2. LETTEROF APOLOGY
When you have had difficulty or a conflict with a
person, a letter of apology can be effective in
setting things right. Apologizing by letter permits
the other person to accept your apology, without
argument or waffling. It also eliminates your
desire to want to retract part of it or argue over the
history of the incident. At the same time, do not
turn to letters simply to distance yourself from a
difficult situation or protect yourself from a
situation that may become confrontational. The
advantage of letter writing is that you can take
your time composing your thoughts, and the
recipient can similarly take her time considering
your message and deciding how to respond.
3. Format: Handwritten or typed/word-processed.
Personal letterhead.
Style/Tone/Voice: Formal. Active voice.
Structure: (1) Recall the specific incident,
(2) Apologize unconditionally, but
(3) Let the reader know about any mitigating
circumstances, if they exist,
(4) Repeat your apology, and
(5) Close by saying you look forward to
continuing the relationship.
Handy Phrases: Sincere regrets; I’m sorry; I was
wrong; I made a mistake.
4. Sample Letter
Dear Steven:
My comments about your playing last Thursday had only the
best intention. Any suggestions I make are only to make you a
better player. You’re already so good, I didn’t think my
suggestion would upset you.
I am sorry my words upset you. From now on, I’ll think more
carefully about how I say things before I say them. My job is to
teach and motivate you, and obviously I let you down in the
latter.
My apologies.
Sincerely,
Jack
5. Tips forWriting Letters of
Apology
Apologize unconditionally.
Admit you were wrong. Accept the blame even
if the other person is not in fact blameless.
Be the bigger person. Don’t be petty or search
for ways in which they previously did you
wrong as a way of compensating for today’s
apology.
6. Tips forWriting Letters of
Apology
Apologize unconditionally.
Admit you were wrong. Accept the blame even
if the other person is not in fact blameless.
Be the bigger person. Don’t be petty or search
for ways in which they previously did you
wrong as a way of compensating for today’s
apology.