policies
to include applicable punishment clauses, and be on
the lookout for on-campus bullying. Finally, you can
cut off a bully's lines of communication by filing
complaints with Internet service providers (ISPs) or
Web site moderators who often have the power to
suspend or ban cyberbullies.